AN: I'm soo goddam tired. I'm so damn busy recently. No time for this guys, sorry but the chapters will be coming out a lot slower. Should be a little faster now that the massive wave of tests and whatnot are over, but I'm still playing a sport so well, I'm dead tired when I get home so it's hard to juggle everything. Anyway, I guess you guys didn't really like the last chapter. I read it too and I can see where all you are coming from. Wasn't my best. Well, enough ranting now, most of you probably aren't reading this. So I'll tell you a secret hint just for those of you that are psst: the only reason I know most people don't read this is because I don't either. What a hypocrite I am.

Disclaimer: You know, if you read this for the joke, then at least read the AN too. Even if you don't care about my life (Which you don't). I don't own (excuse my language) jack shit.

"LOAD!..."

"FIRE!"

BOOM!

Naruto was really hyped. Like, really, really hyped. He could of sworn to the log that they'd been out on the high seas for at least a month. Seeing land now, how could he not be hyped? He was so hyped, in fact, that he was doing something that his old buddy Rock Lee might do. He was rowing a rowboat, as hard as he could, which was pushing 90 miles per hour (about 150kph, non-americans). He was rapidly approaching the island. He could almost feel it; he knew that it was there. Solid ground. Something that didn't give away under his feet and swing back in forth just the right way to make him sick. It would be a glorious moment that-

BOOM!

"What the Hell!?" Naruto screamed, turning around to see the large tower of water erupting in a white fountain behind him. That was definitely an underwater explosion. Turning back around, the blonde was met by yet another surprise. A large, red, round surprise that hit him very hard. The surprise then exploded, sending flying Naruto sky-high.

"Ow… Damn, that hurt, It's been a while since that kinda crap happened to me…" Naruto complained, rubbing his blacked stomach. Well, he was burned. He was fine, his regeneration was second to none. But his clothes regeneration… were second to a lot of things. Looking down at himself, he saw that he was missing everything except his very singed, black sweatpants and the tatters that were his now black, originally orange shirt.

Frowning, Naruto whined "Aw, crap my cloak is gone. What the hell, that was nice… I only got it about week ago…"

All that was left of his cloak was a small ring around his neck where the collar used to be.

Naruto eyed the Island under him as air flew by his head pushing his hair back. Thanks to whatever blew him up, he had gained a birds eye view of the entire island. He didn't have a sharingan, damn that thing, but he could still remember a thing or two. Especially the dozen cannons that circled a circus tent of all things, and a town looking like it was shot a few times. Jeez though, they looked like toys. Even smaller, actually. He must be really high. Speaking of which…

"Fuuton: Joushokiryuu no jutsu!"

The wind whistled in his ears as a large burst of air from below blasted his body upward, slightly slowing his decent. He slowed, and then- he stopped. Then he started to go down again.

"Fuuton! Joushokiryuu no jutsu!"

The wind once again whistled through his ears and violently ruffled his hair as the powerful updraft pushed his body upward against gravity. Naruto looked down. Nothing really seemed closer. He was still a good three thousand feet in the air. Had he gotten higher? It was hard to tell.

"This is going to take a while…"

"Ugh… Dammit Naruto, what the hell!" Sasuke screamed at the sky, pissed off. Believe it or not, skidding on water at 90 mph while making sure a screaming banshee didn't die by acting as it's personal cushion was not his idea of fun. He definitely got a few nasty bruises, and if wasn't for them, then he would still be feeling them pretty bad. On the bright side though, the banshee was a pretty girl, and she did have nice boobs. Hey, just because he wasn't Naruto didn't mean he wasn't a guy. It just meant he didn't go around expressing the fact. And on the even brighter side, he was still holding said girl because they were on water, and only he could walk on water and the said girl didn't want to swim.

"Does… does Naruto do that every time he sees shore after a long trip?" Nami, who had finally stopped screaming and panicking like crazy, asked, dreading the answer.

Sasuke sighed. He guessed she may have picked up on that fact. Which was unfortunate. He'd much rather her be oblivious to this.

"Yes."

'Short and curt, short and curt. That's how your brother did it Sasuke, and he was pretty bad ass except the killing your entire family thing.' Sasuke told himself, putting on a mask of emotionlessness. He couldn't pull it off as well as his brother, but he thought he was pretty good.

"NOOO! You've got to be kidding me! There's no way I can survive! And we're stranded on the middle of the ocean!" Nami screamed, interrupting the ninja's inner monologue.

"You'll get used to it." Sasuke replied, trying to get the girl to stop butchering his eardrums. Surprisingly, it worked. Sort of. Now Nami was screaming so loud that he could no longer feel his eardrums, and therefore, didn't matter if the banshee was screaming. Sauske peered at the horizon. Thank fully, the glaring sun was behind him, so he didn't have to burn his eyes out by trying to look that way. It was still really bright though, because of all the sunlight reflecting off of the water. The Island was pretty far away. This walk was going to take… two hours, thirty-six minutes and forty-two seconds. Approximately.

Well, he thought he was closer. Probably. He let himself fall far enough, right? The island looked a little bigger now he could make out that big building. kinda. Could he? He squinted at the island as wind and a giant orange beak rushed past his head.

"Oof!"

The hell? Oh great, a giant bird hit him. How lucky he was today. Well, whatever, hell just-

"AHHHH!"

Naruto looked up just in time to see a straw hat, which subsequently smacked into his face, sending him shooting down to earth with whatever hit him.

"Ugh… oh crap! I hit someone!"

"Yeah, no shit kid… you hit me really hard. " Naruto groaned clutching his pounding head that he had landed on while crawling out of the crater that he had created in the cobble lined street.

"Uhh… you're alive."

Well, yes, of course he was alive. He was Naruto , he wasn't going to die just cause a thousand or so feet of gathering momentum before eating dirt. He was fine. But…

"Kid, how are you alive?" He asked back, peering at the teen. Then he recognized him. "Wait… you're that kid from back with the time I was stealing stuff from pirates!" he stated, pointing an accusing finger at the straw hat that he had on, "You're name was… umm… Luffy! Yeah that's it."

"Yup! Good to know people recognize me! Does this mean I'm famous?" the boy was celebrating his new found celebrity status through the use of a series of fist pumps and jumps. Naruto wondered that perhaps the fall had rendered the boy stupid. Speaking of which…

"Hey kid… are you a devil fruit user?" Naruto asked, narrowing his eyes at the teen. It seemed likely; most people couldn't survive falls that big and barely get hurt.

A massive grin spread across Luffy's face as he nodded and said, "I ate the gomu-gomu no mi! I'm a gomu-guy!"

Luffy proved this by grabbing his own cheek and stretching it to the point of it being impossible by any normal standards. That explained things.

"What are you doing here? Actually, what were you doing really high in the air?" Naruto pressed, genuinely curious. It wasn't every day that he found someone this interesting. Ugh, describing someone as interesting made him feel like Orochimaru.

"Well, I was sailing, and I was really really hungry because there wasn't anything to eat, right? So I see this big bird flying around, so I try to catch it by gomu-gomu onto it. It didn't come down, so I was carried all the way here!" Luffy explained, laughing.

In the face of the laughing teenager, who could now be clearly identified as some kind of moron, Naruto could only sweat drop. People called him an idiot when he was a kid. What they would think of this one, he didn't want to know.

Now, if he were any other person, he would just think that the teen was trying to screw with him, and not take him seriously. However, the blonde knew his own kind, even if some were slightly more stupid than others.

"Hey you! You two that just fell from the sky! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Some guy looking astonishingly like a grunt said, intruding on their conversation. Two other even more grunty looking guys walked up behind him, holding almost comically large bats.

"Are you the guys that shot big, giant, red cannon balls stuffed with explosives as me?" Naruto asked, friendly. It wouldn't do if he ended up glaring at the wrong person would it?

"If you were whatever was flying at this island really fast, then, yeah. Hit you real hard, didn't I?" Grunt number 1 said, with a smug look on his face, moments before a very important fact registered in the grunt's grunt sized brain.

"Y-you aren't dead…" the grunt looked confused now as his grunt sized brain had not yet figured out the fact that he was talking to someone unimaginably far out of his league (the grunty league).

"No, but some of my clothes are…" Naruto yelled him, now pissed at the grunt. This intimidated the grunt a little, but as they say, it is a fine line between bravery and stupidity. The grunt let out a rather grunty grunt, and as he had recognized the blonde guy as an enemy, charged him.

Naruto sighed. Some people are stupid enough to charge. Really, even he got out of that habit pretty quickly. Only took him like ten years to figure out that was dumb. Grunty was slow too. Wait a few moments, duck a few centimeters under grunty's wide over shot swing at his head – perfect. The grunt goes stumbling from the momentum of his own swing, and all he has to do is flick him in the right spot. Flick, and he face slams a brick wall. His life was getting a little too boring. He barely noticed himself knocking the two other grunts. He couldn't even get his anger out like that. Whoever shot him was going to pay.

"Hey, you're pretty strong."

Naruto turned around to face the teen that literally brought him down to earth.

"Uhh, thanks I guess," He said, sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. He still hadn't gotten used to people complimenting him. Hanging around Sasuke didn't help much.

"I haven't introduced myself, have I? Well, I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto declared, triumphantly. Surly even the moron had heard of the name, he was a legend! His name should be known for at least a few centuries.

"Well, Naruto, you're in my crew!" Luffy stated, completely ignoring all of Naruto's splendid bravado.

"You've never heard of me..?" The no longer legend trailed before what Luffy had said registered in his brain. "Wait, what? No I'm not in your crew. Who said that?"

"Me." It was a very simple answer to his question. But it was not enough for the blonde.

"What makes me want to be in your crew? I have things to do and I'm busy, so I don't have time. And plus, isn't the captain supposed to be stronger than the rest of the crew?" Naruto shot back. He wanted to go beat the person that blew him into the sky and vent. Not that Luffy was a bad person; he seemed a better person than most pirates.

"So will you be in my crew if I beat you?" Naruto was walking away, but at that comment, he turned and looked back.

"Yeah, sure. I kind of have to then, don't I." Naruto chuckled, raising his eyebrow.. He turned back and started to walk again, but he barely got two steps in before his instincts told him to dodge. Apparently this teen didn't have much patience.

Naruto leaned his head to the side and let the fist zoom straight past him. The kid really wasn't lying when he said he could stretch. That arm was probably 40 feet long. But that wouldn't make much of a difference. Naruto grabbed the elongated arm, and just like predicted, the boy came flying at him as his arm snapped back to its original length. Naruto used Luffy's momentum to slam his forehead into the teens. Head butting was always one of his favorites after beating Garra with it.

As Luffy was dazed from the massive blow that he had just been on the receiving end of, Naruto pinned him to the ground. Naruto grinned menacingly into Luffy's face as he growled:

"It's all over for you now."

Man, he was bored. It had been kind of funny watching Naruto get blown into the sky by something and brought back down by another something, but that only gave him a few minutes of entertainment. Even the girl who was in his arms decided to get on his back instead, and she was still to freaked out to make much conversation. If only he could talk to someone…

Plop, plop, plop…

That was the sound of a rowboat. He didn't know what kind of person other then them would go around on the sea in a rowboat, but if they let him on, then maybe he could at least take a nap to pass the time. If they didn't let him on, then the results would be the same, so it was a win-win for him. But he couldn't be caught walking on water…

"Kuchiyose: Kawarimi no jutsu!" Sasuke said, summoning a log and standing on it.

"Where did that come from!?" The girl on his back said. She sounded like she was going to freak out again, so Sasuke calmed her down.

"Don't worry, it's from a reputable distributer." Surly that should calm her down.

"Huh? What distributer?" Nami said, looking around. She would not find any.

Ignoring her, Sasuke looked around until he spotted the rowboat headed their way. After a short while, the rowboat got close enough to see well. It was just a small dinghy, nothing that should be taken into any rough areas of the ocean There were three men in the rowboat, two with bruised, swollen faces, and one green haired guy taking a nap toward the stern of the boat.

"Hey, wanna give us a ride? We got stranded." Sasuke called, trying to sound friendly. He did not sound friendly.

The green haired guy cracked open one eye and eyed them. Sasuke could tell that the man was at least somewhat dangerous. Perhaps not to him, but Sasuke was proud of his ability to pick out the skilled and talented. It probably had something to do with his sharingan. It seemed that the green haired guy could tell that he was dangerous as well. Well, he was really dangerous, after all. So dangerous, in fact, that whether he knew that was dangerous or not didn't matter. Maybe the green haired guy knew this, because he nodded and the boat started turned toward them.

The boat was slow. It was about as fast as he would walk, but at least it was relaxing. Turns out, the green haired guy wasn't much for talking. He was Sasuke's kind of guy. They hadn't spoken one word and he liked him already, though that was the reason that he liked him already. The girl was finally quiet, thank the log, and he could take a nap. Life was good.

"Stop! Stop it! AAAAh! Stop it I'm gonna pee!" Luffy cries echoed in between stone walls of the buildings that lined the stone street on which Naruto had Luffy pinned to. Naruto was currently torturing Luffy in both his and his mentor's favorite method. Luffy's cry continued to ring as Naruto tickled Luffy's stomach with a feather.

"Really, Stop, I'm going to pee!" Luffy forced out in between the gasping laughs. Naruto figured he'd had enough to never mess with him again. Naruto had younger boy pinned to the ground where he had been tickling him for the last ten minutes.

"Admit your Defeat!" Naruto told him in a dark and ominous manner.

"Never!" he gasped, but after facing a particularly intense round of tickling, "- ok, ok stop! I admit my defeat! I admit my defeat!"

The blonde nodded his grinning face and he stood up off a panting Luffy, who laid exhausted on the ground.

- and cut! I'm gonna stop it here. Those of you who've watched this episode probable know who that is. First, I have to apologize (?) for taking so long. Freaking high school is a shit ton of work. I literally spent the better half of an year doing this one chapter. So no, it is not on haitus, but it'll just go slow. Don't expect anything too, soon, I'm not that much of a writer or a productive person in general. Please do voice your opinion in the reviews down there, because that is the sole motivation of me doing this.