Hey guys :) next chapter for you :) Sorry about the lateness. Please enjoy :)
Redemption
The next few days pass almost as a blur. Every since my incident with Minako, the other Senshi have completely ignored me. I pretend not to care, but even I cannot keep up this cool, nonchalant exterior for too long. It only makes me feel worse. Every time we train, I feel their eyes burning into me, expressions of hate and betrayal upon their faces. My only sanctuary is my training. Uranus often pairs with me and it pains me to say that I find her company more enjoyable than being with any of the Senshi. I know I should apologise, but my pride is too important to lose. I am their leader. Even if they hate me, they cannot disobey me.
So I train harder. I put my pent up rage and guilt into my training. Never before have I trained so vigorous. Even Uranus is impressed – which is saying something. But no matter how hard I train, I cannot rid from my mind the words of Minako and her hurt expression. I am faced with it during the day and even at night, when I close my eyes, she still haunts me. I just wish I knew what to do... how to make things better.
It's my night with the Princess again. I find her in her room, brushing her long blonde hair in the mirror. She beams when she sees me enter and rises from her chair, strangling me in a bear hug.
"Mako!" she cries. I chuckle slightly. As much as I don't understand Serenity, she does make me smile. And right now, she is the only person who doesn't completely hate my guts.
"Hello, Serenity. Aren't you meant to be doing your studies?"
She shakes her head and bites her lip. "No. Mother gave me the night off."
I know she is lying, but I don't have the heart to force her into doing something she doesn't want to.
"Okay then," I say. "So what do you want to do then?"
"Can we just talk?" she asks meekly. "I don't really have any friends my age. I never get to actually have a proper conversation with them. It's always, 'yes Princess, no Princess, whatever you say Princess.' Yeah, kind of annoying after a while."
She pouts and blows her fringe out of her face. I decide to sit beside her on her bed and cross my legs, facing her.
"I understand what you mean. Sometimes I wish my father wouldn't treat me as a girl. I wish he would fully recognise me as a warrior and let me go with him."
"I heard about that," says Serenity softly. "Minako told me how upset you were when Jupiter wouldn't allow you to join him on his expedition to Earth."
My heart sinks. She knows. Of course she knows. That's probably why she wants to 'talk'. So she can scold me for being so inconsiderate towards Mina.
"Mina told you that?"
Serenity nods solemnly. "She also told me about the fight you two had."
I bow my head, ashamed. The last thing I need is to be reminded of that night. It had been such a disappointment – a night of betrayals. My father had let me down. I had let Mina down. I don't want to remember.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I gaze up at the Moon Princess through my thick curly hair – it's out of its usual ponytail since I had a shower. She regards me fondly, as though I am a child that has just been caught doing something they shouldn't and is about to confess. I hate it. I don't need to be patronized. I am older than Serenity. But as I sit in silence, I realise she just wants to help me, to listen to me.
"I suppose so," I finally mumble.
"Well good," says Serenity brightly. I hate her optimistic approach to life. It's so unnatural. "I want to hear your side of the story!"
"What? Why? This isn't a counselling session?"
But the Princess only shakes her head. "The only way to accept your mistake and move on is understanding what exactly happened. Besides..." she smirks, "I just like gossip."
I roll my eyes at her. She can be so insufferable at times. But I cave in and tell her my side. I tell her about my father refusing me to accompany him to Earth. I tell her about my conversation with Mina. And I tell her about how I accidentally spoke my thoughts aloud. Once I finish, I sigh. Most people say that talking to someone lifts a huge weight off your shoulders... but I feel as though someone has trapped me under the weight of all of Jupiter. My confession has only resurfaced those emotions which I have tried to hide.
"You don't like it here?" asks Serenity, tears swimming in her eyes. Great. I've hurt another friend.
"No, no, Serenity," I say quickly, taking her small dainty hand. It is so white and smooth, unlike my own tanned, callused hand from my ruthless training. "I do like it here. The Moon is... beautiful. The most beautiful place I have ever seen. But it's just not... home."
Serenity nods slowly, taking it in. "I understand now," she says. "You're just homesick."
"Wait, what?" I ask. "Me... homesick?"
"Yes. Of course. Why didn't I see this before! That's why you were so disappointed that your father didn't take you with him. That's why you took out your anger on Mina. You feel trapped. You want to go home!"
I have to admit that I wasn't expecting this. Maybe that I have a problem holding my tongue, or I'm too proud, but homesick? I tell her so.
"Well," Serenity agrees. "You are too proud and you do have a problem with holding your tongue. But that's not the main issue. You miss Jupiter. Being here, its making you feel trapped. You need to spend some time on your home planet, rejuvenate and come back with a fresh start."
Serenity's words make sense. I have indeed been missing Jupiter – its endless rain storms and the clash of thunder as my bedtime lullaby. Perhaps returning to my home planet will clear my head.
I sigh. "I can't leave now," I say grudgingly. "Mina hates me. I won't leave until I resolve this and earn her forgiveness."
"She doesn't hate you," says Serenity, giving me a warm smile. Her blue eyes are so full of hope that I can't help by believe her. "She just needs to be able to trust you again. Go. Apologise. And once you do, then I will grant you leave to Jupiter."
I grin at the prospect of seeing Jupiter again. Not knowing what has come over me, I pull Serenity into a tight hug and kiss her cheek.
"Thank you, Princess," I cry happily as I leap off the bed and race down the hall to Mina's room. "Thank you!"
xXx
Minako's room is two down from mine. I hesitate before the door, unsure of what I have to do. How will I face her? What if she refuses to accept my apology? I shake my head. The only way to know for certain is to apologise. I summon all my courage and rap my knuckles against the wooden door.
"Who is it?" Mina's voice floats under the door.
I gulp. "It me."
She must recognise my voice for she instantly replies, "Go away Makoto." Her harshness leaves me frozen on the spot. The easy option would be to leave her and try another time. But I am a soldier of Jupiter. I don't submit for the easy options. I strive for the challenge.
"Please, Minako. I need to talk to you."
Silence.
I hear her footsteps approach the door. It swings open to reveal Mina standing in the doorway in her nightgown, her hair down and out of his ribbon. Her arms are folded across her chest and her blue eyes narrow are me. At first I think she is going to slam the door in my face but she doesn't move. It is as though she is waiting for me to make the first move.
"Mina," I begin, swallowing my pride. This is hard to do. My pride is all I have. Without it I am vulnerable, without it I lay all my emotions out on a silver platter. But I continue. "I'm so sorry about what I said to you. I never meant to hurt you. Sometimes, I just have a problem with keeping my thoughts to myself. Please, forgive me."
Mina glares up at me. This cold, expressionless girl is so different to the one I used to know. The girl who always smiled and was so bubbly she reminded me of the Princess. In her place, is this nonchalant, almost robotic girl, and I don't know how to handle her. I can deal with anger. But I can't deal with ignorance.
"So," she says bitterly, "you want me to forgive you so that you can go back to how everything was before, is that right?"
"Yes!" I plead, amazed that she has forgiven me so easily.
"Well, sorry to disappoint you, Makoto, but that's not how life works. You make a mistake, you have to live with the consequences. Surely you know this, from all your time spent on the battlefield."
My heart knots tightly in my chest. I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. If I were in Mina's situation, I wouldn't be so forgiving either. Forgiveness is weakness.
"Please, Mina!" I beg. "I'm awfully sorry about what I said. I didn't mean to…"
"To what?" she cuts in. "To say it out loud? You were still thinking it Makoto. You think I'm pathetic. You think all of us are pathetic!"
Her eyes are blazing with something I can't quite place. I feel my own eyes welling with silly tears. I force them back. Now is not the time to cry.
"No!" I reach out for her hand. "I don't think you're pathetic."
"Don't lie to me!" she shouts, her voice rising. "I know you think we're pathetic. Ever since you arrived, all you've talked about is how unfair your life is. How you wish you could join your father and be a soldier. How you hate being a Princess. Well you know what?" She storms forward, her hands on her hips. "You are a Princess. And your life is pretty fantastic compared to other people's out there. At least you have a home and an education. There are so many people out there who don't have that."
I sigh. "I know that."
"You know what, Makoto," says Mina, her voice full of pity. "You're the pathetic one. You are so afraid of looking weak that you bottle up your emotions and hide away from the world."
This comment makes me angry. Who does she think she is, talking to me like that? Frustrated tears spill down my cheeks, hot and sizzling with energy.
"I am not pathetic!" I bellow, letting my disappointment and my rage burst out of me. My body is visibly shaking from rage. But Mina doesn't walk away. She actually starts to smile. Without warning, she pulls me into a fierce hug.
"There you go," she whispers. "Doesn't that feel better?"
I pout. I want to contradict her and say no, but I cannot lie to myself. A huge weight has been lifted off my chest, as though I have just release a fiery beast that has been trapped inside me for so long.
"Does this mean you forgive me?" I mumble.
She pulls back and gives me a warm smile. "I'd already forgiven you, Mako," she says.
"What? Then why did you ignore me all week?" I cry, putting my hands on my hips.
She smirks at me. "I come from Venus, Mako. We are the planet of love. My mother always taught me that a world full of love is better than a world full of hate and distrust. Besides, it's easier to ignore you. It's harder to forgive."
"I've heard that before," I say, remembering my father's words. Forgiveness is not weakness.
"I just wanted to help you, Mako. You're so pent up with anger and rage and you need to let it out. I know what you said to me you didn't mean, and even though it hurt at the time, I forgive you."
I gape at her. How could she be so forgiving? She gives me more credit than I deserve. I practically insulted her and the other Senshi.
"So are you just going to stand there and gape at me like an idiot?" she winks at me.
I grin at her, feeling lighter than I have in weeks.
"You know, I've never seen you cry before. It was quite touching." Mina pretends to brush a tear away dramatically, making me raise my eyebrows.
"Do that anymore and you'll be the one crying!" I cross my arms and act tough, but Mina just laughs.
"Whatever you do, don't touch the face. I have a date tonight!"
And with that, she pulls me into her bedroom to interrogate me about hair and makeup.
So what did you think? Please review :) xx
