Liking Oneself II
Thank You
~Cliff Side Breeze
After finishing up the morning division work, Hitsugaya Taicho set out on his thank you errands. The cool breeze rustled his white hair as he headed up to the area that the small monument was built. His small feet made little noise as he moved up the path. Upon reaching the top, he made a quick bow to the two markers.
He then moved over to one, which had dried, white poppy petals blowing away from the cross. He took a piece of paper and tried to tie the paper down, only to have it blow from his hand, ripped open as the breeze suddenly picked up. At that, he found himself turning and running after the note, not noticing that two figures were moving up the path lower down.
Frustration caused his cheeks to puff up slightly at the fact that he was chasing a piece of paper like an idiot child. His hand reached out to grab the piece of paper as he came to a place that had a foot or two drop, only to have it blow out of his reach by a short amount just as his foot stepped over the edge without realizing where he was placing his footwork.
At that point, he suddenly found his body plunging to the ground, his teal eyes suddenly going wide from shock. As his foot hit the ground, his ankle suddenly bent in the wrong direction and he went down, just as the strap of his sandal also broke. The pain jolted up his spine, causing him to wince. Slowly, he attempted to move his foot from underneath himself.
"Hitsugaya Taicho? Are you all right?" A loud voice came to his ears. This caused the small taicho to glance up to see Komamura Taicho looking down at him, a worried expression on his canine face.
At that, Toshiro/s eyes turned to see that Hisagi Shuhei was in fact with hi, the paper that he had been chasing blow straight into his face. The man moved it away from his face and suddenly muttered. "I know that you did not like the fact that I became a taicho at such a young age, but it wasn't my choice to ever become a shinigami."
"Hisagi!" At that, the small taicho stood up, or attempted to. As soon as he put weight onto his one foot, he suddenly went down. "Give that back!"
"What exactly is this about?" The fukutaicho of the ninth division shook the paper at him. "It is important if you were willing to make a fool of yourself to rescue it."
"Because I hadn't..." At that, the small taicho clenched his jaw shut. "Just give it back, sempai."
"Sempai? Oh... this has something do do with the video Matsumoto made for you?" The fukutaicho raised an eyebrow at the small taicho.
"Hitsugaya Taicho? Were you leaving this letter on the memorial?" The big male stated, suddenly scooping Hitsugaya up and setting him down so that he was sitting on the small ledge in the landscape.
"That isn't possible as it would be impossible for Tosen Taicho to have been on the video. Matsumoto-san didn't start the project until after they had all let." Hisagi piped up, his mouth set into a scowl.
"Actually, Tosen is on the video." The small taicho glanced at the ground as the palms of his hands rested on the edge of the natural landscape ledge. "I don't know how, but Ichimaru borrowed the tape for awhile."
"What exactly did he say to you?" Sajin sat down next to the small taicho, his interest suddenly perked.
"He don't thin that I should have been made a taicho. But that doesn't have to do with my lack of skill, it has to do with the fact that a child shouldn't have to be faced with the evils of the world. He pities the fact that someone didn't stop me from entering the academy when I did." The small taicho then glanced away. "That is what he said."
"Did he really say something like that?" Hisagi suddenly found himself scratching his head, confusion written on his face.
At that, Toshiro let out a small cough. "I may have not joined the academy until after you graduated, but when it comes to the academy, I am still your kohai. You head all about my moving up from Hinamori, Abarai and Kira and got to meet me while I was still in academy, though you admit I may not remember that." There was a small pause. "I actually remember meeting you, believe it or not."
At that, Shuhei paused and blinked a couple of times. "You... remember all that from the video? That is... rather impressive..."
The seventh division taicho blinked a couple of times in surprise. "I don't quite follow."
"Truth be told, Komamura barely knows Matsumoto's small taicho. You do know, looks don't matter one bit. It is what is inside ones heart. I'm a very loyal young man to the causes I choose." Toshiro's eyes continued to look away.
Sajin suddenly found himself laughing. "My... those were my very words."
"Hitsugaya Taicho, please don't do that again. That was kind of... creepy..." Hisagi took his own turn to sit on the other side of the small taicho and grabbed the foot that had twisted about half a foot above the injury and lifted it up.
"I don't know why I do things like that, and that is one of those things that come. Sometimes, there are things I just wish I can forget, like a lot of what happened recently. It feels like there was a time I just could forget, but that I've lost that gift for some strange reason. Actually, it feels like there is this memory in the back of my head, the one thing I managed to forget, that is threatening to shake lose."
"That is something that Tosen would say." Komamura taicho laughed. "You shouldn't have taken his words seriously. His reason for not wanting you to be a taicho, is because he doesn't like the idea of the young dying before their time."
"If I die as a shinigami, it won't be before my time, so while that can be said about the others my age, it can't for me." Two teal eyes watched, not to mentioned narrowed shut as the small taicho winced as Hisagi moved his foot around, feeling for the damage.
"You sound like you are giving yourself honors above the other young shinigami." Hisagi stated, carefully removing the sandal as Toshiro felt a jarring pain.
"I need to walk back you know." Hitsugaya snapped out. "It will be a pain to put that back on.
The canine taicho laughed again. "Won't it be hard to walk back with a broken sandal?"
Shuhei shook his head and began to remove the small sock. "That is actually what I would have thought and would have lectured you about, if it hadn't been for what I read a few minutes ago. You do know that Momo is under the impression that you joined the academy of your own free will."
"I know that, Hisagi." The boy glanced at his ankle, which was already starting to bruise up.
"She thinks that you left out of youthful spirit, forgetting about the two of your grandmother." The ninth division fukutaicho shook his head at the small taicho's foot.
"Gomen, Hitsugaya Taicho, there is no way either one of us are going to let you walk back on that, not to mention our healing kido isn't as good as the first divisions." The other taicho's voice barked out, causing Toshiro to wince and look up at him.
"All right, all right. I'll place myself in your hands." Toshiro turned his teal eyes towards Hisagi then. "Are you trying to tell me that I should tell Hinamori the truth about why I joined? I can't... it will only hurt her more then her thinking that I abandoned Granny."
At that, Hisagi paused for a few seconds. "Matsumoto Rangiku was right about you and Ichimaru Gin taking thing too seriously, when it comes to thinking that the truth will hurt someone you care about. Honestly, what could be worse? You may think it is worse, but Momo may not. And this is despite the fact that she can look a the world in a very obtuse way."
"Really." The small taicho suddenly found himself spitting out his words. "I had to join the blasted academy because my reiatsu was killing my grandmother. You may think me entering so early was absolutely amazing, but I honestly hated it! I wanted to be taking care of her and yet..." A calming hand from either side was placed on his shoulders.
"You haven't told very many people about this, have you Hitsugaya?" The huge taicho's words caused Toshiro to suddenly look up, revealing the fact that his eyes were moist, but not yet forming tears. "I personally think, this is something that you should tell Hinamori Fukutaicho, as the two of you are family."
"Plus, if you let it eat at you, you'll end up like Ichimaru Gin is now." Hisagi piped up, still staring at the small taicho's foot, the corner of his mouth twisting up at the sight.
"He's really that bad?" The small taicho suddenly spoke up, a slight bit of concern in his voice.
"I just know what ever has him this bad is about you and Rangiku, and he is thinking like you are right now, that she will push him away." The man felt his mouth twitch. "Goodness knows I want her to push him away, but that is simply being selfish."
"You two wouldn't be a good match anyways. No matter how mad she gets, she's always going to be thinking about him, and only him. She'll also use you as her slave, something she doesn't do with him, and something you don't deserve." Toshiro picked up his foot and set it across his own lap, frustration spreading across his feet. "All I wanted to do was put the letter on the grave..."
At that, Hisagi glanced at the sky, his mind pondering things. "I wonder..."
"Nani?" The small taicho's eyes suddenly brightened up, only to wince as he shifted his foot without realizing it.
"You are sometimes to curious for your own good," the other taicho suddenly laughed.
"I was just thinking that maybe it wasn't Rangiku he is worried about hurting, considering she has been through a lot with him." Shuhei turned towards the small taicho and saw the look of confusion on his face and let out a deep breath. "I mean you, Hitsugaya Taicho."
"Me? The only person that Ichimaru Gin has ever shown signs about caring about is Matsumoto Rangiku." The small taicho let out a deep laugh. "Anyways... since the two of you are here, I might as well thank you for what you said in the video." At this, both of the older males suddenly glanced at Hitsugaya.
The first was to speak up was the other taicho. "Do you understand what I meant about looks not mattering, and that what really matters is who you are?"
"It is like how I don't care what you look like, and how I know you don't care what I look like." The small taicho found his mouth twitching at this. There was short pause, and then he spoke up some more, glancing at the ground. "Truth of the matter is, the only people who liked being near me when I was younger was Hinamori and my grandmother."
"How come I never heard of this from Momo?" Hisagi raised an eyebrow.
"There was a lot she never noticed when we were younger, a lot I never told her either." The small taicho glanced at the ground. "They still don't know, because I've asked Hinamori not to say anything, that I am a taicho."
"I am guessing it is because you want them to like you for who you are." Komamura stated firmly. "I guess you understand very well that it is the inner self that matters the most. That's how you know your true friends, is because they judge you by that, and will tell you when you do wrong and try to set you on the right path when need be, not by the way you look, or your rank."
"It is like how I still think of you as my kouhai despite the fact you out rank me too. I have fond memories of hearing Momo talk about you, and even meeting you after you joined the academy. Your village honestly didn't know what they were missing, by not getting to know you." Shuhei laughed, suddenly standing up. "I am going to go and put this on the marker."
While Hisagi stepped away, Toshiro glanced at the ground. "It must be hard for Matsumoto and Ichimaru for her to be his only friend. No one else ever bothered getting close to them, did they?"
"A lot of people thought he was trouble simply by meeting him the first time." The canine faced male glanced at the sky. "Don't guilt yourself, as there are plenty of us that are guilty for not ever trying to befriend him. You are also younger then the rest of us and he wasn't of your peer group. A good deal of us aren't blind to the fact that you struggle befriending even your own age group, and it isn't because you were a bad person."
"I never thought of Gin as a bad person, or distrusted him until I saw him chatting with Aizen like that. He was Matsumoto's friend, and I trusted him not to ever hurt her, and that was enough for me. I never hated him either, he was simply an annoyance who would play pranks on me and call me those stupid nicknames."
"So you never felt threatened by him when he was around?" Shuhei came back. "A good deal of people felt threatened simply by being around him, myself included."
"I've heard from Kuchiki Rukia that she felt like snakes were strangling her." Toshiro glanced away. "And Kira Izuru was always nervous because that man was around. I always felt weird that I felt comfortable, even safe around him." At that, the small taicho frowned. "Now that I think about it, even when I was fighting with him before he left soul society, I didn't really feel like my life was in danger, but then, I was furious at him because Hinamori was in danger."
The small taicho suddenly found himself lifted up onto the other taicho's shoulder. "Your foot is changing colors faster then I personally like and if we don't get you to forth division, all three of us will have something to fear from Unohana Taicho."
