Silent Boom Chapter 7

A/N … Yes Castle is way out of sorts. He trusted all of them and found out that no matter what he would never be inside the blue line. Worse was the friends weren't quite the friends he thought, or so it seems. He has his own issues, and some of them are coming out in an ugly way. He kept pushing things to the back that needed to be dealt with all because he loved her like no other. The problem with that is when they fester, they can come back to bite you.

Don't mess with Alexis … Beckett's not the only one who can kick ass!

Edited 4-15-12 ... still not perfect :)


Previously …

Martha is up and over to Beckett before Kate can even think. Martha just pulls Kate into a deep embrace. She's watched as Kate was taken to task and while it was long overdue, she knows this is a moment that Kate would turn to her mother, so Martha wants to at least offer a motherly hug. Kate would not even think about the irony of it being Martha, who was the first to comfort her. She just needed it. She had a good deal to atone for … and much to say she hasn't had her chance yet.


While still holding Kate, Martha calls out … "Jenny, Lanie, how about you two take Kate up to Alexis. I know it sounds odd, but they need each other right now. I guarantee Alexis is sorry, and she needs to give Kate a hug."

As the three ladies disappear around the corner of the upstairs hall "Vicki, Jordan, Javi and Kevin would you please join me, I think we need to talk."

"I know all of you are stunned by what has transpired. I know it's asking a lot, but please keep an open mind. Richard is dealing with many things that only he and I know about. Add that to the secret he has been forced to keep, to protect Kate and all the things they keep letting build up instead of talking through. Kate needs to have her say, and it needs to be without any of what I am going to share with you. I need you to promise that you will not tell her of any of this until after she gets her feelings said."

All four nodded in agreement then Ryan spoke up, "Should we wait for Lanie and Jenny?"

Jenny walks down the stairs. The look on her face tells everyone it did not go well. Martha speaks … "It was worth a try I don't think I want to know which one said the wrong thing."

After the coffee is made, calls made and Lanie returns, Martha turns on the TV and then enters a code into the remote, the on-screen image changes to a room decorated in soft tans and light browns it's airy and somewhat woodsy. Rick is asleep on a bed. Lanie shakes her head it's, not the master bedroom. "Martha what room is that?"

Almost in perfect harmony they all said "Yes."

"It's Rick's escape room when he needs to really be alone it was the nursery when he was married. That room has a sad history, but it has become Richard's safety net over the years. He's troubled tonight as you can see, nightmares will be coming. Let me share a few things then all of you can get some rest, okay?" she says.

Martha went on to explain that Richard has dealt with nightmares all his life. He tends to hold things in rather than confront those he cares about he tries to protect, that talking through things is the only way for him otherwise it eventually overwhelms. He can deal with death or injuries very well except for when it involves people he loves. He loves deeply and without filter, if he feels that love is taken advantage of he often blames himself. Lying to him is very personal. He feels his father lied to Martha and has always internalized a lie into it being something that he did wrong. It may be a while in coming, but there will be a day that he is very remorseful about lashing out as he did tonight.

"I want to show you a few video clips. I am sharing a secret that I feel all of you need to know, before you judge why this lie by Kate got the response from Richard. Javi, do you remember when Kate was stressing out shortly after she returned to duty, and I believe you talked to her about PTSD did you not?"

"Yes, Mrs. R"

"I think you can probably understand what you are about to see, better than the others. Richard has a form of PTSD, he relives events in his dreams, fortunately through counseling his nightmares, are few and far between. Alexis was right that have been times that Kate Beckett could have comforted Richard in ways she had no way of knowing, but she never offered, and he was not going to push he feared losing her. Richard for all is bravado is rather private about a lot of things. I will answer questions after the videos."

A few clicks of buttons and a video starts playing; the first scene shows Rick standing then he dives to his left, suddenly he rolls over and is gently holding a pillow; his face contorts in agony, and his hands appear to be supporting a head that's not there, his pained voice … "Kate. I love you. I Love You, Kate." Shortly after that he appears to be giving the pillow CPR … all while begging Kate to choose life, to come back. Another picture appears, and Richard appears to be shivering. His left arm is raised out to his side as if he's holding another person, this time he's talking through chattering teeth … "I'm so sorry Kate. I love you." His eyes very slowly close as he finishes.

There's not a dry eye in the group. Lanie looks at Martha "How often does this happen?"

"Those are just two of the recurring nightmares. The ones of Kate dying repeated over and over every night from the time he c home from the hospital until at least two weeks after she returned. After the bank bombing, he had almost another month of them. He and I nearly died, but his dreams were of Kate's shooting. I hope you don't mind, but I didn't play the part where he blames himself for Kate being shot. He is under care for his PTSD, for some reason; his mind holds on and relives the memories. I shared this with you because of how he treated Kate tonight. What he said needed to come out, but it should have only been between them."

Vicki Gates … "How can we help?"

"Never let him know that you have seen the videos. To be honest he doesn't know I have them. Years ago, he had the camera installed in that room when it was a nursery. There were fears for the babies' safety, kidnapping threats that sort of thing. He has held out hope that there would one day be more babies, so he left the camera. He forgot he showed me how to record from the cameras I gave copies to his therapist. The best way to help him is to understand him, be his friend, and forget his fame and fortune. Alexis was right. The only other thing you can do for him is to protect Kate and Alexis. Knowing they are safe allows him to sleep. I will be right back." She turns the TV off and removes the DVD from the player. She slides it into her purse. She pulls several envelopes out of her purse then changes her mind and leaves them for now.

Jenny, "Did I hear you right did you say babies I thought Alexis was an only child?"

"I was hoping none of you caught that. Yes, you did hear right. Please keep that confidence I slipped when I said babies, but yes there were others. It would be inappropriate for me to say more. I have said too much already."

Jordan asks, "Javi, Kevin, do you want to fill us in on what you know about Kate's shooting or should we do it in the morning? My husband knows I will not be home until the late afternoon, so I'm in no hurry. I am a little wired to sleep for now."

Martha … "Jenny let's leave them to talk while I show you to your room, and I can get what I need for the night."

Vicki … "I want everyone to know that while I have to keep an eye on all of this none of this will be on record. Castle and I have already spoken about his PTSD. I met with him before Kate came back he was up-front about it. At his request, I met with him and his therapist several times and there is no indication this will be ever manifest on the job. Apparently, it's only deeply realistic nightmares that he has to deal with. My understanding is that he has a very strong protective drive of those he loves. I heard the verbal description, but to see what happens physically. The torment he relives at the thought of Kate's shooting, well no wonder he is so protective. To see that and know that he is walking away on Monday, he must feel really betrayed. I don't know about the rest of you, but I need to make amends. Let's get some rest and deal with things in the morning."

Everyone agrees without further comment. Lanie leads Javi to the guest room she knows where it is from the time Kate stayed after her apartment had been blown up.

"Javi, are you okay?" Lanie knows that Javi is very upset both at how Kate was treated, and that he had tried to attack Castle. She was pretty sure that the both were feeling the same thing. They all loved Rick in their own ways, but had failed to realize they kept him slightly outside. They had failed to include him if Kate was not involved. The boys' nights almost always fell the same night the girls were getting together. They ended up having a long talk before sleep came.

While downstairs Gates and Shaw were having a bit of shop talk while they waited for Martha to return from showing Jenny and Kevin to her room.

Shaw asks, "The others don't know that you have known all along, do they?"

"No. Castle figured it out shortly after I was given the 12th. He sees so much that most of us never notice. We agreed I would keep him at arm's length to not give anything away. I failed him when I kept him too far on the outside."

"Let me guess he talked you into the crazy scheme to act like you didn't want him there in order to provide cover for what you know."

"Of course and though I will now be told of his "secret" he doesn't want them to know that IAB had been investigating this for years. He is concerned Kate would run straight back into the case. There are just five people at the moment, no six who know that, sorry only five even a year later it's hard to accept. I hate to keep them out of the loop. I'm also angry Castle's kept this from me for so long. He only told me earlier just before he went out that he had new information. I am certain he only told me after he revealed it to Kate. He is fiercely loyal."

Martha is returning and she makes just enough noise, so they know she is approaching. "Ladies, care for a nightcap or ready to sleep? Rick swears that couch is comfortable. She knows that the two hard-driving ladies have slept in far less comfortable places during their careers. They choose a glass of wine and silence. None of them sleep for long periods. All three are mothers, and they take turns watching over the "children" it was an unspoken agreement. Shaw is the one who is up when Richard's nightmare comes raining down. Martha had turned the live feed back on, and they would periodically turn the TV on. They didn't watch him sleep … he deserved privacy, but would turn the TV on for a minute or so to make sure he wasn't too deep in. Martha feared the raw emotions might push him into severe nightmares As Shaw watched she could tell it was the moment that someone pulled Rick away from Kate and the anguish as he stared at his hands told her he was seeing his blood covered hands as if it was happening all over. She turned it off and as it turned out it was just in time … as a noise caused Jordan to turn and run upstairs. She was met by a very angry Kate, who was coming out of a bedroom. "Where is that son of a bitch how dare he, talk to me like that?" It really wasn't a question. She brushed past Jordan and was making a bee line for Castle's office and room. When she found the door locked, she started pounding on it and before anyone could get to her Alexis unlocked the door and pushed it open.

What happened next woke up everyone, but Castle. His private sound proof room allowed him to sleep through it.

"Damn it, Castle, get your ass out here, you son of a bitch!"!" Kate's team had come running when they heard her yell at Jordan, they were all already coming down the stairs when the second outburst occurred. It was followed closely by extremely loud smack as Alexis sent Kate reeling with a right cross. She didn't bother with a slap. Only the fast response of Shaw and Gates prevented it from escalating further. It would be a good half-hour before anyone dared to let the two combatants alone without fear it would start again. So much for a peaceful night, it was 5:15 AM and no one was going back to sleep. No one knew just how tormented Castle was he wasn't resting; that's for sure. He shot out of his office at 5:40 he was soaked. Only Kate failed to understand why. When he saw everyone was up sipping coffee, he quickly grabbed a cup without talking. A fierce glare from Beckett and he turned, headed back into his study.

It took every ounce of strength Esposito and Ryan had to keep Kate from charging after him. Alexis quickly followed her dad locking the office door and hitting the panic button. Quietly, steel rods were pushed into the steel door frame. Beckett could pound on the door all she wanted. The discharge of air went unnoticed by everyone except Martha and Jordan, who were standing on the other side of the office door.

"Jordan, care to help me figure out breakfast. Let's see breakfast on the patio at 7:30 sounds about right." Then she whispers to Jordan, "Were any of your teams joining you for the case? My guess is Kate chooses that over dealing with Richard postponing as they always seem to do." Jordan smiles knowingly and pulls out her phone … "Avery, sorry I know we said noon how soon can you get here? Breakfast is at 7:30 and there's great coffee. … Thanks I owe you again."

There is still rising pressure inside several people, just like a volcano it can only simmer so long. C is brooding; he's flipping through photos and thinking of the lost dream. Alexis is watching him knowing he needs time to deal with so many emotions while Kate is off by herself after being told by Esposito to go chill. The others are taking turns showering, somehow at 7:00 AM there was a knock on the door and when Lanie had gone to answer at Martha's request, there were three people there carrying large shopping bags. One each for Kate, Javi, Kevin, Lanie, Jenny, Jordan and Vicki ... yep clothes in just the right size, casual comfortable and high quality the styles and colors fit the person they were for. All told three outfits each including everything. The ladies didn't want to know how Castle would know sizes and style, especially their intimate stuff. The high end shops tended to have staff that could size someone even from pictures if they had something of scale to reference off of in the picture. Castle of course had pictures of all of them. It was far easier than they would have thought to get the sizing, but the style and color choices were from his observations. Even Kate was begrudgingly grateful for clean and comfortable clothes not that she would admit it. That is until she saw the lingerie box at the bottom of her bag ... the one that was thrown in after the fact...

"Detective,

For the time, you ever find a man who is enough for you."

Kate was furious.