Disclaimer: most unfortunately I do not own harry potter or, pirates of the Carribean wink wink nudge nudge

Chapter 7: Rum

Hermione stood in the common room, " Thank you for joining us in this theater, today, Millicent and I Have created a puppet show, a scene from the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the black pearl"

Millicent stood up and charmed her voice, to sound like Capt'n Jack Sparrow, "and now loves, we give you, Why is the rum gone?"(A/N: this is my favorite scene from the movie)

Hermione got a puppet that looked like Jack, the puppet looked at a black ship, with black sails bewitched to have creepy looking men walking around.

"That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship."

A girl in a white bodice follows, "But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then."

The Jack turns around, "To what point and purpose, young missy? The Black Pearl is gone and unless you have a rudder and a lot of sails hidden in that bodice --unlikely - young Mr. Turner will be dead long before you can reach him."

Elizabeth follows him as he knocks on a tree trunk then takes four very large steps and jumps up and down a few times, "But you're Captain Jack Sparrow . You vanished from under the eyes of seven agents of the East India Company. You sacked Nassau Port without even firing a shot. Are you the pirate I've read about or not? How did you escape last time?"

He takes a few more steps and jumps again, "Last time, I was here a grand total of three days, all right? Last time," he pauses, and opens a secret cellar door "the rumrunners used this island as a cache. Came by, and I was able to barter a passage off. From the looks of things, they've long been out of business. Probably,have your bloody friend Norrington to thank for that." He finishes as he climbs out with two bottles of rum in his hands.

She follows him furiously and stops in front of him, "So that's it then? That's the secret grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow? You spent three days lying on a beach, drinking rum!"

"Welcome to the Caribbean , love." He says as he hands her a bottle.

Suddenly, the background changes and Jack and Elizabeth are dancing around a fire singing

"We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs. Drink up me 'earties yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me."

"I love this song! Really bad eggs! Ooh. When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time!" he says as he falls down.

"And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirate in the Spanish Main." she replies.

"Not just the Spanish Main, love. The entire ocean. The entire world. Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails that's what a ship needs but what a ship is, what the Black Pearl really is, is freedom." He explains.

"Jack, it must be really terrible for you to be trapped on this island." She says in sympathy

"Oh, yes." He says putting his arm around her, "But the company is infinitely better than last time, I think. The scenery has definitely improved."

"Mr. Sparrow I'm not entirely sure that I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk."

"I know exactly what you mean, love." He declares curling his stash.

"To freedom." She announces clinking bottles with him.

"To the Black Pearl ." he falls down unconscious.

All the sudden a narrator speaks ,When he awoke the next morning he smells smoke, sees the island burning and runs to Elizabeth.

"No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade! The rum!"

"Yes, the rum is gone."

"Why is the rum gone?"

"One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me, do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?"

"But why is the rum gone?"

"Just wait, Captain Sparrow. You give it one hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye out and then you will see white sails on that horizon."

Jacks takes out a pistol, thinks better of it and puts it back, stalks off, imitates Elizabeth

"Must've been terrible for you to be trapped here, Jack. Must've been terrible for you. Well it bloody is now," he pauses after seeing a ship on the horizon, "There'll be no living with her after this."

"THE END" Hermione said cheerfully.

The night ended in hysterical laughter and imitations of Captain Jack Sparrow screaming "WHY IS THE RUM GONE?"

A/N: HEHE sorry I know that that had nothing to do with the storyline, but I had to get that out of my system…

Why is the Rum Gone? Okay sorry that was the last time,

Toodles,

Dot Jazzy Fizzle G