Loki strode out of the bathroom, fully dressed with his hair still dripping wet, the back of his shirt gradually sticking to his back more and more. One step at a time, he thought; while dripping water all over Tony's floors may not be much of an inconvenience to him, it would at least amuse him if someone tripped and fell.
He walked downstairs with as much confidence as he was able, carrying his sceptre and trying not to look as though his head was in a fair amount of pain.
The four unfortunates stuck with Loki looked up the moment he set foot in the room. They were sitting on couches around an oversized coffee table, clearly awaiting his presence.
'You realise that there is a hairdryer in that bathroom?' asked Pepper, trying to keep the distaste out of her voice.
'A what?' asked Loki, 'Another ridiculous Midgardian contraption? I don't believe that will be necessary.' He sat down on the couch with an air of indignity, inwardly smirking as Stark's leather couch was soaked through with water.
Stark raised an eyebrow. 'Jarvis, make a note; I'll be needing a new couch.'
'Of course, sir,' came the reply, 'I'll have another ordered immediately.'
Loki scowled; he'd forgotten that most of his destructive ideas could be thwarted by the sheer amount of wealth Tony possessed. Tony smirked and Pepper chuckled. Bruce put his hand to his forehead in exasperation; they'd all been conscious in the same room for thirty seconds and the games had started.
As if he'd heard Bruce's very thoughts, Tony piped up 'So, who's up for a game?'
The four of them stared at Tony as though he'd suddenly grown an extra head or three. 'You can't be serious,' said Loki and Pepper at the same time before scowling at each other.
'Why not?' asked Tony, 'Time to kill, fallen gods to babysit… what else is there to do?'
'I've got some work for the company I really should be starting…' began Pepper. She started to get up, but Tony pulled her back down to the couch.
'I'll get someone else to take care of it. You're obviously free, Loki,' Loki narrowed his eyes further, if that were possible, 'And Coulson? I'm sure you wouldn't want to miss out on this, would you?'
Coulson looked unshaken, but that didn't fool anyone. 'I doubt this is advisable, Stark, what with…'
'Great, so you're in! Bruce?' Tony looked at Bruce with the most overboard charming expression he could manage.
Bruce sighed. 'I'll stay,' he said, standing up. 'Where are these games, then?'
'Study, bottom shelf of the bookshelf,' said Tony, pulling out his phone, 'I'm ordering pizza.'
Loki sank back further into the couch, leather squelching behind his back. This wasn't looking to be one of the most enjoyable evenings of his life. Still; it looked better than being handcuffed to a trundle bed.
'Ah, Tony?' asked Bruce, walking into the room, several cardboard boxes under his arms; 'Is this really what you meant by games?'
He placed them carefully on the table, making sure the names of each were visible. This wasn't the super-advanced gaming technology system that Bruce assumed Tony had hidden somewhere in his apartment. These were…
'Twister?' asked Pepper, 'Cluedo? I haven't played these in years. I didn't even know you had these!'
'Well, there's a second time to try everything,' said Tony, 'Any votes for first game?'
'FIRST game?' asked Loki, staring at the foreign-looking collection of coloured boxes in front of him, 'You expect me to play more than one of these infernal games?'
'Don't knock it if you haven't tried it,' said Tony, eyes drifting to the case of poker chips.
'I'd avoid playing this, knowing Loki's history,' said Coulson, standing up and plucking the case of darts from the table before walking out of the room to take them back to the study. Loki rolled his eyes.
'I suggest asking him to leave the spear on the bar as well,' called Coulson from the hall.
Bruce, Pepper and Tony looked at Loki. He stared back at them.
'Loki, put it away,' said Pepper, glaring.
'And what if I refuse?'
'Oh, no no no no,' said Tony, 'you don't want to do that, goldy. You wouldn't want to see Pepper when she's angry.'
'I thought that statement would have applied more readily to another of you,' said Loki, pointedly looking at Bruce. Bruce chuckled.
'If you think I'm bad, Loki, wait until you see Pepper in a rage. I've heard the stories.'
Loki looked at Pepper, who was smirking at him. He maintained eye contact with her as he stood up, carefully placed his sceptre on the bar, and then walked back to his seat.
Tony threw a quick thank-you-glance to Bruce. At least Loki would be easier to handle if he thought every single one of them was "armed" and dangerous.
'So, what should we start with?' asked Pepper, 'Poker? Chess? Monopoly? Cluedo?'
'Might have to skip Trivial Pursuit, the kid here wouldn't know a thing… How about we start with an easy one?' asked Tony, 'Monopoly first.'
'But Tony, that's not exactly…' Bruce fell silent at Tony's pointed expression. He sighed. 'Monopoly it is then.'
'Stark,' said Coulson from the front of the room, 'The pizza's here.' The others turned to see him balancing four pizzas, two large bottles of coke and two lines of garlic bread. Bruce jumped up to help him carry it all. They left most of it on the bench next to Loki's sceptre, bringing just the one pizza to the table with the games.
'We're playing Monopoly, agent,' said Tony, setting up the board and shuffling the chance cards. Pepper was handing out money, 'I vote Pepper for banker,' he added.
Pepper rolled her eyes and dragged the remaining cash next to her, within easy reach. Everyone else arranged their money, while Loki held his and stared at it, unsure of how the money came into the game at all. After a scramble for the pieces, Loki was left staring at the remaining ones.
'You've got to pick one,' said Bruce, 'It's a marker for where you are around the board.'
Loki reached for the horse and placed it on the same square as the other four pieces. 'I don't suppose it's necessary for me to understand the rules of this game in order to win?' asked Loki, brimming with overconfidence. This game looked infinitely simpler than those he used to play as a young child.
'Confident, are we?' asked Tony, 'Well guys, let's see if the god can pick up a simple game of Monopoly.'
'With ease,' said Loki.
'I don't think so,' said Tony, 'Time to teach you some humility.'
Pepper, Bruce and even Coulson broke out into very unmanly giggles.
'What?'
'I'm sorry,' said Coulson, 'I never thought I'd see the day. Tony Stark, teaching humility to a god.'
'He's got a point,' said Bruce, picking up the dice, 'well, if no one else is going to, I'll start.'
He rolled the dice, and the game began.
'Go to Jail,' said Tony, 'Do not pass go, do not collect the $200 you so desperately need.'
Loki scowled and pushed the horse towards the jail square of the board. Pepper looked at him with a touch of sympathy; he really was doing absolutely shockingly at this game. Bruce raised an eyebrow at Tony. Bruce was already out. Coulson was doing rather well, and Pepper was hanging on due to a remarkable ability to distract Tony with short, innocuous sentences when her piece landed on his properties. Two empty pizza boxes lay squashed under a third one containing a half-eaten pizza, and glasses of coke lay scattered around the table.
'I don't see what this has to do with humility,' said Loki, scowling after another two circuits of the board in which he inevitably had to pay Tony several times due to his monopoly of at least a quarter of the board.
'Everything,' said Tony, 'We're teaching you how to lose, and how to loosen up.'
'He doesn't exactly look loosened up,' said Coulson, 'He looks wound up and pained, actually.'
'Of course I look pained, you ridiculous mortal,' said Loki, 'Your unnecessary manoeuvre in the airport resulted in a painful lump on the back of my head. I'm surprised at the lack of medical attention I've received for it.'
'I'd thank him if I were you,' said Tony, 'Looks like he was going easy on you.' Loki ignored him and coughed loudly as Pepper landed on one of his three properties, demanding the money he needed to survive another round.
Less than a round later, Loki was bankrupted. He flicked the horse off the board with disgust and sat back against the couch, now thoroughly regretting his earlier decision to leave his hair soaked. On her next turn, Pepper was bankrupted by Coulson, and lest the game continue into the early hours of the morning, Coulson and Tony decided (reluctantly) to call it a tie.
'So…' said Tony, 'Cluedo?'
Pepper sighed.
The fourth pizza was almost entirely finished, and Tony was definitely on the verge of ordering another. It was around 10pm.
'It was Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the candlestick,' said Pepper decisively. 'I've never understood that. Of all of these, why would you murder someone with a candlestick?'
'Clearly you haven't a decent imagination,' said Loki threateningly. The others ignored him.
'Completely right, Pepper,' said Bruce, laying her cards out. 'I've never been able to guess the room.'
'That's because you spent your entire time in either the library or the study,' said Coulson, who'd been one room away from knowing the solution. 'I don't believe Loki was on board at all that game.'
Loki scowled, tossing his cards to the table. 'These games are ridiculous. Why do you mortals waste your time on these activities when there are far more interesting things to be doing?'
'To take a break,' said Pepper, 'Or just to have fun. There's not meant to be a purpose to these. Instead of glaring at everyone whenever you lose, which you will keep doing if you never ask for the rules, why don't you just try and have some fun?'
'Well, that's easy for you to say,' said Loki, reaching for a slice of pizza. He couldn't believe that he was eating this unhealthy rubbish, but for reasons he couldn't quite put his finger on, the stuff was absolutely delicious and addictive.
'Time for something a little more interactive,' said Tony, 'who's up for Mario kart?'
'You have Mario kart?' asked Bruce, 'Count me out; I'm a disaster at those games.'
'Just as well, there are only four controllers anyway,' said Tony, 'Come on Coulson, I bet you're an absolute ace at this game.'
'After hours of playing it with my nieces, I'd say I am,' he replied. Coulson was starting to enjoy himself, despite the presence of the grumpy Asgardian, and so was loosening up beyond the normal possibilities his job allowed him.
'It's a bet, then,' said Tony, springing up to move into the room with the projector, 'This way. Loser has to buy the next pizza.'
It was just as well that Pepper was terrible at Mario kart, else Loki would have found it interesting trying to pay for the pizzas. They were spread out on bean bags in a room with an enormous projection of Mario kart on the wall. Loki hated to think how utterly undignified he must look sitting in this outrageous spotty blue bag. Bruce was perched on a chair in the corner, occasionally playing solitaire and occasionally taking the opportunity to laugh at the competition.
Two races were happening; the first was a vicious battle between Tony and Coulson for first place; each was using underhand tactics and all the shortcuts they knew to beat the other. The second was an equally vicious battle between Pepper and Loki for last place.
'Dammit Coulson!' yelled Tony as Waluigi, Coulson's character, crossed the finish line after a neck-and-neck race for the final stretch of the course.
'You wouldn't believe it, but my nieces beat me every time,' he said.
They sat there debating whether they should invite Coulson's nieces over for a good few minutes while Pepper and Loki finished the race.
'Dammit!' said Pepper, watching as Loki's character, Yoshi, threw a red shell at Pepper and raced past the finish line just in front of her, 'I'm buying. Someone set up the next game.'
'Poker!' yelled Tony, and ran for the case.
Poker, surprisingly, was the only game Loki seemed to be any good at. He was surrounded by a pile of chips. Pepper and Tony were doing reasonably well, while Bruce and Coulson were each hanging on by a thread.
'I raise you exactly the amount you have,' said Loki, talking directly to Pepper, who was the only one who hadn't folded. He counted his chips and put in the amount that Pepper had, still leaving him with a reasonable amount.
'He's bluffing,' said Tony as Coulson said 'He's not bluffing.'
'He's too good at lying,' said Bruce, 'Pepper, I'd leave this one.'
'Everything,' said Pepper, pushing all of her chips into the middle of the table. 'Cards?'
Loki scowled and put down a bunch of mismatching cards, his only points being from a pair of twos. Pepper smirked and lay down a full house.
'Knew it,' she said, chuckling. Loki cursed.
'That was… challenging,' he admitted, ignoring the smiling looks he got from the people who were his designated captors for the week.
'I have to leave,' said Coulson, 'It's midnight, and Director Fury wouldn't accept "playing poker with a god" as an excuse for why I'm not working as well as I usually would.'
'You're coming back here tomorrow, Phil,' said Tony, 'Tomorrow'll be movie night.' At Bruce's expression, Tony added 'you too Bruce. No way is anyone missing out on this.'
'And how exactly is movie night supposed to be helping me?' asked Loki.
The others shrugged. 'Bit of pop culture never did anyone any harm, right?' said Tony, 'Come on. We'll start with Rocky Horror.'
They all burst out laughing, aside from Loki. 'I'll come back tomorrow,' said Coulson, walking out the door, still shaking his head.
'I should be off as well,' said Bruce, 'Good luck with everything.' He waved as he walked into the lift after Coulson.
'Time for the kids to go to bed,' said Pepper seriously, and Tony chuckled. Loki didn't have the energy to scowl; he was jet lagged and exhausted. He plucked his sceptre from the bar and walked straight to his room, intending on drying his still-damp hair before sleeping.
He had no idea what Rocky Horror was, but it sounded vaguely terrifying.
Author's note; Hey, look, I'm still alive! It's been around a month, hasn't it? I'm really sorry; uni's been frantic and I have exams coming up, so the next update will be mid-November, at which point you can probably expect me to go back to updating once every few days. Thanks for sticking around, guys!
