Chapter 7 – Where is Onew?

Their Manager looked around at the stunned and upset members in silence, he knew it would be a lot for them to take in in such a short amount of time, after believing for 3 weeks that their Hyung was abandoning them. However he could tell this wasn't the last of their conversation on the matter.

"Come on, I still haven't had a message from security so we have to assume Onew has gone to cool off, lets go back to the dorm so you can wait for him there." they nodded and trudged behind Manager all bowing their heads in shame. Once they were all seated Manager turned to them from the front passenger seat, "I think you all need to think of a way to make it up to him when you see Onew again, arasso?"

"Ne," they all chorused sadly, all staring into their laps as the van started to move, taking them back home.

Onew was still running, he had no clue where he was or where he was going, all he knew was he had to get away from his poor burdened members. He didn't want to bring them unhappiness any-more, they had suffered enough at the hands of their horrible, worthless and burdensome leader. His rucksack was firmly pressed against his back as he ran though the spitting rain, when he saw the rain was starting to get heavier he contemplated trying to find shelter but decided a worthless piece of trash like himself didn't deserve the warmth or protection that would bring so he kept on running in the cold. After running for what seemed like forever his body started to slow down, his legs ached, he could hardly breathe and dizziness was crashing over him. While he had been running the heavens had opened up and the spitting rain had turned into a storm, the violent winds were blowing him all over the place, the rain pounded on his head and shoulders, soaking him head to toe, making it impossible to see and he could hear the thunder and lightening as if someone was banging drums right into his ears; still he kept running. Soon however, his body gave up on him and he collapsed to his knees, he stumbled to his feet but after running a few more steps, the same thing happened again. He finally realised it was a lost cause and instead started to drag himself under a big oak tree, for some reason he felt he recognised it or a least he should have, he tried to think but he was so exhausted, upset and worn out to remember. The tree's branches and leaves gave him a bit of shelter from the rain but it still drizzled all over him so he put on his jacket and pulled up the hood to try and keep dry. He slung his bag off his back and rummaged through the inside, checking the content. After assuring everything was there he pulled out his precious diary and his pen, he opened the book to the next clean page, usually he covered his pages with doodles, happy photos or smiley faces in the margins but over the last 3 weeks not one picture or smiley face was drawn or stuck down, all that was there was pages of heartbroken accounts of days gone by with his dongsaengs and their anger towards him. He wrote down in his diary like he had for the last 3 weeks, over that time his diary had been his only trust worthy friend if you can call a diary a friend?! Then he roughly shoved it back in the bag before the rain could destroy it. He huddled into himself trying to preserve heat energy and he thought where he would go next. He knew he would never be able to stay here after what he did to his poor dongsaengs, he wondered if they could ever forgive him for making them suffer;

"Probably not," he thought to himself. He also knew going back to his old town wasn't an option either, now his mother had died his father wanted nothing to do with him. He could always just start a new life, he guessed that was all he could do.

"If only I had been a better person I wouldn't be in this mess, why am I so selfish?" So after frustratedly berating himself for a while, the exhaustion took over him and his pained body went numb as he went under sleep to which he would awaken from as a man with nothing but a diary and a broken heart.

Onew awoke to a small group of men who were shoving him roughly, once he regained full consciousness the pain from last night overwhelmed him but he bit his lip to stop any sounds leaving his lips. It was either very late or very early as the sun had not yet risen but the rain had thankfully stopped. He looked back to the men and could instantly tell it was haters. They were often chased by not only their fans but the haters who were convinced their girlfriends left them for SHINee and wanted revenge. One of the men snorted,

"Lets see what we have hear... I do believe it is that Onew guy you know the one from... SHINee!" he sneered and all the others laughed as one of them kicked him hard in the leg, Onew just bit his lip harder until he could taste the metallic taste of blood yet he said nothing, he didn't even look them in the face.

"Aww, look at him, not such a big leader anymore are you?" they mocked, still Onew just sat there but it only fuelled their anger,

"Come on, don't you talk? Why don't you sing for us oh talented Onew? Come on I wanna hear you sing!" he shouted and kicked him hard in the chest this time. He grabbed One's collar and hoisted him roughly to his weak legs, "He is pathetic!" he said eyeing him up and down, "Just like the rest of those SHINee bitches who keep stealing from us, they are all rubbish and I would like to destroy everyone of them," he turned his head to look straight into Onew's eyes, "But I will go for them later, right now I'm gonna deal with you!" he swung his fist but this time Onew ducked causing the guy to bang it straight into the tree trunk and he cursed, holding his injured hand. Suddenly there was fire in Onew's eyes, it was weak like him but the protectiveness was still there,

"You will never touch them, you can do whatever the hell you want to me but you will never hurt them and it is your own fault if you were such a rubbish boyfriend your girlfriend dumped you!" and he spat at his feet, however as he did the others all crowded round him and the other guy shoved his hand at Onew's neck pressing into it so he couldn't move and whispered into his ear, "You'll pay for that you little bitch, no-one is there to help you any longer and I have a lot in store for you." Onew sighed knowing what would come next but he never fought it as fist after fist connected with his face and chest or when the legs came at him knocking him to the ground but never stopping as they tried to kick any flesh visible. He just took whatever they had to through at him and took it in silence, he whimpered at times and cried a few times when he felt his bones break but he never told them to stop, never begged for mercy. In his experience that only made it worse and he had been taught to keep his mouth closed and just take it without complaint.

By the time the men where satisfied with their revenge, Onew was a bloodied mess of broken bones and bruises, cuts and scratches. He was floating in and out of consciousness but before the blackness took over him he heard the men talking,

"You went to far!"

"How was I supposed to know he would break that easily? I thought he would fight back. Plus I'm drunk so leave me alone!"

"You could have killed him, what were you thinking?"

"I wasn't ok? Now lets just get out of here"

"What about him?"

"This place is secluded, no one will find him unless they know this place already"

"If you say so then lets get out of here" he heard their footsteps fade away but he was in too much pain to look up, in fact he couldn't move at all, every move he made sent terrible pain down his spine so in the end he just let the blackness overpower him and he fainted into the ground, a mangled mess on the floor.

Back at the dorm, the other 4 members waited anxiously, waiting for their wronged leader to walk in through the door so they could apologise and move on and forget it ever happened. Manager had had to leave them so they were left alone with their thoughts while they waited. Taemin was sitting on Minho's lap and sobbing into his shoulder, Key was pacing the room trying to think of places he might be or worrying about what trouble he might get into while Jonghyun just sat on the couch with his head in his hands, inside his head he shouted at himself over and over about how much of a Pabo he was and told himself the next time he saw him he would beg his forgiveness. When the rain started to fall all the members looked up to the window worriedly,

"Omo, what if he is still out in the rain? Think what could happen to him!" Key said in a very Umma-ish way which only made them more worried. Over the next few hours they found themselves dropping off one by one until they were all asleep, unaware of what was really happening to their leader right at that minute.

Key woke the next morning as the light from outside screened through the window and across his eyes. It took him a moment to register that he was on the couch in the living room with Taemin on the floor with his head resting on his Umma's legs, then suddenly with a jolt he remembered why. His whole body jumped to life and he sprung off the couch forgetting the maknae's head was still resting on his legs and he accidentally kicked him his the jaw.

"Ah, Umma!" he moaned clutching his jaw after his rude awakening but Key was too worried as he realised Onew was probably still missing, or if he had come back he hadn't woken them. "Key, what was that for?" Taemin still complained and Key snapped out of his panic for a moment to inspect him over for damage,

"Sorry, Tae. Can you wake your Hyungs, I'm going to check and see if Onew came home last might" Taemin's eyes widened as he remembered about Onew as well and nodded and started to shake his hyungs as his Umma went to check Onew's room. Taemin managed to wake the other two just as a worried Key stepped slowly out of Onew's room clasping a note. Jonghyun rushed over to his boyfriend,

"Key, what is it?"

"He is still gone, he stayed outside though that whole storm, but look what I found on his desk" he handed the note to him and wrapped his empty hands around his own waist, hugging himself tightly. The note said,

Dear SHINee Members,

I am very Sorry for having put you through such suffering, I pray one day you might be able to forgive me. I am sorry I ever troubled you, you need better than me. You need to shine without me holding back your light. Please be well and happy, if you are then I'm sure everything will be fine. You have given me some of the best memories I will ever have and I thank you gratefully. Sorry again, I will no longer trouble you,

Onew/ Lee Jinki

Jonghyun was stunned into silence as he read the note from his Hyung, had they really done this to him? Made him feel he was the bad guy and he needed to apologise to them? He had left because he thought it would make us happy, they were the wrong doers in this, not him! How could they do this to him? Jonghyun, still silenced passed the note to the others and bundled Key into an embrace. Once 2 Min had read the note and hugged as well, Key spoke out what all of them were thinking,

"We have to go and find him" they all nodded,

"Come on, we need to search everywhere, by the time this day is up, Onew will be back with us... that is... if he ever forgives us" Jonghyun said fading off but still grabbing the keys to one of the cars. They all piled in and as they starting listing all the places he could be, Taemin looked out of the window with sorrow in his eyes and thought,

"Onew Hyung, Where are you? We are coming to find you!"