Dr. Roberts' treatments worked miracles. Within weeks I no longer had nightmares and was finally able to sleep through the night. I also found myself increasingly drawn to the study of psychology. It was so fascinating how one's dreams were manifestations of underlying thoughts and desires and the more I read about it, from books borrowed from Dr. Roberts, the more intrigued I became. I wanted to know more about what made people think the way they did and how it affected their everyday decisions, relationships, and attitudes. I knew it was fast becoming an accepted field of science and I desperately wanted to be a part of it. If what Dr. Roberts had done for me was only the beginning of the avenues I could explore, then I was going to have to learn everything I could.

I continued to visit Dr. Roberts, watching him assess patients, deliver diagnoses and treatments and he was a willing and helpful teacher, excited at the prospect of more interest in the field. Every day was something new and compelling. I was particularly interested in Sigmund Freud's analysis of dreams and the unconscious, but it all fascinated me.

The weeks went by and soon it was a few days before Christmas. Wreaths were being hung from people's doors as well as on various lamps throughout the streets. I had always loved Christmas. It was a magical time for everyone. The snow that had been steadily falling glistened in the sunlight, making it look like the ground was covered in diamonds. It was such a beautiful time of year and I didn't mind the cold, for the anticipation that the first snowfall brought of Christmas brought me back to being ten years old again. I loved roasting chestnuts and hanging mistletoe, trimming the Christmas tree with candles and tinsel, and the generosity that came with the purest of joys during the season.

As I walked down Yonge Street, I glanced into all the shop windows. I had no idea of what to get Darcy for Christmas. He was the type of man who had everything he needed already. I settled on an elegant pair of cufflinks and a new tie, since all of his were horribly out of date. I found a new black doctor's bag for my father, as Ruby had told me his was getting worn, and I bought a beautiful ruby pendant for Ruby and had her initials engraved on the back. I thought it fitting and since I knew she was looking for a new one, I decided it would be perfect. As I walked by a bookshop, a particularly striking cover caught my eye. It was a two-volume set of Winston Churchill's latest account of war in the Sudan, The River War. I knew William was a great admirer of Mr. Churchill's and had read his previous works.

I went to enter the bookstore and then stopped, looking back at the window display. It was the first Christmas that I was married and it suddenly dawned on me that perhaps buying William a present such as this was inappropriate. We were still very close and yet I wondered how it would look if I bought him such a personal gift. I looked down at my feet, biting my lip and pondering my predicament. Then I looked back at the display and remembered how much William meant to me, as a colleague and a friend if nothing else. We had always been close and nothing could erase that. He had also recently saved my life and for that I felt that a gift such as this could be a perfect reminder of my gratitude. Besides, they were simply books. It was not as though I was buying him an expensive pocket watch. I went inside and purchased the volumes, smiling when I thought of William's face when he saw it. It brought me back to the time I gave him the bullet extractor and I sighed at the far too distant memory and all the things that had happened since then.

I shook my head, took a deep breath and headed for home. Ruby and my father would be arriving soon and I needed to check with Mrs. Weller on what was going to be served for dinner. When I arrived the house already smelled of the sweet odour of pine and I knew Darcy had gone to get a Christmas tree. I hurried into the parlour and beamed at the tall, green and luscious tree.

"Do you like it?" I heard Darcy say from the doorway.

"Oh Darcy, it's just beautiful! It makes me feel like a little girl again!" I said excitedly, gazing at the tree and imagining it all lit and trimmed.

He smiled at my giggle. I walked toward the hall again, about to pick up my packages when he stopped me and looked up.

I followed his gaze and saw a bundle of mistletoe hanging above us. I smiled nervously and leaned away from him slightly.

"Julia," he said softly and I saw desire creep into his eyes. His hands wrapped around my waist and drew me to him and before I could react, he pressed his lips against mine. I responded out of instinct and he took it as a signal to keep going, his whole body leaning against me, and his kiss deepening.

"Darcy, please," I whispered, turning my head away. "I… I have to talk to Mrs. Weller."

I tried to move away, but he held me tighter.

"What's happened, Julia? Where did we go wrong?"

"I don't want to discuss this right now, not today," I said, disappointment on the edge of my tongue. He was ruining what was supposed to be my favourite time of year.

Darcy abruptly let me go. "Fine," he said sharply and turned to go upstairs and change for dinner.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. Whether it was from relief or apprehension, I wasn't sure.

I was interrupted from my reverie by a knock at the door.

"Jules!" Ruby's chipper voice greeted me as I opened the door. We kissed and I saw my father standing behind her.

"Hello Julia," he said, kissing my cheek.

"Hello, Father," I returned.

"Oh Jules! The house looks absolutely enchanting," Ruby beamed, gesturing to everything around her.

"Thank you, Ruby," I laughed. Ruby and I always did have such happy memories of Christmas. I turned to my father and smiled warmly. Despite our own strained relationship, there was no denying that this time of year did bring us closer together, if only for a few days.

"Let me take your coats!" I said, momentarily forgetting myself.

They settled in nicely and we sat in the parlour, talking and taking turns putting decorations on the tree. When dinner was ready, we entered the dining room and sat down at a beautifully set table.

"So, Ruby," Darcy began. "How was your time in New York?"

"Oh it was just delightful! I met the most charming people!" she crooned. She went on to tell us about meeting John D. Rockefeller and his grand business ventures.

Oh Ruby, she never changes, I thought with a smile.

"Ruby, your stories never cease to be… diverting," Darcy said, unimpressed with her chattering.

I looked at Darcy incredulously.

"Why thank you Darcy," she smiled sweetly. "I must admit the people I meet are exciting. I wish I could say the same about the medical association. The people Julia introduce me to are always so stuffy and self-absorbed in what good deeds they are doing."

I could tell that Darcy's backhanded compliment didn't escape her notice and she was not going to let him belittle her work or her friends.

"Really, Ruby, I would think that doctors and medical professionals would be far more interesting because they help people rather than those who are just out to make a dollar," he said, his temper raising.

"Darcy," I started, astonished. "Ruby's line of work is completely different from ours and cannot be compared. The people she meets have obviously done a great deal of good for the American economy."

"And the artists, authors, members of royalty, and other notorious names that she's associated with?" he replied to me, yet still staring at Ruby. "What about the reputation of her family? Has that not been an issue?"

Ruby puffed out her chest at his remark and while I knew Darcy had never been particularly fond of Ruby and she of him, I never thought he would go this far. Yet, I could also tell that it wasn't just Ruby's actions that were making him say these things. He was hurt that I had rejected him and now that I thought about it, he had been drinking more than usual. It was a recipe for disaster.

My father stood, his face getting red with fury. "Young man!" he bellowed.

"Father please!" I stopped him. "Darcy, could I please see you in the kitchen for a moment," I said before anyone had a chance to say anything else. I glanced over at Ruby, flames of anger dancing in her eyes.

He followed me in and I turned on my heel, glaring at him.

"What are you doing? How dare you say those things to my sister!" I yelled.

"Julia! How can you say that? You've seen the way she's tainted your family's name, the way she carries on with every man she meets! And the last time I checked you didn't like it either."

"Don't be condescending. What I don't like is that she's always been so carefree and reckless, not her profession. She's a successful journalist and she's my sister, Darcy! I can't believe you! This is despicable and you're drunk," I said angrily.

He grabbed my arm as I turned to leave. "Julia," he breathed.

I cringed at the smell of his breath. "Darcy, you're going to apologize to Ruby or you can leave now," I said sternly, removing his hand from my arm.

"I will not apologize to that whore," he yelled.

My hand connected with his face in a burning slap before I could stop myself. "Get out, now," I growled deeply, shaking in anger.

He stood, stunned that I had slapped him. I turned and stalked out of the room. I went into the parlour where Ruby and my father had moved to and heard the front door slam.

"I'm so sorry for Darcy's behaviour, Ruby. It was unacceptable. I know it's no excuse, but he's drunker than I've ever seen him."

"It's alright, Jules," Ruby said sincerely, having calmed down from her anger. "What I said was unacceptable too. I don't honestly feel that way about your colleagues."

"I know that, Ruby," I said, sitting beside her. "But I'm not forgiving Darcy for what he said. I'm furious!" My fists clenched as hot tears filled my eyes.

"Where is Darcy?" Ruby asked.

"I told him to leave. I don't want to talk to him or look at him."

"Thank you, Jules," Ruby said gently, taking my hand. "I appreciate you sticking up for me, like you always have when I'm in a fix."

"Don't be silly, Ruby, you're my sister and despite our differences, I love you and I always have and always will."

She hugged me and said goodnight, retiring to her room.

I sat on the edge of the couch and put my head in my hands.

"Are you alright, Julia?" My father's calm voice drifted toward me.

"I just don't understand what's gotten into him," I replied, not looking up. "I've never seen him this way before."

I felt his hand gently rest on my shoulder. "Are things all right with you and Darcy, Julia? I get the sense that things aren't going well."

"I don't know, Father," I said, exasperatedly, trying to avoid the truth. I looked at him and tears welled up again.

"No," I choked out. "We're fighting more and I avoid him more than I want to see him and I'm so unhappy." I started to sob and he kept his hand on my back, rubbing it occasionally in comfort.

"I know we haven't been on very close terms, Julia, but as your father, I feel I must say something. Ruby has often talked about you and this Detective you work with," he said hesitantly.

I looked up at him and opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't, whether from shock that he was bringing the subject up or that Ruby had told him. I shouldn't have been surprised though. Ruby was hardly known for her discretion.

"She has told me about the way you two look at each other and how close of friends you've been."

I looked down, not denying anything he was saying. It would have been foolish to do so as I knew my father wouldn't believe me anyway. Despite our distance, he was still my father.

"Do you still have feelings for him, Julia?" he said bluntly.

I was shocked at my father's question. Never before had we discussed something so personal. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze as he watched me intently, waiting for my answer. But I couldn't answer. Instead I started to cry again, unable to handle all of this emotion and that was all the answer my father needed.

"I know why you married Darcy," he stated. "And I know that you loved him when you did marry, but from what I have heard and seen, you two don't understand one another. You're too busy trying to compete with each other's minds then mold them together. You have a decision to make, daughter."

He kissed the top of my head and went upstairs without another word. It was hardly a heartfelt talk, but behind his stony façade, there was something there.

What a horrible Christmas this was turning out to be. I went upstairs and brought down the presents I had bought earlier that day. Perhaps wrapping them would calm me down. I pulled out Darcy's gift and looked at it, remembering the awful things he had said about Ruby and put it aside. I pulled out the two-volume set I had bought for William and thought about how happy he would be with it and I found myself smiling. As I held the books, I could no longer keep telling myself that what I felt for William was just friendship anymore and that it would go away in time. That wasn't going to happen and while I had loved Darcy once, I had always loved William. I started wrapping the books and decided I would give them to him tomorrow.

I continued wrapping until all the presents were nestled under the now decorated tree and went upstairs to bed, carrying William's books with me. I placed them on the dressing table, got ready for bed and then settled down against my pillow. As I thought of seeing William tomorrow, I fell asleep, dreaming sweet dreams once again.