(Kaneki's POV)
For the next two days after the fight between Banjou and Mado, I kept myself in the back of the shop, cleaning dishes. I would much rather be manning the register but fear made me shy away from it. Word had it that Mr. Mado remained in the CCG HQ, no doubt gaining back his strength and healing. After healing, he would no doubt come looking for Banjou so it was best to keep my distance.
I was also expecting my mask from Uta. He had called the shop earlier today and told me it would be ready around 8:00, so I bided my time, taking breaks to read and banter with Koma. Irimi had called in sick today, claiming to have been vomiting since midnight. She said it was just some bad meat, a twenty-four hour bug which would probably vanish by tomorrow. Touka waited on customers, the job she seemed most comfortable at doing. In between her shifts she took the liberty to help teach me to make coffee. The coffee she made wasn't as good as Manager's, but still delicious nonetheless. My coffee however, was as terrible as it comes. The beverage was bitter, with only a tinge of sweetness, and extremely watery.
"Just take your time ya idiot. It's not gonna be ready in ten seconds, it takes time," she would tell me over and over again. Still, I continued to mess up though, raising her levels of aggravation. Each little training session I felt I was getting slowly better, but I still had a very long way to go. I also really enjoyed the time with Touka. She usually spent a lot of time studying and never really talked so it was nice to spend time together. I had been working at Anteiku for three years but I still knew so little about her.
"Hey Touka."
"Hmm?" she hummed.
"Why do you study so hard? If it's okay for me to ask…"
She snapped her head towards me, her eyebrows raised. "I'm going to Kami, so I need good grades."
"Oh, okay…"
Well that was short…
But, when she mentioned Kami, it struck a memory in me. It was a memory of a nice summer day, about two years ago. It was the memory of a promise.
. . . . . . . .
Two Years Ago…
My feet dangled off the side of the monkey bars. I was in a remote park, closed last Fall because of the Ghoul attacks at the time. The place never reopened, so there it sat in the elements, rusting and creaking under its own weight. The sun beat down hard on me, but I tilted my head to the sky, bathing in it. My eyes were closed and the sun made my eyelids look red. Those moments dragged on, but not in a negative way. For a brief moment, my eyelids blackened then flashed red again. My eyes opened and a hand waved back into my face.
"Ya alright? Earth to Kaneki!"
I turned my head into the face of Hide, smiling brightly.
"What is it you dimwit?"
Hide snickered,"Just looking at your face burn."
My hand went up to face, tapping on the skin. It was slightly warm, but stung as I released the pressure with my fingertips. I winced and Hide handed me an old backpack of his. Inside were three giant bags filled with ice, condensation covering the outer part of it. Inside the bags were bars of ice cream, wrapped individually. Hide brought fruit flavored ice cream bars, chocolate flavored ones, and a pint of mint chocolate chip. I bought four juice boxes and two cream sodas. We had already ate half of it in an attempt to keep us cool, but we still ended up layered in sweat. I took out a bar of chocolate ice cream and rubbed it along my forehead before unwrapping it and taking a bite of cold chocolate.
"We're gonna have one hell of a stomach ache after this," Hide sighed.
"I'd say it's worth it," I answered and Hide nodded in agreement.
"Say Kaneki, do you think Touka and Yoriko could get us the number of that hottie in Class 9-C?"
"Doubt it."
"Yeah… Hey! Let's say that you were a Ghoul okay? Well, would you rather eat her or Touka?"
I choked on a bit of ice cream and coughed back,"Well, Touka of course! I mean, at least she'd get eaten by someone she knew, right?"
Hide laughed back," Yeah I guess you're right."
I grinned a little and looked back into the sky with my eyes closed. Hide cracked open a soda and took a long big slurp of it. I looked back at him and Hide looked into his can, somber.
"What's up?" I inquired.
"What are we gonna do after this? Ya know, school… Are we gonna split up, go our separate ways, get jobs, live, then die without saying another word to each other?"
"Huh?! Why would we do that? We're best friends!"
Hide looked sadly at the ground,"Well, my dad says that we probably won't be friends after school. He said it was just a 'childhood friendship' and that we would 'grow out of each other.' The truth is, I don't want that to happen."
"Me neither," I whispered.
"Okay then, let's promise."
"Huh?"
Hide turned towards me and held out his hand, every finger but his pinky tucked into his palm. I did the same, locking our fingers together.
"Let's go to Kami and be friends forever! We have to study our butts off, but let's do it! Promise?"
I looked into his eyes and smiled.
"Promise."
Hide smiled back and we turned towards the sky, a promise carved into our young hearts.
. . . . . . . .
Present…
I slid open the classroom door and stepped inside nervous and anxious. It's been about a week and a half since I last went to school.
So much homework.
The teacher looked up from his desk and eyed me curiously.
"Ken Kaneki, is that you?"
I spoke up rather loudly,"Yes sir!"
"No need to be so eager for trigonometry. Mr. Sanji has been keeping your seat warm for you these past couple of days. Sit down and open to page 346 and work on problems six through thirty-two. I trust you have your books?"
I flashed him my textbook and he replied,"Good. I'll also need your absentee slip and that shall be all. Welcome back."
I handed him the blue piece of paper and sat down to begin working. My breath stuck into my chest and I tugged on my eyepatch. As I began scratching numbers into my notebook, I stole a glance towards Hide, who sat three seats to my right. He looked straight into my eyes and seemed to have been watching me since I walked through the door. He seemed impatient and rather calm. I smiled to him and he smiled back at me, then that was it. I did my work and he did his. Before we knew it the bell was ringing in our ears and we were leaving the class.
I snaked through the crowd of people filing out the door and began walking down the hallway.
It's coming, I know it.
I looked over my shoulder towards the crowd and waited, expecting to see something like a train come barreling through the mass of students.
"KANEKI!"
There it is.
People turned towards the scream and were pushed to the side, some by sheer force. Hide burst through the crowd like a bullet, his face red and excited, showing extreme happiness. I smiled at him but then suddenly realised I should brace myself. Hide closed the distance between us in mere seconds and before I knew it, he was leaping onto me. I exhaled a laugh and patted his back before playfully pushing him off of me.
"You bastard! You know that rabbits die if they get lonely right!?"
"Language Mr. Hideyoshi!"
We both laughed and walked the halls together just like we did the day my life changed.
The day I became something different than what my friend remembered me as…
. . . . . . . .
"Here for pickup I presume?"
Uta sat on his velvet stool, licking an eyeball, which he offered to me.
"No thanks," I waved him away,"But yeah, is it ready?"
"That's up to you. Just tell me anything you don't like about it and I'll be sure to fix it to your liking."
Uta leaned over to pick up a box to his left. It was wooden with golden accents, accompanied by an intricate little latch. Uta flipped open the latch and slowly opened the box while smiling.
The bastard's enjoying this.
The creak of the box's hinges made the wait even that more painful but after a long time, the box finally opened.
I widened my eyes a bit, not sure what to think except that this would be my mask. Sitting on top of the velvet lining in the box was my mask. It was a black, glossy leather mask. A patch of black leather had rough stitching on it, connected to a strap that ran to the other side of the patch. An eyepatch. The part that seemed to wrap around the lower face struck me the most. On it was wide, sinister smile which bared it's teeth maniacally. The gums that molded around the teeth was a dark red and to top it all off, there was a zipper which kept the smile together.
When I asked Uta about the zipper he responded, "In case you need easy access to your food."
I nodded, removed my eyepatch, and proceeded to strap the mask around my face. At first it was constrictive, barely giving me room to breath, but as I moved my face the leather loosened up. Uta handed me a mirror and I reveled in my own glory. The mask gave me a sinister and playful look. It made me feel powerful. Little to my knowledge I was smiling. I don't know why, but It felt like…
… I belonged here, in the Ghoul world.
"Thanks," I muttered.
"Huh?"
I unzipped the mouth, spreading the teeth apart to reveal my real smile.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it. Just be careful Ken, you're not invincible with that on ya know. I've seen eyes like that, evil eyes."
"You mean eye, other one's covered," I retorted.
"Well the eye you're showing me doesn't look all that nice either…"
I blinked and looked back into the mirror. My Kakugan was showing brightly. Combined with my smile, I really didn't look that nice. I looked hungry…
"Oh my, sorry about that my dear, you just got so excited that I couldn't hold back."
My evil little friend draped her arms over my shoulders, her hands caressing my chest. It sent a shiver down my spine.
Leave. Me. ALONE. I said I'd use you, that doesn't mean we're best friends.
"You're right. We're more than that. We are two halves of a whole. We are human and Ghoul combined. We need each other. I need you to live, you need me to continue to live. Pretty simple."
The lady rested her head in the crook of my neck, gently licking me. I shivered again, pushing her away. She just giggled and wrapped her arms around me again.
"Relax, I'm just playing. By the way, you taste disgusting. You're nothing like when we first met. You were so sweet and juicy, but now you're rancid and dried out. That says a lot doesn't it?"
I don't know what you mean so get away from me lady!
The lady backed away from me and I glared back at her. She was crying, actually hurting it seemed.
"You really don't remember my name! Instead, you just call me 'lady'. I thought I'd be a little more memorable! Can you even try to remember me!?"
I felt my left eye itch and burn before I answered.
"Yes."
. . . . . . . .
My head was light and my eyes had black spots which clouded my vision. Dust hovered in the air and ringing echoed in my ears. It felt like lava was spilling out of my stomach and my legs wouldn't move an inch. Through the black spots in my eyes, I could see the stars in the night sky. They all looked so healthy and happy. They were mocking me. My head slowly fell down so I could see my surroundings. To my right was a bloodied book, which laid torn and frayed. Directly in front of me laid a mound of metal with liquid seeping out from beneath. A hand poked out from underneath the mass. The fingers twitched slightly and I could make out the purple nail polish which layered the hand's nails.
From the distance I heard the crunch of footsteps on the gritty dirt. Then there was a clapping.
"Good job my lady, you're dead. You just had to run didn't you Rize?"
My eyes wanted to snap shut, and they almost did, but I somehow kept them open until I heard the man say.
"Well isn't that Ken Kaneki? Damn… I guess we killed two birds with one stone."
I looked up and tried to look the man in the face but it was covered by a mask. I could only solidly see the familiar tattoo that wrapped around his neck.
. . . . . . . .
"Do you know my name know Kaneki dear?"
"Rize."
There was a shuffle behind me and I whipped around to face Uta. His tattoo seemed to burn a permanent image in my mind.
"Did you say something Ken? Is something not to your liking?"
I stared blankly, my Kakugan glowing. The burning in my eye snaked downwards in little lines.
I can feel it in my veins.
Hatred.
"Hello? Earth to eyepatch?"
"It's fine Uta."
"You sure?"
My hand crept up to my chin and I grasped it tightly.
"Yes."
. . . . . . . .
I walked the now nearly empty and dark streets, heading towards my new home, Anteiku. I need the comfort of everyone like Koma, Irimi, Touka, and Manager. I need to tell them everything.
I walked rather fast, my new mask burning a hole in my back pocket. I wonder if I could have taken him. Fought him. Killed him. Or eaten him.
What?
"Sorry sweetie, I am just so hungry, I could eat anything!"
I'm scared of Rize, especially of how she can change the way I think. She has too much control and I've felt her power growing in me ever since I accepted her. My mask just makes it worse, allowing her to take over completely. I love to wear it though, even though I've only had it on for about five minutes. It makes me feel happy. It makes me feel like I can just forget about myself and let Him take over.
I shudder, this time being fully scared. He has lived in me for a long time. He is everything I've tried not to be. He is hatred, he is merciless, and he has been here ever since Mom started hitting me.
Huh? Mom hit me? When did that happen?
My head spun for a second and I lost balance, staggering onto the pavement. What's wrong with me? Did Rize mess with my head again?
"No."
It was blatant and straightforward. There was no playfulness in her voice. My head stopped spinning and I focused my eyes in Rize, who was laying in my lap, twisting her hair in her fingers. She looked kind of sad, not because of something she experienced, but sad about something I experienced.
I was so confused and dizzy and tired and… hungry?
I rested my hand along Rize's forehead and she smiled gently at me.
We sat like that for a long time too, just us and the brisk chill of the Tokyo air. I no longer felt dizzy or confused but calm. What was happening to me?!
Rize slid her hand towards my butt and I went to swat her hand away, but she was just reaching for my mask. She held it up towards the sky and marveled in it's glory.
"You really fit this ya know? You both give off the same eerie feeling, but He's looks more scary."
"The mask?"
"No, the other one."
I didn't answer or think about what she said; I didn't have time to. A shrill scream sliced through the air and into my ears. I jumped upright and Rize yelped as she fell onto the ground. The mask was in my hands now, smiling up at me. I could have sworn I felt happy at that moment.
. . . . . . . .
With my mask secured around my face, I felt free. I felt invincible and I thought I was, ignoring what Uta said earlier about being that. No one would ever see it, but a smile stayed on my face the entire time I was chasing the scream. I turned through alleys and backstreets before finally reaching the scream. I don't know how, but I knew that this alley was the origin of the plea for help. I could smell it…
My footsteps bounced off the walls to my sides. I was close and my mask was getting hot from my heavy breathing. Trash crunched under my feet and became more abundant as I trudged on. Soon, I came to a left turn which opened into a larger, but still enclosed area. That's where I saw what had enticed my hunger.
A man.
He stood crouched over a little girl no older than fourteen. Her shirt had laid discarded to the man's right and I could hear his piggish breathing from twenty feet back. The man held his hairy hand over the girl's mouth, her tears trickling down and over his hand. He then gently stroked her face, earning a muffled screech and tiny kicks to his legs.
"I love when they squeal!" he yelled.
"So DO I heHe!"
The man jumped up, staring me in the eye.
"Hey listen bud! Why don't you carry your ass out the way you came before someone, other than her get's hurt!"
My smile broadened and I unzipped my mask to show the man. It wasn't to scare him, it was just me letting him know how much I would enjoy this. He then produced a small knife from his pocket. I then noticed Rize standing beside me, giggling.
"He thinks he can hurt us with that? Don't worry Kaneki my dear, that won't even pierce us!"
"OKay!" I smirked.
I stalked forward, stumbling a bit to make him uneasy.
"I warned ya!" he yelled.
In one, slow movement he plunged the knife into my chest. Or so he tried to. The knife crumpled like paper and broke off, clanging on the floor. The man dropped the hilt and grasped his wrist, feeling the whiplash from the blade.
He looked me in the eye and fell backwards yelling, "What are you?!"
I grinned like a madman and answered him.
"I Am a gHOuL!"
I slammed my foot down on the man's knee, shattering it and bending it backwards. He screamed out in pain, almost matching the girl's high pitched voice. I stifled a laugh and bent down over the man, grabbing his leg. He yelped again and began gasping for air.
"Please," he screamed,"DON'T KILL ME!"
I felt a warmth burn in my eye, my Kakugan staring into his very being. He starting sobbing and yelling and I stared at his leg. I ripped half of his pant leg off and stared at his mangled and bleeding leg. I laughed before taking a big bite out of his calf. He yelled and started thrashing, but I slammed my foot into his groin, silencing him to nothing but a whimper. It was good, really good, oh so very GOOD! My only complaint is having to dig his leg hair out of my teeth. I threw his leg back down and the man grasped at it, tears and snot leaking down his face.
"I GuesS You DON't liKe it WHeN YOU're thE onE ScrEAminG!"
I was panting in an animalistic way and smiling like a psycho. I heard a whimper to my right and I glanced over. The girl from earlier was sitting with her legs bundled up to her chest. I took a step closer and she stumbled backwards.
"Oh! Sorry 'bout that! Give me a second!"
I strided over to her discarded shirt, a little blood seeped into the sleeve. I picked it up and walked over to her with my Kakugan covered.
"Mind the blood Miss, got a little messy."
I stretched the shirt out to her and I felt her little hand touch mine as she took the shirt. I heard her speak for the first time since she screamed.
"Th-th-thank you…"
"Not a problem! Now, let's get you outta here-"
"SWEETIE!"
My neck snapped to the right as I saw a lady erupt from around the corner. She was pretty normal looking and of course pretty, but she also bore a striking resemblance to the little girl. I noticed for the first time how they both had light brown hair and slightly chubby cheeks.
"Oh, you must be her mo-"
A heavy and stinging force slammed into me, sending me into the hard brick of one of the four walls which surrounded us. The wind was knocked out of me and I struggled to get back to my feet. My insides were aching and hot, probably internal bleeding. As soon as the pain had come though, it was gone and I groaned in relief. I looked up, confusion in my eye but soon being replaced by awe. There in front of me stood the lady, fury in her eyes. However, erupting from her back, was mass of muscle? It was pale and white, glowing red veins snaking across the blob. I guess you wouldn't call it a blob though, because it had shape.
It looked kind of like a butterfly.
"Beautiful…" I whispered.
The butterfly moved, likely to attack again, and I ducked out of the way. The butterfly smashed into the ground, sending debris and chunks of concrete into my eye.
"Get away from MY DAUGHTER!" she yelled.
Well, at least she is her mother.
"USE YOUR'S KANEKI DEAR!" Rize screamed into my ear.
I have one!?
"OF COURSE, JUST USE IT!"
So, I did. I used my "butterfly" against the mother. At first, the sensation in my back was hot and itchy, kind of like when my Kakugan shows. Then I felt it erupt from my skin, euphoria and pleasure washing over me. It felt like a giant weight was let off my shoulders. It felt like I grew three extra muscles on my back and I could control each of them as easily as my other limbs. The limbs wiggled and stretched, looking like jelly as they moved, but hard as steel when felt.
"This is your Kagune dear. Use it well!"
My Kagune limbs snaked around me, pointing directly at the mother. They were ready to strike, and so was I.
"HAhA, OOhhhHh…. tHIs is GOnNa Be FuuUuUUn!"
I zipped my mouth back together and readied myself. The mother looked uneasy, probably judging to see how crazy I was. On a scale from 1 to 10, she probably would vote ten-fucking-thousand. Well, she's not wrong.
"You ShOuldN'T StaRT FiGHts YoU Can'T FINish!"
My Kagune danced around me, eager to feel the ripping of her flesh and bones.
I stepped forward and staggered onto my knees. I tried looking down at my legs but a crystal like, purple, and red shard was sticking through my neck, keeping me from moving my head. Blood gushed from around the shard and I found that I couldn't breath. I gasped for air, making blood spill out of my nose and mouth. Then the shard started to turn into ash, dissipating into the air and leaving a giant hole in my neck. I gasped one more time for air before falling to the ground in complete anguish.
"PATHETIC"
That word echoed in my mind. It wasn't Rize speaking so…
….Who was it?
