Thank you all so much for all your love while I've been gone. I've been busy with school, but now I'm back so here I am. I own nothing.
Chapter 7
Jerome's POV…
"Jerome turn that off!" screamed my mother slamming her door closed as my alarm clock went off that Friday for the first time since I had gotten it; for once I had decided I needed it, so I could be up extra early to make everything perfect for Phoebes birthday.
"Today I'm getting you back for all my happy birthday's, Phoebes," I thought as I exited my trailer remembering as I did all my birthdays and wanting to give Phoebe one for once. We had never celebrated her birthday. She had never allowed it before and usually hid from me all day, but today would change that. We had celebrated my birthday every year since we met and now we would celebrate hers because I wanted to make it a happy day for her. Just like me, I knew she hated her birthday after all it was hard not to when no one really cared about it, but Phoebe changed that for me. Now I would change it for her.
"Hay Mr. Cicero, you home," I called knocking on the old man's door early that morning needing to pick up the cake I had baked for Phoebe and hidden from my mother not wanting to risk her ruining it just to spite me. Once I had the cake I left pretty quickly. Truth be told the old man gave me the creeps, he was always watching me, watching Phoebe even, and I just didn't like it. It helped sometimes because the old man would do anything for me and I took advantage of it. Even if his interest in me and my comings and goings gave me the creeps. But letting that leave my mind I once again focused on Phoebe's birthday walking discreetly, but quickly to our secret spot. Nothing would ruin Phoebe's birthday.
I worked hard to make everything perfect though it was nothing fancy or anything like that. I spread a blanket out and set the cake in the center so Phoebe would see it first thing before surrounding the rest of the blanket it flowers I'd picked. They were small, the whole set up was small, but as I looked down at the finished product I knew or at least hoped Phoebe would like it. I knew she would at least appreciate the sentiment because I knew her hatred for this day wouldn't just fade away. It hadn't for me and thinking of her I knew it was yet another thing that we would share. I was about to go in search of her then when I noticed the mistake I'd made. There was still something missing. My present, I had nearly forgotten it. Taking it out of my pocket, I set it on the ground beneath a few of the flowers, and then I looked at everything again. Now it was perfect and with that thought I smiled turning to go in search of Phoebe. Phoebe meant the world to me. I would do anything for her. I only hoped she liked this that it made her birthday a little more bearable.
"This took longer than I thought," I thought as I searched for Phoebes deciding to try her trailer as I realized it was nearly noon. I walked quickly to her trailer giving my signature knock.
"Phoebes…" I began as the trailer door started to open expecting Phoebe to be there. Her dad answered instead. The very sight of him made my smile fall and a permanent frown find its way to my face. The guy made me sick, I hated him as much as I hated my own mother, and as we stared each other down I felt more and more sick to my stomach. All the man did was make Phoebes life hell. He was the reason she was so unhappy all the time and for the first time in my life I wanted to kill someone. I wanted to kill him. Now, I wish I had back then, but then things would be very different today. Phoebes dad was never really a dad. He was a monster. If anyone deserved to die it was him, but I wasn't ready to do it yet. I wasn't ready to kill anyone yet. He was a piece of shit who tortured Phoebe, he hated her for reasons I couldn't understand, and staring him down nothing was said between us.
"She's not here," said her dad his speech already beginning to slur telling me he had already started drinking.
He didn't say another word just grabbed the door and pulled it shut nearly hitting me in the face.
"Asshole," I breathed the slam of the door sounding in my ears that sickening feeling still in my stomach. I had a bad feeling and turning with that feeling I went in search of Phoebe. For the first time in my life the circus seemed huge. Phoebe was nowhere to be found and part of me hated that because of that feeling in my stomach. Her dad had already been drunk when I saw him that only made me scared for Phoebe. What did he do to her before she went into hiding? She didn't want to be found just like every other year, but this year I was determined to find her. I was sure he had already given Phoebe her present, she got bruises just like me every year, and as that thought entered my mind I began searching for her harder. This year that would change.
"Phoebe?" I called when I finally saw her appear out of nowhere in particular.
When she heard me call her she turned looking right at me and when I saw her my jaw dropped. We just stared at each other, I couldn't take my eyes off her face; her dad had given her his present all right. It made me feel with anger just seeing them. As that anger appeared on my face in that same moment Phoebe started to run away from me making my anger lesson as I ran to catch her.
"Phoebe!" I screamed running to catch up to her. Grabbing her hand, I stopped her turning her to face me. I stared at her, but she wouldn't look at me. Nothing was said between us until finally her eyes connected with mine and instantly I saw that tears were with them. They leaked past her eyes onto her cheeks making me reach to wipe them away immediately. But the second I did she took a step away refusing to look at me once more. Phoebe shivered away then letting go of my hand to wrap her arms around herself.
"Oh god, Phoebes…what'd he do? What happened sweetheart?" I exclaimed moving to touch her face again. She once again tried to step away, but I wouldn't let her. I didn't care if she wanted me to or not I needed to see what the bastard had done. I needed to see how bad it was; I needed to take care of her like she took care of me when it was me with the bruises on me. And with that thought in my head I heard her sob her whole body shaking as I pulled her into a hug my sweater suppressing the sound of her sobs for only us to hear.
"Jerome," sobbed Phoebe in response suddenly no longer fighting me, but instead clinging to me as I held her shaking her head over and over silently telling me she wasn't ready to talk. I would accept that for now. The fact that she could say my name said a lot. I only held her in that moment waiting for her sobs to die down a little bringing my lips to kiss her head as I tried to sooth her. It would be alright now, she would be alright now; I would make sure of it. When they did die down we still didn't say a word. We didn't even pull away, I only continued to stand there simply holding her in my arms until suddenly pulling away just slightly I looked at her. This time when I tried to touch her face she let me. It looked like her dad had started in on her early, there wasn't an inch of her face that wasn't slightly purple, there was blood coming out of her nose the new covering the crusty old, and it looked like she had a split lip.
It all made me pull her back into another hug. I was glad I'd decided to celebrate her birthday, it might cheer her up.
"Later?" I breathed not needing to tell her what I meant feeling as she nodded in answer.
"It's gonna be alright now, I promise," I whispered kissing her head again before looking down at her.
"We're gonna go celebrate your birthday…no protests allowed. Everything's already ready," I said touching her face once more almost making her smile as she looked up at me nodding as I took her other hand.
Phoebe still looked reluctant, but looking into my eyes I let them beg her, implore her. It must have worked because Phoebe tried to smile again. Soon she was nodding again and still holding her hand I followed our tradition. I pulled her along behind me just like I always did. As she followed, trying to keep up with me as we gained speed, I heard her laugh until suddenly I stopped us pulling her in front of me as we entered our secret place.
"Oh, my god," breathed Phoebe her hand dropping mine as both of hers covered her mouth. Phoebe was crying once again, but this time I smiled when I saw them. They were happy tears this time.
Phoebe just stood there not looking at me for the longest time. She was taking everything in, the cake, the flowers, the whole thing making her finally look at me. For a moment, she just stared at me, but then as the tears still flowed down her face Phoebe smiled at me. I loved it so much. I preferred to see her smile rather than cry.
"I hope you like it Phoebes…I know it's not much, but happy birthday," I whispered barely getting to finish speaking before she was in my arms her arms wrapped tight around me. After a moment, we pulled away, and leading her towards the blanket we sat down.
We sat side by side Indian style on the blanket and immediately I sat her present in her lap.
"Jerome…you didn't have to do all this," exclaimed Phoebe smiling at me as she looked down at the gift. I didn't say anything in response just gave her a soft poke. I really wanted her to open the gift; I just hoped she would like it.
"You do this for me every year on my birthday…now it's my turn," I said poking her once more. With a smile, Phoebe started to open the paper envelope, and as she eased the gift out of it I found myself suddenly nervous. I hoped she liked it. It was a simple gift, something I had found not even remembering that I had it, but this gift was different than anything else I could have given her. It was special. It wasn't just any gift; it had real meaning. When her eyes started to tear up I knew she saw that meaning immediately.
"I forgot about this," whispered Phoebe showing the picture to me as she leaned her body against mine. I gave her a picture I had forgotten we had had taken and had found lying around my trailer by chance. I knew the second I saw it again that I wanted her to have it; she would take better care of it then I would. With my luck, I would lose it or worse my mother would find it, and burn it. We had had it taken on a very random day when some lady with a camera had been running around. It was the only picture of us we had.
"This almost makes me wish I had let you steal the camera from that lady then we'd have more of these," whispered Phoebe both of us remembering the woman with the polaroid camera and how my first instinct had been to try to steal it from her later, but luckily Phoebe had stopped me as she always did. We sat side by side on a bench, we were doing nothing in particular my arm thrown around her shoulders. We were together which explained why we looked so happy. Phoebe was smiling. I was smiling. We were smiling right at each other a special little twinkle in our eyes that we didn't know existed yet. We were together and happy as long as we were together.
"We'll get more eventually…after all we have forever," I whispered both our eyes lingering on the photo, but also on the words I had written at the bottom.
"Jerome, how long do you think we'll be friends?" whispered Phoebe looking at me as she finished reading her line.
"How long do you want to be friends?" I said part of me being taken back to that day long ago. It had been our first day together, it was how our friendship began, and it would always be one of the best days of my life. As I found myself drawn back to the present I looked down at her smiling. We knew those words by heart.
"Forever," said Phoebe laying her head on my shoulder.
"Then we'll be friends forever," I whispered kissing the side of her head.
"Thank you, Jerome," whispered Phoebe afterwards nothing else needing to be said between us. When that silence ended, we had cake.
We didn't bother cutting the cake, it would have been complicated considering how lopsided the cake was, but Phoebe didn't seem to mind. It was common knowledge that I couldn't bake the way that she could. Hell, I couldn't even cook unless it was frozen or pre-prepared. I think she just appreciated the sentiment and for that I was glad as we each took a fork in hand beginning to eat. I told her jokes as we munched on the cake and each time she laughed I was happy. I was slowly erasing the damage her dad had done. Each time I looked at her that day I felt my anger still there, but I didn't let it show. That would have upset her more, but looking at her I wanted to know what happened. But I wouldn't push her. She would tell me when she was ready.
It was as I was telling a joke that I noticed her start to drift away and setting down her fork I knew she was no longer with me.
"You ok, Phoebes?" I breathed moving to take her hand, but she moved away before I could. Sitting up, Phoebe dragged her knees up to her chest laying her head on them, and refusing to look at me she was quiet until suddenly she wasn't.
"Phoebes…it's gonna be alright," I said moving closer to her part of me afraid she would run away again as I coaxed her into my arms. Phoebe's head snapped up and looking at me she had tears streaming down her face.
"I woke up and he was standing over me just staring at me. He just started in on me hitting me, kicking me, and it all happened so fast I couldn't fight back. I couldn't protect myself. And all because I look like her, Jerome, I look like her," said Phoebe her tears getting harder as she continued.
I didn't know what she was talking about as I smoothed my thumbs over her face drying her tears. But still I would be there to listen.
"Who Phoebes?" I said letting her crawl into my arms her head once again on my shoulder.
"I look like my mother, Jerome. That's why he did this, I look like my mother," whispered Phoebe her tears nearly making it hard for me to understand her. After a moment, she looked at me and I didn't know what to say. Phoebe had never mentioned her mother before and I had never asked.
Phoebe was quiet a moment her hands fisting in my sweater. She was working up the courage to continue and finally when she found it she looked at me. Even before she began again her tears had returned. Her head found its signature place on my shoulder and kissing that same head I didn't say a word. I would be there as she always had for me. In that moment, my ears were open and I was ready to listen. I would listen to everything keeping everything as always just between us.
"My mother left when I was a baby…she left because of me. That's why he blames me. My uncles say I look more like her the older I get…that's why daddy hates me. I remind him of her…of my mother. It's my fault she's gone and that's why he beats me up worse every year. He hates the day I was born. If I hadn't been born she wouldn't have left," whispered Phoebe her words muffled between her sobs. Phoebe only sobbed then her whole body shaking with the force of them. It was then that I thought that Phoebe in a way had it worse than I did. She had a shit dad and a shit mom. But keeping that to myself I let her cry holding her until I could take the sound of those sobs no more.
"I don't even remember her, Jerome, all I have to go off of is what they tell me," sobbed Phoebe. That is what made me put a stop to those tears. I got rid of them quickly and making her look at me I refused to let her look at me. I would have to start to make her strong because if Phoebe stayed this way I was scared the next time her dad came after her he would kill her. And then I would have to kill him.
"Phoebes, I want you to listen to me. You need to start fighting back…that and you need to see the bright side of things. You don't need to be so serious or so scared of him. Just fight back…and smile as you do it cause you know…there's always room for a smile," I said letting my words sink in with her before continuing.
"And maybe it's good that you don't remember her. You don't need to…just always remember that you don't need her. If she left you the way she did she can't be worth much," I whispered. A silence fell between us then until suddenly Phoebe hugged me.
"It's gonna be alright now…just don't forget what I said," I whispered feeling as she nodded her head against my chest.
"What was her name?" I said not realizing I had asked the question out loud.
Phoebe didn't answer right away. At first, she acted as if she didn't hear me, but finally she looked up at me. I was about to tell her to forget about it, but I never got the chance.
"Lucy," breathed Phoebe a dead silence following the answer. I hated that silence and as it seemed to become more and more drawn out I did the only thing I knew to do to end it. I started to tickle her. It was one of our classic tickle wars and in that moment, it was the only thing I could think of. After all, after all this time I knew where her every tickle spot was.
"Jerome stop," laughed Phoebe her voice ringing through the air my fingers running over her skin. And soon my laughter joined hers as her hands found my tickle spots.
"Phoebes!" I exclaimed laughing with her not caring if anyone showed up to see us this way. We laughed together, we smiled together, and we were happy together. We were each other's ray of light in the dark place in which we lived. That was my thought as our war finally ended. We laid out of breath on the grass and looking at each other we smiled. We both knew that if we didn't have each other our lives would be very different.
Both our breathes heaving, Phoebe caught my eye as she looked up at me. Wrapping her arms around me she laid her head on my chest both our eyes closing. Everything was so peaceful, we were both at peace until suddenly I found I wasn't with just a few words from her.
"I love you, Jerome," whispered Phoebe making my eyes snap open. Nobody had ever said that to me before.
