Disclaimer: Inuyasha is someone else's property. Which means, if I stole it, I'd be arrested. Do you know how long I would last in jail? That's correct: 0 seconds.
Fat Finley, the true name of O.C. (well, okay, without the fat part. unless you're one of her classmates), scurried (or, technically, rolled) away from Inuyasha and the others when it was clear that she had been discovered.
"AFTER HER!" Inuyasha rallied the rest of the cast while jumping in front of Finley.
"SMOKESCREEN!" Finley roared, opening her mouth wide. She burped loudly, a nasty, foul-smelling giant smoke column coming out of her mouth. While everyone attempted to make their way out, Finley ran away as fast as her tree trunk-thick legs could carry her. When the smoke cleared at long last, Kagome, Miroku, Sango and her mangy little cat, Jaken, Rin, and Shithead Shippo were fine. Grossed out, but fine. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, however, were vomiting.
"What's wrong with you guys?" Kagome bitched at the two demons.
"It's the smoke! We can't stand the smell!" Inuyasha shouted, in between coughs.
"Well, get over it, we need you to find Finley!" Miroku told them, unable to care for their plight.
"As long as this smell lingers, we're trapped. It's too strong, we've been paralyzed." Sesshomaru said calmly before vomiting again.
"FINE! I hate you weak jerks! Come on, guys." Kagome pouted, the others following her... also pouting. Meanwhile, Finley was hiding not all that far away, behind a tree.
"I'm going to have to make a new disguise." Finley whispered to herself. "The only problem is, it takes me months to come up with a good one! Oohhh, and I need FRITOS and COKE before I can fuel my creativity."
Suddenly, a fart. "Ohh, I need to shit!" Finley complained. (I'm so sorry I had to type that last part. Can you ever forgive me?)
Anyways, Kagome and the others followed Finley's gigantic footsteps. They figured out pretty easily that they were Finley's footsteps, because each footstep has a small amount of cat crap in it due to Finley's mom being a crazy old neighborhood cat lady. But, they soon realized that Finley had thwarted them after all by running in a bunch of different directions, thus causing the cast to lose track of her actual direction.
"Hey, I think I've found a pattern!" Kagome announced to the others after a few minutes.
"What pattern?" asked Sango.
"Well, every once in a while, a pile of vomit is laying around. Probably because all this running has caused her to lose several of her lunches. We must follow the puke!" Kagome explained. So she proceeded to follow the puke. The others joined her in following the puke. The puke. The puke. The goddamn puke.
After a few minutes of following the puke, the puke, the puke, they started to notice that Finley's two-inch deep footsteps each contain a strange amount of water.
"Why are her footsteps all full of water?" Shippo asked.
"That's not water." Miroku told the fox demon kid in a very shaky voice.
"Well, what in the world is it? It smells really nasty!" Rin pointed out.
"It's SWEAT!" screamed Miroku, who was not very far from having a nervous breakdown by this point. "Finley has SWEAT the equivalent of half the Pacific Ocean, vomited the other half, and almost changed the whole topography of Japan by RUNNING AROUND! This girl is easily the most disgustingly overweight human being that has ever existed!" Miroku declared, holding his nose. "Now, let's look for her, no matter how hard we want to stay away from her!"
So the search continued. After following the VERY SWEATY VOMIT COATED DINOSAURISH FOOTPRINTS for several more unbearable seconds, they came across her. She was sitting on top of a tree, soaking wet from sweating profusely. The branch she was awkwardly seated on was almost broken, but she was at the base of the branch so the poor thing still barely held onto the tree it branched from (lol pun).
"Get out of there and face your consequences!" Kagome ordered Finley.
"No, you're a bitch!" Finley shouted back, sticking her tongue out and nearly blinding everyone looking at her with said tongue in the process.
"How did she even get up there?" Shippo wondered aloud.
Finley smiled a camera and mirror shattering smile. "If you must know, cute widdle fox demon, I farted and it propelled me up here!"
"EEEEWWWWW!" Everyone exclaimed all at once.
"We'll climb this rope up there!" Miroku warned her.
"Go ahead, I bet you can't!"
Miroku grabbed the rope and it promptly fell apart.
"HA HA!" Finley mocked the traumatized monk. "You fell for my trap!"
"Oh... my dear God." Miroku said with a look in his eyes like his entire soul had just been shredded.
"What is it, Miroku?" Sango asked. Again.
"This rope is made out of SHIT! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! MY HAND IS FULL OF SHIT!" Miroku began to pace around with manic, intense and ever-swelling horror filling his belly. "OH MY GOD! MY ENTIRE PALM IS COVERED IN NASTY SHIT! AND SHE LUBRICATED THE MOTHERFUCKING ROPE IN PISS! AHGGHHGHGHGGHGH!"
Miroku made a beeline for the nearest lake.
"Miroku, are you going to get her out of the tree?" Jaken hollered after him.
"No, fuck it! I don't care whether we get her or not, I quit!" Miroku yelled over his shoulder.
Laughing, the dastardly Finley jumped out of the tree, hitting the ground hard, and started running. Kagome and the others started to run after her... and it was then that they noticed the ground was cracking up.
TO BE CONTINUED!
