"What'd you and Marissa go see?" My mom asks as soon as I walk back in through the door, leaning back so that she can see into the hallway down at the front door. She's standing at the kitchen island, making something. It's 9:30 at night, so I know she's not just now making dinner. If there's one thing my mom can't stand, it's feeding us late. She's a little superstitious, and she's a firm believer in eating a heavy meal before you head to bed will give you nightmares.
I slide my vans off next to the door and lock it up for the night. "Insidious Chapter Two." I walk straight back down the hallway and into the kitchen. "What are you making?" I sit down at the island and rest my head on my forearms like I did back at Panera with Marissa. I watch as she cubes bananas into little squares and throws away the peels. I could probably guess what she's making, but I really don't feel like it.
"Daddy had a taste for some banana pudding, so I'm gonna whip up a quick batch. I drove your car down to the Walmart to grab some bananas, and I don't like how it's running. It keeps dragging and stuff, so daddy's gonna take it in to get an oil change tomorrow morning. If you want to go anywhere, use Dallas's car." She throws yet another banana peel away.
I'm severely annoyed that my mom thought that she could just use my car. My car is fine. It's been getting me to everywhere I need to go. I'm thankful that my dad's gonna take it in tomorrow, but I don't really think anything is wrong with it. "…I'm gonna go take a shower and stuff."
"No, no. Stay for a second, Demi. I want to talk to you." She pushes the dish she's making the pudding in towards me and hands me the yellow box of Nilla Wafers. "I talked to Maddie today while making dinner. Talked to Dallas yesterday while helping her give Carlo a bath. I want to talk to you now."
"Uh… okay. What do you want to talk about?" I open up the wafers and line the bottom of the dish with them so that she can spread the pudding over top of them. My mom makes the best desserts. Her dinners are amazing too, but she's better at baking than cooking, hands down.
"Whatever you wanna talk about, baby." She reaches over and slides her hand and fingers through the silky long lengths of my hair. "Your hair is getting so long and pretty." She clears her throat and continues cutting up bananas. "So how was the movie? What was it like? Should I go see it?"
"Um… it was good. I really enjoyed it. It was a lot scarier than the first one. This one ghost smacked the shit out of the mom, it was so funny!" I finish lining the bottom of the dish with the wafers and take my glasses off. "Then the dad hit her in the back of the head with a kettle."
"Watch your mouth, Mems. But it was good? Where'd you guys go eat?" I kind of hate when she calls me "Mems", but it's kind of cute so most of the time, I just excuse it. I think the nickname derived from Madison when she was a toddler. When she first started talking, she wasn't able to say "Demi" correctly, because she replaced all her Ds with Ms and all her Ss with Ts. So I became "Memi" and Dallas became "Mallas." For a long time, School was "Tool" and Stupid was "Tupid." I guess that's where "Mems" came from.
"Sorry. But yeah, it was a good movie. We ate at Panera, of course. I got some pretty cute things at the mall. I bought Carlo an outfit, but I don't think he'll be able to fit it for another month or so. He's a little small, and the onesie is kind of big. I think Dallas will love it though." I reach in my pocket and put her credit card on the island. "I only spent like… $400 something."
"Okay baby." She walks around to the side of the island that I'm sitting at and puts her arm around me. "Bubby is coming over tomorrow. Bubby and Nana… you okay with that?" She kisses the top of my head and starts playing with my hair like she always does. "I already let them know that we aren't gonna talk about that…"
"No, it's fine. I'm…excited to see them." I grab a wafer and pop it in my mouth. I'm a lot less than thrilled to find out that my grandparents are coming. Every time they come visit, they (especially my grandma) start talking about God and Jesus Christ and how "being gay is a sin, but I can be saved." It's really nerve-wracking, actually.
"Mmmkay baby. You go 'head and take your bath now. I want you to get some sleep. You haven't been sleeping and resting much since you've been home." She presses her lips to my temple. "I love you, babyface."
"Love you too, mom." I hop down off the stool and start walking towards the stairs. Aside from Dallas, my mom is the easiest person in the entire family for me to talk to. Maddie and Dallas both know that my mom and I have something…special. We always have had something special. I used to sleep in bed with her until I was seven years old, for two main reasons. Reason one: I always felt safer sleeping with her. And Reason two: she felt better with me beside her too.
I take my phone from my pocket and plug it into my charger as soon as I get into my room. It died halfway through the movie, and it's been dead ever since. I take off my jeans and throw them over my computer chair. I take off my sweater and throw it over the chair too. I put my bra and my underwear in my dirty clothes basket and go into my bathroom.
My shower is the best thing in this house, literally. It's removable, it has different settings and it vibrates. Not like I ever use the vibrating part, but it's still nice to have. I turn the hot water all the way up and add just a little bit of cold to it. I grab my wash cloth and step into the spray.
I've missed this about my house. I've missed my shower. My shower back in my dorm is nice and all, but it's literally nothing compared to my shower at home. I turn around so that the water hits my back. I hope my big, messy bun holds out, because I took he time to straighten my hair and if it gets wet, it'll frizz back up.
I squeeze some of the shower gel into my washrag and massage it all over my body. When I'm done washing up, I rinse myself off, watching as the suds go down the drain. I cup my hands and let water fill up in them, then splash my face with it. Usually, I wash my face with the face wash I have, but I don't feel like it tonight, so I just shut off the shower and step out.
I wrap my pink and purple striped towel around my body and go back into my room. I always feel better when I take showers. It's just something that's always proven true for me. I keep my towel around my body and lie down on my bed, curling up into a naked little ball on my comforter. I reach over and grab my phone off the charger and push the home button. I have a missed call from a weird number, and three text messages; two from Marissa and one from Selena. The weird number is probably from Selena's home phone.
I ignore Marissa's two texts and read over Selena's. All it says is "hey! :)". I guess I should call her back. I go to my recently missed calls and tap the red font weird number. I hold the phone to my ear and listen as it rings. I half wonder what Selena wanted.
"Hello?" A muscular, manly voice answers the phone. I think it's Selena's stepdad, but I don't want to seem weird by automatically assuming, so I just won't.
"…Someone called me from this number?" I use my fake voice and hold my towel close to my body. I sit up and pull my knees into my chest.
"Oh, yeah. Hi…"
"Uh… hi?" I scratch my head. Do I know who this is? I'm a little confused…
"Sorry I didn't text you before I called… my phone is really dead and I can't seem to find the charger…"
"Oh…" I bite my lip. I really don't know who this is… "Um… so what's up? What are you… doing?" This person obviously knows who I am, so I really don't want to be rude by asking who this is when they already know who I am.
"Just sitting around… finishing off my food from earlier. How about you?"
OH! I KNOW WHO THIS IS! "Um… just sitting around. About to watch TV and eat some banana pudding. What made you decide to call me?" I keep my towel around me and lie on my stomach.
"Well, I was gonna text you. But like I said, my phone is all messed up right now. And I kind of wanted to talk to you…. So I decided to call."
"…I'm glad you called." I kick my feet up and cross them. "What are you doing for the rest of the night?" My stomach is flip-flopping all over the place. I close my eyes and breathe in through my nose. I think my stomach is going to explode. I think I'm going to explode. I can't explain this feeling, I've never felt anything like this before. I have NEVER felt anything like this.
"I'm probably just gonna go night fishing with my brother… then head off to bed or something. That's all. Nothing too fun, nothing too boring."
"Night fishing? What's that?"
"Fishing… at night." He chuckles, which makes me laugh too. "No… my uh… family has a boat. My brother likes to go fishing at night, because there are better chances of catching squids at night. So, I take him out fishing at night."
"Ohh… that sounds fun. I hope you guys enjoy yourselves. Is your brother older or younger?"
"Younger." He clears his throat in my ear. "Well if you're not doing anything, do you want to come night fishing with us?"
"That's…. very kind of you, Joe…. I would love to… um… what time?"
"Uh… around 11:30. Is that okay with you?"
"Yeah, that's fine. I um… might be out a little later. Around 12… or something. I'll have to sneak out. My… my parents won't let me out… with someone I hardly know…"
"I won't hurt you, though. We're just friends…"
"…I know. But… you don't know my parents. I'll be out, though. Where should I meet you at?"
"At the dock. On second and seventh. Right in that little corner. You can text me if you need further instructions or something. I'll see you in a while?"
"I'll see you." I smart smiling so hard that my dimples come out again. I think I have a date. I can't really call it a date, because he just thinks of me as a friend. But I'm going somewhere with a boy. A BOY. This feels really weird, but weird in a good way. I can't stop smiling, and I can't get this feeling in my stomach to go away. I put my phone down and stand up finally. I drop my towel and walk over to my dresser to grab something to put on.
It never gets too cold in Oceanside, but the nights do tend to get pretty chilly around here. I grab a sports bra and pop it on over my head. I grab my pair of light blue boyfriend sweatpants from Victoria's Secret and pull them on. I grab the only clean hoodie I have and throw it on. I don't match, with blue pants and a red Diamond Life hoodie, but that's honestly the least of my worries.
I take my hair down from my ponytail and flop down on my bed. I'll probably have to walk to the dock, because if I take a car, my parents will most definitely wake up. Luckily for me, the dock isn't that far away. I can walk there in about… ten minutes.
I turn on my TV and flick through the channels. American Horror Story is on, so I turn it on. Sucks that it's a repeat of last week's episode, but I'll watch it anyway, because I'm not really interested in anything else on TV. I wonder if Joe thinks of me as a friend, and a friend only.
I'm a hopeless romantic, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing, because I'm easily satisfied with someone whenever I have them. It's mostly a bad thing, because I fall for people too easily. I fall so easily it's not funny. But I feel weird, because I think I'm falling for a boy.
Joe can't possibly think of me as only a friend. If he did, why did he wait at Panera for three whole days for me to come back? He must have wanted to see me. You don't wait for friends, do you? Maybe you do, but not in the way he waited for me.
My head is so mixed up. I like girls. I've liked girls since I was fifteen years old. Why am I feeling so deeply about a boy? I'm a lesbian, aren't I? I've kissed many of girls, I've had sex with three girls, I'm physically attracted to girls. I can't just… turn straight? Can I? I'm so mixed up.
I'm just so confused.
"I'll be right back. I'm just going to meet a friend…" I whisper to Dallas through her cracked door. "If mom or dad wake up, cover for me. Cover for me, Dal." I know Dallas won't tell on me. She won't even ask me questions about where and who I'm going to meet. She and Rob used to sneak around all the time and I covered for her every single time. I don't want to tell her that I'm going to meet a boy there, because I don't want to get her all riled up with questions. So I just leave it at "a friend."
"Alright. But I'm going to head to bed when Rob gets home at about… 2:00, so don't be out past 2, cause then I won't be able to cover for you. Alright?" She bounces Carlo on her shoulder to quiet his crying down. "Have fun Dems."
"I will. Give Carly kisses for me." I shut her door before she can yell at me. She hates when I call him "Carly." She says that I'd better stop giving her baby girl names before she smacks me in my head. I personally think that "Carly" is a cute nickname for Carlo. It's either "Carly" or "Car-Car."
I tiptoe down the steps and slide on the same Vans I kicked off when I came through the door earlier. I disarm the alarm and open the front door quietly, and I disappear into the night. I'm still confused and nervous about what I'm going to be walking into with Joe and his brother, but I decided to just let go and let the course run its course. I still think that I'm a lesbian, but who really knows anymore?
I grab my phone out of my hoodie pocket and call Joe's cell phone. I really like having Joe as a friend. It's kind of like we connected from the get-go. I've only known him a few days, but I really feel a connection with him. I can talk to him so freely and easily. The first time we really talked earlier today, I felt like I was talking to Marissa. It was so easy.
"Demi? Are you on your way? Do you need us to come meet you?"
"Um… no. I'm on my way, but I don't need you to meet me. I just wanted to let you know that I'm on my way." I look ahead and keep my eyes focused on the street.
"You're walking? Stay on the phone with me until you're here."
"…Why? I know my way to the dock."
"I don't want anything to happen to you. Just…. Stay on the phone with me. For my sake, please."
"Okay." I shrug and just keep walking. It's sweet that he doesn't want anything to happen to me. It's really sweet. But he really doesn't have to stay on the phone with me. I'll be fine. "…So, did you tell your brother that one of your friends is gonna join you tonight?"
"Yeah, I told him. He's excited to meet you." I hear the sound of the motor of the boat revving up in the background. I'm so glad it's a motor boat and not a row boat. I hate row boats. I've been on a row boat once, and I will never go back on one.
"That's… nice. I'm um… at the edge of the dock. About… three minutes away."
"Uh… I don't…. nevermind, I see you. I'm gonna walk and meet you halfway, okay?"
"Okay." I hang up and speed up my pace walking. He sees me, but I don't see him. I don't see him at all. I just keep walking straight, because he said that he's docked on the corner of second and seventh, and second and seventh is a little further down than this.
"Demi, over here!" I hear his voice call my name, but I still don't see him. I turn around and look, because it sounds like his voice came from behind. When I turn around, I see him, finally.
He's standing at the edge of the dock, holding his brother's hand. His brother really is little. I'd say he's no older than Maddie. I shift my direction and walk back towards the both of them. His brother is really short with shaggy brown hair and big eyes. He's wearing a Spiderman t-shirt with Spiderman pajama bottoms. He's adorable.
And then there's Joe. Standing beside the boat, holding his brother's hand. The tight black underarmour frames his body so that his muscles are prominent. Instead of the usual camouflage printed pants he always has on, he has on a pair of bright red basketball shorts. He looks like a father holding his son's hand.
"Hey!" I wave as I approach them. His brother flashes me a cute little toothless grin. He is missing every last bit of his top teeth, apart from two, one on each side. I can't help but smile back at him.
"This is my brother, Frank the Tank. Or just Frankie." Joe introduces him to me. "Frank, this is my friend, Demi. She's real nice. I told you about her, remember?"
"…Hi… Demi." He says to me with the softest little voice. His cheeks flush rosy red and he burrows his face into Joe's upper leg. He's so cute.
"Hi, Frankie." I ruffle his hair playfully and he shyly flashes that toothless smile.
"Come on guys." Joe motions for me to follow him. He holds Frankie's hand a little tighter and leads us both to the edge of the dock. I step down into the boat and sit down on one of the benches. Joe puts Frankie's life coat on him and hands him a fishing pole. "Catch something good tonight, bud."
Joe is really good with his brother. Their relationship is so cute.
"I'm glad you could come…" Joe turns the motor of the boat on, and we start gently rocking forward. "Living near the ocean can be really pretty sometimes." He grabs some Razzles from his back pocket and offers me some. I hold my hand out, and he pours some into it. I chomp on a red one.
"I'm glad you invited me… this is the most fun I've had since I've been home from school." I watch as the moonlit water rushes by us.
"School? You in college or somethin'?"
"Yeah. UCLA."
"What for?"
"Neuroscience."
"Isn't that something with the brain? You're going to be a brain surgeon? That's awesome…"
"…No. Not exactly. I mean… I'm majoring in Neuroscience, but I'm going to be a Behavioral Specialist."
"Ohh. That's really neat, Demi. You must be freakishly smart then…"
I shrug. "Yeah, I guess. How much brains does it take to get into the military?"
"Not the military, Demi. The National Guard." He winks at me and nudges me on the arm. "And I'm pretty smart, if I do say so myself. I graduated fifth in my class. But I knew that the service is what I wanted to do. I just liked the thought of protecting people."
"…I guess that's fair." I flip my hair and smile at him. "….So do you take all your friends on the boat with you? Or am I just lucky?"
"I prefer the term special, rather than lucky. I think you're… special. It doesn't take luck for me to take you out here on the boat."
Oh my god, my stomach is doing backflips. Why does he make me feel this way? "…Why do you consider me special? What… what time-frame do you need to deem someone special to you? It's only been a few days since we've first met, right?"
"Well…" He snickers. "Sometimes, it just chooses you. If you cross my mind at least once a day, then I guess you must be special, right?"
"So I cross your mind every day?"
"Only for the past four days."
"…You've been on my mind too…." I guess I'm starting to believe in love at first sight. Though I don't know if I love Joe, I definitely feel something for him. And it happened so suddenly.
But like I said, I guess it just chooses you sometimes.
