Let the chaos begin.

Chapter 7: Dancing on Puppet Strings

"Is everything ready on your end?"

"Almost, but I need to clear something first."

"Don't let your feelings get in the way. We don't want any… complications."

"It's set for the third?"

"Yes. They won't know what hit them."

"All I want is for L.E.A.F. to crumble at my feet."

"I'm holding my end of the deal. Clear whatever you need to and we'll start."

"On it."

"Oh, and one more thing. The Kilithus. Kill him. We don't want any prophecys or visions messing up our plans."

"It would be my pleasure."

/L.E.A.F. HQ: February 1st, 2064

"Shut up Peashooter."

Cabbage-pult and Peashooter were waiting in the lobby. The two had (with extensive pleading from Sunflower) agreed to stand guard for the lobby. The rest of squads X and Z were stationed around the rest of the base, ranging from the hangar to the cafeteria. Peashooter and Cabbage-pult were the only two that were stationed together, and they hated it.

"Well, there's got to be some way to-"

"Shut up."

"What about Brain Squad? They've ev-"

"Shut up."

Peashooter had been trying to figure out who had sent Pole. He was keeping quiet, not even NightCap and Rose could make him say a word. Most of the heroes were taking part in the interrogation, with a few exceptions: Solar Flare, Green Shadow, and of course Chompzilla.

Cabbage-pult had to put up with Peashooter as part of his deal with Sunflower. He was regretting that deal.

"Maybe General Supr-"

"Shut. UP!"

Peashooter shrugged.

"Just trying to be inclusive and productive. I mean, I did save your life."

"I would've lived. She wasn't that angry."

Peashooter looked at Cabbage-pult, then burst out laughing.

"That's the BIGGEST LIE I've ever heard! She would've torn us both to shreds if you hadn't gotten out of there!"

Cabbage-pult smirked.

"I did almost kill you."

"Almost. We both know you couldn't beat me."

Cabbage-pult rolled his eyes.

"Sure…"

Uhg… stop it Cabbage-pult! He isn't your friend!

Cabbage-pult frowned. Peashooter noticed but said nothing.

"I better not be your puppet."

"What about L.E.A.F. 'crumbling at your feet'? What about your revenge?"

"I know you made a deal with someone else. Another agent."

"Oh, they're oblivious to everything. They're blinded by their own desires and vengeance."

"You could've said that exact thing to him about me."

"I could've, but I didn't."

"Why deal with two of us?"

"Because you both want the same thing."

"He would be more qualified to kill the Kilithus. He knows him better."

"Ah, but you're a former assassin, are you not?"

/Sunspot Plains: February 1st

Brian and Steve looked out in the distance at the barely visible farm. The squad had left that morning, Buck having given the plants their best regards. Steve wished he hadn't. The two had noticed that Buck was acting different: He was lost in thought and dismissive of his company. Steve hated it. What good was having him as leader if he didn't lead?

"What should we do now?" Steve questioned Buck.

"Head for the Bloominati base." Buck replied monotonously.

"Maybe we can take a break," Brian signed. "My back hurts."

Buck apparently didn't hear him, because the group walked for another half an hour. By then, Buck's obliviousness was becoming less of an annoyance and more of a problem. He tripped three times and accidentally hit a tree, and the tree was the only one in the vicinity. Allstar and Steve were constantly yelling at Buck, who paid them no attention. Eventually, Steve snapped.

"I'VE HAD IT. IF YOU WON'T PAY ATTENTION, I'M NOT STICKING AROUND."

And with that, Steve warped away. Allstar and Brian kept following Buck, staying loyal to their friend. Neither resented Steve for leaving. Buck was annoyingly oblivious, but the duo thought Steve had acted a little extremely.

Buck finally snapped out of his trance when he felt a gun press against his head. Brian and Allstar froze as miscellaneous plants and zombies surrounded the trio. The one holding the gun was a centurion.

"Hello, Brain Squad. Welcome to the Bloominati."

They had been ambushed in a narrow valley, each zombie too distracted to notice they were walking right into a trap. Buck sighed at his own stupidity before realizing Steve wasn't there.

C'mon Steve, Buck thought to himself, you're waiting to save us, right?

"WAIT!" A paleontologist called out. "There's supposed to be four of them."

"Then FIND THEM!" someone else yelled.

Multiple zombies and a couple plants left, searching the area for any signs of Steve. Brian and Allstar exchanged anxious glances, which wasn't unnoticed. A shellery rolled up and said something to the centurion, who smirked.

"We need him alive."

"Hardly. That pathetic fool can't even pick a side."

"What about your deal with him?"

"It doesn't matter. I need the pole-vaulter. If he gets in your way it's his fault."

"Hmm… hold on…"

"…He's with the Kilithus."

"WHAT?!"

"Apparently both squads are guarding."

"This is PERFECT! Head in and kill it! If he dies then L.E.A.F. will fall to ruins! That plant is the single most important thing in this war! Do NOT screw this up!"

"Fine. Gotcha."

/L.E.A.F. HQ: About 12:45 PM

Peashooter was waiting while Cabbage-pult got back with the sandbags. Peashooter had offered to help, but had been turned down. Probably so no one could walk right through the lobby.

Peashooter smiled as he remembered Sunflower trying to get the two to partner up. Chomper and Wallnut had assigned positions, and so did most of Squad Z. Sunflower wanted to go solo, so she had begged, quite literally, for the two to go together.

As Peashooter was about to enter a flashback, a bullet whizzed right past his face. Peashooter rolled behind a square column and didn't dare peer out. The sniper had barely missed: He knew they wouldn't miss again.

Peashooter eventually heard rapid steps. When the sounds were feet away, Peashooter rolled out and shot a few peas… right at Cabbage-pult. He wiped the pea stains from his face and looked unamused.

"And that was for…?"

"Get down!" Peashooter hissed. "There's a sniper!"

As if on cue, a bullet passed right under Cabbage-pult's arm. The two plants quickly dove behind columns, the main carpet between them.

"Why didn't you get the sandbags?"

"Because I heard glass breaking!"

"Then why'd you get mad for the pea shots? And why did you go out in the open?"

Another bullet hit the column Peashooter was behind.

"Because I thought you could tell it was me! Leaves sound nothing like boots or shoes!"

"Fine! What're we gonna do about the sniper?"

Another shot rang, once again at Peashooter's column. Peashooter wondered why they were only shooting at him: they'd seen Cabbage-pult too. Maybe they were baiting him.

After some time, the shots ceased. Cabbage-pult, with some effort, pulled out a large cabbage almost as big as himself and had it peer out. Almost instantly, a bullet went right through it.

"I screwed it up."

"WHAT?! I GIVE YOU ONE ASSIGNMENT AND YOU SCREW UP!"

"Calm down. They don't know I left. I'll get in some other way…"

"NOW THE BUILDING WILL BE ON LOCKDOWN! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS?!"

"Meh. Even on lockdown they can't stop a missile."

"You have missiles."

"Yeah? And?"

"(Sigh.) Just get back to work. That zombie is a valuable asset."

"Seems he's too valuable."

/Back at the L.E.A.F. HQ…

"Nineteen."

Cabbage-pult smirked and flashed his cards.

"Twenty-one."

Peashooter sighed. He'd lost almost every time.

Every door and window had a solid metal wall over it, whether inside or out. Peashooter and Cabbage-pult had to stay in the lobby, something neither were happy with. They had taken to playing Blackjack to pass the time.

"Hit me."

Peashooter looked at his cards. Eight, two and three.

Cabbage-pult drew a card. He slapped them down in annoyance. Twenty-two. Peashooter handed him his cards and Cabbage-pult shuffled the deck once again. Peashooter took his two cards and smirked.

"Hold."

"Hold as well."

Peashooter showed twenty, still smirking. Cabbage-pult laughed. He showed twenty as well. Peashooter facepalmed.

A loud whistling sound resounded throughout the room right before an explosion demolished the front doors. Peashooter and Cabbage-pult coughed as the dust cleared. A gaping hole had appeared in the metal wall, with a mall cop zombie standing there. He smiled and waved, a missile-launcher in his other hand.

"Hey guys! Wassup? I'm Jay Zea, Zomboss' newest assassin. You ready to die?"

"No." Peashooter said bluntly.

Jay Zea's smile didn't falter in the slightest. Instead his smile widened.

"Great! That just makes it more fun when you do die!"

"Hey! It's Jay Zea, right?" Cabbage-pult interrupted. "You should be dead. It's impossible to survive a missile blast that close."

"Meh, I don't play by the rules."

"You're a cop."

"Does the police follow the law? No. They have special privileges, at least when on duty. And right now…"

Jay dropped the missile launcher and drew a pistol.

"I'm on duty."

"Officers enforce laws. What law are you enforcing right now?" Peashooter questioned.

"Oh, nothing… except kidnapping, since you didn't hand him over to the police and instead to a dangerous criminal organization. And don't give me that 'self defense' junk either: Kidnapping ain't self defense."

Cabbage-pult snorted.

"What do you know? You're just a mall cop."

Jay's smile vanished. He fired at Cabbage-pult, purposely firing too high.

"Warning shots. I won't hesitate to kill ya."

Peashooter shot Jay's hand, knocking the gun to the floor. Jay looked at Cabbage-pult and pointed to Peashooter.

"Kill him please."

"And why would I listen to you?"

"We share an ally."

"I severely doubt that."

"Wait… you ARE Cabbage-pult, right?"

"No, I'm a peashooter."

"Really?"

Peashooter took the opportunity to run around Jay and grab the pistol. His pod shook as he held it. Jay noticed and sighed, before drawing another gun and aiming at Cabbage-pult.

"Don't try, kid. You're not a murderer."

Peashooter flinched, then aimed his gun right at Jay. Cabbage-pult lobbed a cabbage at Peashooter while they were distracted, surpising both Peashooter and Jay. Peashooter dropped the pistol due to the recoil, and Jay took his chance. He quickly fired at Peashooter, landing only zero shots out of the entire clip. Jay angrily reloaded his gun and was about to shoot again when he noticed that Cabbage-pult was laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"The cabbage."

Jay looked back and noticed Peashooter was holding a cabbage with multiple bullet holes in it. Jay scratched his head.

"How did I not see that?"

"Because you're an idiot."

Everyone turned to see Pole walking through the doorway. Lockdown seemed to have been turned off, for every metal wall had lowered into the ground. Pole had his vaulting pole and was smirking.

"They're letting me go."

"Yeah, right." Peashooter shot at him. "You? A known threat who not only attacked me, but almost killed Citron last year? Sure. I'll believe it when Zomboss surrenders."

"Oh yeah, forgot about Citrus. Ah well. Past is past."

He continued walking towards the exit when Peashooter shot a pea at his feet. Pole easily avoided the shot and faced Peashooter.

"Fine. If you must know, I walked out the door and grabbed my pole. Pretty convenient that no one was there either. Since nobody interrupted my walk, I presumed I was allowed to leave."

"So… they just let you roam their H.Q.?" Jay asked.

"Well, I went straight down here as not to upset them…"

The two plants interrupted by grabbing Jay and thrusting him into the wall. Pole shrugged and walked out, leaving Jay behind.

"Wha- Pole! C'mon! I risked my life for you!"

Pole was gone. Jay groaned and looked at the two plants who held him to the wall. He smiled weakly.

"Can we talk about this?"

"Done."

"So it seems. And no one knows?"

"Nope."

"How? It was the most obvious blowing of your cover you could've done."

"Your other agent already tried that. The idiot thought I was a peashooter for a sec."

"Where is he?"

"Don't know, don't care. He's a loser anyways."

"Hmph. As long as we're still allies it doesn't matter."

"I can't believe the idiots didn't figure it out, especially the Kilithus. My alibi was questionable at best. But…"

"What?"

"Sunflower was suspicious."

"The girl you're trying to impress?"

"Then this is the time to pick a side. Mine or theirs. You know which she is on."

"Cabbage-pult?"

"I'll call you back."

/Spearhead Forest: That night…

Buck and Steve sat across from one another. Steve was extremely agitated, and Buck was exasperated. They probably would've gotten into a fight if they weren't tied up to chairs.

"For the last time, Steve, I said I was sorry."

"A lot of good 'sorry' does."

The Bloominati had captured them all and blindfolded them, bringing them to a secret underground base. Allstar and Brian had been separated from them, to both their dismay.

"At least I'm trying."

"Trying to get us all killed. Trying to figure out what that one physicist sees in you. At least, that's what I'm trying to figure out."

Buck blushed and turned his head away in embarrassment.

"We're you spying on me?"

"No. Went out to look for you and saw the whole thing. You really know how to run a relationship."

"Shut up…" Buck retorted halfheartedly. "At least I have a relationship…"

Steve would've facepalmed if he could. He had walked right into that one.

"Can't say I'm not trying…"

"Didn't Brainstorm say you were gay?"

"N-no…"

"So you-"

"Listen, we're being held captive by an organization that wants us dead more than zombies want brains, and the best thing you can come up with to do is ask me about my relationship status?"

"Steve." Buck answered sternly.

"What?"

"Warp."

Steve looked at Buck for a minute then laughed. He activated his warp and landed right next to Buck. Quickly he untied the ropes.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Why didn't you warp earlier?"

"Good point…"

The two were about to leave when they heard a familiar voice coming towards the door.

"Buck, that's-"

The door burst open, and the light hurt the two zombies' eyes. When they were able to see, they said nothing. The figure in the doorway sighed and came in, the door somehow closing behind him. His mask lifting up and a frown on his face, the figure looked back and forth between the zombies.

"I was expecting you to get captured, but can you at least complete the mission I gave you first? It isn't that hard."

"Can it Rustbucket," Steve growled, "I suspected something was up."

Rustbolt shrugged. "Zomboss is a dimwitted madman, what did you expect? His only reasoning for this whole war is to prove something to himself."

"True," Buck conceded.

"Well, yes," Steve agreed.

"Then why do you two follow him? His idiocy will get everyone killed."

"I have my reasons," Buck answered curtly.

"Oh, yes. A degree of pacifism in the biggest battle since World War II."

"Actually," Steve interrupted, "the followup wars to World War II were grand as well, even if some weren't even physical wars. The Cold War was an amazing feat, lasting-"

"SHUT IT."

Steve shrugged. "Just saying."

"This better be the last call, Zomboss."

"It is. I've scheduled the attack. Thirteen days from now L.E.A.F. will be destroyed."

"Valentines Day?"

"Exactly. The day when people share their feelings. We'll show them exactly how we feel."

"You seriously can't be thinking about ditching the operation-"

"I'm not ditching anything. Or anyone."

"(Loud sigh) As long as the fourteenth is acceptable."

"I accept."

"Perfect. I will see you then."

"See you then."

Cabbage-pult hung up and looked at the ceiling of his room. Thirteen days to convince the already skeptical Sunflower that joining Zomboss was a good idea and she should leave everything behind. They didn't need to tell her the details. Definitely don't tell her Peashooter was going to die…

Cabbage-pult gathered up all his courage as he left his room, left the house, and went to see Sunflower.

(Yawn) That was tiring. Okay! Before I go, a few things.

1. I will be trying to upload weekly, Monday or Tuesday, depending on how busy I am. (I have been SLACKING.)

2. Speaking of slacking, I'm going on vacation next week so don't expect anything then… instead, except TWO chapters when I return! (Already breaking my own rules… wow.)

See you in 2 weeks!