"HOLY SHIT! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!" Stan yelled. She had the door opened because I knocked it.
"Some asshole punched her while trying to rob her. She fell in the mud and her shirt got wet. I gave her my shirt." Cartman answered for me.
Stan looked at him suspiciously for a second before he cupped his hands on my face, peering worringly at my bruise. "Are you okay?"
I gave a carefree laugh. "Don't worry, the bastard got what he deserved."
He looked at Cartman confused by my statement. "Oh, I just happened to be at the convinience store. I punched the robber straight in the gut. The guy ran away. I thought I'd bring the dumb bitch to you. Seriouslah? Who the fuck gets robbed in the middle of the day?" He just had to be an ass about it all. Classic Cartman.
"Thanks." He said still rather suspicious to Cartman as he held me close. The warmth of his chest radiated and I inwardly felt grateful towards Cartman. If he didn't come when he did, James would have taken me. I want Stan to take me, and take me with my consent. That will come when I'm an adult and ready, not when some asshole wants to force me into it. I might deserve some of the things he does to me, but I know I don't deserve to be taken like this.
"That asshole kept bragging how strong he was the entire ride here." I rolled by eyes. "'Did you see that punch, hoe?' and 'Aren't I just the strongest guy in the world?'. It was so fucking annoying?"
Stan laughed in a relief fashion and looked at me adoringly. I swear he's too good for me. He really loves me, doesn't he? "That's good. Come on, you can rest here."
"Oh, I can't! I have to go back home. I was hoping you could hang out with me for a while. I'm still a little shaken up." I said. I have to stick with the plan. If my mom hears from anyone that I have been staying at someone else's house, I would get in trouble. At the same time, I need him to come with me so I don't stay alone at Jame's house.
Cartman had to be the one to come with me. If Kyle did then when Stan comes with me, he'll tell James that Kyle saved me. James would then know that Kyle is in the red, and whenever he comes to visit by default, then he wouldn't let him in. Although it makes Stan suspiscious, it works. Stan wouldn't think too much about it, though. Stan's like that. He doesn't pry or ask questions beyond what he needs to know. He accepts what others tell him. He doesn't trust Cartman, but he trusts me.
"Oh, sure. I did my homework anyways. You wanna go to your house for a bit before going out? We need to tell James what happened to you? He should be worried that you're not home by now." Stan asked me?
"S-sure." I had to swallow the gulp in my throat. I know realize, that although it was obvious before it never really hit me, that I had to see that man again today. I had to suffer under his suspiscious and threatening glare.
"Dude, can I come? I'm fucking hungry and this bitch said she'll treat me with fucking food for saving the dumb hoe." Cartman said, haughty and arrogant as ever.
"Yeah. Dude, for once, thanks." Stan smiled awkwardly towards Cartman.
We got in Cartman's ride and went to my house. The house had a heavy atmosphere when the car parked on the driveway. Stan didn't seem to notice it, but Cartman and I knew it well. I rang the doorbell, since my keys were at home, and James immediately opened it. He had his hair disheveled but his expression was calm... too calm.
He glanced at Stan, who seemed to be radiating with relief of my safety. "Afternoon, sir." Stan said.
James immediately caught on what was happening and he looked at me. For a second, I saw his eyes in a dangerous fixation. It was like he had me by the throat with just his glare. That went away as quickly as it came, and he hugged me with a faux worried expression.
I shivered in horror. His smell caught my nose and it made me sick and nauseous. Even now he held me so close that I felt my breasts pressed on his chest. I wanted to scream, scream and run, but I stayed.
"Oh God, what happened to you! You didn't come home or answer your phone. I was so worried!" I saw Cartman flinch and strain to stay still.
"I-I was... well... I was... I mean... I don't... please... I mean..." My tongue couldn't say anything. I couldn't speak. My voice trembled. At this rate, I would start crying. Someone interrupt me. Someone explain it for me. Can't anyone see that I can't fucking talk! Stan! Say something! Explain it to James for me! ERIC!
"She was robbed by some asshole. The guy punched her and she fell into the mud. I gave her my shirt. I brought her to Stan. We are going to stay here for a little while." Cartman said without a hint of anger or any emotion. It was blank and monotonous. I wanted to cry "thank you" to him. Why didn't Stan say anything? Why did he just stand there and watch me stumble? No... no, I shouldn't blame him. He can't read my mind... but... but Cartman knew when to help me. Well, that's because he knows the entirety of the situation.
"Come on in. I need to put ice on the bruise." James said, tugging me in the house. He did it in such a way that it looked like he was taking me to the kitchen calmly, but in reality he was pressing at my wrist, crushing it. Before I had a chance to do anything, Cartman took my hand away from him. "Dude, slow down." He laughed casually towards James. "She's still a bit shaken up." Before he handed me to Stan, I swear he rubbed my wrist softly. It was like he knew that James was crushing it earlier. All this was done so swiftly and casually that it wouldn't have raised any suspiscion against Stan.
"Okay, then. Follow me. I think I have some motrine for the pain. Does it hurt much?" James turned to me with a worried face. I had to answer this time. Cartman can't answer for me. It would look too weird. Come on! Speak woman! "Y-YES! I mean, yeah. I hurts a lot. Motrine would be good."
"You have to eat before you take it though. I'll whip up something for all of you." He smiled at all of us, almost genuinely. If I didn't know what he would be capable of, I would believe him. "Does anyone have any requests?"
"Anything is fine." Stan said cheerfully.
"Y-yeah. Anything..." I said as well.
"I want a well done steak with mash potatoes, corn on a cob, and wild rice." Cartman said, almost challenging James.
"Dude." Stan whacked his on the shoulder. "Be fucking reasonable for once in your life."
"What? I saved her! I deserve to be given whatever the fuck I want!" Cartman complained.
"I'll just whip up everyone a sandwich. Is that fine?" James said. We all agreed (Cartman reluctantly). "I'm just glad Wendy's okay." James said finally.
"You should be." Cartman said without emotion.
Stan glared at Cartman. "You're so fucking rude." He hissed.
Cartman shrugged. "Beats being ignorant."
"What?" Stan asked confused.
"Nothing." Cartman sighed as he sat down on the couch.
I was given Motrine and a sandwich, and the three of us ate. All the while, James stared at me from the background. He had almost a condescending triumphant expression etched in his dark face. His face was dark (in the sense of expression) and almost threatening. It grew more and more oppressing throughout the time. Finally, Stan decided that we both should go somewhere. Cartman announced that he was leaving. This is where the plan takes effect. I had to say where to go quick before Stan picked a place.
"Let's go watch a movie!" I said. There was four movies available at eight. That would be about the time we got there. If we get out about two hours later, it would be ten. Stan would need to go home, but he would insist to take me. Fortunately, that's where Kyle comes up. He will take Bebe to watch a movie, and he would act as if he didn't expect to see Stan and me. When that happens, he would suggest that we all carpool to my house. Stan would go home, and Kyle would pretend to go home. Bebe would sleep over with me, because Kyle would suggest it. While we would be sleeping, Kyle and Cartman would be outside of my house in the night, taking shifts to watch over me. Kyle trusts Cartman with just me, but since Bebe would be there too, he would be viligant. That's the plan for today.
I'm so grateful for those two. I would have never guessed that they would care that much for me... then again, Kyle's there for Bebe, and because I'm Stan's girlfriend. Cartman's there because of his own reasons. There is no way he could be there for anybody for the sake of anybody. He's a sociopath. Even if... even if I were someone to be proud of... he wouldn't be there for me. He's not doing all of this for me. I need to keep reminding myself that. I can't let myself be swayed to thinking that way. I'm just the result to his reasons. That's all. Still... it would be nice to pretend that Cartman actually cares whether I'm fine or not. I know Kyle does, but to a degree. He's there out of responsibility that I'm his best friend's girlfriend, and because he's simply a good person. That's it. Jeez Wendy, don't get your hopes up. I need to see the reality of things. I'm too naive sometimes.
Still, it's a nice thought.
oOo
Dammit, where's that damn Jew? He's taking too long to get here.
I'm outside Wendy's house, behind the fence. I brought some proffessional spy kit shit or something. I got it from some spy two years ago. It was from some crazy adventure like always. I stole it from the guy, who ended up getting excecuted for it. Who the fuck cares anyways. He was not on our side. So I could hear anything going on in that house. No one knows it, not Kyle or Wends, but I put some chip with sound and camera under the table when I ate at her house. I also said I would go to the bathroom, so I put one there, and snuck into her room to put another there. I put them in very hard places to reach, places where it's not obvious to look.
I hear footsteps behind me. I turned to see Kyle sneaking behind me. "About time." I whispered, annoyed.
"Sorry, my mom's a hard person to sneak around." He whispered back. He saw my wireless earphones and my laptop. "What's that?"
"Surveillance." I answered.
"You bugged their house! That's illegal!" He whispered.
"It's illegal to attempt rape towards a minor." I answered. He just stood quiet. "Plus, the mother of your kid is there. I'm sure you want them to be safe."
I saw him fidget reluctantly before nodding. "Where are the bugs?" He asked.
"Under the dining table. So I can see the living room and hear everything in the kitchen, living room, and diner." I showed him camera one and channel one in my comuter. I gave him one side of my earphone. "Camera two can see part of the bathroom; I couldn't put it in a place that was that obvious, so sorry for the bad view. Despite that, Channel two on the earphones can hear everything going on in the bathroom. The last one is in her room. See," I pointed to camera three on my laptop. "you can see her sleeping with Bebe on the bed. You can also see her desk, but I can't see the door or her dresser. Still, I can hear everything going on in that room." I turned to him. "You're bitch's a snorer."
He shoved me in the shoulder. "Shut up!" He whispered. After a long time of us both waiting, he turned to me. "Why are you really doing this?" He asked me.
"To see what goes on? Jeez, I thought you were smart." I said.
"No, not the bugs. I mean protecting Wendy." He turned to me with a serious face.
Shit, I can't tell him the real reason. I only told James to get the upperhand and surprise him. To let him know how far I will go to protect her. If I tell Kyle... it'll reveal me completely. Still, I can't pass this off as nothing. He's too smart for that.
"I have my own reasons that I don't need to mention." Wendy didn't go further when I told her that, it was probably her self-esteem stopping from asking. If she was a confident person, then with her level of intelligence, she would have easily found me out. Kyle is a confident person, but I'm betting on the fact that he won't care about what I do or my reasons in order to ensure me of my escape. I know it's a tight hope, but it's something. I need to think of my response if worse comes to worse.
"Are you in love with her?" He asked bluntly. Of course, I knew he is the type to be direct with people. I knew it from the beginning of his question that he would answer me like this. I was just hoping that he'd be more discreet about it, at most that he wouldn't care to really know.
"Why would you even care?" Shit, I'm trapped. I can't do anything but avoid the question.
"You're avoiding the question." He sees me. Shit. I have to think of something quick.
"When I was little, about twelve or so... my mom was with this guy. He almost tried to kill me once in Stark's Pond. Wendy just happened to be there that night. She distracted the guy long enough for me to push him in the lake. She took my hand and we ran. Later that week, I took care of the bastard myself and let's just say he was lucky to get out within an inch of his life. I'm just repaying the favor. Nothing more, nothing less." Lies. All those where lies. None of that happened. My mom's men never went steady enough to even meet me or know my name. Kyle doesn't know that, though.
"Oh... so that's it. Still... you seem like you're bent to protect her. You're not one to keep promises, and if you are, you still wouldn't be as persistant as this." He observed. Good. He bought my lie, now I have the upper hand again.
"You know whenever I do something, I go all out. Also, I told you before, I give a damn about people, but I'm not about to let a girl be raped. Plus, I figured you have enough experience saving others from being raped." I smirked, remembering how once he saved me from being raped by Snooki.
He chuckled quietly. "Okay, I believe you." Yes. I won. "But I'll be watching you closer." He said rolling his eyes.
A long while passed before I thought it was safe to ask, "What would you have done if I said I was in love with her? Would you have gone all self-righteous on me about loyalty to friends or some shit?"
"No. I would have supported you."
My head snapped back in complete shock. I did not expect that. I would have never suspected that in a million years. Me? What the fuck! Isn't Stan his best friend! I'm his enemy! What... oh God, this is a brain malfunction...
Before I could even say anything, he whispered back, "If you were actually doing this out of love and not any other reason, I would have supported you." He looked at me. "Let's face it, Stan's not the brightest tool in the shed, and he's rather self-centered. He doesn't really think about anyone else that much, and when in a relationship, you need to think about the other person."
"And you would have thought that I would be selfless?" I said in disbelief.
"There's a difference between being selfish and self-centered. You're selfish, but that's fine. There's nothing wrong with being selfish. In fact, I think there's something wrong with being selfless. When you're selfless, you don't think logically. You can be selfish as long as you don't affect the other person or impose your will on them. That's how it works." He said.
"Kahl... I don't know if you haven't noticed, but I'm always imposing on people. I thought you would be more than aware of that, since you're my number one victim." I said.
"No, you do impose, but it's not like you fucking love me. I think that you somewhat respect me." What? Is he fucking stupid? "If not, you wouldn't have thought of me as your equal."
"You're a Jew. Jews are below us Aryans." I answered plain and simple. It was true. No use escaping facts.
"Shut up." He hissed in a whisper. "I meant, mentally. Intelligence wise, you respect me. That's why we challenge each other."
"Hmm... I already knew that." I answered truthfully.
"Oh, so you're aware of your feelings and actions. I thought you would be the type to be in denial of everything." He admits.
"No. I can see things clearly. I know why I do things. That's what human beings are supposed to do, right? They're supposed to know why they do things, right? What's the point even feeling or thinking if you don't know why?" For once, it might have been the first time... but I really didn't fight with him.
"I agree. Humanity needs to know why and how. How the earth moves and why, why the sky is blue, and why we do the things we do. If we don't know, then why are we even here to begin with?" He turned to me. "Do you know what the worst type of people are?" He asked.
"People who have no idea why they do things. People without a purpose." I answered.
"No. I was thinking something else." He turned back to the stars. "People who just don't care."
I nodded. "Ignorance is something that no one can ever escape. In different aspects, we will always be ignorant. We know about gravity, but we don't know why it's there. If we try, but we don't find out why we do things, then at least we tried. Even if you don't try, if you don't know that you can figure something like that out, that's fine. People who know that they could not run from themselves, but still choose to do so or simply don't care enough to find out... those people are the real evil ones."
He smiled. "This might be the first time I ever thought of you as a human being."
"Don't get used to it." I said.
He chuckled softly and whispered back. "If you were to do something out of love, then I know that you would do anything possible and stoop to any level to do it. I can't say the same for Stan. I love the dude like a bro, but even I'm not blind to the fact that he's too dull and normal to even think this way. If you have the capability to love, and I'm saying this because I honestly don't know if you do, then you would do anything in your power to protect whoever or whatever you love. If you loved, then you'd still be an ass, but you would be someone to admire." He turned to me again. "Do you have the capability to love?"
"No. At least, I don't think so. I haven't ever loved anyone in my entire life. If I start one day, I'd call you and tell you. Is that a deal?" Lies.
He smiled, and for a moment he looked like a man beyond his years, beyond his era. "Deal, chubby."
The truth is, I've love quite a lot. I just choose to ingore it. I think it's better to hurt what you love before they ever start loving you. So then if they start loving you, and you hurt them by mistake, then it would hurt them even more. Even worse, if your love for them starts to grow, and they hurt you. I don't ever want to feel that pain again. My mother taught me that lesson very early. She was the first one to hurt me. I used to love her, then she proved to me how much she loved me, and it broke me. She didn't love me at all. She just felt guilty, she was just doing things because that's what "you were supposed to do". That's not how you do anything. You do things because it's your choice, not because it's the norm. You don't take care of a child that way. I learned that whenever she got drunk at an early age. That bitch lets out everything, her true character, when she's drunk. Then it was Mr. Kitty. He hurt me too, and that's when I learned another lesson. Sometimes when others hurt you, they don't mean to, they just do. One way to hurt someone is to just die. That got me thinking, what if I someday fall in love and get married. What if she dies first? I'd rather not know that pain. Then another lesson was school and friends. Already, I was deprived and living by that rule. Truth is, I complain about my friends all the time, but I love them (platonically of course). Kenny, Stan, and even Kyle. I think especially Kyle. That's why I hurt him the most out of the three. It's because I trust him and know him to the point where I can manipulate him with my eyes closed. I know exactly what he will say and do and I act according to that. Kenny comes in second. He is fucking awesome, though I'll never admit it out loud. He lets me be and doesn't ask me questions. He lives and lets live. He doesn't pry like Stan and Kyle, and he doesn't force things out of you like some nosey Jew I know. Still, when you need him, regardless of the reason (whether he knows about the reason or not) he's there. Stan is okay. He's our level head. He's the normal one, the one that reminds us of reality. I like that about him. Still, I hold a grudge against him for having Wendy.
Wendy... she probably was the only one I ever really loved romantically. She did hurt me though, just like my friends have. In the fourth grade... she kissed me, but she immediately let it go and went back to Stan. I liked that Wendy, she was confident (despite being a bitch). Still, the reason why I hurt them all, and keep my distance, is because they all regard me as something that can take punches. They think that I don't care about them, and that they can say or treat me anyway they want to just because they think I won't get hurt. Damn fucking dicks. That's why I don't like my friends, not because of anything else. It's because they didn't fucking bother to waste the time to figure me out. No one did. No one ever tried to figure me out. No ever tried to actually get to know me, they just sat down with the impression they had of me. Fucking dicks. Still, Kyle has tried to a few times before. Even Wendy. I remember middle school, when she really tried to figure me out. Even though I hate how they treat me, I know it's better that they do this. If they were to be nice to me, and me be nice to them, then they would eventually hurt me. I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for me. This is my selfishness. I do impose on people. In order to not have myself be hurt, I hurt others. It's even gone to a point where I get happy when I hurt them. They know I'm here, and they know I exist, but they don't get too close. Get close enough, and I'll bite. But I'll bark loud enough for you to hear me, so that you'll never forget me. I'll also bite deep enough for you to think twice before coming close, but not so deep as so you would leave. I know the limits of others, and I play with it back and forth. That's how I want it always. Me in control of others. When I'm in control, I get to choose where they go. I get to choose what happens and how it happens. If they even have an ounce of control, that's when I get screwed over. It's happened times before.
It was almost sunrise. Kyle snuck back into his house, and I waited a little longer. When morning came, I left, still the earphones in my ear, hearing everything just in case. Kyle should go back in the morning to pick up Bebe. Then they are going to go somewhere with Wendy. That's the plan. For now, I have to trust that Jew. He doesn't even know it, but I suggested Bebe to be there for his bait. He would be even more viligant to do something if Bebe was with her. His success rates would sky-rocket. Especially since he's going to be a dad.
For now, while they're gone, I need to make some phone calls. I need to book a tour for James on the day her mom gets back. I need to do so. I have cameras and sound recorders wired and bugged in her house. If anything ever happens and I need proof, I'll show those. Of course not to the police, but let's say to her mom or another friend if I need to in the future. You need to plan ahead when you do something and think of every possible avenue. Think about what the person would do, and all their choices, and prepare for all of them. Never leave a choice out because it sounds out of character or unreasonable. If you do that, there's a bigger chance of you losing. And with Wendy at stakes, I can't leave any room for losing. None whatsoever.
I will protect her, simply for the fact that I love her.
A/N: So... a little philosophy anyone?
So sorry about not writing for a long while. I write when I feel like writing. That's what writers do. Still, I promise not to be like other writers where you have to wait almost a year to read their next chapter.
Oh, sorry I put a bit too much Kyman. I'm a really big (super big) Kyman fangirl, so it's very hard not to write Kyman. Like incredibly hard, but don't worry! This is a CANDY fan fict.
So... if anyone wants to have a philosophical debate over the interent, just add a review, kay? I agree with everything Kyle and Cartman said, except with Cartman's two long paragraphs rambling about hurting others in order not to be hurt. Besides that, the selfish thing, the why thing, the planning thing, I agree. So if you agree or disagree, you can debate with me. No, seriouslah. I love to debate. :D
So what do you guys think is going to happen? You think Cartman's lie will come to bite him in the ass one of these chapters? Also, is James going to get his fill? And the most important aspect of all of this: WILL CARTMAN EVEN END UP WITH WENDY! To tell you the truth, I haven't even decided that. I love reading and watching happy endings, but I love writing sad endings. Depends which mood I'm at in that day. What? I can't torture my readers?
Read my other shit. :D
