Disclaimer: god this is getting old… I'm running out ideas on how to make this funny! O my god! What am I going to do!!! Ahhh! Run away! Run away! 'how about you just do it the simple way?' of course! Why didn't I thin k of that?!? Thank you little muse who I will now call 'tired logic'! I do not own Harry Potter, no matter how much I threaten people… how was that? Tired Logic: could've run with it without the threats. You could get sued for that. Warning: Sirius is at some point going to jump Remus. Or vice versa. It doesn't matter. If this kind of relationship is not what you're into, you can comfortably read the next 5,6,7,8,9,maybe 14 chapters. THEN THE FUN BEGINS!!! TL: we have to wait that long? Fine! I'll try to throw in some smutty oneshot sometime…

Thanks to:

Rekaneko: I don't know why I do it, but I love to torture Remus and make Sirius an asshole. I do like my prank too. I basically pulled it out of my ass spur of the moment writing. You know? And my characterization of Sirius is just, 'what do I think he would do now?' no great thing, like I've written his entire history and I know exactly how he would act psycologically(which my comp is telling me I can't even spell right… god I need a beta…). I am very happy that you have reviewed for almost every single chapter. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!

MagicalWinry: OK! I DID! ARE YOU HAPPIER NOW?!? 

PaddyWaddy: Thank you for reviewing practically all of my chapters no matter how erratic my updating schedule. I guess it's a good sign if I'm able to make you hate your favourite character. That or it's really, really bad… whichever. I just can't help but make Sirius a total asshole. I'm sorry.

Suicidal Bubbles: Please don't! He's acting like that because…because...(quick! make some shit up!) He's been abused!(whatever, good enough for me!)

Chapter 7

Sirius strode promptly to the Headmaster's office after his encounter with Remus. He was proud of himself. He had taken Remus' slap like a man. He hadn't responded with violence, only with dignity. Dignity meaning he had acted like it never happened. Not acknowledging things that hurt you, makes you all the more powerful. Remus was so very weak.

The door that led to the Headmaster's staircase was left open, so Sirius just stepped calmly onto the moving staircase. When he stood, facing Dumbledore's door, he felt cold, as though his confidence was draining out of him. He forced his hand to knock, but the action just felt like he was trying to jolt himself out of a nightmare.

The Headmaster kindly answered, "come in." Sirius opened the door and walked in unfazed, as though it was normal for him to be entering the Headmaster's domain.

Dumbledore was seated at his desk with his long fingers loosely woven, and elbows resting on the smooth reflective surface. Across from him were four chairs, as if he was expecting more company than just Sirius. He sat down roughly on one of the middle chairs. With his arms crossed, he stared defiantly at Dumbledore as though he had done nothing to be ashamed of.

"Did you like my show?"

Dumbledore smiled a bit. "I quite enjoyed it." It wasn't the exact reaction Sirius had been expecting. Something more like "What the Hell were you thinking you worthless son of a bitch?!?" was what he had become accustomed to.

"Aren't you pissed that I destroyed school property? What I did was against that stupid school rule!"

Dumbledore continued to smile as he surveyed his student. "You did not directly destroy school property. And it really wasn't much of a hassle to fix. And, between you and me, I don't really punish people who break 'that stupid school rule'." Sirius didn't know how to respond. He wanted to anger Dumbledore, get yelled at. He knew how to manipulate angry people, but this calm 'you've done nothing wrong' demeanor was new and uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat slightly.

Seeing no verbal response from Sirius, Dumbledore went on. "But there's one thing I'm wondering about, how could you have learned all that magic in less than a week? It must have been quite a large amount of wor-"

"James helped me." Sirius interrupted Dumbledore, hoping to provoke him, his father hated to be interrupted by his ungrateful son. "James and Peter." But not…not…

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows in surprise, but did not scold Sirius. He merely questioned him further. "Are you sure it was just you three? Was not Remus also a part of it?"

REMUS! Sirius' eyes widened as he finally remembered who was not allowed to be included. Wasn't I just talking to him a few minutes ago? "No. He didn't help us at all. He just stayed in the library studying."

"Really? Because Professor Rorret told me that she had just recently seen all four of you in an unused classroom practicing spells and such. Other teachers also claim to have seen you four run off to go hide somewhere for hours on end…"

Dumbledore continued talking about other accounts of teachers sighting them as he pulled out a piece of parchment that had some notes on it. What did I say to him? Their conversation was coming back in trickles. He was yelling at me about how I was acting… 'Sure you'll be a hero for a few weeks, but then they'll go back and treat you like crap!' No they won't. They love me! No one can hate a Black!

"Professor McGonagall saw Remus and James go into the last room on the right in the Sirnef Wing on the fourth floor." 'Who gives a crap about them anyway?!?' 'I DO!!!' 'You'll just stay in the background letting us use you like a common whore. Teaching us how to do spells and not get caught. Thanks a ton Remmikins!' "Came back later to see you and Peter enter the same room… there's more here-"

"I need to see Remus, Professor." Sirius had pulled his head up and was staring at Dumbledore determinedly.

"Very well. I'll just tell Professor Flitwick to send up James Potter and Peter Pettigrew well I'm at it." He gracefully wrote down the names and gave it to the owl that was perched near him. The owl took it and effortlessly glided out the open window on a cool morning breeze.

"While we are waiting, how about a little game." Sirius glanced up at Dumbledore to see if he was serious, which is never easy with the Headmaster. "I'll ask you a question which you must answer truthfully, and you then do the same to me. It's quite fun!"

Sirius was no longer in a confrontational mood so he simply asked, "who goes first?"

"Well if you don't want to I guess I will."

"How do you know whether or not I want to go first?"

"You didn't fight for it, claim it when you had the chance. You only fight for things you really want. Now, what is the one thing you want for Christmas?"

Sirius continued to stare at the ground trying to think of something he wanted, but vague enough that it wouldn't give Dumbledore the upper hand. He smiled as he thought of an answer the Headmaster would approve of. "Something new, something I've never gotten before." Dumbledore nodded, smiling lightly. Sirius racked his brain trying to come up with an embarrassing question, but decided to ask a question he was sure every student wanted to ask Dumbledore.

"How old are you?"

Dumbledore let go a good belly laugh before he looked back at Sirius to answer his question. "Older than you."

Sirius felt ripped off. "That's not an answer!"

"Yes it is, it's truthful too. Now," Sirius fell back into his chair and pouted. "How's your relationship with your father?" At that Sirius' eyes went wide and he stared up at the Headmaster.

They narrowed after a second as he spat out his response. "Oh, why we're bestest buddies. Whenever we go walking down the street, arm in arm, people always turn and say, 'there goes Mr. Black and his son! Happy as ever, those two must be! If only our relationship with our children was a great as those two!'" Dumbledore seemed pleased with that answer as he nodded at Sirius to ask his question. He was fuming at this point, he wanted Dumbledore to recognize his pain and anger. He couldn't hold it in and yelled his question at the smiling Headmaster. "What about you? How's you relationship with your father?!?"

"Well he quite dead now, so we don't get a chance to talk much, but as a child we never saw eye to eye all the time. Sure we had our disagreements, but it never turned violent. Now Sirius, I ask this out of courtesy, but please refrain from restating my questions back to me. It's less fun when you don't come up with your own questions. Remember that first question you asked me? That was a fun question! Where were we? Ah, yes. How are you handling that voice of yours?"

Sirius started and jumped out of his chair. "How the Hell did you know about that?!?"

Dumbledore just smiled down at Sirius, when a knock was heard at the door. "Professor?" It was James' voice.

"Come in." Dumbledore slid right back into his headmaster mindset. Sirius slowly backed down into his chair. The door opened revealing James, Peter, and slumped behind him was Remus.

James covered the distance between him and Sirius in next to no time flat. He sat in the chair right next to him, sitting straight and proud, as if Sirius had done nothing he wasn't fully supporting him on. Peter sat in the seat next to James leaving Remus to take the other chair next to Sirius. When he seated himself he curled slightly in the side of the chair farthest from Sirius and shot him a look of hurt and betrayal. Sirius turned towards him a bit and whispered out of the corner of his mouth. "Remus, I'm sorry…"

"So!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together excitedly. He was now in the mental state of a curious and excited child. "How did you all manage it? I have never seen such bright first year students." James was the first to answer him.

"Sir, Professor if I may," the headmaster nodded. "I have no idea why Remus is here, but entire fiasco was controlled by us three. Peter took care of the fireworks, I did the fog and the bats, and Sirius manipulated the wolves. Remus was in the dorm or the library for all we knew."

Dumbledore rested his chin lightly on his crisscrossed fingers and smiled. "I'll answer you're question first James Potter. Remus is here simply because Sirius requested his presence." All of the boys' heads turned to look at Sirius. James looked about ready to punch him, again. Remus looked confused and hurt, but a little curious. And Peter looked at him with a wondering expression.

"Now it seems like you all have a lot to talk about. There is no punishment for what you've done, this time. You are allowed to go." That was faster than any of them could've hoped. They all stood up and headed for the door. "And boys," they stopped and turned around, "I can't wait to see what you'll think up for the Christmas Ball. You have a full two months." His eyes twinkled merrily at the thought of what they might do. Remus was the one to give a response.

"I don't think we will sir. There's not really something scary about a herd of rabid reindeer." They left too quickly to hear Dumbledore laugh and whisper under his breath.

"We shall see young pup. We shall see…"

They had just gotten down the stairs when James pushed Sirius into the opposite wall. "What did you need to tell Remus?"

"Nothing that concerns you." Sirius responded stoically as he went up and rubbed his right shoulder, he was pretty sure he heard something crack when he hit the wall.

James was about to continue his rant, but Remus beat him. He turned his back and walked away. "I have no interest in anything he wants to say to me." James and Peter took off after him after a quick glance back at Sirius leaning against the wall for support, holding his unmoving arm.

"Don't you think that was a little harsh?" Peter piped up when they caught up to him.

Remus' eyes stayed forward, but narrowed slightly. "Just a taste of his own medicine." He said coldly. Peter shrunk back a bit at his tone and Remus turned to look at him. He gave a weak smile. "Don't worry Pete, it has nothing to do with you guys."

James looked relieved. "Thank goodness. He was weirding me out back there. I just hope you two get this settled before the Christmas Ball. You heard Dumbledore, we have to do something amazing!"

Remus laughed a little. "Got anything in mind, cause I'm fresh out of ideas."

"How about this! We tie up all the Slytherins and have them pull our sleigh, while we all dress up as Santas and chuck presents at the crowd!" James explained excitedly. They all began laughing at the imagery. "We put antlers on them!" "Oh! Oh! And little tails!" "And one of them has to have a glowing red nose!" "We curse them to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in unison!" "But they have to be out of tune!" They broke down into laughing fits leaning on each other for support.

They cursed their bad luck in timing, because the class they were late for was Potions, with the Slytherins.

The walked in about ten minutes late, everyone had already gone into pairs. Peter immediately latched onto James and they walked to their cauldron. "How lucky for you Remus!" Professor Slughorn announced. "You can be partners with Severus here." Remus walked slowly over to where Snape was working. It wasn't that he didn't want to work with him, it was just that, after his conversation with James and Peter the last thing he needed to see was Snape with a red nose.

Remus stood next to him trying to figure out where he was in the potion without asking. He's adding half a tablespoon of some kind of dried, flaky, dark green stuff. He looked up at the potion. He must be adding the Merkelp.

"Need any help?" Snape glanced over at him then went back to concentrating on the cauldron beneath him.

"As long as you're doing nothing productive, go mince and measure out the cilrag." Remus spotted where he was supposed to go just as Snape was about to point it out to him.

"Nice to see you're not an idiot." Remus looked over at him curiously. "I told you to mince the cilrag, but you diced it like the potion says." He pointed to the cilrag on the cutting board.

Remus thought he had minced it, but then again after that kitchen disaster on Mother's Day a few years back, he had never been allowed back in the kitchen unless he was supervised.

Just as Remus was about to 'mince' the rest of the cilrag, James walked past them whistling 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' under his breath. Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing, but ended up hunched over the cilrag, shaking. "Very funny Potter! Glad to have provided some release for your immaturity!" He glared down at Remus, who looked back, trying to keep a straight face, but it came out a little contorted.

"I'm sorry, it's just that we were trying to think of what we could do for the Christmas Ball."

"Oi! You boys over there! No fighting with deadly potions in arms reach! Settle this like the little wizards you are and go out back and have a farting contest or what ever it is that you kids do nowadays." The entire class broke out into laughter at Professor Slughorn's comment.

James walked back the other way, this time upgrading to lyrics. "Won't you drive my sleigh tonight…" Snape cast him the coldest glare Remus had ever seen.

"I have fall allergies. All those pine trees out there releasing pollen, it's Hell for me. Let me guess, you three are the guilty ones behind the Great Halloween Scare."

"Wow. It has a title already?" Snape cast him an 'I am not amused' glare. James and Sirius must've been rubbing off on him. "Sorry, yeah it was us. I taught them the magic, and they took care of everything else, except the wolves, that was mine." Snape looked impressed.

"I guess there's more to you than meets the eye."

"What?"

"Nothing, just hand me the cilrag."

During lunch Remus, James, and Peter were all sitting in a group talking. Peter was just describing the miracle of the birth of his pet cockroach when Remus realized he hadn't seen Sirius since the fight. "Where is he?" The other two looked up surprised, no idea what he was talking about. James was the first to catch on.

"Sirius? You got me. He just is the kind of guy who loves to sulk. He did this too after your guys' first fight. The one where his forehead got all bashed up." Remus felt a little guilty at hearing that. Sirius had to have done that to himself, but there must've been something serious going on in his head to have done that to himself. Remus said the first appropriate thing that came into his head.

"It's healing nicely, I haven't really noticed it lately."

James scoffed a bit. "But he's still the center of the gossip circle right now. That combined with the Halloween episode has kept him pretty interesting to the rest of the student population."

Remus looked down at his food feeling a little dejected. "I wonder if everyone is ever going to find out that we did it too."

"I could tell them right now." James made to jump onto the table but Remus got a firm grip on his collar and forced him back down.

"Not on your life James Potter."

When they finished they left their dirty dishes and went to grab their books for the next class. Remus led the small band with James and Peter talking behind him. As they reached the entrance James became aware of the fact that Remus had stopped dead in his tracks. Standing in front of them was Sirius.

James huffed, grabbed Remus' wrist, and started walking away, decidedly looked anywhere, but at Sirius. Peter trotted along behind them. As he passed Remus gave Sirius a little smile and a wave, "bye."

"Yeah, bye." He answered not taking his eyes off the floor in front of him.

Sirius didn't join them for Defense Against the Dark Arts or Divination. Remus thankfully didn't have to work with anyone in D.A.D.A., but in Divination he partnered up with James leaving Peter to fend for himself. They had started working with crystal balls, and that just made making fun in the class all the funnier.

"I see…I see…" It was Remus' turn to try and crack the crystal ball's code. "It looks like a dark figure. It's not getting clearer. It looks to be holding something. Maybe you're going to be visited by a mysterious midget with a secret message. Oh wait. It's just a smudge on the glass."

James burst out laughing, pounding his hand on the table. Remus looked rightfully embarrassed as he cleaned of the smudge with the sleeve of his robe. The class ignored James' outburst, but Professor Trelawney didn't.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for that very unnecessary raucous." Remus was about to protest when James opened his mouth first.

"Professor, he just spent the last five minutes staring at the ball describing a smudge on it. We just realized it now." She continued to glare down at them.

"No matter. Five then." The class looked relieved.

"My turn Remus." The rest of the class was fairly uneventful except for one girl who learned she was going to be killed in the next week by a flock of rabid owls.

Remus was getting very concerned over Sirius by the time dinner came around. He couldn't stand it anymore and piled some food on a plate, grabbed some water, and headed to the Gryffindor Tower. "Oi! Remus!" He turned around, it was James. "Don't tell me you're going to feed that traitor!"

Remus looked confused. "How is he a traitor? I didn't get punished." He walked away, not waiting for James' retort.

"Sirius?" Remus walked into the dorm. All of the curtains around his bed were open and Remus could see him laying there, staring at the ceiling. "I brought food." He said hopefully. He walked over to Sirius cautiously. He set the tray of food on the trunk at the foot of Sirius' bed. "Are you ok? How's your shoulder?"

"Bad." Remus sat on the side bed by the bad shoulder. He quietly told him to relax, and put the appendage back in place. He hadn't said a word or made of pain during the entire thing. Sirius looked over at him and blinked a few times.

"Remus, am I a bad person?" he asked him weakly. Remus looked confused. He sat on the bed cross-legged between Sirius' legs. He pulled himself up so he could look a Remus in the eye better. He repeated his question. "Am I a bad person?"

"What do you mean? As long as you haven't killed anyone I don't think you're a bad person." That answer did not seem to satisfy Sirius.

"Then why didn't you want to talk to me today?" Now he tried looking anywhere but at Remus.

"I didn't want to talk to you because you worried me." Sirius glanced at him with wide eyes before looking away again. "I thought you had told Dumbledore what we had done."

"But we didn't get punished. You were still angry with me. You walked away with out even hearing me out." Remus was the one to look away this time.

"It was because of those things you said earlier."

Sirius felt all the energy draining out of him. He knew this would come up eventually. He had just been really hoping it wouldn't be so soon. "Why did you say them?" He looked back up at Remus. He could see the hurt and confusion in them.

How was he supposed to answer? Well, you see Remus I have voices in my head that tell me what to do, and sometimes I black out and say things I don't mean. Yeah, that'll go over well. "Sirius?" Remus looked at him worriedly.

"Remus, I need you to trust me when I say that there is a reason, but I just can't tell you yet. I need you to wait until I get it under control." Remus looked incredulously at him.

"How can I trust you when you said you wouldn't give my name away to Dumbledore, but there I am getting called down to his office?" He was mad, Sirius could tell, because he had never felt this bad about hurting anyone. Remus had no qualms over expressing how he felt to other people.

"I swear to you there is a reason!" Sirius was getting desperate. "I just need you to-"

"To what? Wait? How do think I feel? Being dragged along whichever way feeds your fancy! One minute you say these horrible things and call me a whore, then the next you need to talk to me! I'm sick of it!" Remus had raised his voice to a painful level. It woke something deep inside Sirius. Something that woven itself into every fiber of his being.

"What about you?!? You won't look me in the eye! You say what I have to say is unimportant, and then you're bringing me food wanting to make up! I'm not the only one giving mixed messages!"

The silence after the yells was deafening. Neither wanted to provoke the other.

Sirius finally fell exhausted into Remus. He was so tired of getting into fights. "I'm sorry, I'm just begging you, please wait." He was able to feel some much needed relief as Remus put his arms around him. And whispered into his ear.

"Okay, I'll wait."