Love In Between The Tears
One Shot No. 7
by Trycee
Time-Line: Season 1 thru post-IWTB
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files, this is written for fun not profit.
"If you were a mother...You'd understand..."
Scully sat quietly on the couch as the words played over and over in her mind. Mulder plopped down next to her and laid his head on her shoulder. When he raised it she kissed his cheek and touched the bruises on his face. "Time to change the bandages, Mulder..."
"Aw, no...", he whined. "Can I just sit here like this with you a moment more?"
"A few days ago...we were over...today...I can't get away from you," she smiled.
Mulder glanced down. "I'm sorry about that, Scully...You know you wouldn't get rid of me that easily..."
She placed a small finger under his chin and tilted his head up like he did her. She kissed his lips. "I know...I don't want to argue as bad as this time...this was pretty bad..."
"It was," he said, pulling her close to him. "But you know I love you, don't you?"
"Yes...and you know I love you, right?"
"Yes, I know...you told me four times last night," he leered.
She rolled her eyes and then settled back against him. Mulder cocked his head. "Scully, what's wrong? I just said something and you didn't counter back..."
She shook her head. Mulder waited for her to speak and when she didn't, his voice grew harsher. "Scully, that's it! No more secrets!," he yelled, as Scully's mouth opened to say something but she couldn't find the words. She could see the anger in Mulder's eyes as he looked at her. "I had enough of that with the whole Father Joe thing...Tell me right now!"
Scully swallowed. "It's what Christians' mother said to me..."
Mulder's anger subsided quickly. "What did she say?"
"That If I were a mother, I'd understand...", she said, as a tear formed in the corner of her eyes. "I can't stop thinking about it..."
Mulder tightened his grip on her. "She didn't know...she didn't mean anything by it..."
"What do I say?", she said, wiping her eyes. "I'm the mother of two...but one died, one I gave up and now I'm dedicating my life to saving children like you're son..."
"That's the truth but no...You did the right thing..."
"Its hard, Mulder...Seeing those children...I see William in them...all of them...", she said, as the tears fell. "I miss our son, Mulder," she said, looking into his eyes. "I miss Emily too..."
"I miss them too...", he said, kissing her tear-streaked cheeks. "It's okay, I'm here..."
"Apart of us is out there somewhere...Why did I do it? Why did I give him up?", she said, as she bent over into his lap as her breath was sucked from her body as the deep pain was unleashed.
Mulder held her tightly as she rocked through her tears. "He said...Don't give up, Mulder...He said...don't give up...", she said, referring to Father Joe.
"Maybe he meant it for more than just saving me, Scully...maybe he meant not to give up on saving Christian...and maybe he meant it in searching for our son..."
"Two months later...God...If I would've just held out for two months, you'd be there...", she said,shaking her head. "You wouldn't have let them hurt us...I know it..."
"Scully, we couldnt've ran with a child...and they would've found us which meant they would've found him...They tried to kill him...they tried taking him from you...You did the right thing, Scully..."
"Then why do I feel like my heart is being ripped out of me all over again?", she said, her hand pressed against her heart.
Mulder smoothed his hand over her head as she lay in his lap, her tears soaking into his pants. "You did the right thing...You did what you needed to do...and you were right...think of all that they did to him Scully...what they could do to him...You protected him...It hurts...It hurts us both...but if I were there, Scully, I would've done the same thing..."
Scully looked up at him. "You've said that before..."
"And I meant it then and I mean it now...", he said, lifting her up so she could look him in the eye. "You made a 'Mother's Sacrifice', Scully...You did what you needed to do for the happiness, safety and love of your son...of our son...", he said, kissing her lips. "If we had kept him, Scully...he might be dead right now...they might have found him and killed him because we were too vulnerable. But you did the smartest and hardest thing you ever could...You gave him up so no one could find him..."
"But not even us...", she said, shaking her head. "And then I find out just two months later about the End Date...The world is gonna end...They're coming...and somehow our son is involved, Mulder...And we can't find him..."
Mulder nodded. "We will find him before then...We have too..."
She wiped her eyes. "Okay...How?"
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