A/N: Thanks for the reviews!
Nick gently pushed the door open to Sara's hospital room, to come and collect her to take her home. He had been an unwavering presence at the hospital since she had been admitted, but the doctors had insisted he leave while Sara was being evaluated. He was there now to pick her up, and take her home, after the doctors had called him to let him know Sara had a clean bill of health, physically and mentally.
Sara was sitting on the side of her bed, dressed in sweats and a long sleeved shirt, which she had pulled down over hands, so that her still bandaged wrists could not be seen. She seemed so small, her clothes seemingly drowning her body. Nick strode over to her quickly, and she glanced at him, offering him a small smile.
He sat down, and pulled Sara into his arms. She went limp in his arms, and Nick rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly.
"How did it go?" he asked her softly. She shrugged.
"They said I was fine," she said quietly. "They said I wasn't a threat to myself."
Nick nodded. He knew this, but he still wanted her to say it.
"Ready to go?"
She nodded, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. Nick pressed his lips to her head, letting his breath wash over her. She let out a sigh, and wrapped her own arms around Nick. A knock sounded at the door, and a nurse came in pushing a wheel chair.
"Come on," Nick said gently. Sara rolled her eyes, but sat down on the chair none the less. Nick took the handles from the nurse, and gently pushed Sara from the room. He'd already signed her discharge papers, so when he reached the hospital lobby, Sara was able to walk out of the hospital by herself.
The ride back to their house was in silence. Nick was nervous. He was taking Sara back to their house, where she had tried to end her own life. How would she react when she saw everything again? He had cleaned everything up, and the therapist had said Sara wasn't a threat to herself, but that still didn't stop Nick from worrying.
He couldn't stop worrying anymore.
It wasn't just Sara's health he had to look out for anymore, but also the life growing inside of her.
"The guys miss you," Nick said, glancing at Sara. She had been looking out the window, but at Nick's words, turned back to him. At Sara's request, Nick had only informed Grissom of what had happened. Their supervisor had been extremely concerned, and immediately relieved both Nick and Sara from duty for as long as it was needed. Nick had told the others that Sara was feeling extremely under the weather, and needed some time off to recuperate. Although the lie wasn't great, they had fallen for it.
"I miss them too," Sara replied softly, her gaze then returning out the window. Nick leant over and grabbed one of her hands, caressing it softly, holding it against his thigh as he drove.
The rest of the ride was made in silence, and when they reached their house, Nick grabbed Sara's bag from the back, and escorted her into the house.
She walked in first, Nick's hand at the small of her back, a small sign of support. But she didn't seem to need it. Sara immediately went and sat down on the couch, and Nick dropped the bag on the ground.
"So," Nick started. "What do you want for dinner?"
Sara shrugged. "I'm not really hungry."
Nick didn't like to nag Sara. He hated it, actually, and he knew that she did too. But his main concern was her welfare, and he didn't need to glance at her body to know that she was seriously underweight. She had even lost a few pounds at the hospital, and Nick knew this was bad news. Whether she liked it or not, Nick was going to make Sara eat, and do whatever else he wanted her to do to try and make her healthy again, especially since she was pregnant.
"You know what?" Nick asked her. She looked up at him, eyes full of confusion. "I'm not really hungry either. But we have both got to eat, because otherwise we'll become unhealthy."
Sara blinked, and Nick walked into the kitchen, and began pulling pots and pans out of the cupboard.
"You want some stir fry?" he asked her. "Vegetarian, I promise."
He smiled at her, and to his relief, she smiled back, and stood up to join him in the kitchen. She stepped up to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, and Nick put down the pan he was holding, and wrapped his arms around her. It had been weeks since he and Sara had done this: just stood wherever and held each other. He had missed it, and he tightened his hold on her.
Maybe he was finally getting his old Sara back.
She pulled away from him, and leant up to brush her lips against his. She gently kissed her back, but then released her. He didn't need this going further, and instead opened the fridge, pulling out the fresh ingredients and placing them on the counter. He was going to make healthy fresh meals for her now, everyday.
When he closed the fridge, he turned back round to the counter, and found Sara pulling out a knife to cut the vegetables. Two people in a relationship helping each other make dinner.
But Nick didn't see it that way.
He saw his fragile pregnant girlfriend who had tried to kill herself, holding a large blade.
He almost felt his heart stop.
"I'll do that," Nick choked out, his breath coming out in rapid puffs. Sara cocked her head to the side, confused at Nick's tone, but handed the knife over just the same. Nick took it with trembling fingers, and placed the knife further away from her.
Sara knew why he had taken the knife from her, and she was angry. She wasn't going to hurt herself again, and she had told him as much. So had the doctor. But she could understand why he would react as much.
As much as she had hurt herself in her suicide attempt, she had hurt him just as much, even more.
She stood up, deciding that maybe it would be best if she let Nick do the cooking. She didn't want to worry him more. Instead, she gestured to the bathroom.
"Can I have a shower?" She asked him timidly. "I feel really dirty… I hate hospitals you know."
She immediately regretted asking him. His eyes flashed with fear, and she remembered why. Would everything she do cause this reaction from him? Would he forever be scared to let her do normal things incase she did something that like again?
She had done this to him.
And she hated herself for it.
She walked over to him quickly, and wrapped her arms around him again. He was shaking, and Sara felt tears well up in her own eyes.
She was such a selfish person.
Trying to kill herself was the stupidest thing she had ever done.
She hadn't even considered how much it had hurt him.
If this was what he was like when she had survived, she hated to think about how he would have been if she had died.
She sniffed back tears, and rubbed Nick's back.
"I promise you I'll never hurt myself again, Nicky," she whispered softly to him. "I never should have, and it was stupid of me. Please believe me. Please. I never will try anything like that again."
He pulled away from her, and instead cupped her face between his hands, letting his thumbs brush away her tears. She could see tears in his own eyes, and she felt more and more guilty.
"But the thing is, darlin'," he said. "I never thought you would ever hurt yourself like that. How can I trust what you say, sweetheart…"
Sara felt her heart break, and she threw her arms around him again, burying her face deep in his chest.
"I need you to believe me," she whimpered desperately. "I give you my word, Nick. I don't know what came over me that night. But I know it won't happen again. Please…"
She trailed off, and Nick let his arms fold around her tiny form again, rocking her against him again.
"Okay," he breathed out. "I trust you."
She pulled away, and pressed her lips to his again.
"I'm going to go take a shower," she emphasized. "I'll be ten minutes. Promise."
She squeezed his hand gently, and walked towards the bathroom. Nick watched her go, and when he heard the water start, programmed 10 minutes into his watch.
Just to be sure.
He needn't have worried. Sara emerged 8 minutes later, a towel wrapped around her head, and a bright smile on her face. She shot him a teasing smile when she saw he was timing her.
"Didn't trust me, did you?"
Her tone was teasing, but he could see doubt in her eyes. He just smiled back at her, and grabbed her into his arms.
"I trust you."
And he hoped to God that she wouldn't give him another reason not to.
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