Author: I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update, I've been through a very hard time. I hope you still want to know what happens with Peyton! I don't own OTH or any of its characters, but you already knew it…
He doesn't hit me. Instead, he sighs deeply and looks away. Then he stares into my eyes and nods slowly.
-Ok, I guess it could be mine… Or maybe not, but we still can be a family, or, well, kind of.
Well, that's totally unexpected. I smile and kiss him once. I didn't really believe that he would accept, so this has been a nice surprise. Suddenly, I am thrilled about our future. I don't want to screw it up, but there's a point that I really want to make clear.
-You know there are certain things that must change… We'll need to save money, and those people who are always coming 'round…
-Yeah, yeah, I know… I guess we can try-he says in a surprisingly confident voice. His mood seems to be improving as he speaks-We'll have to buy many things and…oh, wait, is it a boy or a girl?
-It's not possible to know it yet-I say, hugging him. For the first time in months, I feel the embrace of the man I fell in love with.
*******
Two weeks have passed since the day I told Kyle I was pregnant, and I couldn't be happier. I love sitting in the sofa next to Kyle and humming a lullaby for the bay. Kyle laughs and says the baby cannot hear it, but I think he's wrong. Kyle has found a job in a petrol station. We won't be rich, but it's good enough. Obviously, I know we need time to change our 'habits', but we're trying hard. I haven't used any drug since I knew I was pregnant, and, though the cold turkey is giving me a really hard time, the feeling of my baby growing inside of me gives me the strength I need. I think it would be a good idea to take some vitamins, so I open the drawer where we keep the money and look for some bucks. Suddenly, I have a weird feeling. I would have sworn that we had more money in the drawer… Ok, maybe I'm wrong. I don't usually count it, so I cannot say it for sure, but I have the impression that there used to be more notes. Anyway, just before closing the drawer, I count the money. It's not that I don't trust Kyle, it's just… Well, I need to be sure. I go to the shop and buy some food and the vitamins.
Back home, I hear the phone.
-Babe, it's me. Listen, I won't be at home for dinner. I've met this friend of mine, I hadn't seen him for a long time, we used to go to buy drugs together…
-What?!!
-No, no, it's not what you think. He's clean now, and I think he may have quite a good piece of advice to share… We'll go for a drink in the club, but I won't be late, right?
I doubt for a second, but then I think he's trying so hard to change, and it can be a good idea to speak with someone who's been through it…
-Yeah, fine. See you later, then.
When he comes home, it's quite later than I expected, but he seems to have enjoyed, so I don't think much about it.
****
Today, I have visited Dr. Robinson. He says we soon will be able to know if my baby is a boy or a girl. Walking home, I think that I would love to have a baby girl. I mean, as long as the baby is healthy, I'm happy enough, but I've always thought it would be wonderful to have a daughter. I always thought that, if I had a daughter, I would name her Brooke, just like the girl who used to be my best friend in other life, but that name doesn't mean much to me right now, it's just a memory. Now, I would call her Angela, because I feel her like an angel that has come to rescue me from the dark hole where I was falling. Yeah, she will be my sweet, little angel...
When I approach our building, I see a guy I think I've seen before. Perhaps he lives in the neighbourhood, because I'm pretty sure I know his face.
I get home. Kyle is lying on the sofa. At the beginning, I think he's asleep, but when I come closer, I notice his eyes are partially open. He has a silly expression on his face, and makes a soft sound, like giggling in a quiet voice or something. I've seen him high many times, and I recognize the signs easily. I remember who the guy I've just passed on the street is. He has been in some of our parties. I run to the bedroom. The drawer where we are supposed to keep themoney is almost empty. The fucking bastard has used our money to buy his fucking drugs!
Ok, I need to think. First, I phone Michelle, a very nice girl who works in the club we usually go, where I used to work. I ask her if Kyle was there last night.
-Yes, he came around with that Rodney fella. Girl, I think that guy used to be a drug dealer or something. He used to come and sell his shit. I hadn't seen him for some time.
-Did they… did they buy something?
-Yep, I think so. I was very surprised when I saw them talking to Theo, you know, the dealer… I thought Kyle was kinda clean or something, but Theo said they bought cocaine, Rodney paid for everything. He said he wanted to pay for Kyle, since last time Kyle had paid for both of them.
-Last time? Kyle said they hadn't met for a long time, how can Rodney remember what happened then?
-No idea. Is everything OK? Well, I guess it isn't. You worried that Kyle is…? Listen up, I will ask Theo and I'll tell you if he knows something…
-Thanks, Michelle. I need to know it as soon as possible… Bye.
I walk nervously around the room, waiting for Michelle to call. After forty minutes or so, I hear the phone.
-Michelle?
-Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry, Theo was very busy, it took me ages to find him. Look, Peyton, I don't know how to say this… Theo says Kyle has been buying some stuff. Two or three days ago, he bought cocaine for him and for Rodney. I'm so sorry. If I had seen him I would have told you before…
-Yeah, it's…Ok, I… I… Well, thanks Michelle.
I hang up the phone horrified. He has been lying and stealing the money we are trying to save for the baby. I've been living in a fantasy, it was all a lie. How could I be so stupid? I should have seen it…
I go back to the bedroom and put some personal items in my bag. I cannot carry many things, anyway. I open a drawer and take my mobile phone –though I haven't switched it on for ages- and its battery charger. I have to leave, and I need to be quick. I thought he had changed, and he hadn't. But I have. Now I can clearly see that I need to go somewhere else, not only for me, but for my unborn child. I don't know where I could go, but I think I deserve better… I take the money left in the drawer and go out. When I come into the living-room, he's not on the sofa anymore, but stands on his feet and looks at me puzzled.
-I thought you'd come back later…
I say nothing and go to the door. When I'm in the staircase, I hear his voice, but he's not able to speak properly.
-Where you goin'…
I ignore him but he is too near and grabs my arm.
-Don't touch me, you filthy liar! You can stay there with your fucking drugs, I hope you enjoy them until they kill you-I shout, and try to go.
-What you have in the bag? You stealing me money, bitch?-he still speaks in that weird way, it's pretty high, but he's still stronger than me. He tries to grab my bag, and when I try to put it away, he pushes me. The floor disappears under my feet as I fly above the stairs. I land with a loud noise, and fear comes to me immediately. I grab my tummy in horrible pain and I feel my pants getting wet. I think I hear Kyle's voice, but it seems to come from very far away… It reminds me of a feeling I have already experienced… Long ago, when I was underwater and I was about to die… And, as it happened then, I see the world disappearing around me.
I feel cold, and I imagine a baby face, the face of my sweet, little angel, my baby girl, before closing my eyes, thinking that they won't be open again.
