Jeez, has it really been this long since I've updated? Wow, I'm falling behind. Sorry for anybody who likes this story. By computer's a piece of… well… let's just say I have a few choice words going through my head…
Alright, there's a bit of one-sided love in this chapter, but it's okay, because that's just me.
Oh, by the way, there isn't much action in this chapter, courtesy of a special request. Sorry to all action lovers.
And sorry if it seems kinda long. But I think all my chapters will be a little bit longer from now on, so oh well.
Enjoy! :)
She dreamt of trees swaying in a breeze that kissed her cheeks like a brush of fingers upon her cheeks. Her violet eyes glittered as the sun leaked through the light leaves, dappling the ground, intruding through the dark patches of shade the draped over her.
A sudden movement caught her eye. She turned, but saw nothing. Yet, she was almost positive she had seen a flash of white through the thick forest.
She didn't really notice when the sun began to fade, but the breeze that had once gently brushed her skin now began to shiver through her flesh. She looked up, and saw the sky beginning to darken. And when she looked around, she realized that not just the sky was darkening, but the forest was darkening as well.
She gave out a strangled squeal as the wind suddenly bit through her, chilling her to the bone. She fell back two steps, and found herself tumbling onto the ground. She closed her eyes and emitted a low moan of pain. But her eyes didn't open back up until moments later. And then she wished she would never have opened them.
The forest was gone, and she was surrounded by black. She choked on her own fear, trying to scramble away. Her arms reached behind her, as her legs kicked away the black.
Suddenly, her hands touched something soft. Something warm. She froze, and closed her eyes, wishing with every fiber that it was something good.
She squeezed her eyes closed, and gasped as a warm hand pressed against her cheek. She could hear a voice, calling her name…
"Rukia?" A voice, both icy yet warm, simpered through her ears, awakening her mind. She flipped her eyes open, and saw Hitsugaya's eyes staring down at her, deep with concern. His turquoise eyes seemed to sear through her, making her shiver.
"You were talking in your sleep." He told her gently. "Are you okay?"
Rukia blinked in embarrassment, automatically wondering what she had said. She pressed herself upright, and turned her gaze to her Captain, feeling her body flinch involuntarily as she remembered…
He probed her with deep eyes, a question beginning to form on his lips again. Rukia mentally shook her head to rid herself of all these thoughts. "I'm fine." She said quietly. "It was just an unsettling dream."
Hitsugaya hesitated beside her, but removed his hand. He looked hard at her, wondering what was really going on. He wondered how effected she would be by yesterday. He found himself wishing he could ensure her safety. He wasn't quite sure how, but he had become inexplicably close to his lieutenant, and now was extremely protective over her.
Still looking thoughtful, he stood. "It's still really early." He told her. "But we'll be setting out soon. Get ready."
Rukia watched as he walked out of the room. As usual, he had unexpectedly secluded himself into his own thoughts. For not the first time, she wished she knew what he was thinking.
Her own mind was now shrouded in thought as she dressed herself and yanked a brush through her mussed hair, stopping every so often to erupt her mouth into a huge yawn. She was beginning to understand why Hitsugaya was so serious and irritable. Getting up at this hour in the morning, with only a stack of paperwork to look forward to, would be enough to turn anyone into a grump.
She cocked her head as she heard knocking on her door. She stepped forward and opened. Hitsugaya waited for her, looking mildly impatient. Yet, Rukia saw that, if she looked closer, her Captain looked tired.
"Are you ready?" He asked. Rukia nodded, but she knew he only slightly saw it. She could tell by the way his eyes were glazed he was off in his own world.
She followed him out the door and through the streets. They were deserted at this hour, as expected.
Unconsciously, the two pressed closer to each other, until their arms started brushing. At first, as their clothes touched, Rukia would flinch away, and mumble an apology. However, after a couple times, she gave up. She tried to divert her thoughts so she wouldn't start blushing, but by the time they got to the office, Rukia was leaning sleepily into her Captain, and he willingly accepted her.
As he led her into the office, Rukia glanced at his face. Veiled in mystery, as usual. She would have felt irritated if she wasn't so exhausted. Despite his far away mind, Hitsugaya gently led Rukia to the couch, allowing her to make herself comfortable.
"Are you cold?" He whispered into her ear. Rukia smiled as small chills ran up her spine, but not because she was cold. She reached forward, and twined her fingers with his. He blinked somewhat in surprise, but then did something he rarely did. He smiled warmly. He crouched down next to the couch, and kissed her deeply.
Rukia felt her heart beat faster, yet her mind seemed to work slower. She felt elated as her lips sunk into his. His grip was slow and soft, and she found herself wondering how such an icy character could touch so gently.
When they broke away, Rukia gaped at him, her eyes tracing every contour of his face. His eyes met hers, with an emotion that evoked something in her that made her heart beat fast.
He suddenly pulled a blanket that he apparently kept under the couch, and wrapped it around her, tucked it underneath her body. He disentangled his fingers from hers, then pressed his lips to her forehead.
"Sleep well." He said warmly, before standing and walking away. Rukia immediately felt a sense of longing as he went to his desk. She curled up, pressed her knees closer to her protruding stomach. She found herself thinking about Ichigo.
She wondered what had exactly happened when she left. Had the change started out slow? Had he asked Orihime or Chad or Ishida for help? Had he fought against the inner hollow, or had his desire to get back Rukia allowed him to simply accept his fate? She hoped that wasn't the case. Even now, she knew that once upon a time, Ichigo was a brave man. Once, he fought to protect Rukia. He would sacrifice himself to keep her safe.
And now, her hands traced her stomach. She remembered the morning sickness, and she smiled when she remembered how Ichigo would hold her hair back as she puked into the toilet. Oh, how she would gently blame him for what was happening to her, and while the memories were sweet, she was struck how she didn't miss him. Once, she would have lay in bed, wishing about what had happened was nonexistent. But now, she was rather happy that she had been forced into this. She would have to remember to thank Byakuya, and perhaps, in the future, she would thank Ichigo for introducing her to Hitsugaya.
Her thoughts turned to the icy man, and she found herself smiling. The last thing she remembered as her mind drifted off to sleep was his smell wreathing around her and the sound of his pen scratching against paper drifting against black.
Renji stood with his back against the wall, arms crossed against his chest, and eyes gaping at the sky. No clouds disturbed the sky that waved over his head, and the heat from the sun gently rushed against him. He tried not to sigh audibly, but his mind flickered and gave way. With an irritated growl, he stood and began walking slowly towards Captain Hitsugaya's office.
The sun was beginning to flow over the horizon as Renji neared the office. He had taken slow steps, and wasn't that sure why. Well, he knew why, but he wasn't going to admit that to himself.
Swallowing, he knocked on the door, letting his knuckles brush the wood. He didn't hear anything right away, but then Hitsugaya's voice leaked through the door.
"Enter." Renji opened the door to find Hitsugaya in his original position over the desk, while Rukia was curled on the couch, a blanket tucked over her. Renji smiled when he saw how sweet, how innocent she looked. That strand of hair that always was placidly stuck against her face now draped over one eye.
"May I help you, Renji?" Hitsugaya asked, regarding the Lieutenant with cold eyes. Renji blinked. For a moment he thought he saw something flash in Hitsugaya's eyes, something almost protective. However, it was gone too quickly to be sure.
"I'm here for the dawn patrol. If you don't mind, I'll wake Rukia…" Renji drifted off, feeling uncomfortable. Hitsugaya had a look in his eyes that seemed to pin down the crimson haired Lieutenant. He tried to ignore it, and edged over to Rukia. He gently shook her shoulder, and watched as the girl fluttered her violet eyes open. She looked up at Renji, and he felt a thrill go through him when she smiled sweetly.
"Renji." She greeted him. She pulled herself to a sitting position, and yawned. "Is it dawn patrol already?"
He nodded in reply. "Come on, let's go." He growled. When he looked up, he was relieved to see Hitsugaya was no longer glaring at him, but now had his eyes glued back to his paperwork. Rukia stood, draping the blanket over the back of the couch, and stretched.
"Alright, Captain Hitsugaya." She yawned. "I'm going on dawn patrol." She turned to him, and smiled. Renji was dumbstruck at the sweet way Rukia looked at her Captain. And when he looked up, Renji could have sworn Hitsugaya smiled in return, with a gentle look in his eye.
"Fine." He replied. Renji blinked, then followed the girl out of the room.
They started out silent, navigating the halls with just a gentle comfort. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, feeling a strange searing emotion as he tried to remember the last time she seemed so relaxed since she returned.
Everything about her seemed nearly serene. Her eyes were shut nearly half way, and her violet eyes didn't so much as flicker with uncertainty. Her mouth was a placid line, but her face was plain and easy.
They reached the outside, and both of them turned to see the sun beginning to flow over the horizon. The sky had blissfully began to turn red, orange, and yellow. Rukia leaned forward, putting her arms over the railing, to stare farther into the sky. Renji stood next to her, his body near hers.
She suddenly turned towards him, her eyes glued to the ground, but her body stance rigid. "Renji…" She began.
He stepped closer to her, using his size to make her look up at him. "Rukia." He said quietly. "How are you?"
She smiled up at him, blinking back tears. To anyone else, the question would seem innocent. However, Rukia could sense the real concern behind his voice. She could always sense his real incentive.
"I'm doing okay." She replied, forcing herself to meet his eyes as she tried to tell herself there wasn't any other emotions behind his gaze. "Renji, is there something you want to say to me?"
Renji met her gaze gently. "You're looking great." He whispered. "Considering what happened. It seems as if you've been getting better, but…" He cut off, and looked away, trying hard not to blush. Rukia blinked in confusion, and looked back at him.
"But what?" She encouraged him. She reached out, touching his arm lightly with her fingers, wishing she knew what exactly went through her friend's mind.
He stared back at her. A long time ago, he had let her get away from him. He had blamed Byakuya for taking her away, when it had been his fault, for not asking her to stay. She had left, and he had felt so hollow when she was gone. He thought he would be content with only seeing her now and then, but when she left, she had taken a part of him with her.
He finally looked up, to meet her gaze. "Rukia, what exactly has happened?"
Rukia blinked in surprise. "What do you mean, Renji?" She stammered, despite the fact she already knew what he was asking.
He gazed at her, as if knowing that she knew what he was asking. "You and Captain Hitsugaya." He replied. "I don't know him very well, Rukia, but from what I do know, it's obvious he was acting differently around you."
It took a few moments for Rukia to gather her thoughts. But after a moment, she sighed, and looked back out to the sunrise.
"Renji…" She started softly, and looked at him, unsure of what to say. What really had happened between her and Hitsugaya? What Renji said was true, she did seem closer to Hitsugaya. He was gentler with her. They… they…
"I don't know." She said softly. "I'm not quite sure. But… something did happen. Between us. I'm not quite sure what, though."
Renji stared at her, then smiled. She was staring off into the distance, and barely noticed when he stepped forward. A gasp emitted from her mouth as he gathered her into a crushing hug.
"R… Renji!" Rukia breathed as he pressed her against him. Rukia hesitated, then reached around him, hooking one hand onto his back, and burrowing her face into his shoulder, blinking back tears.
"I'm always there, as a friend." Renji murmured, feeling his heart pound in pain. He had loved her long before she had married Ichigo. And he had always hoped something would happen, so he would be able to hold her like this again. But now, he knew. He knew, and accepted, that he would never be the one she would come to.
He pulled away, and placed both his hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me." He told her quietly. "I don't quite know what's going on, but I do know that whatever has happened makes you happy. You may not notice, Rukia, but I haven't seen you this relaxed since you fell in love with Ichigo. And I'm there for you, if you ever need me."
He righted himself, and turned, waving goodbye. "I'll finish dawn patrol." He told her gruffly. "Don't worry about it."
Rukia gaped after him, her mind churning at his words. Her limbs felt light and squishy, and didn't trust herself to move them. She turned back to the sky, watching as the sky was set aflame.
She almost felt her heart wrenching as Renji walked away, and tears filled her eyes as she watched him until the last strand of his crimson hair had disappeared. She wondered… if she had never met Ichigo, who she had fallen in love with him?
She sighed, turning back to the sky. That wasn't a question she could answer. It wasn't as if she didn't know about his feelings toward her. She had always known. The hurt had been almost unbearable when he had told her to go with the Kuchiki family. She had almost felt lost. However, now she was turning him away.
Her eyes followed the traces of the sky, as it began to darken into a blue. She felt as if she wanted to love Renji, but she couldn't. She wished she could make him happy, and felt herself being torn about how she had twisted his life. She could only hope he would one day find someone who would fill the cracks in his life she couldn't, and make him happy.
Something warm touched her hand, and she flinched with surprise. She turned to see Captain Hitsugaya standing beside her. His light touch changed as his hand wrapped around her fingers.
She turned back to the sky, but leaned into him, and wondered if she would mind if anyone saw them together like this. After a moment of contemplating, she realized she didn't really give a damn if anyone saw them or not.
He suddenly turned towards her, meeting her gaze with his deep turquoise eyes. "Tell me." He murmured. "Why are you alone? I would think you would have the sense to stay with Renji until you completed dawn patrol. I actually promised your brother I'd be with you all the time, and he wouldn't be happy if I sent you off with just Renji, let alone if he learned you were alone."
Rukia looked down. Even now, she could feel the way Hitsugaya began to turn protective. She suddenly felt idiotic as she realized she wasn't scared for herself, but for Renji.
She looked back at him, and tried to smile reassuringly. "Renji said he would finish dawn patrol by himself. He said…"
She was cut off when Hitsugaya's grip tightened on her hand. "That doesn't matter." He hissed. "You should have come back to the office. What would I do if Ichigo suddenly appeared, and there was no one around to protect you?"
Rukia suddenly felt annoyed, and tried to pull back. However, his grip only tightened. "I don't need protection!" Rukia growled, despite the fact she knew that wasn't exactly true. "I can take care of myself!"
Hitsugaya's turquoise eyes blazed. "Don't put yourself as risk like that, Kuchiki!" He snapped. "What would you do against Ichigo? Even if you could defeat him, could you bring yourself to do that?"
Rukia inhaled sharply as she met his cold gaze. What he said was frighteningly true. Despite how he was now… would she ever be able to kill Ichigo? She felt as if she wanted to say yes, but something told her no. She looked down, knowing the answer.
He obviously knew the answer as well. He leaned closer to her. "You wouldn't be able to." He hissed. "That's why you can't be left alone. Not until this passes. What would I do if you got taken away? It's not like I could look for you with Captain Kuchiki and Renji beating me down."
"I suppose that's true." She smiled. However, something flickered beneath her smile, and he could sense it. It was reluctance. She didn't want to have to be protected. Either that, or once again, she was blaming herself for what had happened.
"Come on." He said softly, grabbing her hand, and towed her back to the office. She followed him without any protest. As they entered the office, he let go of her hand, but suddenly her grip tightened.
He turned back to her, looking at the Lieutenant in surprise. She had her eyes glued to the floor, but he could tell she was crying.
"Rukia…" He whispered, and leaned forward, taking her face in his hands. "What's wrong? Did Renji say something?"
She shook her head, but Hitsugaya could tell she was lying. He pressed his palms to her cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away her tears.
"Listen to me." He said quietly. "A lot has happened between you and Renji, but I have never seen two closer friends. Whatever happens, he will understand."
Rukia looked back up at him and smiled. "Thank you, Captain Hitsugaya." She murmured as she pressed her forehead to his, welcoming all that was him.
A fluffy chapter. Don't worry. Next chapter, I'll have some more tricky things going on, for all you action lovers. And don't be too worried if I don't update very quickly. When summer comes, I'll have more time.
Review, por favor!
