Chapter Seven: In Which Apple is a Joke

"Ha ha! Oh Apple, you have such a droll sense of humor!"

"Seriously, what DO you do to become queen?"

"Wait, you're serious?"

"You're NOT kidding?"

"You've gotta be kidding."

"Seriously?"

"Oh. My. Poseidon."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

"Indubitably."

"You just wait around for some random prince to kiss you?"

"That's it?!"

"That's so lame!"

"You want your old roommate to kill you?"

"Just because you're pretty?"

"What kind of reason is that?!"

"I don't know whose part is dumber; the queen's or the princess's."

"I say the prince: who goes around kissing dead girls?"

"It's most undignified."

"Why would you want to relive that?!"


Prior to this, Apple felt that Legacy Day was the worst day in her otherwise charmed life. Today was far worse. Her heart shattered in her chest when she heard the other princes and princesses ridicule her beloved story. Their harsh words echoed in her head and she felt as though she was having a nightmare.

Maybe Raven will wake me up, she desperately thought. And I'll safe in my own bed!

No such luck. The critical Mermish royals were very real and very repulsed by Apple's tale.

Apple abandoned all her dignity and swam out of the classroom as fast as she could.

"Wait Apple!" Percy called after her.

But she didn't stop. She had to find Aiden and beg her to send her home!


Unfortunately, Apple White bumped into the "faux princesses" instead.

"Oh look girls." Odessa airily remarked. "It's our new friend Apple White."

"Best friends forever-after!" Angela mocked.

"Why?!" Apple demanded through her tears. "Why did you trick me?!"

"Cause it's fun!" Said Portia, as if that explained everything.

"And we wanted to test my theory." Oddessa said coolly.

"What theory?" Apple asked.

"That anyone who wears trash on her head can't have much inside it." She smirked. She leaned in close: "Listen up, wannabe. The queen may have seven kids, but WE rule these halls. Don't go crying to the headmistress."

"Not that Mumsy will believe you, of course," Angela sneered.

"Yeah, we'll always be her widdle Angelfish!" Chimed in Portia.

"MUMSY?!" Exclaimed Apple.

"Yeah, what can your mommy do?" Odessa challenged.


Apple's day became even more unbearable when she realized that Aiden couldn't send her home right away; Aiden taught at the university during the afternoons. And when Aiden came to pick Apple up from school at three o'clock, she refused to send Apple back period. She was kind about Apple's various misfortunes, but she was also firm: Apple had to finish what she started. Aiden insisted that it was for the best and that Apple's mother would be very disappointed in her if she gave up this quickly. Furthermore, Aiden refused to magically punish the Finley-Starrs.

"They'll get their comeuppance in the end." She said.

"I'M at the end of my rope!" Apple bitterly thought. All she could do was lock herself in her room and cry. How could such a good idea go so badly?! She lamented.

A faint whistle broke through Apple's misery. She looked around, and found that Maddie's teapot was steaming. She inspected more closely and discovered that it now contained fragrant cinnamon-apple tea.

Tea at the bottom of the sea? How is this even possible? Apple wondered. Then she smiled faintly as she remembered that it was a Wonderland teapot. It defied all rules of magic and physics.

Thank you, Maddie. She thought as she poured herself a cup. It was just what she needed now.


The rest of Apple's first week at Atlantis Academy was just as bad. The story of Mr. Squishy-Bongles spread and she was the laughingstock of the school.

Apple tried to feign illness once, but Aiden wasn't fooled. At one point, Aiden literally had to lasso Apple with a rainbow to drag her through the portal in the morning. Sometimes Apple wondered if Aiden wasn't really a wicked sorceress who was out to get her.

But even at her angriest, Apple had to admit that Aiden's insistence wasn't nearly as bad as the Finley-Starr sisters' teasing. Or the royal children's various attitudes toward her.

Julia was polite when necessary, but generally avoided her. Atticus completely ignored her. Liara treated her with barely disguised contempt. The twins, who seemed to agree on little else, agreed that Apple was fascinatingly idiotic and discussed this at length with their friends. And Sep couldn't resist making mischievous kissy-faces and whispering "Oh, Prince Squishy-Bongles!" whenever she swam by.

Only Percy tried to talk to her, but she rejected his attempts. She assumed he just would reject her like everybody else.


At the end of the week, Percy finally managed to have a private word with Apple.

"Apple! Come out of there! Please?"

"No!" Apple shouted. She felt safe inside the school clock tower. No one could make fun of her there. At least not until Percy showed up.

"Just hear me out, 'kay?"

"NO!"

"You do realize there's a squid nesting in there, right? And you do know that squid stains don't come out?"

"WHAT?!" Shrieked Apple. She immediately bolted from her hiding place.

"Well, actually they do come out, but as long you're out, can we talk?"

Apple scowled. She should have remembered how Roland was able to clean up after Toby's mess. Might as well get this over with, she thought, crossing her arms.

"What?" She said sulkily.

"I wanted to say sorry. Mostly for how I acted, but for my brothers and sisters too, even if they won't do it themselves. None of us were tactful and it's clear your family story means a lot to you. I don't pretend to understand it, but it's your custom, and I can't judge you for it. I hope you can forgive me."

Apple was deeply touched by this sincere apology. "Thank you Percy." She said. "I don't understand why everyone dislikes my story so much." She added sadly.

"I won't lie, it's a pretty weird way of becoming queen." Apple looked at him sharply. "For us, anyway." He amended.

"And what does Julia have to do to become queen?" Apple asked touchily.

"Who says Julia's going to be queen?"