Chapter 7 Reunions

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

~C.S. Lewis

Friday evening was upon me before I knew it. Carlisle was working until 8:00, but everyone else was home. Alice, Jasper, and Edward were statues perched around the living room, their eyes following me as I paced like an agitated cat. I could almost imagine myself that way, with a long, twitching tail.

"Just give it another half hour, Bella," Alice said with a sigh. "And stop worrying so much. Everything will be just fine."

I broke stride and turned to stare at her. "Are you sure? Have you seen anything new?"

Carlisle had come home later than expected the previous night, telling me he'd seen Charlie at the hospital working a traffic accident. My father wasn't happy to see Carlisle, but apparently he'd seemed okay. Well enough to focus on doing what was needed of him, at least, which had been a relief for me after a long day of my building anxiety. I'd tried not to upset myself today, but even with Jasper's breathing exercises, it had been difficult.

Alice frowned at me. "Jasper will be helping you, and Charlie will be taking his cues from your temperament, so there's really no reason for you to wear out the carpet. Sit down and relax already."

I blew out a puff of air and traipsed over to Edward on the loveseat, sinking into his lap. I pressed my face to his throat and inhaled, letting the sweetness settle in my lungs. "Distract me," I mumbled.

Edward's icy fingertips brushed back my hair and tapped along my neck as though composing a new melody, and my heart stuttered and sped in response. Jasper cleared his throat meaningfully.

"Perhaps something fit for an audience, then?" Edward said, resting his hand on my shoulder.

I smirked. "Should we play chess? Would that be innocent enough for Jasper's virgin eyes?"

Alice laughed, and Jasper narrowed his aforementioned eyes slightly before chuckling. There was a reason I'd been going to bed with the stereo on every night, and it had nothing to do with my nocturnal activities.

"What time did you boys want to leave tonight?" Alice chimed, trying to make conversation for my benefit.

Jasper had decided it was best for him to hunt at least once a week for the duration of my stay, but Edward had not hunted since before bringing me home, nearly a full two weeks. I worried that my proximity was making him uncomfortable, but he had assured me that he was in perfect control of his thirst. All the same, I hated to see the inky blackness in his eyes and think of the pain he must be feeling, so I encouraged him to go with his father and brother though I'd rather have him stay.

"After nine, I think," Edward answered. "Once I'm sure Bella will be alright."

Alice rolled her eyes. "She'll be fine, Edward. You aren't going far, and you won't be away long." Her eyes became opaque for a moment. "See? If you keep to the west, you'll find plenty of elk. You should be back before dawn."

"When will Rosalie and Emmett be arriving?" Esme said from the middle of the staircase. I had not heard her descend, but that was not unusual for a family of vampires, and I was growing accustomed to it.

Alice's face went blank again, and I felt Edward grow very still. "Midday," Alice answered. "They're going to stop and hunt before they get too close."

I, too, became motionless. I was dreading Rosalie's glares and wondered if she'd have anything nasty to say to me tomorrow. Edward's hand tightened on my shoulder, and he pressed his mouth close to my ear. "Everything will be all right. She won't bother you."

"Yeah," I breathed back with a small smile, trying not to let Esme see how worried I really was. "I'm sure it will be fine." I looked down at my hands and bit my lip, wondering if I was fooling anyone.

Esme came to sit next to us on the loveseat and tenderly placed a hand on mine. "Thank you, Bella, for agreeing to this," she said softly. "I know it must be difficult for you right now, with everything else you're dealing with, to add one more stressor to the pile." Esme suddenly became stern. "I've already spoken to Rosalie. She will behave herself." I made a mental note never to be impolite to a guest in her house, and she continued in a kind voice. "This means a great deal to me, my dear, having all my family together. I love you all so much." She squeezed my hand gently and beamed warmly at me. I smiled back; she counted me as one of her family now, and my heart swelled to hear it.

"Thank you, Esme," I whispered. "I love you, too."

I felt Edward exhale contentedly. On the couch across from us, Alice and Jasper held hands and grinned at me.

Alice sat up suddenly, looking at nothing I could identify. "Call him now, Bella."

We all stood up, and everyone surrounded me. Edward removed the designated phone from his shirt pocket and handed it to me silently. My heart raced in my chest, my breathing was suddenly uneven, and my fingers trembled as I dialed my father's number.

"Jasper?" I murmured. I felt a strong, cold hand on my shoulder, and I was instantly at peace. I pressed Send.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

"Hello?"

I hesitated. It felt good to hear his voice again, but I couldn't show it. "Hi, Charlie."

The phone was silent for three seconds. "Bella? Is it really you?"

I looked at the floor. "Yeah. How are you?" I tried to sound like I didn't care.

"Worried out of my mind! Are you okay?" He was frantic.

"I'm fine. Calm down." I hoped he wasn't working himself up to a stroke.

"Why didn't you call me to pick you up? The hospital staff said they released you and that you hadn't told them where you planned to go. Where are you? I'll come get you right now." He was desperate to see me, to make sure I was safe.

I took a deep but quiet breath. Instead of mere calm, I felt slightly numb. "I'm not going home, Charlie." My voice was flat, just like I needed it to be.

"But, Bells…" Charlie sounded confused and hurt. "You're better now. You can come back to Forks, finish school."

"No. I need a fresh start." He had wanted that for me in the first place; he'd practically demanded it. I could still remember him angrily pounding his fist on the table, threatening to make me leave…I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of Forks. "I'll have a better chance this way."

"I see," he said quietly, and I knew I'd pressed the right button. "Where will you live? Do you need any money?" He must be thinking of his retirement fund.

"No thanks, Dad. The hospital issued me a little money to get started, and I've already got a job and a place to stay. I know how to take care of myself." I'd had to fend for myself for years, and he knew that. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Can I at least come see you?" Pleading.

I shut my eyes. "No. I'm not ready to see you right now."

Charlie was quiet on the other end.

"Dad?"

He sniffed. "Still here, Bella."

"Call Renee and tell her I'm safe, okay?"

"Sure, honey." He sniffed again.

I couldn't resist. "And for heaven's sake, eat some vegetables once in a while, and ease up on the fried food. They sell the salad in prepackaged bags now, you know."

Charlie chuckled without any real humor. "I can do that. Is there a number where I can reach you?"

"No, sorry. I had to borrow this phone." I couldn't focus on getting well or keep up my illusion if he was calling me every day.

Edward gave me an apologetic look, and I knew it was time to end the conversation.

"Love you, Dad. I'll call you next week."

"Really?" He sounded so hopeful.

"Sure, Charlie. Bye."

"Love you, Bella. Bye."

I pressed End.

Jasper lifted his hand slowly, and the numbness died away.

I turned my whole body to Edward and crushed myself against him, tears forming suddenly with sobs not far behind. Edward scooped me up carefully and carried me up the stairs at inhuman speed. I clutched him like a lifeline.

Once in bed, I remained nestled in his arms, wishing I could walk back down the stairs, call Charlie, and take it all back. I had abandoned my own father, made him think I wanted nothing to do with him. Edward didn't speak or try to kiss me. He only held me close and waited, offering his silent support.

About an hour after sunset I finally stopped crying and wiped my face on my sleeve. I pressed my lips to his chest.

"Sorry," I murmured. "I'm being stupid, I know. I just feel like a miserable excuse for a daughter."

"Bella," Edward disagreed with me gently, "you're anything but stupid, and you're a wonderful, loving daughter. None of this is your fault." He stroked my hair carefully and wiped a few errant tears away. "It won't be forever. Before long you'll be able to see him again."

"But it won't be the same," I said sadly. "He'll always think I don't love him the same way I did before. I've hurt him, Edward."

Edward pulled my face up, forcing me to meet his gaze. "Bella, you did not do this to him. Stop blaming yourself, please. It's been a month and a half since he's spoken to you. Do you have any idea how relieved he must be just to hear your voice again? And you'll call him again next week. He'll be happier speaking to you for a few minutes at a time than he has been the whole time you've been away. Trust me, love, this is the right thing to do."

I closed my eyes. "I know." I pulled my face closer. "I love you, Edward. Thank you for seeing me through this."

I felt a cold kiss on my nose. "And I love you, Bella. More than you'll ever know."

I smiled slightly at that. Would he ever know how much a part of me he really was?

I opened my eyes and glanced up at the window, then down at my watch.

8:36 P.M.

Friday

March 26

"You have to go," I whispered sadly.

Edward's face was troubled. "I can stay with you tonight. I don't have to hunt yet."

The onyx color of his irises and violet circles under his eyes said otherwise, and I knew his thirst must be far more intense than he let on. "Go on," I said. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to shower and hit the sack. I need some sleep anyway. It's been a long day."

Edward looked at me inquiringly, an expression I already knew. I smiled encouragingly to grant permission, and he touched his lips carefully to mine. I stroked his face just once, slowly, and reminded myself to breathe.

After a few seconds he pulled back, and I smiled again. "See you in the morning," I said.

"I'll send Alice in to sit with you tonight," he said, getting up.

"Sure," I said, propping myself up on my right elbow to watch him move, to marvel at his easy grace. "Maybe I'll crack her up when I start yammering in my sleep tonight."

Edward stiffened for half a second at the door. "Good night, love. Pleasant dreams."

"Happy hunting," I called back, and he pulled the door closed behind him, leaving me alone with a heart full of private misery.


I was running through the trees again, giant cedars like the ones in front of the Cullen house. I laughed at first, expecting him to chase after me, but there was no corresponding laughter in return. I swiveled my head in every direction, seeking a glimpse of his white skin or bronze hair, and sniffed at the air hopefully, meaning to pick up his scent. But there was no sign of him, and the trees pressed closer together. Panicking, I broke into a gallop, searching, searching, my eyes turning every which way. There were no sounds, no birds or insects or squirrels making their small, comforting noises. I searched the treetops to no avail, and the canopy blotted out the sunlight. Confused, I turned back the way I'd come, but it was identical to everything else. And I didn't know what I was looking for anymore, only that I should keep looking and try not to feel so alone, that I should ignore the hollow being gouged out from my chest, the slicing, the throbbing stream of hot blood spurting across the piles of pine needles, but it didn't matter, because no one would ever find me here, or even bother to try, and the trees and sky and earth all spun and faded into white…

I screamed into the inky blackness, fearing I'd gone completely blind. Saltwater flew from my eyes, and I could only wail incoherently and clutch at my chest.

Lamplight exposed the space, and a white blur suddenly materialized into a small female shape sitting beside me. "Bella?" her wind chime voice called out clearly. "Bella, it's Alice. Can you hear me?"

Her voice was a much needed shock to my system, and I found myself completely mute. I sat twisted in shining gold bedding, my face sticky with sweat and hair. I looked around wildly until I found Edward's pillow. Pulling it to me like a child's comfort object, I breathed in his lingering fragrance to soothe the pain. I heaved a sigh of relief as I remembered: Edward had only gone hunting and would be back by morning. A faint ache lingered in my chest, uncomfortable but not unbearable.

I checked my watch.

4:34 A.M.

Saturday

March 27

"How do you feel?" Alice asked, looking at me curiously. Over her shoulder I saw Esme standing in the doorway, watching me carefully for any further signs of panic. I heard thunder in the distance.

"Better, thanks. Sorry about that." I ducked my head. "I hope I didn't say anything too awful."

Alice hummed something unintelligible over her shoulder, too fast for me to catch anything but her gentle tone, and Esme smiled. "I'll be in my room, girls. Bella, please call me if you need anything at all." She stole quietly back toward the staircase.

"Actually, you mostly just called for Edward," Alice replied after her mother had gone, "or at least you did at first. Then you seemed…lost, and it didn't make sense anymore. Was this a new dream?" She looked at me quizzically, and I wondered how much I should tell her.

"Can you block this from Edward?" I asked seriously.

Alice seemed surprised. "Yes, I can, if I find more things to think about, but why would I do that? He expected you to have a nightmare. If I block it, he'll assume it was worse than he thought. And even if I convince him you didn't have one at all, he'll only be even more confused."

Hmm. Knowing Edward, if he thought I had no nightmares in his absence, he'd erroneously assume that his presence caused all my other nightmares. Ridiculous, but that was Edward.

"Look," I said, deciding to trust Alice, "it's fine if he knows I had a nightmare, I just don't want him to know it was this nightmare. He feels guilty enough as it is. I had to plead with him all day to take this hunting trip. If he thinks leaving me alone for a few hours is going to hurt me further, he'll just go longer and longer between feeding, and I can't stand to have him in pain. It probably wouldn't do much for his self control, either."

"I don't know, Bella." She sounded worried now. "It's important for us to know what's going on in that human brain of yours so we can help you."

I tried to plot a strategy, not the easiest thing to do so close to 4 A.M. "What if I speak to Jasper alone? Not that I'm up for that either."

Alice shook her head slightly. "No dice. He can't just block the entire point of your session from Edward." As usual, her logic was unassailable.

I hung my head in my hands. "Crap, Alice. I don't want to go ten rounds with Edward and Jasper over this. It's completely unnecessary, and I just don't have the energy to deal with either of them."

She considered me a moment. "I do have an alternative."

I stared at her, puzzled. "What might that be?"

"Edward wanted me to take care of you, right? So you can just talk about your dream with me. I won't analyze you, or ask you too many questions, or freak out and get overprotective and angst-ridden. I'll just listen, and maybe tell you what I think. I'm not your therapist, and I'm not your self-flagellating life partner. I'm your friend, Bella. Sometimes that's all you need."

I tilted my head and pondered this. I'd never had that kind of friend growing up except for my mom, and I was usually the one guiding her through various crises and heartaches. If there was anyone I could trust to be a truly supportive friend, it was Alice. And maybe she wouldn't be able to keep the conversation from Edward, but she'd probably help me feel better about the whole thing, and that was suddenly what I wanted most.

So I told her about the dream, when it all began, the abandonment, how the stabbing pain I'd formerly felt in waking moments had seeped into the dream until it had become a near-permanent fixture. I told her about the blood flow, how I both hated it and allowed it in the hopes that it would draw Edward back to me. I told her about the paradox of the claustrophobia within the trees and the endless expanse of white oblivion. I told her how excruciating it was to be separated from him all those months, and how even now, knowing that he would come home to me, the hole still prickled. And I told her how worried I was about Edward's reaction to this knowledge, that my pain causing him pain only caused me even more pain, a double helix of mutual agony that didn't help either of us.

Alice held my hand and stayed quiet for the duration. When I had finished, she seemed lost in thought.

"Bella," Alice said finally, "you know he's coming back. He'll be here in an hour or so. And, hunting trips notwithstanding, he'll never be strong enough to leave you again."

I sighed, ashamed of myself. "Yeah, I know I'm being silly. It just hurts so much, being away from him."

"I know exactly what you mean," she replied in a strange voice. Curiosity flickered within me.

I sat up and peered at her. "You and Jasper," I began, "were the two of you ever…?" I didn't know how to finish the question, but Alice seemed to understand.

"I've told you before, haven't I, that Jasper's face was the first thing I saw when I woke up to this life?" I nodded, and she continued. "I don't know how similar it was to your experience or Edward's, but the moment I had my vision of Jasper, my body filled with warmth and joy. Not a common thing for a vampire to feel, warmth. It flows over me whenever I'm in his presence. When we make love, we're completely overwhelmed by it…

"But before I found him, I didn't have all the assurances that I do now. My visions are imperfect, and it took almost thirty years to find him. Every day was a slow torture, and only my visions kept the pain in check, gave me hope."

She looked at me sympathetically. "I suppose the pain is much the same for you, though perhaps on a deeper level. Jasper didn't leave me like Edward left you; he didn't hurt me the same way.

"I've heard all your sessions with Jasper, and I talked to Edward and my parents about what you were like when he first brought you home. I can't be sure, of course, but I wonder if the pain might be worse for you than Edward thinks. Vampire senses are magnified hundreds, maybe thousands of times greater than that of a human, so our capacity for appreciating and enduring pain is greater. But we're not mortal, and there are still some things we can't feel, sensations we simply don't experience. You were talking about bleeding earlier. That's something I have no memory of, and I doubt Edward remembers it clearly either. We know what it is, obviously, but the concept of our own essence draining away is foreign to us. And you felt it every night! How do you survive that?"

I shook my head. "No questions about it, remember? I don't think I could answer that one, anyway."

Alice nodded. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make it worse for you." She threw an arm around my waist, and I threw one over her shoulder, and I was just so grateful that she was there.

We sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before I thought of the time. "When are the guys getting home?"

Alice cocked her head to the side. "In about half an hour. Do you want to take a nap before they get here?"

"No thanks. It won't do me any good to try to sleep now anyway. What is it, 5:30 in the morning?" I checked my watch to confirm. "I should eat some breakfast and have a shower before they show up." I inched to the side of the bed and was about to drop my feet when Alice stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella?" she spoke hesitantly, sparking my curiosity. "There's something else I need to say."

"What is it, Alice?"

"Rosalie and Emmett will be here later," her voice sounded very small. "And I wanted to thank you for that. I know how she's been with you in the past, and Jasper can tell you're worried about more of the same from her. He was actually opposed to the idea of them coming back."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why? I thought he'd love to have his brother and sister back."

"He would. But he's concerned that this might affect your recovery and hinder your progress. Jasper thinks it's more important for you to get well than for you to placate Rosalie, but you were so decided that I told him not to bother arguing the point."

I was completely floored. Never in a million years would I have expected my mental health to be a higher priority on Jasper's list than his own siblings.

Alice seemed to guess what I was thinking. "Bella, when you were being hunted last year, Jasper told you that our only fear was losing you. Do you remember?"

It had been a whole year since that awful Spring Break, and I'd suppressed a great many memories about that time, but I did remember that much. "Yeah," I whispered.

"That is even truer today than it was then. I love you, Bella, every ounce as much as I love Edward. Carlisle and Esme do, too. Jasper cares about you, and he wants you to be whole again. And not just for Edward, but for you. It's pained us all to see you so broken. Rosalie's petty annoyances are nothing to that."

I was every bit as overwhelmed as I had been when Esme called me part of her family. It was just too much for me. I returned to Alice's arms and tried not to cry. She patted my back. "My sister," she murmured.

I pulled back and met her eyes, the words pouring from me like water. "I love you, Alice. Please, don't let Rosalie know Jasper didn't want her to come home. I asked that she come back so she wouldn't hate me for keeping her away from her own family. If she finds out about this, it'll just make things worse. Promise me, Alice."

She rolled her eyes. "We're way ahead of you, Bella. Now let's hurry up and get you fed and presentable before Jazz and Edward get back. You look like a panda with those eyes. Esme!" she called suddenly. "Get the Count Chockula and a glass of orange juice!"


"Bella!" Edward's voice betrayed just a hint of panic as he flashed up the stairs and into our room, stopping just inside the door. His hair was sopping wet and his clothes were entirely drenched, as though he had swum across the river rather than leaped over it, the clinging fabric emphasizing every line of his torso. No one had a right to look so beautiful. "Are you alright?"

Alice, seated on my left on the couch, rolled her eyes slightly. Whatever explanation she'd been thinking at Edward had not been enough to put him entirely at ease.

I, on the other hand, felt completely untroubled the moment I glimpsed Edward's face. I felt myself light up with a smile, and I reached for him without a conscious thought. No trace of the hole remained as he flitted to the sofa and kneeled in front of me, taking my hands into his. I didn't throw myself into his arms; I didn't need to. Reunion was a flavor on my tongue, ambrosial, and I wanted nothing more than to savor it. I sat silently and memorized the exact luminance of his topaz eyes, parted my lips carefully, and tasted the air, the sweet electricity.

I had not noticed Alice's departure, or even the passage of time, until I heard her tiny ahem in the doorway. Edward and I both looked up to see her shaking her head, amused, with Jasper standing behind her, an air of peace around him.

"That's enough, you two. Emmett and Rosalie will be here soon, and Bella should eat again before they get here. Haven't you heard your own stomach growling for the past hour?"

I looked around myself and realized the room was entirely lit by the rain-filtered daylight passing through the window wall. Had I really lost the whole morning? I checked my watch and sure enough, it was just past 11:30 A.M. Had Edward and I talked at all? I didn't remember falling into the haze; I didn't remember blinking, feeling numb, or doing anything but enjoying his presence. Jasper had seemed at ease about us just now, not worried…

"Bella, is something wrong?" Edward asked, sensing my confusion. Or maybe he heard Jasper's assessment of my confusion.

"I'm fine," I said, smiling widely and focusing only on how happy I'd been for the last several hours. "I guess I lost track of time. You're very good, Edward." I winked at him and stood up. "I'd better get some food in me. Are you coming?"

His expression was content as he got to his feet, but I thought I saw his eyes tighten. "I just need to shower and change clothes, and I'll be right down."

I stretched up to give him a quick peck on the cheek before I headed for the stairs. I was passively aware of the odd looks the three vampires gave each other and the way Jasper's jaw moved rapidly, though I heard nothing distinct.

After a quick lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (I didn't want anything that had to be heated, lest the accentuated smell permeate the house even further and irritate Rosalie or Emmett), I went to join Esme and Carlisle in the living room and tried not to be nervous. This decision had been made, and I had no wish to go back on it, but still, Rosalie was the only Cullen who actually frightened me. And that was after taking into account that Jasper had taken a snap at me once before and Edward had come within an inch of massacring our entire biology class the first time he smelled me. I fidgeted a little in my seat.

Jasper and the others zipped down the stairs just then, and it was suddenly a completely natural thing to sit and crack jokes about how elk blood compared to bean curd while we waited. I wondered what they'd been talking about upstairs for so long, but I didn't ask, figuring Alice must have been filling them in on what she and I had talked about. Edward sat on the floor in front of me, seeming to enjoy the feeling of my fingers playing with his hair and massaging his scalp. Feeling impulsive and playful, I leaned down as if to whisper something (not that everyone in the house wouldn't hear me anyway) and, quite deliberately, exhaled softly into his ear.

Edward froze, and the air around us suddenly pulsed with electricity. Jasper and Alice were immediately rocking with laughter. I giggled happily and buried my face in Edward's hair. Carlisle and Esme exchanged a glance and the subtlest of smirks.

"Bella…" Edward breathed, half reprimanding me, half expressing a clear desire to turn around and kiss me.

"Yes dear?" I said with superficial innocence. I only called him "dear" when teasing him.

"That wasn't very—oh." He suddenly straightened up and looked toward the rear of the house. I stiffened, understanding. His brother and sister were within range of his extra hearing.

"Knock it off, Jasper," Edward muttered as a fresh wave of calm spread across the room.

"It's not you I'm doing this for," Jasper replied icily, his tone laced with hidden meaning, "as you very well know." The calm lifted just a little.

"Boys," Esme spoke firmly, "please."

Don't ruin this for her, I thought. Esme deserves this. I tugged Edward by his hair to settle back against my legs and pressed my face close to his ear again. "I love you," I murmured as quietly as I could, attempting to mimic the way his family communicated. Saying the words soothed me.

He reached up with one hand to brush my cheek and whispered, "You are everything." The words burned with more fervor than I'd expected.

Two pale blurs flashed past the south wall of windows. I had no more warning than that before Rosalie and Emmet were suddenly standing before us, dressed in hiking attire and carrying sturdy-looking backpacks, smiling at Esme and Carlisle.

All of a sudden everyone was standing up, exchanging hugs. I stood, too, as quickly as I could, hanging back just a little so the family could enjoy their greetings without interference. Well, mostly without interference—Carlisle had to break up an impromptu wrestling match. Edward seemed genuinely happy to see his brother and sister, and I was pleased to see him beaming. Rosalie and Emmett spoke in their rapid bell and honey murmurs at first, but the others all spoke at human pace and volume for my benefit. It didn't take long for the newcomers to catch on and do the same.

Emmett rounded on me, his eyes sweeping over me as a wicked grin stretched across his face. "Well look what the cat dragged in. You're even scrawnier than I remember."

"Emmett, are you sure steroids don't work on vampires?" I teased back. "You're practically blotting out the sun."

He reached over at human speed as if to muss my hair, and I lightly sidestepped out of reach. "Missed me," I mocked.

His head twitched infinitesimally at an angle, his eyes amused and slightly surprised. "Huh. You didn't fall."

"Observant, aren't you?" Rosalie quipped. She looked at me then, and I looked at her. She smiled shyly, and I did the same.

"Hi, Rosalie," I said casually. "How was your trip?"

"It was lovely. We passed through the Black Hills in South Dakota. The sunrise there is beautiful." She took a short breath. "I took some pictures for you. I know you haven't traveled much, and I thought you'd like to see it."

I smiled warmly, and I didn't think Jasper was helping me manage it, either. "Thank you. I'd like that very much." From the corner of my eye I saw Edward's blank gaze shift from myself to Rosalie to Jasper.

"I heard you had another honeymoon in Europe," I said, hoping to keep the conversation flowing so there would be no awkward pauses. "Tell me all about it."

Esme stood close to her oldest daughter, radiating joy from every particle of her being. And it didn't matter to me if Rosalie was faking this welcoming attitude or not, if she hated me or not, so long as the woman beside her, who looked after me better than my own mother ever had, could be happy.