Exam Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters and I am not responsible for anyone who is psychologically scarred for reading this chapter.


Naruto sighed as he looked at the angry genin who were waiting for their proctor, the notoriously late Kakashi, so they could start their first test in the chunin exam. He wasn't sighing for the fact that his former sensei was late, but for the fact that the kids were so anxious in the face that they were about to go through a situation more severe than anything they would face as chunin. It was no secret to Naruto that the two proctors had pulled no expense in making sure that this was the most difficult chunin exam in the history of Konoha and not just because of the tests, but the situations in which they would be taking the test. Somewhere off in the distance was a laughing Ibiki who was supposed to be torturing a captured ninja, but at the moment he was just watching the genin be put into a nightmare that he couldn't have made better himself.

"Well first he aggravates them and then he must plan to be the most observant proctor we ever had," said Naruto to Tsunade as he had started a bet between her to guess what the proctors had planned for them.

"I bet he intends to distract them with the worst techniques ever devised in the history of men and perversion," challenged Tsunade as she put some money into the pile that was slowly growing until it was just a big stack of money that other jonin were getting on, even the ANBU that were supposed to be guarding them.

"We'll see since he's here now," said Naruto as he sat back into his chair and observed through the tv screen in his office.


"You're late," shouted one of the genin as Kakashi finally walked into the room with book in hand as he wrote his name on the chalkboard and threw out written tests to people.

"Sit down, shut the fuck up, and don't start until I tell you to," replied Kakashi in a nice calm voice that had some form of danger in it that the genin couldn't place properly. "Okay, answer these questions and if you cheat I will be throwing a kunai at your desk. Earn three and you and your team is out of here. You will all be separated according to the number you received before you got in here."

Every genin took their respective seat without hesitation, all of them wanted this thing done and over with before they fell asleep. Kakashi couldn't help but grin at the genin that were sitting down and had no idea what they were getting themselves into because if they did they would be running for the hills. As soon as they were all seated Kakashi gave the signal for Gai sensei to come in and start the needless challenging in an extra loud voice. Gai had made sure his teeth were extra bright for the occasion and as he walked in with his trademark smile, half of the genin were blinded by the bright light that was shining off of his teeth.

"AH YES MY GREATEST RIVAL, KAKASHI IT IS TIME WE SETTLED THE SCORE ONCE AND FOR ALL," said Maito Gai, well really it was more of him shouting at the top of his lungs, but it was just the way he talked to people. "NOW HERE I SHALL FINALLY BE THE ONE TO BRING ABOUT YOU END AND PROVE TO ALL THE MEN….UH, WOMEN OF THE VILLAGE WHO IS THE BETTER LOVER!"

"I'm sorry Gai I didn't hear a word you just said," replied kakashi and after looking at the genin who were holding their ears an pleading that Kakashi not ask him to repeat what he said, especially a very small girl who had puppy dog eyes. "Could you repeat what you just said."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO," shouted the genin as they all ducked under their desks and received a kunai for suspicion of cheating. That's when Gai's favorite student was brought in.

"GAI-SENSEI," shouted the green suited student as he ran into the room with tears streaming from his eyes as he ran into the room.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

After the shouting match was over, the two embraced each other in a hug so tight that it left no doubt as to what their sexual orientation was and also left them with broken back as attested by the sickening cracks that were heard. Behind them was sunset that had appeared from virtually nowhere since they were all inside and it was noon. Something about the two grown men hugging each other like that, with their weird appearance added in there, was very creepy and some of the genin were immediately taken sick. One jumped up screaming, "My eyes. My eyes are burning!"

"Everyone who wants to go can leave now," said kakashi as he watched ten genin run out of the room. There were still ninety genin left waiting for the next tactic and Kakashi felt it was as good a time as any. So he flipped through the book in his hand to his favorite scene and then started to read aloud. "Mikoto had never touched a woman before, but at Jimpei's urging she found herself becoming aroused enough to start feeling over the body of the platinum blond haired woman with very large breasts that could be tamed by no bra. The touch of the warm flesh was awe inspiring and it may have been the cups of sake that she had been drinking, but something made her lust after the buxom blond that was in front of him. Slowly she became more daring as he felt the blond return the feelings of hands until each one of them was exploring the other's bodies with their mouths, letting tongues run over pink nipples."

"My virgin ears," cried one of the genin as he grabbed his ears and jumped up and down in hi seat before running out.

"There's too much blood, I'm going to die," cried another male genin whose nose was bursting with blood and a few other boys started to develop nose bleeds of their own.

There was a brief pause when Kakashi was done with the chapter and he looked around at the seventy genin still standing.

"Now then, all of those still here may go down to the Forest of Death for the second part of the exam," announced Kakashi as he walked out of the room, leaving genin to pick up their jaws.


"Well I'm glad I brought these earplugs along," said Shizuru as she walked along her team mates while getting the story of what had happened in the story while she wasn't listening. "So that's what those books are about, I always wondered about that."

"Yeah, I don't know how I didn't get a nose bleed, but I have to get one of those books now," said Junpei as he limped towards the forest and was surprised to see a tall man with short blond hair and black leather trench coat on, topped off with shades. "Where have I seen on that man before?"

"Holy shit, that guy is the head of a branch in Suna ANBU, my dad was talking about him," said the abnormally named, Teme. "I hope to god he's not our proctor."

"Okay everyone gather round," said another Suna ninja with shades on dressed in aregular outfit and had long flowing hair. "My name is Keiji and I'll be your proctor today, but I will only be introducing you and grading you based on the curriculum set up by my partner, Shenlong. Shenlong would you like to take it away?"

"Yes, thank you Keiji," replied the man named Shenlong as he stepped forward and started looking at them all with the gaze of a hawk. "Seventy genin, a good number for this little exam of mine. First I want all of you to come up and put on this metal collars if you wihs to continue, you cannot go onto the second exam without them and failure to comply in ten minutes will result in immediate disqualification."

The trio looked at each other and then at the genin that were lining up to receive their metal collars, but it was a bit more difficult for them to go up since they didn't trust the jonin with the shades on. After five minutes of debating amongst themselves, the group decided to take their chance and took a metal collar each, putting them on while Shenlong stepped up to a small box, which was unnecessary because he towered over others.

"Okay now then, the point of this exam is to make it through to the cave that's deep inside the forest and collect one of the gems in the cave," announced Shenlong as he started to slip out of his leather jacket, letting it fall to reveal that he was wearing a vest over a small black shirt with black pants on, geared up for combat. "You can form teams, but every single one of you needs your own gem and if you want, it can be every man for himself, just as long as you can make it through. Killing one another is permissible, but there are two additional things you should know. I myself will be inside of this forest hunting for you all, so you'll be safer in numbers rather than alone. Also, keep moving, your collars have explosives in them that are designed to explode if you stay in a danger zone for too long. The danger zones can grow and, almost forgot, you will never know where they are, all danger zones are invisible. Everyone can star going right now, you have ten seconds until the exam officially starts and I start hunting all of you. Have fun."