Chapter 7: secondary road
.Hee.
I saw his eyes going wet and damned myself. Obviously he missed his family.
He pulls me, hugging my hips.. my hands went to his hair..I brushed them slowly and softly, I could feel his breath on my stomach..
"Time to sleep..". His words interrupted my daydreams and I returned to my bed;"Night..".
After that day, some months passed strangely but quietly: between me and Hang a new balance was created. He often hangs out with me and HongKi when I had time between drama and TV programms.
The other members had all busy schedules but Hang was also stressed out because he couldn't see his family and Chinese friends. He really relied on me couple of times, while drinking soju, telling me his frustration. I felt helpless often. I wanted to hug him, make him feel better but.. I was too afraid of being pulled aside that I ignored my feeling..again.
At that time I also found the time to practice my guide-skills. I didn't drive for too much time so I used all the opportunities to do it. I also took Kibum to his schedule one or two times.
A rainy and dour day, all the members went to Donghae's father funeral and I headed back to Seoul earlier than them because of a radio program. The highway was too crowded so I decided to take a secondary road but, while getting out the highway, a blue car started to slide because of the water; trying to avoid it another car collided to mine and I lost control of the car shocked.
I crashed onto the crash-barrier and being knocked against airbag and steering-wheel.
I heard screaming and yelling before losing my senses. Fortunately the ambulance arrived soon and the paramedics wake me up and extracted me out the damaged car. I felt so much pain that my eyes were full of tears. I could see people taking photo of me and I was desperate, how would I turn out? Bloody and scratched?
In the ambulance they make me sleep and finally I the pain stopped.
I was waked by noise. After my eyes clarify I noticed my manager next to a doctor and a nurse. They said that I fractured my left leg in five places, including femur, knee, and ankle, requiring surgery for six hours. I also had a tear in my tongue which required stitches. I tried to answer them but my throat hurt so much and my voice couldn't come out. I really wanted to cry myself out.
After the shocking revelation tears couldn't stop coming out so, preventing a shock-attack, they sedate me and I returned to sleep.
"Leeuteuk stop..You're not helping him like this". I heard Siwon scolding the leader and I woke up coughing. Seven pair of eyes focused on me instantly.
"HYUNG!" I heard Ryeowook scream and I noticed the worry on his face. Right next to him there was Eunhyuk with a crying Leeuteuk in his arms..
"..ehi - what a face..I'm that bad? k k...cough" I tried to laugh but my voiced cracked and my throat burnt causing his to cry more.
Smiling tired I looked at the present: along with Ryeo, Hyuk and leader there were Siwon, Kyuhyun, Donghae and Shindong. He wasn't here. My eyes went teary but I stopped myself on crying.
"..Hang?" I asked looking at Siwon. He kept quiet for two seconds and shook his head.. "He.."
"He had schedule" Interrupted Leeuteuk hitting Siwon.
"Oh- okay-". The topic changed as fastly as depression found me. I listen to the others superficially and slowly left myself drowning in sadness. Pain was much better than that.
I never felt that way before. Along with the physical pain there was another feeling.. strong and constant. Like something grinding to my lungs.
The day after I woke up early because of thirst. I slowly take the bottle of water but I couldn't open it. I retry and retry but..nothing. My strength has left me.
Angry I threw the bottle away just when the door of the room opened.
"Hee?" I freeze. He looked so tired and worried. He picked up the water looking at me carefully.
"You want to drink?". He dind't come near the bed, he was still standing next to the door. I nodded and watched him going out of the room.
"Jwe song hahm nida" He excused. "I should have come yesterday..". Hang was sitting beside my bed, he didn't look at me once time. "Why- you didn't c-come?" Fresh water makes my throat hurt less. "You had schedule?"
Finally he lifted up his head, his eyes were red. "No. I did not." Ah. What marvelous new wave of pain shook my head. I stared at my hand without saying anything.
"I.." He stood up and took my hand in a blink of an eye. "I.. didn't want to see you like this.. this.. hurt me so much that.. I really couldn't ..." .. His words were interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Hey! Chull!" a worried HongKi ran to my bed and hugged me, "I was so worried.." he was nearly going to cry.. Hang was staring to him like he was a ghost.
"Don't cry- Teuk already did for all of you.. k k k-cough" I laughed weakly and looked at Hangeng.
He was completely mute and he was torturing his own hands. HongKi probably noticed it because he took Hang out of the room "We're going to buy some hot tea for you.." He said.
