When he'd come back to himself just a little bit, Esposito sat down in a chair, stared at the table in the room where all the children were seated and colouring.
'What is going on, Javier?' Beckett asked in her quiet survivor's voice.
'There's good news and fu- really terrifying news, which do you want first?'
'The good news,' Shane said immediately. 'Always go with the good.'
'Meredeth is pregnant. Seven weeks,' he told them and they all looked hopeful.
'That's awesome you guys, did you just find out today?' Lanie asked in a timid voice.
'Lanie, let me finish.'
'Of course.'
'She also has an ovarian cyst that's close to bursting and if it ruptures, it could cause serious, life-threatening infection, so they are going to take out the cyst so that...so...'
Castle nodded in understanding. 'It's okay, Javier, we get the picture.'
'Javi? Here.'
Carey, ever a sympathetic one, walked over to the man he'd always thought larger than life, a superhero like his own father, and gave him his battered stuffed duck. 'Emilio is a good cuddler.'
'Thanks.' Esposito thought of how Tessi would...oh, god. The kids. 'I...Andrea, what is your mother's number, I have to call her, I-'
'I have it here. Would you like me to call her?'
'Yeah. I want Tessi here. The twins are too little, they would only get scared and not understand it, but Tessi...Tessi needs to be here.'
'Okay.'
Andrea stepped into the hallway to make the call, and Esposito closed his eyes, sighed. 'I thought the worst thing that would happen today was that Meredeth would get pissed off about me having dinner with Victoria and then we'd have a good cleansing fight about it, and then awesome make-up sex.'
'Javi, shhh!' Dell shushed him, scandalized at such casual use of the naughty S-word. 'There are little kids here!'
'Sorry, buddy, I forgot. I'm just worried about Meredeth.'
'Like Mama and Daddy worried about me when my sugars were all crazy?'
'Exactly like that.'
'No be 'cared, Javi.' RJ walked over, patted the cop's knee. 'She be fine, you see. Lanie had 'pation fo' Finn, she fine.'
'That's right I did,' Lanie agreed, then looked to Lili. 'You had one too with Rosie, and so did Honey-Milk with Mallory.'
'See? Jus' fine.'
Honey-Milk walked in then, in her scrubs; looking around she found Esposito and wrapped her arms around him. 'Javi, God, I just saw it on the surgical board. What happened?'
'I can't answer that question anymore Jenny,' he replied dully. 'I need to focus all my energy on not losing my mind right now.'
'Why don't we take a walk downstairs, a little fresh air and some coffee while we wait for Tessi and Agnes?' Shane stood up, walked over to him. 'It might help you clear your head.'
'Uh-huh.'
They walked outside and nearly bumped into Andrea, who looked wrecked. 'I'm going to my mother's to pick up Tessi,' she told them, 'Nessa, Trini and Leo are already asleep, but Tessi was just putting on her pj's.'
'Okay, whatever, just get my daughter here.'
Andrea gave him a hug, kissed his cheek in support. 'Back in a flash.'
She took off for the elevators, using her staff pass for the quick access elevators while Shane steered Esposito towards the bank of visitor lounge lifts. He knew there was a little coffee shop just by this bank on the main floor, so he stayed quiet with his friend. Only when they'd found something to drink and were outside, sitting on a bench in the fresh June air did Shane open his mouth.
'I know how you feel, Javi.'
'No, you don't.'
'Yes I do,' Shane insisted, 'or are you forgetting last December my fiancee had a miscarriage?'
Shit, was all Esposito could think. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.'
'I've never been so scared or felt so useless to her in my life. All I could do was be there for her, to dry her tears or let her bitch it out and god help me but I've never felt like less of a man in my life going through that with her. You and I, Ryan, Dave, Gil, even Castle, all of us are guys in very hands-on fix-it careers and when we can't do that...this is what happens.'
'How did you not go crazy worrying about her, Shane? I know how much you love her, how...Christ, I don't even know how to speak right now.'
'I think we'll let it go,' Shane said dryly and made Esposito give a little laugh. 'I'll tell you one thing about doctors, we take the route that is the best for the patient.'
'Your patients are already in the afterlife when they see you,' he pointed out, but Shane shook his head.
'And I still service them by making sure no stone is left unturned in finding a cause of death. If I know a test is going to take a little longer but it's the right one to do, I do it. The doctors for the living are no different. Surgeons get a rep for being knife-happy thrill-seekers but-'
'Shane. Stop talking about medicine. Something, fucking anything would be better right now.'
The pathologist pursed his lips; he could think of only one thing at the moment. 'Wanna see the new ink?'
'Sure.'
Shane stood up, stripped off his shirt and held his left arm up like a scarecrow for his friend to see the tattoo, six lines of navy blue block letters. 'Pretty sick, huh?'
'I don't have my glasses on, and it's dark. What does it say?'
'It says Woman was created from the rib of man. Not from his head to be above him, nor from his feet to be beneath him but from his side, to be his equal, near his arm to be protected and near his heart to be loved.'
'That's beautiful, man.' Esposito rubbed at his nose, sighed. 'I'd never have pegged you for a human doodle-pad, though.'
'I like them. I know when Alexis and I have kids, I'm getting a series of hearts right here.' He pointed to his left pectoral. 'One for Lex, and as many as I need for our babies.'
'Oh, I can't wait to see Castle's face when you tell him you knocked up his daughter.'
'Technically I already did, it just didn't stick.'
'That's true.'
They sat outside the hospital, chatting about nothing of particular importance so that Esposito didn't have to think about the fact that his wife was fighting for her life and their baby's life. He watched, waiting every time a cab swung to the curb and felt disappointed when it wasn't Andrea returning with Tessi. Finally, finally, there was a sleek black town car that pulled up and Andrea popped out with Tessi still fully dressed and her backpack on her shoulder. She raced over to her daddy, and Esposito nearly broke seeing his little princess. Meredeth always teased Tessi she was just like Esposito but he knew the truth - all the best parts of his first-born angel came from his beautiful Meredeth.
'Daddy, what is going on!' Tessi said in a tremulous voice. 'What is wrong, where is Mami?'
'Mami...Mami went to the doctor's office today and he told her that she had something wrong inside her body, something that wasn't supposed to be there, and she needed an operation right away to get it out,' he explained in a voice thick with tears but he didn't let them spill.
Tessi's chin wobbled but her eyes were clear. 'I will go tell her not to be scared.'
'Tessi, Mami's already in with the doctors, they are doing the operation right now.'
'No!' Now her little face turned bright red and tears spurted out. 'I gotta say I love you, I gotta tell her that!'
'Tessi, it's okay to be scared, I'm very scared too, princess.'
'No!' she repeated and broke down in his arms, sobbing against his shoulder. 'That's not fair!'
'I know, baby, it's so not fair, but we need to be brave for Mami, just like she was brave for me.'
Suddenly inspired, Esposito tugged up his shirt-sleeve and twisted his arm to show her the scar from his bullet wound. 'See this?'
'Uh-huh.'
'Back before Mami and I were married, I was tracking down a bad guy with Auntie Katie and Uncle Kevin, and the bad guy shot me. Your mami met me at the hospital and I was very scared and in a lot of pain. I had to have surgery too, and you know what?'
'What?' Tessi sniffled.
'Your mami was so brave, Tessi, she didn't cry once until she knew I was okay, in my hospital room after the doctors were done fixing me up.'
Esposito watched his daughter process this and with a courage he knew came straight from her mother, Tessi rubbed at her cheeks and stood up straight.
'I will make Mami puh-roud, Daddy.'
'That's my girl. I love you so much, Constance Tessiana Marie.'
'I love you too Daddy Javier Esuh-posito.'
They headed inside, Esposito knowing that Shane and Andrea were following them like an honour guard. Once inside upstairs, Tessi zeroed right in on Dell, and for a moment, Esposito felt relief when he saw the tender hug and kiss on the cheek the little boy gave his daughter. He had no doubt that Dell would make sure Tessi stayed comfortable and occupied while they waited.
The time passed slowly, like cold syrup moving down the side of a glass, until finally - finally - Bruce and Harvey both appeared in the doorway, as did Daniel.
'Javier, can we speak with you?'
Esposito's gut bottomed out, but he forced himself to his feet, reassured Tessi that he'd be back in a few minutes. His tone changed immediately when he was alone in the hallway with the doctors and the nurse anesthetist.
'What's going on?'
'The cyst ruptured, just as we were about to remove it. She's okay,' Bruce said right away, knowing that would be the man's response, 'but we've had to remove her right ovary and a portion of her fallopian tube.'
'And the baby?'
'Just fine, but it will be touch and go for the next forty-eight hours. Right now we are keeping her under sedation-'
'She's in a coma?' Esposito's voice rose several octaves in panic.
'No, she's under sedation,' Harvey corrected. 'She is conscious but asleep. Daniel will be monitoring her around the clock. As Bruce was saying, we're keeping her under sedation so she can rest because her biggest concern right now is any kind of infection so we've put her in a private room in an isolation chamber for twenty-four hours.'
'Jesus Christ.'
Bruce put his hand on Esposito shoulder. 'Meredeth came through the surgery and so did the baby, that's the biggest hurdle. We're now in a proactive position which is why we're isolating her from germs that could pose any risk.'
'What about...nutrition and her body caring for the baby? What about her incision and everything like that?'
'Javi, I know you've got a million questions on your mind,' Daniel told him in his gentle-giant voice, 'but all three of us agree that the best course of action is to answer those question for you both together at the same time.'
'Can I see her? Can I at least bring Tessi in to see her?'
'Why don't I bring you to her first, and then we can make that call?'
