Merlin sat uncomfortably on a large rock while the knights went through the sacks, recovering their armor and weapons. He shivered slightly.
"It'll be dawn soon." Gwaine said, sitting himself down at Merlin's feet, and proffering up a large chunk of honey cake.
"Thanks." Merlin accepted the honey cake gratefully, and gingerly broke off a bite-sized bit. He watched Arthur as he chewed absent-mindedly.
Arthur was staring toward the receding darkness in the east, his brow furrowed, his good arm wrapped around his broken one, which was cradled in a sling Merlin had fashioned for him out of a belt and some armor underpadding. Merlin could tell he was trying to reach a decision of some sort. He was so pale. Merlin desperately wished he could use his magic to relieve Arthur of some of his pain…
"Merlin," Gwaine said quietly, "there's something I think we should talk about –"
"I wasn't – they didn't – " Merlin faltered, and then stopped, his face flushed. He looked away from Gwaine. "I don't want to talk about it, alright?" He took a deep breath and said in a louder voice that he knew would carry, "They meant to rape me but they never got the chance to." He glanced up hesitantly. No one was looking at him except Arthur, but all other conversation had temporarily ceased so he knew they had all heard him. Arthur raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head ever so slightly before turning away again. Merlin could almost hear him think, well, that was subtly done, Merlin.
Merlin shrugged. "Well, that's the end of that." he mumbled.
"Don't take this the wrong way, Merlin, but I wouldn't count on most of them believing that." Gwaine said.
"Why not?" Merlin's voice was defiant.
Gwaine sighed as he met Merlin's gaze. His expression was soft and Merlin felt an inexplicable anger at the pity he thought he saw there. "Because if I didn't know you were telling the truth, Merl, I'd think you were just too ashamed to admit what had happened." He put his hand on Merlin's boot, and gave a friendly squeeze around Merlin's ankle. "Don't lash out at me either, for telling you the truth. I'm your friend, Merlin."
"I – I know." Merlin's anger subsided. "Gwaine, I was just so scared. I'm ashamed of how terrified I was." he whispered.
Gwaine gave his ankle another squeeze, and shook his head. Merlin thought his eyes glistened in the semi-darkness. "You had every right to feel terrified," he whispered hoarsely, "anyone would, in that situation. You have nothing to feel ashamed of, mate."
They sat there a moment in silence.
"Thanks." Merlin said, finally.
Gwaine nodded, and then grinned. "Actually, that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about."
"No? What then? Did you want my opinion on your stunning new socks?"
Gwaine pursed his lips in mock anger, "I'll have you know, I intend to make these the new fashion in Camelot. Furry socks, for every lady and every lord."
Merlin couldn't help but laugh. It felt good, too. He grinned at Gwaine. "So, how come you're so sure that I'm telling the truth, then?" he asked, slightly more somber.
"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about –"
"Gwaine, Merlin," Percival came up to them, holding Merlin's recovered cloak. "Are you alright here, the two of you?"
"Yeah, right as rain. Righter, even." Gwaine winked.
"Well, he's obviously feeling better. Might have something to do with the fact that he drank nearly half of the mead we found." Percival smiled at Merlin, handing him the cloak.
"Hair of the dog." Gwaine protested.
"You were punched in the head, mate, not drunk." Percival rolled his eyes.
Merlin smiled back at Percival. "Thanks. Found your chainmail, I see. Arms feel warmer now?" he asked, in his most innocent voice.
Gwaine snorted loudly.
"I have a cloak too, you know." Percival laughed good-naturedly. He sat down on Merlin's other side. "I was really worried about you before." he added quietly, looking up at Merlin.
"Yeah," Merlin nodded. "Thanks, Perce." He didn't know if it was the cloak, or Gwaine and Percival on either side of him, but he felt suddenly warmer on the inside. "The two of you, you're – you're good friends to me, better than I deserve. Thanks."
After a few seconds of awkward silence, he added, "And black and blue are such good colors on you."
"Look manly, don't they?"
"I think they complement my eyes."
Gwaine and Percival touched their bruises cautiously, grinning at each other like a pair of idiots.
Merlin shook his head amusedly and took another bite of honey cake.
"Sire, Elyan is returning, with our horses!" Leon called.
Elyan trotted up the path towards them, with all of their horses following close behind, loosely tied to each other. He dismounted near Arthur.
"Well done, Sir Elyan! Find anything else of interest?"
Merlin could feel Arthur determinedly not looking in his direction.
"Sire, the tracks were not hard to follow. It seems," he paused and gave a Merlin a puzzled glance, which Merlin pretended not to notice, "that the bandits are all, in fact, dead. All signs, various items and footprints as well, seem to point towards them being in a cave, which apparently, er, collapsed."
"Collapsed?" Arthur stared at Elyan, and then at Merlin.
Merlin knew he was wondering whether asking for an explanation would be dishonorable after promising he would not demand one until the next day.
"Merlin, you lucky dog you!" Gwaine slapped him on the knee. "How did that happen?"
"Um –" Merlin hesitated, and Gwaine raised both eyebrows at him, as if encouraging him to go on.
"Well, they took me to the cave and – and then they told me what they were going to do to me –" Merlin swallowed. The more personal this is, the less likely they are to ask more questions, he told himself.
He hadn't planned on coming up with a good lie until later. He hadn't been able to lie to Arthur before, in the cellar; he hadn't even been sure that he wanted to. He'd felt too vulnerable, too emotionally spent, but now he steeled his earlier resolve – his magic must remain secret, for Arthur's own safety. His mind was racing now. Why would I be outside the cave all by myself? Come on, Merlin, you should be a practiced liar by now...
"They were all in the cave," he continued, more firmly now, "and then Beroun said that – that he would go first –"
Merlin noticed with some satisfaction that Elyan and Leon were looking very uncomfortable.
"– but he said he didn't need an audience, and he dragged me outside and – and tied my arms around a tree –"
He was definitely making even himself uncomfortable now, but so much the better.
"– he removed some of my clothes –"
Oh brilliant, Merlin, and then what, he suddenly remembered he'd left some soup cooking so he decided to pop back into the cave just in time for a convenient cave-in?
"– and then he said he needed some – needed some oil."
Brute like him would probably just spit in his palm, Merlin thought privately, but he doubted anyone would ask any questions at this point.
Gwaine covered his mouth with his hand, his eyes fixed on the ground in front of him.
"He left me tied to the tree like that – and went back into the cave. He was in there for a while and then I heard shouting from inside –"
Might as well leave some possibility for mysterious circumstances, he thought.
"– and then suddenly there was a huge rumbling noise and the cave collapsed."
There. That ought to explain everything.
He cleared his throat and looked up. Everyone seemed understandably uncomfortable, but they all seemed to accept his story – except Arthur. Arthur was staring intently at him, as if he'd never seen him before in his life. Their eyes met, and Arthur shook his head, his lips pressed together. Merlin's heart sank as he realized what Arthur meant. No, Merlin, I don't believe you. You have until tomorrow, as I promised.
"Merlin, you didn't have to –" it was Leon's turn to uncomfortably clear his throat, "but, well, we're all glad you're safe and – and unharmed."
"Yes, that was indeed a stroke of luck." Sir Brennis added. "You were born under a lucky star, boy. Good thing you managed to get yourself untied."
"Um – yes. The knot wasn't very tight. I – I imagine Beroun was too much in a hurry."
"Merlin, were these things here when those men came for you?" Elyan gestured towards the now-empty sacks and boxes.
"Um – yes." Merlin frowned. How impolite, he thought, to continue questioning me now, when I am clearly very upset – and might not be able to lie convincingly.
"These things," Arthur intervened suddenly, "were meant for Morgana."
"They were?" Merlin asked, surprised.
"Yes." Arthur smiled bitterly. "Morgana, she always did love honey. She would have appreciated the gift."
"Oh," Merlin suddenly remembered a story he'd heard Cook tell, "that's right! Leon got her to kiss him for a honey cake once."
Leon blushed fiercely. "On the cheek," he said quickly, stammering a bit. "I was very young and foolish."
"You were young once, Sir Leon?"
"That's enough, Gwaine." Arthur commanded. "Merlin, bring me my horse and help me mount."
Merlin rose to obey.
"We will not reach Camelot by nightfall," Arthur continued, addressing them all, "I cannot ride fast enough for that in my condition. I do not know when Morgana was expected to arrive here. The river is shallow enough to ride in near its bank, we will follow it a while to cover our tracks instead of heading straight for Camelot, making the location of our campsite tonight less predictable and harder to find. I expect to reach Camelot before tomorrow evening. Any questions?"
There weren't any questions, and the knights were ready to ride within moments.
"Sire, your horse." Merlin handed Arthur the reins, allowing his hand to linger in Arthur's longer than strictly necessary, as he usually did these days. He slid his thumb slowly against his lover's gloved palm, a gentle caress. His heart was pounding and he was trying to fight down a growing sense of panic.
Arthur sighed and pulled his hand away, albeit reluctantly. "I know you too well now, Merlin," he whispered. "I know you intimately. Your face, your voice, your expressions…"
He nudged the horse forward a few steps until it completely blocked them both from view, and then turned to Merlin again. "It seemed to be only small things until now, these past few weeks, and I always imagined up valid excuses for you in my mind, but – I can tell when you're being dishonest, Merlin. Honestly, I'm shocked I never noticed before." Merlin felt his breath catch in his throat at the hurt look in Arthur's clear blue eyes. "I don't know why you would lie about this, or anything else, and it frightens me. I have been lied to before, by those I trusted most." Arthur swallowed hard, and looked away.
"Arthur, I –" Merlin stopped, not sure what to say. Too many emotions were whirling around inside of him right now. He felt overwhelmed and definitely panicked.
"It has been a long night for all of us." Arthur said, using his royal tone of voice again, as usual mastering his own emotions more easily than Merlin. "We should get going. Help me up, Merlin."
Feeling numb, Merlin helped Arthur climb into his saddle and then stood watching him as he trotted off towards Leon without a backward glance.
