Under The Stars

:Suma Susaki:

-and-

:Kyo-K40-Sohma:

Hello everyone! Sorry it took so long to update! Kyo and I have been planning the rest of the story! Go us! We officially know that this story will be really long. We have all sorts of surprises for this story… xD. Anyway… would you all like this story to be long? Let us know how you feel please! We've been awaiting the arrival of this chapter anxiously… the writers! We have both written this chapter equally… and the plan's and the hard work put into this chapter and the rest of the story goes equally to Kyo and I. Thank you soo much for waiting patiently everyone!

Yes… Kyo and I have both read New Moon! (yay!) But we both swear that we've had this chapter planned for a LONG time now. So, please do not tell us that it doesn't go along with New Moon what so ever. Thanks in advance.

Disclaimer: WE OWN TWILIGHT NOW! YAY! Okay...not really…but it was worth a shot.… (sigh)

Anivanchic77, anonymous, bitmecold, Your Gothic Lullaby, midnight 1987, Hellish Red Devil, .heartbroken.poet., CrazyDreamerGirl, Fluff Freak, Katherine Cullen, TooMuchLoveforEdward, Hope, foverisabiteaway, Afallenblackrose, beridanwen, and Kaytoko!

Thank you to all who reviewed chapter 6! (smiles)

Chapter 7: Blood & Lust

Last time:

Yet, after all that thinking, I still wanted to change her. I can't. I won't. Yet, I want to. Now, I really can't, as I realized earlier. Her indecision stands in the way of us being together for all eternity. But, if it is her wish to be human, I will not force her into something she doesn't want. I'm foolish.

I call her indecisive… but aren't I exactly the same right now…?

Now:

Xx Edwards POV xX

Dear Diary,

I'm still with Alice and Jasper, they continue to watch me, maybe Alice saw what I was planning to do. I need to get to that studio and save my mom or at least go to my house and see if she's still… alive.

So...I'll ditch them at the airport. I remember the layout and I can get away without being spotted. Keep my mind blank and stay calm around both of them (meaning Alice and Jasper) and I'll get away without them seeing. I only hope that Edward doesn't come when he finds my note... I don't want him to get hurt. Especially if this ends up being a stupid move...

I threw a rock into the stream as I read her journal entries… one by one. I needed to know how many times she's lied to me… I had to know. I've already seen several times where she'd edited her thoughts around me… and than put them into this book. How could she not trust me with things, but she could trust a book which could get into the hands of someone who would read it… where they could take it the wrong way…

The way I am right now.

I sighed and looked up towards the sky. Only about an hour before Bella would wake up. I had to hurry.

I can't believe the Cullen's are doing this for me. It's insane for them to risk their lives for mine… a human; a lesser being. Don't get me wrong, I love them all so much. They are the family I've always wanted to have and more…

But I just don't see why they would want a human to stay alive while they go and kill a vampire. It's completely confusing, I know. I'm getting confused just writing this all down. Edward told me not to worry about him… but that doesn't stop me from doing so. I talked with him before James called. It was so good to hear his voice again. After we hang up, the clouds of depression came back to me… they're still here. I don't know what I would do if Edward was to ever leave me, or if something happened to him…

Oh wait… I know.

I'd die or kill myself trying to get him back.

-Bella-

Ps… I don't know what I'm saying...or why I'm saying it...but I know I'm going to die tomorrow... when I meet James. Good-Bye diary. Thank you for listening to my ramblings.

The more I read, the angrier I became. Almost everything I knew was completely a lie. I don't understand how she would willingly give her life for something she wasn't positive about and think so stupidly. She forced me to become full of only lies. Everything she told me I now must second-guess. There's something wrong with me… I don't understand why it didn't scrutinize everything she said as a response. I'm entirely lost for the first time in a few centuries.

I was and still am infuriated by her trust in a mere book then in the one she claims to love. So far, I question her wish to become a monster like me, I question her love, and her faith.

It was then that the wind decided to breeze by me, pushing my hair along with it--also, Bella's scent. I breathed deeply, entranced by her clearly unique smell…

"Edward?" I heard Bella's voice clearly as she called my name in her amazingly cute sleepy voice. I panicked. I still have her journal in my hands… and she's heading this way.

That's when I remembered that she would find out that I was reading her diary anyway… why not sooner than later? Plus, I could confront her now and it wouldn't be as awkward…

"I'm at the river!" I called back to her, fully knowing she was already on her way to the stream. I heard the rustling of her foot steps in the underbrush, and looked up to see an extremely confused and slightly angered Bella.

The diary was on the ground, open and the pages flipping due to the breeze.

"What are you doing with that book?" Bella asked me, her voice livid. I mentally winced under her stare…

It's now or never…

"What are you doing lying to me all the time? I thought you trusted me, Isabella." I said, making it completely obvious that I was serious by looking straight into her eyes.

Bella's eyes widened and she looked like she was just smacked.

xX Bella's POV Xx

What am I doing lying to him? What is he doing reading my diary! I guess this was all out to get me eventually… but that knowledge still didn't numb the shock I felt by the cold voice he gave me.

"Edward… how long have you been reading my diary?" I asked, more like whispered due to the still remaining shock.

"A couple days. And I must inform you that I will not be changing you. If you can't tell me the truth about things Bella, how do you think we'll work out forever? For eternity?" he asked me, voice pained. I could tell immediately I hurt him… I never intended on doing so… I was just indecisive. I knew I had to set this right before he left me… and I died from his absence.

"Edward… I'm sorry. If this is about the apple, I-"

"This isn't only about the Apple Bella… this is about everything. You seem to always edit your thoughts while around me… but trust in some book to hold your true feelings? Bella… I've told you time and time again, you can come to me with anything… and you've promised me that you would. If only you had been sincere with that promise we wouldn't be having this conversation…"

"Edward… you know that I want to be with you forever! Just because I've edited my thoughts or whatever you wish to call it, doesn't mean I don't love you or want to be with you! You should know better than anyone that humans tend to say the opposite of how they're feeling. It's how we are!"

I watch as he rubs his forehead, wiping away the imaginary sweat that was beading down his statue like features. There was never a moment I didn't trust him. It wasn't trust that stopped me from telling him everything; it was how he would react that scared me. I didn't put my trust in a book. I put my real thoughts in it, and that's it.

"Sometimes paper is the only thing that will listen to the real me… without getting mad." I whispered, though I knew he heard it. My eyes moved towards the trees as I sat myself down so my feet would be inside the icy water. I shivered at contact. I knew if I fell in—which I knew was a possibility... me being me and everything—I would loose myself in the insanely cold water. It was there on the bank, as those thoughts crossed my mind, that I saw a flower.

Edward didn't budge, I noticed, as I looked towards him quickly after my discovery. He seemed to be looking at the water, the same way he was yesterday morning.

"Edward… let me tell you something, ok?" I whispered, trying my best to sound sincere. I looked straight at him… and waited for him to lift his head up.

He never did.

I sighed, and felt tears start to brim at my eyes.

"Edward… you and I have both been through so much… and that comes from both being complete opposites. Me… human, clumsy, normal, not beautiful, breakable, helpless, me. You… Vampire, coordinated, abnormal, breathtakingly beautiful, rock-hard, strong, you…" I laughed at the irony of it all, "They always say opposites attract. We're living proof. And so is that flower over there…" I pointed in the direction of a blood red and snow white flower growing up from the dying leaves with the green scenery set around it.

Edward finally looked at me, eyes showing grief, before moving his dark eyes towards the flower.

I have his attention… don't loose him Bella…

"Edward… the flower can't live without the boring, decomposing leaves and the too green forest… just like you can't live without me…" I whispered the last part, not sure if it was completely true or not. "And the boring, normal too green forest with the dying leaves… can't live without the beautiful flowers to help keep it alive. Without the beautiful flowers… the forest would just be… trees. No beauty… not worthy to be seen, plain forest. Edward… without each other, we both will have no meaning in life. I do trust you… I sincerely need you with everything I am…" I gasped as I tried to stop myself from crying. It was no use.

I started sobbing out his name… sobbed because he didn't believe me… because his trust in me was completely lost… because I knew this was the end…

Of course I had a few more thoughts to let out at him. I was still sobbing as I continued to talk to him.

"Edward… I know I'm probably not your favorite person in the world right now," I chocked as that thought hit me hard. "But I love you… so much. You should know that I trust you with my life… everything about me belongs to you. But sometimes paper is the only thing that listens to me… like I said earlier…without getting mad at me… I'm scared of the way you act when I voice my thoughts sometimes Edward. I know I shouldn't be… because we're a couple… we have to trust each other fully… let each other know exactly what's going on in our heads… easier said then done." I laughed sadly. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Edward… please say something… I can't stand this anymore… I can't believe that it all came down to this… because of my stupid second thoughts… this all happened… because of my asinine fears… I couldn't trust my wants and needs to you… I'm sorry… I'm truly sorry Edward. I never meant to hurt you… not like this… not ever."

I shook as the sobs came back.

He's going to leave me… he's going to leave… why is this happening… please let me wake up and have this all be a horrible, bad, nightmare… let me wake up to his smiling, welcoming face, and kiss on my neck…

I sobbed harder at the realization at just how much I messed up fell full force onto me. I came to the conclusion that if he left me… I would die. Just die and get everything over with. Nothing holds meaning without Edward in it. Nothing…

I miss him already…

I fell to my side in a boneless heap. I knew I was acting pathetically. I knew I should have just sucked it up and acted my age. I've never cried this much… never in my life have I felt this much pain. Not when my parents got divorced, not once when I was put in the hospital the several hundred times in the past… not when James attacked me…

No… this pain was something totally different.

This pain is heartbreak.

I was suddenly aware of strong granite arms around me then. I gasped and threw my arms around him, before I continued to sob into his shoulder. Doesn't he hate me? What's going to happen? Why is the world out to get me… him… us…?

"Bella… I love you… stop crying… it's ok. We have to keep this conversation going… but I hate seeing you cry… just stop ok…? I'm sorry… you're sad because of me again…"

I look up at the side of his face, watching his lips form to the words he is using to reassure me. Shock was the first thing to registers in my nerves and I let my arms lock tightly around his neck now, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him like it would hurt any normal guy. "Do you forgive me then?"

A smile peels across his face and he kisses my forehead, carefully inhaling my scent as if I'd be clearheaded enough to catch on to what he was implying. So, finally he sighs and whispers into my ear, the voice of an angel, "I didn't know I had something to forgive you for. I can… understand your reasons. I realize that I do get hotheaded sometimes," he pulls himself away from my ear and looks deep into my eyes. "Maybe…you can forgive me…for not being calm enough to press your feelings into me…"

I rub my eyes, and nod running my fingers down my cheeks to slash away the tears. They were so useless and unwanted now, after all. I could feel my chest heave in and out, pressing against him from my heavy breathing. As uncomfortable as it is to be hugging him, I would want nothing more or less at this point.

He teasingly brushes his lips across my forehead instead of kissing it this time and smiles against my skin. "Edwaaard…" I groaned, wishing he'd stop with the teasing for once and just hold me. I felt terrible as it is. I never intended to let my journal house every little thing I think, do, or feel.

Finally, I remember his request. I smile weakly, rest my head on his stone, cold shoulder, and whisper calmly, "Of course I forgive you. Maybe… from now on…I'll let you look over my shoulder as I write new entries in my diary. Like… if I'm afraid to actually say something, I'll let you read it instead." For some reason, this sounded like an excellent idea to me.

Edward stares at me, I can feel his eyes on the back of my head. I felt as if I can guess the expression his face held. It was one of those 'if you can write it, why can't you say it' kind of looks, I was sure of it. Slowly, I pull my head up from his shoulder and look at his face. Yep, just what I thought. "What…you don't like the idea?"

"I'm just…surprised you came up with something that doesn't involve me changing you in the process," he grins, and it takes me a couple seconds to recognize the laughter brewing up behind his teeth.

I couldn't help but stare at him. Here I am, finally stopping the tears from flowing and he goes and laughs on the inside.

"Why are you laughing at me! I can tell you know!" I stared at him, with large eyes.

Edward broke into small chuckles. Not as bad as I thought his laughter would be when it finally came. I just watched his beautiful features, dazzled.

Edward must have seen my change in expression because he smiled at me… which didn't help me at all.

"Because it was the truth, silly Bella…" his smile dropped and he looked at me with need.

"Edward… you keep dazzling me…" I accused, pointing my finger at him. He glanced at my finger before he cupped my face with his hand.

His face came closer to mine, and my heart began to race.

"I love you Bella…" his voice surprised me… his tone was much… different. It made a spark go down my spine.

"I love you Edward…" My voice equaled his.

Something about the whirling of his eye color, however, made more then that single spark go down my spine. A soft shiver thrust itself throughout my blood as if it was warning me. I ignore it quickly, disregarding its clear knowledge of something bad occurring.

"I need to kiss you Bella…. please…" yet another few words came from his lips that were unfamiliar to my ears. It was beginning to weird me out a little at first, but once again, I shove it to the side and give him what he is wishing to obtain.

I press my lips to perfect patch of icy skin on his face that covered his flawless teeth. His hands went up into my hair, fully accepting me like he had the night of my birthday. His fingers quickly became tangled in my chaotic hair, but I soon found myself gripping the back of his head, twisting his tousled hair around my breakable fingers and kiss him back the exact same way he had begun.

My eyes were closed, for the prospect of opening them made me think that it was my imagination completely running wild.

It would have been the most intelligent thing to do though. Opening my eyes. Taking in the knowledge of what was happening to Edward as we kissed would have been the smart thing to do. I was enjoying it too much too care though. It didn't matter at all.

Suddenly, every ounce of oxygen in my body began to deplete. It was leaving my lungs completely and I began to gasp into Edward's mouth. Something was wrong. Something…was terribly wrong. My eyes thrust open, expecting Edward to do his normal pull back immediately maneuver but instead, I see his eyes twirling with empty darkness. I was being sucked into the blackness of his eyes before I finally realized what it meant. It was caused from being out in the forest so long without feeding for a while. I had noticed earlier that he was getting paler –if that was possible- but it never came to mind what it meant.

He was thirsty.

Sorry everyone for the cliffy! Just remember… reviewers get candy! (hint hint)

Suma: Sweet! Sorry everyone for the long delay! This chapter I think was the best chapter so far. Kyo and I were planning it before chapter 6! The month or so it took us to get this up, was all planning, re-doing, going over, editing, etc etc. Thank you all for your patience! Sorry bout the evil cliffy though… (bwahahaha…)

KyoK40Sohma: WOO! . . I'm sorry for how I ended it. Suma and I, I think literally split this chapter between us. I think it came out beautifully

Now… you see the button down there? Ya know… the one that says "submit review—go"? CLICK IT NOW! The faster you do… the faster you get the next chapter! Sooo… click it!

(plus, kyo and I have a bet as to how many reviews and reads we'll get today, 9-6-06, so hurry up and review already!)

XD

Suma Susaki

And

Kyo-k40-Sohma