Author's note:

Guys… I really am sorry for my beyond-late update. So much has happened in my life and it ruined my mood to write for a while… But it's here, finally! \o/ - I didn't have time to review the chapter for mistakes, so I'm sorry for them. I'll review it later and post the corrected one.

But BEFORE you read this chapter!

Most of this chapter will happen in Sesshoumaru's garden, so please take look at this picture here (Just erase the parentheses): .
I searched and searched and it's the garden that looks like the most to Sesshoumaru's.

CAN I HUG YOU?

(Garota Inu)

7. Not without that hug!

"How did I end up here again?" Kagome asked Sesshoumaru who was sitting under the shelter of anextremely huge willow, watching her throwing pebbles in the pound.

Kagome was amazed by the beauty of that place, but even more by the fact that it was Sesshoumaru's backyard. She was still bitter towards the Inu lord; those hurtful words still tasting sour even after a week, but she couldn't help feeling lighter being in that kind of scenario, it was all green andso beautiful. It seemed like it was sheltering them from the rest of the world; even more Sesshoumaru that was almost completely hidden behind the willow leaves.

"At the annual dinner, my council heard your speech about my leadership and was impressed by your loyalty. They pest me to pass my available time with you." Sesshoumaru explained for the second time, even though he hardly ever repeated himself.

"I know there's more to it." He heard her mutter as she threw another pebble. Of course there was more to it, but it was the farthest he could go. No matter how much he tried, he could not bring himself to tell her they sug– "They said I could be your mate, didn't they?", she suddenly guessed.

His heartbeat strangely. How embarrassing. "Hnn."

Kagome went silent after this, turning that information over in her head and asked. "And if I am here, does it mean you've accepted their suggestion?"

Sesshoumaru made sure not to look at her. "I brought you here in order to have peace."

"Then you're using me to fool them? Oh, it's always a great pleasure to be used by you, Sesshoumaru-sama." She said cheerfully, smiling at him.

"It's what allies are for. One assists the other when the necessity arises."

Kagome's mind automatically translated his sentence. 'It's what friends are for. One helps the other.' And she could feel the stone that wrapped her heart and that he created a week ago crumbling down a little.

The priestess sighed. She was such a softie… "I guess so.", she murmured as she sat beside him, but just because she ran out of pebbles, not because now that she wasn't so mad at him she wanted to be close to the taiyoukai, no. Never. "Don't they care if I am a miko?"

He knew that unwanted questions were inevitable, but that was a reasonable one; he could answer that. "As long as you stay loyal, no."

Kagome leaned her head on the tree trunk, watching the wind play with the tree tops. "But our sons or daughters would be all hanyous.", she calmly said.

For a moment, Sesshoumaru pictured him having the miko bear his pups and, as a consequence, ended up picturing how they would make said pups and a shiver ran down his spine. "The hanyou is giving a positive second impression at the manor. Very few still care about this matter as long as the father is a Taiyoukai, like your hanyou's case."

A strong pull tagged at her lips and Kagome tried not to grin stupidly as she felt what was left of the stone on her heart dusting away in a blink. She was too easy. "Well, if I were a PESBLE woman at least."

… What? "What?" He had to ask.

"Why, PESBLE." She said as if he should know what that acronym meant. "Powerful, Elegant, Submissive, Beautiful, Loyal and Educated."

Sesshoumaru looked at her beside him, slightly surprised. She memorized all that… Why? "Why do you say that?"

She shrugged. Because if I were one, I could stay here and pretend to be your mate, so they would leave you alone and I would have a reason to stay in the past, watch over Inuyasha and prevent his going to hell…" she finished in less than a whisper, but soon she perked up and smiled nervously. Enough of sadness. "But I sure am not. Not everything at least."

Kagome thought Sesshoumaru wouldn't say anythingbut, if he did, he would've said'Indeed. That cannot be helped, then. It was a good plan, though.' And he did say something. However, it was entirely different from what she thought he would say.

He turned his eyes to the pound and said "You are."

Her head snapped at his direction; her mouth gaping and cheeks blushing. "But I'm not! I'm not beautiful or elegant, let alone powerful! – And I don't think I am submis–"

"You are correct." The taiyoukai said and looked at her. "You could never be submissive even if you wished for it."

There. Kagome's blush deepened and her heart skipped a beat. That sweetness she knew he had deep inside of him that was meant for those he cared for and that made her mind blur and body to beg for a hug, a caress, a k—her eyes fell from his eyes and looked a little lower. Those pale and thin lips which probably only a few – if not no one – had ever tasted…

A kiss… would be great.

But Sesshoumaru didn't seem to be thinking in the same line as her and, in fact, he really wasn't. The only thing occupying his mind was why did he do that? Why the sudden need to make the miko be sure of her beauty? – Of course, it was between the lines, but still a compliment; the meaning was the same: he called her beautiful, elegant, powerful, loyal and intelligent!

'What is it?', he wondered, demanding an immediate answer from his brain. But nothing…

As if awakening from the deepest thought since ever, the miko blinked a few times and tried to say something. "Ah… Uh, but… I am not beautiful, Sesshoumaru, just normal…"

Again. That need again. "The fact that one does not show interest in a woman does not mean she is unattractive." Sesshoumaru said.

She scoffed. "Yeah, just less attractive than the other person…"

"It is merely a matter of opinion."

"Then, do you think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes."

Kagome blushed furiously, but didn't have time to properly react to that shocking answer, because a call from the distance broke the spell she didn't notice had settled between them and Sesshoumaru asked her to wait there for him and said that he would not take long, but she bet he would. This council was the worst. They were needed, but annoying anyway.

Grabbing her heart and squeezing her haori tightly, she buried her head between her knees and sighed loudly. 'I almost kissed him…!' If he hadn't blinked those golden hues and stayed frozen like he was the probability that she'd have her lips on his right now was ridiculously high. And then she would be watermelon jelly on the ground after the kiss - specially made by Sesshoumaru's claws.

But it was all his fault; only his.

After all, why all those compliments all of sudden? Saying she's beautiful, elegant and all - What was that for?! Was he in the mood to mock her too? Or was he just being kind? So many questions and no answers at all, but those questions were nothing compared to the most shocking, terrifying and revealing one...

When exactly did Kagome fell for Sesshoumaru?

Kagome sighed erratically while feeling her heart explode in sudden happiness. She was in love again. It wasn't like she loved two men at the same time as she thought before; it was just a different kind of love. But still, not like a brother or a best friend, no. It was just loving Inuyasha, that's all.

However, along with the happiness of being in love came the depression of the possibility of it being unrequited. And it hurt.

"When will you learn, you idiot?", she asked to her pulsing heart. "He'd feel insulted if he knew."

"Who?" That deep voice came from beside her.

Kagome screeched, jumping a little. "Damn, Sesshoumaru! Don't sneak up on me like this again, please!", she gasped. "God… I didn't feel you coming."

"I told you I would not be late.", the taiyoukai said as he stood beside the miko, towering over her sitting form.

"Yeah, but… even so…" Being in his presence after releasing her feelings for him from the dark depths of her mind and heart was overwhelming, but it was good. The problem was that her heart was beating so fast it could be easily be heard by Sesshoumaru, she was sure.

"Who?", he asked suddenly and watched as she leaned her head back on the tree trunk to look up at him. "Who what?", she said. And he blinked at her… cuteness. "Who were you talking to yourself about?"

"Oh." Kagome gulped ultra-discreetly and fixed her gaze on the willow, her cheeks blushing. "You."

So, she does not tell lies… "And what would I take offense in?"

"That", Kagome looked at him again, smiling, and winked. "Is a secret."

Sesshoumaru did not like secrets, but he liked respect very much, so he refrained from asking further questions. Usually he did not bother in being this considerate towards someone; however, for some time now, his nature towards the miko has been changed. He could remember a time when he could boil in anger because of her, when he could grab her by the neck and squeeze without limits, when he actually would love to see her dead… And the thinking about those things now was… most wrong; could not be more… outrageous. Impossible. As impossible as the fact – he realized it when his servant came for him – that he did not wish to go, not because he disliked his council, but for he wanted to stay. Because she was there. The miko entertained him; kept the boredom and routine away.

He liked her company… He wanted her to stay.

"Aren't you going to sit?"

Sesshoumaru looked down at her and blinked. For some reason he knew it would not be wise to be eye-level with her. "No."

Kagome shrugged, trying to mask her embarrassment. So he noticed her early inner conflict about kissing him, huh… Now he didn't want to sit next to her. "So…", she began. "How long am I supposed to stay here?"

The taiyoukai furrowed his brow, piercing the top of her head with his stare just like she pierced his pride with her query. Did she wish to leave? Did she not enjoy his company as he did hers? "Do you wish to leave?", he voiced his turmoil.

Kagome shook her head. "That's not it. I'm just pulling the chain."

He shrugged. "Enough time for the council to become satisfied."

She nodded and then got up, smoothing her miko garbs, without looking at him. "I'm going first.", a bow. "Please, excuse me."

Sesshoumaru watched the miko leave, following her petit form with his gaze as his head tried vigorously to find the part in their little conversation that might have troubled her, with no success. Was it something he did? Say? Did he offend her in any way? Or maybe he said something rude?

'Whatever ails you?', he wondered and soon came the answer, like a sudden wind in a breezeless day.

The kiss that did not occur and then his refusing to sit with her. She was not irritated, she was embarrassed. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes mentally and was going to walk after her, but when he really focused on her again, he saw the miko talking to one of the guards that kept the gates. She was gesturing her hands around, smiling, and soon the guard reluctantly smiled too.

Something burnt inside of him. What in the world was she doing?

He watched the miko laugh strongly and seek support by touching the man on his left shoulder. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes while his right hand rose up to rest on his left arm; the one she gave back to him. He did not find the view very pleasant, neither the view nor the reasons why he did not like it. Sesshoumaru was a prideful taiyoukai for many motives and one of them was that he never lies (and took pride on that). Never, to no one. A little deceive in the wars, of course, but he never lies, not even to himself. And for that reason, Sesshoumaru could proudly – and unwillingly – say that, for the first time in his long life, he really did not know what to do. The previous times he found himself in a complicated situation, he had options of what he could do to solve his problems and what he could not. He had had options. Now, he had not.

Sesshoumaru turned away from the chit-chatting couple and sat by the tree again, making sure that if she was to look at his direction, she would find his back turned to her. Maybe it was something to be considered childish, but he could not care any less. There was no one here to watch him. He closed his eyes, trying to turn her voice down.

It was easy to remember a similar situation that happened to his father centuries ago when he was still mated to his mother. His father saw her conversing to an inu who used to be her pursuer and the talk sounded to be very entertaining, for his mother would not stop chuckling. Sesshoumaru was not away from where they were sitting, so he knew what the subject was, unlike his father, who entered the garden just when his mother gave a little slap on the visitor's chest. He got furious, of course – Inuyasha had to have got that jealousy and thick-head from somewhere –, so he watched his mother gasp when his father turned his back on the chit-chatting couple and left the garden.

His mother never gasps.

Sesshoumaru was only eighty-seven at that time, so he did not understand why his mother was so upset, so shocked over that reaction from his father. Decades later, his mother explained what was the meaning behind the act of turning your back to someone.

Utmost disappointment.

"Mother…"

"But do not worry, my baby, I have my ways of persuading your father to forgive me." She said that, but her eyes were still red and full of tears.

"I am not worried." Claimed a little Sesshoumaru.

"Of course, my baby.", she smiled.

He stuffed his chest. "I am not a baby, mother."

Lady Karina pouted a little, her eyes moistening again. "You are not my baby boy…?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes twitched a little and his chest faltered for a second. His mother was always so full of life and although he preferred his quiet, introverted, composed, cold and emotionless personality, she completed him being this way: cheerful, cute and lovable. He sighed, letting go of his brave pose. "I… am." Lady Karina squealed and crushed him to her as she always did when he acted – as she puts it – overly cute.

He was ice and his mother was warmth.

He was the moon and Kagome the morning that chased the loneliness off his nights.

His hands ran through his hair as he sighed without his own permission. Sesshoumaru had been doing that a lot recently, things he did not use to do before: sighing, widening his eyes in shock, making more than three questions about a subject that was not business… 'She is the one to blame.' he thought as he inhaled deeply, suddenly catching her scent in the air. And letting it surround him. The scent was so strong he could close his eyes – which were already closed – and pretend she was right there, sitting beside him. But he never heard anything approaching him, so that was impossible. Sesshoumaru inhaled her scent again and he felt his hands twitch once.

He wanted. Wanted badly.

But what?

"Sesshoumaru?"

… Act as if not startled. "Hn." He opened his eyes and there she was, crouched in front of him with a pleading look in her huge blue eyes, and that confused him. "What is the matter?", he inquired icily, determined not to be weakened by the tear trail he could see on her face.

"I…" Kagome started, not daring to look at him. "I wanted, uh, I want – Oh, gosh…"

"Do not stutter and say it at once.", he ordered. "What is it that you want?", feeling stupid for he knew he would grant her desire.

The miko suddenly looked at him, her eyes moistened and red, but with such longing and loneliness that he almost asked again, but with curiosity not with the indifference he so missed.

"I…", she tried again. "I want you."

Sesshoumaru fought the urge to widen his eyes to the size of sauces, feeling his heart beginning to run wildly. He was unable to take his eyes off hers. And because of that, he watched with great astonishment her leaning forward to crash her lips on his. What happened next was something Sesshoumaru would have never pictured if he were one to picture something. Usually kisses begin with only the lips touching and playing and nibbling and then would start the proper kiss; if the female allows, that is.

Kagome reversed it all.

The miko kissed him with her lips already parted and invited his tongue to dance with hers in a kiss that was desperate. Sesshoumaru decided to stop. They should not be kissing; he was reluctant of hugging her, so how could he kiss her? She nibbled his bottom lip. They should stop. She laid her hands on his arms as she slowed their pace to a provocative kiss. He should stop that kiss. He tilted his head to the side to taste her better (he always thought she would taste differently). He will stop that non-sense. She straddled him. took his face on her hands, like a male would do. He wanted to bury his on her hair and pull her close, but somehow, for some reason, he just didn't.

"Say you love me." The miko whispered, ordered, demanded – he was not sure; he just wanted to know why she stopped kissing him. But something was off with her voice… Where was its usual warmth? Sesshoumaru blinked twice and was going to look at her, but she pulled him by his nape to a violent kiss.

… Just like a male would do.

He grabbed her by the neck and clutched hard as he stared at her face with his bloody red eyes and growled from deep inside his fury. And now that his mind was not foggy any longer, it was not hard to guess who it was. "How dare you?"

x-•°•°•-x

Kagome tried. Really tried.

She tried to keep away from him, to don't give the impression she was sticky, annoying and desperate, but she just… couldn't; they stayed apart for months before the wedding and one week after that. She wasn't exaggeratedly sticky, but that was too long! So, what she thought was one hour since she left Sesshoumaru – but actually was only fifteen minutes – after she walked in her bedroom, Kagome sighed exasperated with herself and headed back to the garden again, determined to forget her embarrassment and act naturally as she always had.

Who would have thought? Kagome in love with Sesshoumaru. A warm feeling spread through her entire body as she sped up her pace, dying to see- She halted. 'What the hell?'

Kagome had passed through many fantastic things since her arrival in the Feudal Era, some were so impossible she still has a hard time believing, but an extra-corporal experience was a first and the strangest one by far. Seriously, what was she doing sitting on Sesshoumaru's lap kissing the air out of him?

"Say you love me.", she – her – whispered.

Kagome blushed. 'What?' and looked at Sesshoumaru. Yeah, she was shocked, but she couldn't help but to wait for the answer. But it never came… Then her extra-body went back to kissing, and Sesshoumaru's reaction made Kagome gasp in horror and dread.

He strangled her.

"HOW DARE YOU?" she heard him roar and his voice made her remember that if she was herself, who was her?

She immediately ran to him, worried. "Sesshoumaru, what i––"

All the air she had in her lungs she sighed out in pain, and all she could do when that tentacle left her insides was fall back to the ground and welcome the dark.

Sesshoumaru watched Naraku smile mockingly at his question with her lips, which was not a pleasant view, and when he heard her true voice coming from behind, he turned in time to see the creature's arm stretch out to a tentacle and bury itself inside her chest.

Everything slowed so down…

Sesshoumaru stared at her fallen body on the ground with shock plastered all over his face; his breathing never so shallow and loud before. This wasn't happening. That surely was an illusion Naraku trapped him in. There was no way she was dead.

The word 'dead' worked like a spell and then everything happened too fast. The hand holding Naraku's neck dug its claws into the flesh and the other helped by tearing his head out of the body. He wanted blood on his hands, but all he got was mud. A puppet.

"So you do love her, huh?", his voice echoed in the air.

The taiyoukai ignored the damned and light-sped to the miko's side, crouching beside her body and picking her upper-half up. "Miko.", he called urgently. He could feel her heart beat. The weakest he ever heard. 'No..' "Miko!" he shook her and noticed her eyelids trembling before opening her eyes. He breathed. Never had he paid attention to how blue they were. She looked at the ground beside her, frightened, her eyes watering in fear as she tried to crawl away. He turned her face to him. "Do not worry about them, look at me."

Sesshoumaru didn't want to use Tenseiga on her now. He could use it on someone only once and he was saving it for the final battle if needed was. If he was to save her now… how could he save her later? He saw the girl turn her eyes to him, try to smile, wanting to say something but was unable to. His hearing was completely fixed on the beating of her heart, relieved for the ones it beat and hoping for the next. The miko whispered something. It was so low and shattered that he had to shake his headdefeatedly. He waited.

"Thanks for listening…"

His heart clenched. And clenched painfully.

He was sure that he will never figure out what had dreaded him the most: whether it was the sound of her breathing stopping or the light of her eyes vanishing or her heart finally giving up or the putrid scent of death grazing her skin – he didn't know. All he knew was that those glassy eyes, the still heart and death did not suit her, none of them did, and he wanted everything back! But it was so risky that it was absurd. He had only two options: either he brings her back only after the battle, which means subjecting himself to an undetermined period of time without her, or brings the miko back now and protect her like no one ever before, but still risking to lose her and lose her forever.

He was lost.

Now that her heart was as still as his body, not making any sound, only now he noticed how fast it used to beat when she talked about her issues or asked for a hu–– Sesshoumaru stopped. Stopped thinking, blinking, breathing, he stopped.

This woman died without that hug… without hearing him saying her name even once… without that kiss she thought of earlier… without the love she so craved. Just like him. Without love.

He could protect her. Save her now and protect her properly in the final battle, his brother was going to be there as well, so it wass even more protection. And that wolf. He could do it. It was not necessary to pass this long time until the battle without her, because she would not die again. He wouldn't let her. Besides…

She would not go away without that hug.

Sesshoumaru put her body back on the ground so gently that it didn't even make a sound and stood, hands already on Tenseiga's grip, drawing the sword. He narrowed his eyes so he could see the imps that were burdened with the honor of carrying her soul and when he did, he sliced them in half graciously for even daring. Death did not suit her. She was too good to die.

He waited. Almost anxiously. The thought of being without her for too long clawing at the back of his mind was just adding to his anxiety. When it became too much for him to bear, he called "Miko." The lack of answer bothered his insides. He tried harder. "Kagome…"

It felt strange, foreign. But tasted good.Yet…

"Kagome."

Why wasn't she answering?

x-•°•°•-x

"Sesshoumaru is a pompous bastard.", a red-cladded hanyou spat as he floated in a lake near the East border. "A spoiled prick who wants everything for himself, especially when it's someone else's.", he grumbled. "I hate him, I'll kill him."

"You know you don't and won't."

"Of course I do! He tried to steal Tessaiga from me more than once, now it looks like he's trying to take Kagome!" Inuyasha growled, creating ripples on the water.

"So is it okay for Kagome to kill Kikyou?"

"WHAT?!"

"That's what you're saying. Kikyou is taking you from her, so if it's okay for you to kill Sesshoumaru, who – I have to remind you – is you brother, for taking Kagome from you, then it's alright for her to finish Kikyou."

His growling increased in loudness and intensity, refusing to acknowledge this logic. But he knew it was pointless since he indeed wouldn't kill his brother, nor did he hate him. It did not change the fact that he was pissed and wanted her back, though.

"You're too possessive."

"Don't need you saying that to me, Mr. My Woman."

Kouga smirked bitterly, still looking at the clouds above. "I might still call her that, but I know I don't stand a chance.", he discreetly swallowed the lump in his throat. "I never did… I've loved her so much, but she only has eyes for you – It's like I'm a Kagome, she's an Inuyasha and you're the ghost from fifty years ago.", he said before sinking his face in the water to mask his tears. "The only difference is that I know you'd never want her to die."

Feeling his heart clench when the memories of his time thinking she was dead came crashing on him, it was Inuyasha's turn to sink a little. "We're a bunch of crying pups, ya know?", he joked without any humor.

Kouga hummed in agreement. "Tell me that at least you understand the situation; don't make want to really kill you."

"Kagome talks in her sleep sometimes." he started as he raised his dripping-wet hand to watch the drops fall. "And I heard her mumbling once 'Why wouldn't I want to love you, Inuyasha?' – I hope ya know what she meant by love–"

"'Course I know! Oh, God, so gross! Can't believe I heard that!"

"Well, then, that's when I knew Kikyou doesn't love me right, that it's more of a whim or something, like she just wants me to show that she got who she wanted." And he knew Kagome would never drag him to hell even if he'd promised her that, even if she wanted him to go… Even if he did want to go… She would never do that.

"Yeah." Kouga shrugged. "Took you long enough."

"No." Inuyasha shook his head, blinking annoyingly when a little water got in his ears. Seriously, if it wasn't their powerful refuse to stink with each other's scent, they would be somewhere dry."Took me too damn long."

"Yup.", the wolf chuckled. "If it was me, I would've marked her the moment she kis–"

"All riiiiiiight, don't need your details!"

Kouga smirked. "Virgin."

"Hanyou.", he justified.

Suddenly, while inhaling a particular breath, Inuyasha noticed something was different. Suddenly there wasn't tranquility anymore, it was as though if he moved even a strand of his hair he'd open his eyes and realize he was still pinned to that tree... and that thought alone was able to get him in a terrible flap.

What was going on here?

"Oi, mutt - what happened?" Kouga asked when Inuyasha sank for a second before crawling out of the water.

Inuyasha shook the water from his body, pushed his hair away from his face and looked down at his arch-enemy with troubled eyes. "Ya're not feeling this?" he asked. "This shitty feeling?"

The wolf tried, but could feel nothing strange. "What are you talking about?"

"Fuck, it's terror - It's like someone gave me an explosive and all I can do is wait in agony, 'cause I know all I'll have after this is hell... or worse.", Inuyasha said after a thought. "It's breath-taking in a bad way..." His voice broke. "I'm desperate..."

Kouga unconsciously shivered, quirking his brow to the new side of the mutt he just witnessed. Was he really so terrified he would show him - the muggy wolf - this vulnerable side? 'Something must really be wrong... But what?'

When this kind of situation arises, Kouga always thinks of one thing first; this time was no different. "Hey, mutt - where's Kagome?"

To say her name was the same as to lightening the explosive in Inuyasha's hand.

Tessaiga pulsed...

And Inuyasha exploded.