"So!" tony started enthusiastically as he scanned his eyes around the kitchen table of the communal floor of the avenger's tower. Janet looked enthused but still suspicious of what would fall out of Tony's mouth next, Thor wasn't paying as much attention to tony as he was his morning coffee, and Clint was in a similar position, Natasha looked unphased as she took a bite of her bagel, Bruce looked exhaustedly in Tony's general direction and cap was, as usual in the gym, "new news on the Capsicle front," this got Natasha and Janet's full attention, "yours truly saw agent 13 and Steve lip-locked before Sharon left for her latest mission."

"WHAT?!" the so called, winsome wasp, was the most shocked amongst all the surprised faces and even Thor who now cleaned his mouth after choking on his coffee and Nat who had done something similar and was now regretting taking another bite before tony had spread the news.

"hey! Pay up! The majority of you owe me twenty bucks!" Janet exclaimed as she thought of with shoes she was going to buy with her new screw-you-money.

Bruce sheepishly handed two bills to Jan as did Natasha and a reluctant tony.

"Fuck no." Clint said like a school girl getting caught up on the latest gossip rather than an almost thirty year old man. "I thought he wasn't gunna get into dating crap until he could fully understand modern shit, like selfies and starbucks."

"Apparently not." Natasha said with slight enthusiasm still trying to recover being almost strangled by a bread circle.

"What are we supposed to do with said information?" Thor's now nonchalant voice boomed after which he ate almost half of his strawberry pop tart in one bite.

"Black mail of course." Tony said with an implied 'duh'

"That's low." Natasha voice was rather serious as she thought of what might happen if, whatever her and Clint's relationship should be called, got out.

"Regardless I think it's nice he found a girl. Especially so lovely and intelligent." Bruce said sheepishly from the blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders.

"So was it just kissing or more than that?" Janet asked clearly intrigued as she leaned in closer to the table, now hovering over her iced coffee and cereal.

"I hadn't kissed like that until I was in college." Tony relied cutting his waffle.

Janet's face reared back and her eyebrows sank down. "Trying to get that image out of my head." She muttered to herself as he tucked a stand of reddish brown hair behind her ear.

"We made out when we were dating and you didn't seem to mind." Tony replied playfully.

"And you tasted like Zima, pennies, bad spinach and shame but that's beside the point." Janet countered remembering the two weeks her and stark were a 'thing' until she finally ended it when she found out he was really iron man. Or rather iron man was really him.

"Wait. What?!" Natasha's eyes were half covered by her eyebrows but were stilled bugged out in disbelief.

"Eww." Clint said simply.

"I know right." Jan replied half giggling as she lifted her hand off her lap to reveal her thumb and pointer finger around two inches apart for about a second and a half before tony slapped it away.

Thor's thunderous laugh shook the table, and drown out everyone else's laughter as he slapped his knee, "it's a joke pointed towards is unusually small-"

"How did this conversation get pointed at me?! I thought we were talking about Steve using his lips for something other than eating and lectures on fucking moral fiber!"

"He should be lecturing you on genital fiber." Quipped the always witty Hawkeye, just under his breath enough for Natasha (to his left) and Bruce (to his right) to hear.

"GGGaaahhhh! The question is do we tell Coulson?"

The kitchen filled with 'no's'. Just as Steve, in a tight under armor shirt and sweat pants (witch Janet wished he would wear more often) entered the room to see everyone at the table, which is an awfully suspicious sight amongst the team.

"So. What are we talking about?" Steve asked slowly, hoping tony had kept what he saw to himself.

"Tony's tiny dick!" Janet announced loud enough to be heard over the abundance of murmurs.

Steve blushed and rubbed the back of his neck as he walked out the door deciding that breakfast could wait and he could get dressed now and mumbled to himself " and I get picked on for 'supposedly' being a virgin. Sure."