Hello my lovely readers, I am back with another update! I hope you enjoy this Chapter, to forewarn you there is a POV change, because let's face it, it would be hard to write from Jay's POV after what happened last chapter (trust me, I tried...). Happy Reading!
"Erin… you need to let him go, the medics are here, let them do their job." Voight told her. Antonio crouched down on the opposite side, grabbing Jay's wrist, feeling for a pulse, not finding one to much disappointment.
"He can't be…" she stuttered as she tried her best to stop the tears from falling. She leaned down and whispered something in his ear, that was incoherent to the others before placing a light kiss on his cheek as a pair of hands were on her shoulders, pulling her back and leading her outside.
"What have we got?" asked Paramedic Sylvie Brett as she and another pair of footsteps quickly walked into the living space.
"He was shot with a 20-gauge shotgun from about 3 yards back, went through the vest…" Dawson filled in the young paramedic "We lost his pulse…" he lowly whispered.
"Ok good. You said shotgun, right? That means lower the caliber the less damage it could have done internally."
Antonio said nothing but nodded his head.
"You got a pulse?" asked the male paramedic as he knelt down at his side.
"Not yet." The Sylvie responded a few seconds later. "Let's put the pads on, just to be sure."
"Shouldn't we just call it?" the male ask.
"He is not dead until we have done everything in our power for him. And when that's not enough, we will take him to Med, they can decide what to do from there."
"But realistically he is dead."
"McAuley! Just shut the fuck up! He is a friend and he is not going to die if I can help it." Brett yelled. "The EKG is picking up a pulse, it's faint but there, do you want to check it or would you rather let him die?"
There was complete silence in the room, "Yeah… I feel it, it's weak, about 16."
Sylvie nodded her head before she began to examine the entry of the bullet, which was located in the lower part of the chest.
"You mean… you mean to tell me that he is not dead?" Ruzek asked.
"No, not yet but he needs a hospital. Now." Brett heavily implied.
"Then why is he so… lifeless? Why couldn't we find a pulse?"
"He's not lifeless, he is just unconscious. He has lost a lot of blood and his body couldn't handle it. Now, I know you all have questions but there is not a lot more we can do here." Brett told Adam before she began directing out orders "Kevin! You and Adam help me load him?" They quickly loaded him onto a backboard, before carrying him outside and placing him on the stretcher.
"Is he going to be ok?" Erin asked as she noticed them coming out of the door.
"It's touch and go, but I'm confident after surgery he will be fine."
"Is it ok if I ride with you?" Erin asked with a pleading tone.
"Sure, you can ride in the cab." Brett told her.
They loaded him into the back of the ambulance, administering oxygen, and beginning a bag of ringers lactate. Sylvie contacted Chicago Med, letting them know of their incoming patient, and they soon arrived to the hospital in a matter of minutes.
"What have we got?" asked the on-call Emergency Room doctor as he opened the ambulance doors.
"Male. 32. Currently unconscious after suffering a GSW from a 20-gauge shotgun to the chest. No exit. Estimated blood loss…" she continued to tell him as they made their way into an open trauma door, Erin following in behind.
"Somebody page Dr,Rhodes!"
"Will, you can't work on your brother." Erin told him as they switched Jay over from the stretcher into a hospital bed.
"I can until Connor gets here."
"Will, let me take over, until Connor can get here. You are too close." Natalie spoke as she began pulling him away from Jay.
Will let out a sigh, before nodding his head, and stepping back, falling against a wall that Erin was leaning against.
"Breath sounds are full and equal bilaterally, pulse is low and thready, no readable BP…" Maggie told her before continuing on with her verbal assessment.
"I want a pint of Blood administered followed by a CT scan of the chest please. Let's move." Natalie ordered before they began scurrying about, moving Jay down the hallway, with Will following.
Erin, knowing that she could not go past the double doors, went the opposite way, finding the rest of intelligence sitting in a small waiting room.
She stepped foot into the room, all eyes turned to her, she looked around, and shook her head, before she fell into a badly cushioned couch that was off by itself, yet somewhat close to the door.
The silence of the team filled the room, the hustle and bustle of the hospital continuing around them as if nothing ever happened, which to them something like this was everyday life. Voight leaned back in his chair, and began observing his team, something he did often from the confinement of his office, to make sure that the team was working as he deemed fit, if ever a problem occurred, he would immediately work out the kink. The Intelligence Unit of the 21st district, was made up of some of the most unique individuals, with varying background histories, that is what made them a team, and a family, but his team and most importantly, his family, seemed to have fallen apart right before his eyes.
Kevin was sitting across from Voight, and therefor became the first victim of his assessment, he tried his best to stay awake, throwing back coffee after coffee but the caffeine never hit his system and he began dozing off.
Antonio was sitting two seats down, with his head hung low in his hands, he clutched his phone tight in his fist. Voight assumed that he had just gotten off the phone with Laura, who probably wanted to have the kids this weekend, his weekend.
Adam and Kim were sitting on the opposite side of the room. Kim had come running in not long after Erin. She still donned her patrol uniform. From Voight's position, he could see that Kim was holding onto Adam's hand for dear life, silently promising to never let go.
Voight cast his gaze over towards Alvin, who was peeling an Orange, casting his gaze around the room, doing what Voight had been doing.
Mouse, was sitting in a corner, off to the side, away from the rest of the team, staring off into space, if Voight had to guess, he was day-dreaming in the one place he wished he could forever erase from his memory.
And then there was Erin, she was closest to the door, yearning for someone to bring any kind of update but she was also trying to keep it professional, trying to hold herself together. Voight studied her for a few minutes, she had her eyes closed tightly, and every muscle in her body was tense. Physically she looked healthy, all things considered that she had went through over the past few months. But he knew that mentally, she was blaming herself, for the things that had happened to Jay, how she was supposed to be there, to have his back and she didn't. It had been Voight's idea to have her go to the base to visit with Justin and Olive, he thought that it would be a good way for her to re-adjust and get settled back into life. Erin had drove back to Chicago last night, and had gotten to Voight's early that morning. He let Erin sleep in, and told the team he would make it for the bust but plans changed and he took Erin out for breakfast, just like old times. They we're half-way to the location of the bust, keeping an ear on the events of the bust through a private channel Mouse had made and installed on the hand-helds specifically for intelligence, when they heard the call go out. Judging by the tone of Adams voice it was serious, Voight pressed his foot harder onto the gas pedal as the flipped over the switches for the lights and sirens. He glanced over towards Erin, who was as white as a ghost, clutching onto the handle that was attached to the roof. As they approached the scene, he never had enough time to put the SUV in park before she was jumping out and running up the steps.
And now here they were, sitting in the waiting room, hoping for good news but thinking the worse, knowing the worse.
Erin opened her eyes and glanced at the clock hanging mockingly over the door, they had been operating for almost four hours now, and during that time the hands on the clock seemed to move by at a snail's pace every time she looked, but it went by quicker than expected. 'Must have fallen asleep.' She thought to herself. She was about to get up, and get a cup of coffee, but her actions we're halted, instead she jumped to her feet and ran out into the hallway, her sudden movements causing the entire unit to jump out of reaction. But they quickly seen as to what she was reacting to, and they joined her in the hallway.
"How is he?" "Is he alive?" "Was there any complications?" They all asked Dr. Rhodes who was standing in green scrubs at the nurse's station, filling out a chart.
Connor let out a sigh "He is alive, and stable for his condition. It was touch and go for a while, the bullet clipped the edge of one of his heart valves, which caused massive internal bleeding."
"So he's alive?" Ruzek asked to confirm what he heard.
"Yes, but he is also critical, he will be in post-op for a few more minutes before they move him down to the Cardiac Unit. You can see him once they get him settled. Any more questions?"
The team shook their heads no, and turned around to head back towards the waiting room to grab their things, but Erin never moved, she continued to stand there, staring down.
"Detective? Do you have a question?"
"Give it to me straight. I want to know the truth, not that doctor BS." Erin told him as she crossed her arms across her chest.
Dr. Rhodes let out a sigh, "Are you sure you really want to know?"
Erin nodded her head and stood up straight, putting up her best front.
"It's not looking good, they got him here quickly but his heart was stressed out and caused him to code on the table. Twice. We got him back as quickly as we could but we won't know more until he wakes up."
Erin felt sick to her stomach, she should have been there she told herself, then this would have never of happened. She turned around, and headed towards the waiting room, she made it a couple of feet, before her feet felt as though they were trudging through wet cement, and she fell against the wall. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the cool wall, as her hands gripped the hand rail in front of her. 'He's going to be ok. He will make it. Everything will be ok.' She repeated this mantra over and over again to herself. She's not sure how long she stood there like that, she knew that she was not alone though. "You know, I don't think I ever thanked you for your help back in Wisconsin."
"It was no problem." Will said as he stayed leaned up against the wall, reading the hospital sign across from him for the thousandth time.
"Will… what if he-" Erin began to let go of what was on her mind.
"Erin, don't. He's going to be ok. You couldn't convince me otherwise, after all the hell that that kid has been through. He's going to be fine." Will said, though it sounded like he said it for his own reassurance.
Erin pushed herself off of the wall, and nodded her head, walking past Will who quickly caught up with her and to the elevators. They got on the elevator and rode up to the Cardiac floor in silence, quickly stepping off as Will led them towards Jay's room.
Will walked in first, never fazed by all the monitors and bags of fluids hanging everywhere. Erin closed her eyes as she stepped further into the room, hoping that she could open them and this all be a dream. She opened them and the nightmare of the day, seemed to hold her in its grasp. She looked to the bed in the middle of the room, expecting to see Jay smiling at her with the boyish grin she loves, plastered on his face, but she expected too much, her heart breaking as the only thing she seen was the pale and unshaven skin of the man she loves, lying motionless in the bed. She turned her head and willed herself to look around, she found Voight, Mouse and Antonio sitting on the small pieces of furniture located throughout the room.
Will walked over to Jay's bedside, checking the thick bandage on his chest and the stats on his monitor, as Erin found herself sliding down into floor in the corner of the room. She pulled herself into the small crevice, hunching up against the wall, drawing her knees to her chest. She couldn't help but stare at the pale skin that she could see, studying it, remembering the last time she touched him, the last time she spoke to him, before today. The wires of the monitors, securing her thoughts that he is alive, that he is breathing, that he is still her Jay.
She found the echoing of the heart monitor lulling her to sleep, and fought the urge to climb into the bed with him, to hold him, to physically touch him, to take this ache that was threatening to surface, away from her heart. She fought the urge to jump up and take his hand into hers, run her fingers through his hair or give him a soft kiss on the forehead. Instead, she sat there, dozing off, startled when she found someone sitting next to her, the rest of the room now empty besides Jay lying in front of her.
"Erin, none of this was your fault, I need you to know that, to understand that. If you'd been there, then it would be you lying here in this bed, or worse, both of you could be lying here in this hospital." Voight told her as he threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a side hug.
Erin nodded her head "I know," she told him as she felt a peace wash over her.
"Why don't we head home for a few, get some food, maybe rest for a few?"
"No. I want to be here when he wakes up."
Voight nodded his head before he stood up, "I'm going to go grab something from the cafeteria, want anything?"
Erin shook her head no, though she knew that Hank would bring her something back. Hank left the room, leaving Erin the only conscious soul in the room. She stood up from her position in the floor, cursing herself to decide in the first place that sitting down there was a good idea. Erin walked over to the side of the bed, having the first chance to observe Jay since the accident, being able to compare him to the last time she had seen him. His hair was longer, the curls of his hair becoming more defined, he looked tired, the bags under his eyes telling her that he hadn't been sleeping good, followed by the unshaven stubble of his facial hair, she loved his unshaven look. Erin slipped off her shoes and jacket, sitting them by a chair, she didn't care who was to walk in and see, she missed him, she wanted to feel him beneath her again. She climbed into his bed, curling into his side, careful of his new injury, she turned and rested her head on his shoulder, throwing an arm across his abdomen.
'Wake up.' She began mentally chanting as the steady rhythm of the heart monitor lulled her to sleep, once again.
