Lara was slightly out of breath by the time she had run up the stairs of the Wilkins Building from Euston Square station. The white pillars were the entrance to the University College London's main library with clusters of students around their bases sheltering from the rain. Lara received a few glances as she made her way inside the building. It wasn't that surprising as her clothes were still torn from the night before and a hand shaped bruise began to appear on her wrist. Lara couldn't believe that she had been so stupid to think that running away would sort her life out. That was what she had done her whole life until Yamatai. She ran away to university to escape the claustrophobia of her home life that she had endured since her mother died. At university she ran to the library as a place of solace away from noisy housemates and student stereotypes. Now she had almost run a full circle back into her comfort zone.
Except the building full of books didn't feel the same. It now felt intimidating as current students peeked over their piles of books or paused with coffees as Lara walked past. She felt like a fraud, she was neither a student or on official research; just a woman trying to get her life back. Her university card was at the manor in a little memory box, so there was only one way to get past the scanners, or at least, only one nonviolent option. Lara approached the main desk waiting for the receptionist to finish her phone conversation.
"Can I help you?" Asked the rather bored looking woman as she peered over her computer screen.
"I hope so," Lara said, "I'm a previous student and I'm doing some freelance research. I just need to check some details." The receptionist leant over to her filing drawers and pulled out a photocopied form.
"If you could just fill this form in; I'll get it processed for you within seven days". Lara took the form and flicked over the questions. Name, date of birth, reason for temporary library access, brief description of research, name of employer. She quickly decided that the official way would get her application denied.
"I'm doing some research for Dr Donnelly, Institute of Archeology and he hasn't provided my staff card yet". The receptionist seemed unimpressed that the form hadn't sent away the bedraggled woman in front of her. She wondered what the university had come to letting in people like Lara and her questionable hygiene.
"Well, if you could get him to fill in the form, I'll be more than happy to provide you with a temporary card".
Lara moved away from the desk as she folded the form into little squares. Her sense of feeling like an outsider was met by resistance before she had the chance to open a book. Reluctantly she left the Wilkins Building and slumped on the top step as she continued her origami-like folding of the useless form.
"Oh my god," Came a squeal from below, followed by heavy clunks of Doc Martin boots, "you are that girl aren't you? The explorer one!"
"I'm not sorry, just a student." Lara lied as she prepared her excuses to leave.
"Yes, you are! Laura is it? I'm studying History here, but I also take a few archeology classes too and we've had a seminar on what has come from your excursion in the press. How like, the press can make things up and what can go wrong". The girl was far too excited as her breathing became short and quick. "You are missing too! It was on the radio this morning. You should tell someone you know".
"I'm...what?" Lara stuttered, "I'm not missing".
"So you are Laura?"
"No, I'm not her". Technically, it wasn't a lie.
The student studied Lara carefully, taking in her bruises and tired appearance. Rearranging her books on Egyptian architecture, she took out her phone and tapped for a few moments before placing the dirty screen under Lara's nose. Lara saw her own face staring back at her, one from a more simple time at her graduation. Scrolling upwards the happy face turned into an airport scene with Lara shouting at the press.
"What is this?" Lara asked as she began to read the accompanying text.
"An article from when you came back last month," the student took her phone back, "is it true you are banned from entering Japan?"
"You are not letting this drop are you?"
"Nope," the girl popped her phone in her coat pocket and stared at Lara.
"Okay, yes I am her, you got me". Lara stood up with the intention to leave the one girl fan club on the library steps.
"Knew it! What are you doing here then? Shouldn't you be exploring, or at least taking yourself off the missing persons list". Lara considered her options. She could just politely excuse herself, or perhaps the eager girl in front of her could be useful.
"It's my uncle, he's err, very protective after I'd returned home. Listen, could you do me a favour?" The student agreed as Lara explained that her bag had been stolen with her staff card, house keys and mobile phone so she ended up staying in a university office overnight. She was all too keen to provide Lara with her library card and phone. After contacting Winston to say she was okay and would return tonight, Lara made her way back into the library. Sneaking past the bored receptionist, she tapped the card and the metal barriers swung open allowing Lara to make her way towards the Ancient History section.
Lara wasn't sure what she was looking for as she slowly walked down the aisle, dragging her fingers on the book spines. She hoped the tactic she used whilst in university would help her again. The simple task of browsing and waiting for a book title to piqué her interest while spending time in the relevant section. Reaching the end of the aisle, Lara turned and made her way back along the row of ancient Japan books. Somewhere, she believed, would be something that could explain how Yamatai happened. Although Lara didn't really want to revisit that brutal place both physically and mentally, something pushed her to seek out more information.
There were no students around the Japanese section, with most of them now nose deep into their laptops or making their way home. It was quiet, far too quiet for Lara's liking, as she paused to skim the books about Japanese ceramics. Suddenly, a book flew from the shelf and landed further up the aisle. Lara didn't move, staring at the fallen book and making sure that there was definitely no one on the other side of the shelf. Moving cautiously, she bent down to pick the book up.
"Japanese Calligraphy by Poets, Monks, and Scholars 1568-1868", Lara muttered as she flipped the book over. It was fairly unremarkable and she signed the occurrence off as part of the old shelving system finally giving up. Placing the book back on the shelf, Lara made her way back to the start where books on Japan merged with books written about South East Asia. A slight breeze rustled the loose, front section of her hair. Turning to face where the breeze had come from, Lara's pendant began to burn into her skin. Screaming out, she tried to snatch the necklace from her neck, but it was to no avail. The cord pulled tight around her windpipe as she curled up into a ball waiting for the pain to subside.
It was nighttime when Lara woke up in a toilet cubicle. She had no recollection of entering the bathroom, yet she was on the tiled floor with her head resting against the door. Noticing that the lock was slid across, she quickly unlocked the door and exited the cubicle. The wall facing her was scrawled with red graffiti. Large kanji filled the space, but was quickly becoming illegible as they dripped over the tiles. It wasn't ink, Lara realised, but blood that now puddled on the bathroom floor.
"What the hell," Lara whispered as she touched the blood, pulling her hand away quickly as she felt that it was still warm. All these occurrences were too frequent now for her to write them off as post traumatic stress. This was real, too real, and Lara knew deep down that she had not left Yamatai. Instead a piece of Yamatai had come home with her.
