Touhou Doujin: Dawitsu's Recompense
Chapter 7: To Teach an Overpowered Vampire
The Dawitsu Mansion, Early Morning
Dawitsu woke up in what resembled a cold sweat after coming across some of the creepiest areas of his subconscious (albeit consensually), and looked at his somewhat redundant alarm clock to check the time. It was about six in the morning, but Dawitsu was too afraid of going back to sleep to take advantage of the time he had to snooze.
Walking into the nearest lift to his bedroom, he descended towards the foyer. This particular Lift had a disfigured drawing of Reimu Hakurei's disembodied head on the wall, and a motto next to it saying 'Take it easy'. On getting to the foyer, Dawitsu sighed as he saw Ran sitting on the sofa, playing on what seemed to now be her Nintendo 64.
"Ran, aren't you going to take a break?" Dawitsu asked the addicted kitsune, "Oh, and you only need to punch out one cylinder at that height..."
Ran seemed to have tuned in mid-sentence, and only took on board the latter half. "Thanks, Master. I've been stuck on this problem for a while."
"Look, once you beat this temple's Boss, I want you off that game. It's not doing you any favours. I thought I was helping you by giving you something not work-related to do, but it's destroying you..." Dawitsu was sounding like a weak-willed parent rather than an owner of a Shikigami.
"What do you mean, Master?" Ran asked, seemingly unaware of where he was getting at, "Oh! Wow, finally, at the Boss' room, after all this time..." Ran suddenly burst into a fit of excited laughter, "Time to restore spring to Snowhead Peak!"
Dawitsu knew he wasn't going to change anything quickly. He decided to make himself a bacon sandwich in the kitchen. He shouted through to the foyer, "Ran, do you want any food?"
Ran remained silent. Dawitsu cooked extra bacon for Ran, Chen, and Yutaka should they get up. Ran suddenly spoke up, yelling, "Ha! This Boss is weak! My Château Romani milk has made those magic jars useless! Nothing can stop me now!"
Dawitsu, overhearing the gaming shikigami, face-palmed. "Heh, she's going to have a hard time when she meets up with Gyorg..."
He finished cooking the bacon, added the last of his Barbecue Sauce to his rasher, and placed in between two slices of bread. As if attracted by the scent, Chen appeared in the Kitchen doorway in her Pyjamas.
"Hello, Dawi! Are you cooking? What are you making?" Chen asked.
"Ah, a bacon sandwich. I've made some bacon for you, if you want it. Do you want it in sliced bread or a bun?" Dawitsu offered.
"Please can I have it in what you've got?" Chen replied politely.
"Certainly. Any sauce? Ketchup, Brown Sauce... Catsup?"
Surprisingly, despite being a cat, the pun flew straight over Chen's head. "No thanks, Dawi."
Dawitsu handed Chen's sandwich to her, and took her and his sandwich into the foyer. "Ran, I didn't know if you wanted any, but there's some Bacon in the kitchen if you want it."
Ran had just defeated the Dungeon's Boss. She laughed in triumph. "No-one can defeat my green-clothed human Shikigami!"
Dawitsu put his hand on her shoulder, hoping it'd make her actually look towards a person. "Okay, Ran, that's enough. Find the nearest owl statue and quick-save."
Ran seemed reluctant. Chen, who had witnessed a lot more of this than Dawitsu, suddenly decided enough was enough. She lunged for the controller, trying to steal it off her mistress. Ran was putting up a more than competent fight, so Dawitsu joined Chen's side, pulling as hard as possible.
After about three minutes of controller tug-of-war, Dawitsu had successfully taken control, and had quick-saved the game at the nearest Owl Statue. He then turned off the Games Console. "Okay, Ran... I want you to gain some new interests. Search my galleries, my library, take up drawing or a sport... anything but playing games. You're addicted, and your mind needs to break the monotony."
Ran was slowly coming round from the fact she'd actually been punished... in a way... by Dawitsu. She'd never thought it would happen... and neither did Dawitsu, for that matter.
"Now, Ran, I'm ordering you to accept breakfast instead of starving yourself while you play my Video Games." Ran started to get up, but Dawitsu pointed at her, and indicated towards the sofa, "No, don't get up, I'll make it for you. Just stay here and think for a bit..."
Dawitsu entered the kitchen once again, and part-way through his construction of the great tribute to the stomach that is a bacon sandwich, Yutaka entered the kitchen, quietly enough for Dawitsu to not hear her coming in.
"Hello, Boss. How were your dreams?"
Dawitsu was startled by both the sudden appearance of Yutaka and the question asked. He turned to face Yutaka, smiling awkwardly. "Oh, Yutaka. Do you want a Bacon Sandwich?"
Yutaka wondered if her Boss was trying to swerve the question. "Yes, please. So, how were your dreams? Is the pill Alice gave you still effective?"
Dawitsu couldn't help but want to say, "Boy, is it." However, he restrained himself, settling for, "Yes, it is. And, if you want the truth, I had a nightmare last night."
Yutaka observed her Boss' actions... he cut the two Sandwiches he was preparing erratically and inaccurately. He was telling the truth... but not the whole truth.
"What in particular did you dream about?" Yutaka began her relentless search for information.
Dawitsu handed Yutaka her sandwich, and picked up the other himself. "Why do you want to know? It's... sort of private, if you don't mind."
Yutaka playfully grinned at her master, "I'm just curious. Anyway, I know you... if you're reluctant to tell me something, it's an interesting secret. Did you have a depraved fantasy about that Nue girl or something?"
Dawitsu's face reddened, "Uh... of course not... look, just because she's my Sex Drive doesn't mean I have a thing for her!"
Yutaka started to walk towards the foyer, "Sure it doesn't. Well, if you won't tell me, I guess I really don't want to know. Who knows what kinds of fetishes you're hiding?"
Dawitsu appreciated Yutaka's misconceptions were keeping him out of hot water, but he simultaneously didn't want her to think he was doing terribly... terribly wrong things in his sleep. "W-wait! Yutaka! You don't understand!"
Yutaka turned around, willing to play her game a little longer, "Oh? Well, if there's flaws with my theory, please prove these flaws to be apparent."
Dawitsu tried to come up with an ingenious false story, but he knew if he hesitated, Yutaka wouldn't believe him. "Uh... I was merrily skipping through a field of flowers, and I was... uh... naked. Yeah, I was naked, and then all my work-mates from the Vet Practice came along, and laughed at me. Then I had all my teeth fall out while Mount Fuji appeared in the background."
Yutaka grinned with cynicism, and continued to walk towards the foyer. "Come to me when you're ready to tell the truth, Boss."
Dawitsu sighed. There was no fooling that girl... all the more reason to be in love with her. Sakuya and Alice both lacked that certain... knowledge of him that made Yutaka special. The way she teased him just then reminded him how unattainable she was.
"Hell, I should have deleted them all..." Dawitsu mused, following Yutaka slowly towards the foyer.
Scarlet Devil Mansion, the Basement, around the same time
Flandre stared at the scrawled characters on her wall. She was feeling... slightly betrayed, like she had been forgotten. Not by her sister, she knew that Remilia would know first thing if something had happened to her... she was actually missing one of her potential victims.
She touched the wall where the marks were, and then started to trace the shape of the letter 'I' on top of where it was written. She was so lost that she didn't even notice Patchouli Knowledge entering her basement.
"Flandre, what's wrong?" Patchouli asked daringly. "Laevateinn's fine, so what's the issue?"
Flandre jumped, and then spoke to Patchouli without looking at her, "Remi got me a new playmate, but it left me all alone... I didn't break this one, I promise..."
Patchouli was having a hard time believing her. "Are you sure you weren't just dreaming? Or did you... break it without noticing?"
Flandre got frustrated, "Patchy! I'm telling the truth! It's that strange stubble-faced girl with the short, black hair! She played 'reading' with me and left!"
Patchouli thought over what Flandre was trying to say... she clocked on that the 'stubble-faced girl' could only be Dawitsu. That, or Rinnosuke, but he didn't have black hair, "...So that's why Sakuya was crying..." Patchouli was finding it hard not to get emotionally affected, "Yutaka's going to be devastated... Flandre... stop fibbing... did you break this Playmate?"
Flandre pouted, like a child which never gets listened to. "NO! I said! She walked out... she said she was going to get a Dixon-Sherry to help with reading!"
Patchouli smiled both in relief and in amusement, "You mean dictionary. So, what's this word here?" Patchouli pointed at the scratched-in 'super-cali-frag-ilistic-ex-pial-idocious'.
"The sound of it is something quite atrocious!" Flandre explained.
"Oh? This game seems fun. Okay, I'm going to find this Playmate, make... uh... her finish the game with you." Patchouli didn't feel like explaining the male gender to this way-too-innocent-for-her-age Vampire. "I won't be long, I promise. Don't try at follow me out."
So Patchouli put on her coat, and bid farewell to the few fairy maids who were actually awake at this time.
Dawitsu Mansion, forty minutes later
Dawitsu was observing a chess-board intently. On the other side was Ran Yakumo. She had placed him under check, pinning his King with her Knight, Bishop and Pawn all while her Queen was actually in line with it.
"Wow... you're quite the natural at chess. Have you played before?" Dawitsu asked the tactical genius with nine tails.
Ran, in fact, had played it many times with Yukari, but didn't feel like telling Dawitsu that. "Well, I've played Shogi before, so I get the hang of tactical games easily."
"Perhaps I should introduce you to 'Worms'... at least that video game's a tad more sociable..."
"Oh, is 'Worms' a computer game? Because I'd love to try it!" Ran, who had been acting normally for the majority of the morning, suddenly snapped back into an insane gamer.
"Not while you're like that. Okay, I've got it." Dawitsu had noticed Ran had placed her Queen right in line with his Queen. He took the Queen, and smugly laughed.
"But, Master... I can just take your Queen with my Knight..."
"I know, I know. Go ahead. It's called the 'Queen Exchange', and I always try to set it up. A game of Chess is much more fun without the Queens. It lasts longer, and strategy becomes radically altered. People who rely on Queens too much don't know what to do in that situation..."
Ran's face turned into a competitive one. "Oh, it's like that, is it? I accept your challenge, Master!"
Dawitsu was about to reply, but the doorbell rang, forcing him to abandon the game and answer the door. He was surprised to see Patchouli here.
"Oh... hello there, Patchy! It's been a while... so, you and Yutaka gonna hang around here for a bit. Feel free to..." Dawitsu smirked in his trademark perverted manner, "...um, do what you like while you're with her..."
Dawitsu chuckled to himself while Patchouli resisted the urge to punch him, "Hey! This is important! Don't you have something to do? Does the name 'Flandre' ring any bells? I was talking with her today!"
Dawitsu screamed, remembering his duty. "Gah! Uh... Ran, ask Yutaka to finish off the game of Chess, I've got to go. Patchy, you'll be able to tell Yutaka where I've gone, right?"
Patchouli nodded, and said, "Flandre seemed like she was missing you. Hurry, or she may not forgive you..."
Dawitsu threw on his coat, picked up a nearby Dictionary, and remarked, "You're supposed to be encouraging me to go and play with her, not discourage me..."
Patchouli couldn't help but smile at that. She waved at Dawitsu as he left, and walked towards the lift to the Library, assuming that was where Yutaka was.
Outside the Scarlet Devil Mansion gates, twenty minutes later
Dawitsu knew he had sneaked out unbeknownst to the residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, so realised he had to sneak into the Mansion in a similar manner. He decided to use 'Copycat Sign: Spytron 3000', and got out what looked like a Cigarette Case. After shape-shifting into the shape of a Fairy Maid, he approached Hong Meiling, who was now back on duty.
"Uh..." Dawitsu tried to put on the most feminine voice he could, "Hello, China-sama. I was sent to take out the rubbish, and I got lost... please can you let me back in?"
Meiling looked at the obvious fake, but seemed genuinely fooled by it, "Since when did you Fairies use the word 'Rubbish'? The last thing I knew the 'in' word was 'Garbage', but I guess that fad words must come and go as easily as your little Fairy lives. I'll let you in, but don't disturb the Mistress or she'll make sure you die with no rebirth on standby..."
"Y-yes, China-sama! I wouldn't dream of waking up the Mistress!" Dawitsu replied, thanking his lucky stars that his British Vocabulary hadn't landed him in it. He flew through the gate as Hong Meiling opened it, and rushed in through the Mansion's front door. He then performed 'Copycat Sign: Invisibility Watch', and donned some kind of clock. He held it up to 'check the time' and became invisible, and rushed past several oblivious Fairy Maids as he ran towards the entrance to the basement. On the way, he saw Sakuya, who was wearing a worried expression on her face. She was cleaning a rather large, somewhat narcissistic picture of Remilia Scarlet, teleporting as she went. She was obviously stopping time to get the job done quickly. Half-tempted to go over and speak to her, he soon stopped when he noticed his watch was indicating a 'low battery'. He dashed for the basement, and forcibly came into view just in time for Flandre to notice his arrival.
She smiled, her eyes filling up with tears, "Oh! You did come back! You did want to play with me! I thought you might have been scared because I break everything... but don't worry!" Flandre ran up to Dawitsu, hugging him tightly, "Because I'll take very good care of you!"
Half-constricted, Dawitsu gasped, "I... got... the Dictionary..."
Flandre noticed the book in his hand, and instantly snatched it off him. "I want to see a word!"
She turned to around the middle, and read in fragments a random word, "Mi... cro... sc-ope..."
Dawitsu read over her shoulder to make sure she was correct. "That's right, Flandre. You're as good at reading as you are at writing!"
Smart enough to know that may or may not be considered a compliment, Flandre giggled in false modesty, "Oh, but I'm not that good at writing..."
"Well, lets check how you are at reading a bit more, shall we? The definition... that is, what it means, is underneath the word. So, what does the word 'Microscope' mean?"
"A... de...v-ice... us... ed... no, used... to... ob...serve ob...jects... too s-mall for the hu...man... eye." Flandre then pieced the sentence together properly. "A device used to observe objects too small for the human eye! I did it! Didn't I?"
Dawitsu nodded. "That was perfect. You're a quick learner, and a willing one at that. As soon as you saw the Dictionary, you wanted to see! Do you want to learn anything else?"
Flandre smiled, "Do you know where Vampires come from?"
Dawitsu seemed to recall something about Flandre never being told that Vampires actually suck blood from humans, and was only given cake and sweets with blood in them.
"...unfortunately, no, I don't."
"Do you know where humans come from? Because I know Vampires come from humans..."
Dawitsu blushed. He may have not been one himself, but he knew that the human breeding pattern was just like that of a Youkai... and he knew he couldn't tell Flandre that either.
"Uh... I only know where Youkai come from. I'm not a human, you see..."
"You're not a human? But Remi usually only gives me humans..."
Speaking of humans, Sakuya's voice could be heard at the top of the basement stairs. She seemed to be saying, "I'm not going to pick up... his remains... I once loved him!"
Remilia's voice turned almost forgiving, "Fine, fine, I'll pick him up later, then. But you still have to deliver Flandre's food, so you'll have to see him... if there's anything left of him... anyway."
"...Yes, Mistress." With that, Sakuya opened the basement door, and walked slowly down the basement stairs, fearing the worst. When she saw Dawitsu standing up right next to Flandre, she almost cried with joy. "D-D-Dawitsu? You're... you're..."
"Yes, I'm still alive." Dawitsu said, "You should trust Flandre more..."
Sakuya placed the tray of cakes on the floor, letting Flandre eat them to her heart's content. "So... what did you do?"
"Well, I just decided to play... 'reading' with her. She's a really smart girl, is Flandre. She's picking up everything I teach her easily. I was thinking of teaching her mathematics today..."
Flandre, who's mouth was full of human cake, muffled, "What's Mathematics?"
Dawitsu smiled, "Ah... well, I'll show you. There are ten types of squiggle which mean a number..."
Sakuya watched, amazed. Dawitsu continued, "And if you put numbers next to each other, they become even bigger. So..." Dawitsu drew the numbers zero to nine. "That oval means nothing. The line is one, that curve there is two, the backwards 'e' is three, the triangle with two lines coming off is four, that curve is five, the loop with a tail going up is six, that pair of lines is seven, the two loops are eight, and the loop with the tail going down..."
Flandre was watching intently. "So, why do you need to write down nothing?"
"Well, like I said before, putting numbers together makes them bigger. So, for example, here is a big number..." he wrote down the number '495'. "The first number along is for all the hundreds, the second one along is for all the tens, and the five is for all the lots of one."
Flandre studied the number carefully. "There's... four hundreds... and nine tens... and five ones... Four Hundred, Nine tens and five! That's the number, right?"
Dawitsu suddenly remembered he was teaching from scratch, and that Flandre didn't know her ten times-table. "Nine tens is called Ninety. Similarly, four tens are called forty, and six tens sixty."
"Oh, okay. So is it Four Hundred and Ninety Five?" Flandre asked.
Sakuya knew the significance of the number, "Yes, it is Flandre. It's how old you are..."
Flandre stopped, and looked at the number, trying to evaluate it. "So, ten comes after nine, and it's written one-nothing. Is a hundred ten tens?"
Dawitsu was shocked at how she came to that conclusion on her own, "Yes, it is... that's amazing, Flandre..."
Flandre didn't get why it was so special. "But you still know a lot more than I do about numbers. So you don't really find it amazing, do you?"
Dawitsu smiled, "No, Flandre... it is amazing. You haven't been taught how to count before, but yet you know how to deduce numbers just like that..."
"Well, I have counted how long I've been in here, using this..." Flandre showed a place on the wall which was so covered in scratches that it seemed more like the natural colour of the wall than a set of scratches. "I didn't have a short name for it, I just called it eleven lots of nine fives..."
Sakuya and Dawitsu were both sufficiently amazed at her truly mathematical brain... the only thing Dawitsu could really teach her is the decimal system of writing numbers... perhaps some calculus at best. Even then, something told Dawitsu she probably would figure out algebraic equations for the gradients of a curve as easily as she did her age...
Sakuya eventually left Dawitsu to teaching the insanely friendly, insanely gifted Vampiress. Patchouli returned after a while, and upon checking the basement, was proud to see that Flandre was becoming more clued-up about the world. The only one in the house who didn't know now was the Mistress herself...
Author's Notes: Gaaaaah! Adorable! I'm loving writing Flandre... and game-addict Ran. I don't know, I think it's because she already has a vague understanding of the Outside World that it makes sense in my head that she grows to like video games. Instead of Sakuya, who's just glad she can throw virtual knives as well as real ones, meh heh heh.
I... have nothing more to say. I think these author's notes won't take up half a page after all...
