OMAKE-SHOO!

(bonus-chapter)

Sasuke's 10 Things I Must

Bored of doing nothing but to strut around Orochimaru's lair, the Super Wonder Boy Uchiha Sasuke-kun devised a way to kill time: write poetry!

But he sucked. So, he decided he'll have fun by writing ten things he must do before his pathetic life expire.

Stealing beautiful pink and black stationery from the bookstore next door and a Parker ball point pen, he began to write the ten things he must do starting from number ten up to one.

10. I must eat at least 2000 tomatoes before I die

9. I must kick that arrogant Hyuga's ass 100 times

8. I must kill Itachi in 200 ways

7. I must increase my…breast? NO! Shit! Shit!6. I must discover how Sakura looks like in her pink underwear

FANS: HENTAI!

He kicked the fans away.

"Where was I?"

Ah.

5. I must increase the size of my… his eyes widened...groin? SHIT! SHIT!

4. I must read that orange book to know why Kakashi blush every time he reads it.

3. I must defeat the dobe in a one-on-one showdown of janken

2. I must shove a finger up to Orochimaru's nose and say Rei Gun

1. I must NOT fall in love with Sakura or else I WILL go back to Konoha.

He stared hard on the item no. 1.

Smirking devilishly, he imagined her face, her smile and her tears.

Of course, someday, someday, he'll come back to reclaim his… future… Mrs. Uchiha.

I'll kick some major Dobe ass if I have to.

Heh. As if he'll stand a chance against me. Dobe's ugly and me? Mister Drop dead Gorgeous—hah!

Just wait.

Someday for sure, he'll come back.

To make her name and his

…the same.

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Sasuke stepped out of his apartment. At 19, he's a man with great kickass hormones, which normally go wild as… evening came. He smirked, his dark thick-lashed eyes gleaming with erotic satisfaction.

Beautiful curvaceous legs, plump lips that look like tomatoes, delicious mounds with pink tips… damn, he can go insane just by looking down to her.

Last night—

He could no longer control his desire.

CLICK!

He grabbed her roughly, eliciting a feverish gasp from her.

CLICK!

Insanely hungry, he ravaged her mouth. She seemed to like his tongue-filled violent kiss for she feverishly returned his kiss.

CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!

Snapshots.

Photographs.

Pictures.

Photos.

Whatever you call it.

The secret was out.

And…

TING!

Konoha Found Out!

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They became an official couple two days before September ended. The Official Sasuke-kun is So Lovely Fans' Club heard the news, thought it as another rumor brought about by some pranksters just to annoy them and see them run around the Village like horde of elephants.

But it is true.

Lovely boy Sasuke-kun and Lovely girl (ignore the forehead) Sakura are now a couple.

Dozens and dozens of pictures of them holding hands, eating lunch together, sitting on a single swing and heatedly making out under the shade of Cherry Blossom tree last night circulated all around the village, shocking the good people of Konoha.

Shock… was an understatement.

Why, the good people of Konoha didn't know that Sasuke IS human. Least of all, capable of making out (almost in frenzy) with a GIRL. But the pictures were genuine!

Said the photographer-slash-stalker.

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"Sasuke-kuuuuuun!" he loved her but it didn't mean he liked listening to her high-pitched 'Sasukeeeeeeee-kuuuuuuuuuun'.

"Hn."

Beautiful, curvaceous and blessed with prefect full breasts and very nice ass, she really was a delicious candy to look at. Plus, she's smart, strong (though he is stronger and always would be), she's a VERY good kisser, sexy, loved him so much and was willing to bear thousands of Uchiha babies.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, guess what's up?" she exclaimed, her gorgeous green eyes were wide.

He cocked his head sideward. "What?"

She pouted. "Guess!"

He pulled down a shiny lock of hair hanging from the side of her head.

"Ow! So mean!" she stuck out her tongue.

Heh. She's still a child.

"So childish."

And he was rewarded with a punch in the head.

He groaned. Damn it. What a crazy strength. He thought glumly, rubbing his sore head where Sakura bonked him.

She stuck out her tongue again, wagging it sideways. "You're so mean! Big mean bad wolf—beh, beh, beh—!"

Suddenly, a dirty thought crossed his mind. Eyes glinting maliciously, he grabbed the back of her head and roughly took her tongue inside his mouth with his teeth.

Sakura gasped, eyes widening.

What a dirty, dirty—! Her thoughts were rudely interrupted as Sasuke began to suck her tongue like lollipop.

Sasuke deliciously suckled her tongue, making a juicy sound in the process. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the taste of her tongue inside his mouth, sucking it with intense vigor. Uchiha loved the feeling of her tongue touching his; it almost made him more human with earthly needs. He sucked forcefully and felt his body hardened, his mind blurred irrationally and eventually conjured wild pornographic images of her.

Sakura was feeling very gooey between her legs as tasty slurping sounds filled her ears and was about to make a dirty maneuver herself when Sasuke abruptly released her tongue.

Panting, she took a step back. "…you…!" she whacked him hard at the back of the head, her face was so reeeeeeeeeed that it made Sasuke smirked in spite of the stinging pain at the back of his precious head.

"You didn't like it? Was I too rough or gentle?" he smirked devilishly and gasped as Sakura whacked him hard again. Shit. What a crazy, crazy strength.

"I told you not to tongue me when I'm in a middle of my speech!" she screeched, still red. Of course, she could not lie to herself. She enjoyed it immensely, though the arrogant Uchiha took advantage of her.

Sasuke smirked. "Your tongue was so delicio—"

Bam, again.

"Stop it! Don't talk! And don't LOOK at me like that!" she said hotly, blushing furiously.

"Why? Am I turning you on?".He liked teasing her and watching her flushed with anger.

She blushed so hard that Sasuke thought she's going to burst. So cute.

"You dirty arrogant—"

"But you liked it."

"SHUT UP! I said don't talk!" she snapped, lifting her fist to him. Sasuke smirked and watched her stomped away in front of him.

Very…very…nice ass…too bad, she's so immature.

She suddenly spun around to face him. Her green eyes narrowed dangerously. "What are you looking at! What's with THAT look?" her brows started to twitch. She knew that LOOK.

That dirty, dirty Look.

The Uchiha chuckled. "Nothing. Just admiring you nice ass—ops!" he ducked as Sakura threw her shoe.

"YOU—! YOU SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH KAKASHI AND NARUTO THAT YOUR BLOOD IS SLOWLY TURNING TO GREEN!" she shrieked.

He chuckled, picking up her thrown shoe.

"STOP CHUCKLING!"

He smirked.

She blushed. "Go to hell." She scoffed.

Sasuke raised a brow.

Green eyes blinked. "I mean…damn you! I…I…" she chewed on her bottom lip. "Hmph! I won't give you a good night kiss tonight!" she barked.

Sasuke raised his brow, amused. "I don't remember asking for one. As far as I can remember, it wasn't ONLY kisses we shared, in fact," he smirked. "I think, we finally—"

Sakura could not take it anymore. "DAMN YOU! WE HAVENT HAVE SEX YET!" She screamed.

Unfortunately, a woman passed by.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The woman looked at Sasuke.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

…then at Sakura.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sasuke smirked widely, almost lustfully (to tease her). "We'll have, very soon, don't worry. Plenty of times."

Sakura's eyes widened horribly. Sasuke… had said it aloud! And the woman?

"Wahooooooooooooooooooooo!" the woman shrieked and ran away, shrieking like a wolf.

"Sasuke… kun… you… will…" Shadow passed in her eyes. Sasuke watched his little girlfriend with amusement. Oh, what a high-tempered lovely girl she was.

"…be…" she lifted her chin and shrieked. "DEAD!"

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

"Heh." Sasuke said and…dashed.

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When the pictures came out, there were many different reactions:

Kakashi was happy ("about time Sasuke hit puberty! Maybe I can lend them Icha Icha Paradise Volume 4")

Naruto was obnoxious ("what? It's not true! Sasuke-teme is NOT human! Plus, it is ME who Sakura-chan loves!")

Lee was unoriginal (The tide is high but I'm holding on! I'm gonna be your number one!)

Ino was…well, like a boar (HOWL-NOOOOOOOOOO…! That wide forehead girl bewitched him! I'm sure she made a love potion and poisoned MY Lovely Sasuke-kun's mind! Sasuke-kun will NEVER NEVER NEVER—huh? Oy, Shikamaruuuuuu where are you going? You're supposed to listen to my speech! OY! Listen to me— (Shikamaru) No I won't—WHYYYYYYYY—I'm bored—YOU LAZY BUM! You're supposed to show SUPPORT!—huh? On what?— On my endeavor of capturing Sasuke-kuuuuun's heart!— what? Uchiha has a heart? I didn't know that— WHY YOU! BAM! BAM BAM BAM!)

Kiba was unenthusiastic (huh? Who cares?)

Tsunade was relieved (so Uchiha's not a GAY…)

Hinata was happy, she's a good girl anyway (I'm...I'm…er…um…umm…s-s-s-s-s…um… so…. H….a…..p….py…f-f-f-f…fo…..r….h….er)

Ten-Ten was curious (OH REALLY? Waaaaa, I'm jealous! How did she able to snag him? Oy, Sakura tell me how! You see…Neji-kun's like…Sasuke, isn't he?)

Shino was…the unenthusiastic Number Two (Huh? Who cares?)

Jiraiya was inspired (this calls for Icha Icha UCHIHA PARADISE sitcom!)

Neji was uninterested (really? So, he has XY chromosome after all I thought he's a SHE—I'll kill you Hyuuga (Sasuke)—hmph, so you're eavesdropping Uchiha, I didn't know you can use Sharingan in eavesdropping?—and I didn't know you can use Byakugan in peeping into the women's bath where your female teammate bathesBLUSH- it was not INTENTIONAL—I heard you had a good time—Die, Uchiha)

Chouji was excited (I bet Sakura will treat us to BBQ lunch!)

Gai was overly sad (Lee was crushed! His heart was torn! His spirit was trampled! THE POWER OF YOUTH SHALL BURN FOR ETERNITY! Huh? What? WHAT? Lee was WHAT? Lee was going out with…NEJI?—no, listen to me first (random ninja)—NOOOOO, my student is straight! Like a hot rod! Like a hot dog! Like a—Lee's going out with—NOOOOO! Lee, don't bend that way!—idiot, you weren't listening)

Shikamaru was the Uninterested Number Two (really? He's a GUY after all...not a GAY—ops, a boar is coming—SHIKAMARUUUUUUUUU)

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And there are various reactions like:

What a lovely pair. Pink and black. Flower and fan.

What a lovely pair. A real girl and real…boy?

What a lovely pair. A princess and a rebel.

What a lovely pair. Pretty and…lovely?

What a lovely pair. Winter and Spring.

A PAIR MADE IN HEAVEN! A blind old woman said.

"NOOOOOO! SasuNaru is more heavenly!" A fan girl said.

"SICKOS! NaruSaku KICKASS!" Another said.

"IDIOTS! SasuSaku is COOL!" Another fan girl said, carrying a BIG banner saying 'ONLY STRAIGHT AND REAL HUMANS APPRECIATE SASUSAKU! NOT HOMOS…'

"COOL? My ass! Sasuke's female at heart!" Another fan girl said who carried another banner that said: 'ONLY STUPID GIRLS SUPPORT AND BELIEVE THAT SASUKE'S A MAN!'

But what that fan girl didn't know was that SasuSaku fans were FLESH EATING HUMANS. So another SasuSaku fan girl came and bit off Sasuke-is-female-at-heart fan's head. "DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (thwack whack bam beng oof gong swoosh BOOM!) How dare you question Sasuke-kun's gender! (BAAAAAAAAAAAAAM) Die you cowshiiiit!"

Then another horde of flesh eating SasuSaku fans came and yelled: "Yeah baby yeah! SasuSaku all the way!"

Then, another horde of fan girls arrived (carrying NaruSaku is THE BEST! WOHOO! banner) yelling: "NARUSAKU is COOLER!"

Then another yell came: "NO! SasuSaku is the COOLEST!"

And another: "NaruSaku is CUTE!"

And another: "Well, SasuSaku is CUTER!"

Then another: "NaruSasu is so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet…like candy."

Then, like what was mentioned above: SasuSaku were flesh eating humans that kick like horses. So one of them bit off a NaruSasu fan head. (GNAW!) "Go to hell you cowshit. (Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!)"

A clueless non-Naruto fan came in the view. "Twinkle, twinkle little star!"

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP

Poor Non-Naruto Fan…he was trampled to death.

"ENOUGH! The first reason why SasuSaku rocked is that…"

(What?) An echo said.

"Well, both of them are pretty!"

(twinkle, twinkle!)

(Suckeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer)

"DON'T MOCK ME! WE SASUSAKU FANS ARE SMART PEOPLE!" A SasuSaku fan screamed.

"Well…I'm—er… Globe?" Another said.

"Oh…Smart…connecting people?" a fan said.

(It's NOKIA! Idiot!)

"Making things possible! Whahaha!" Another lunatic fan said.

Another horde of elephants (cough, GIRLS) arrived, trampling everyone who stood in their way.

STOMP STOMP STOMP

"We the STARIGHTS vote for SASUSAKU! Coz we believe in the power of our dreams!"

Huh?

"We the HOMOS—"

"No we're not—"

"Oh yes YOU ALL ARE!"

"HOMOS! HOMOS! HOMO!"

"HOMOS! Sodomes! GO TO HELL!"

There was a great shower of fire-tipped arrows.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!"

"You stupid bimbos! You all vote for SasuSaku because you are ALL CHEAP!" A lunatic girl screamed, waving a big red banner that says: bimbos bimbos bimbos!

A great INHUMAN growl resounded.

"HAH! At least we're not homos!"

(boooooooooooooooo!)

(YUCK.)

"Actually, people who support NaruSasu are sexually deprived…."

(Wohoooooooooooooo!)

(YUCK.)

"And are sexually confused…."

(Twitch Twitch Twitch Twitch)

(Smirk.)

"HAHAHA!"

"Bimbos! BIMBO! Sasuke's gay so his destiny is to be with NARUTO!"

"What did you say!"

(DIE!)

(DIE!)

(DIE!)

(DIE!)

The arguments will go on and on and on and on and on…and sometimes, in between those arguments were bloody battle of all sorts: like janken, NaruSaku Fans burning SasuSaku Fans' hairs, NaruSaku fans kicking SasuNaru fans's asses, or SasuSaku fans pulling NaruSaku Fans' nose hairs.

Gory deaths were everywhere. Just for the sake of defending their beliefs…fan or not, you'll be dead.

Just don't forget to bring your banner. Whether it said SasuSaku ROCKS! Or SasuSaku SUCKS! It doesn't matter. Just prepare your teeth and bit some NaruSasu head!

(Hwacha! The battle continues!)

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"Sasuke-kun…I heard people talking about us…" Sakura said. They were inside Sasuke's garden of sunflowers, sitting under the shade of Cherry Blossoms. Sasuke's arms were around her body securely, his eyes closed as he tried to get some nap.

"Sasuke-kun, listen to me!"

"I'm listening." He grunted and tightened his arms around her. He slid his one hand up to the base of her neck and gently massaged the area.

"I said I heard people talking about us." She repeated, pinching his cheeks lovingly.

"About what…?" he yawned.

"About us!" she pointed out.

"About what?"

"About us!"

Sasuke grunted, annoyed. He opened his eyes. "So what?"

"Isn't annoying?"

He raised his brows. "How come?"

"They are talking about us!" Sakura insisted childishly.

Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes and rested his chin on top of her head. "Let them talk about us… Sakura, be quiet already." He scolded.

Sakura quieted for a while.

"Sasuke-kun…"

"What!" he snapped.

"They said…you're gay."

Hell froze over.