"Everyone is sane! Hooray!" Athena said. "Thanks, Psychoanalystus!"
"We're still pwning you." Psychoanalystus disappeared.
"Damn…" Athena muttered.
"Letters-letters-letters-trolololol-" A robot appeared. "I-am-the-Hades-robot. I-bring-all-the-mail-and TORTURE YOU FOR ETERNITY! MWA-HA! MWA-HA!"
Aphrodite and Apollo screamed and it threw the letters at them. "MWA-HA! MWA-HA!"
"Owwwww, I have a paper cut!" Apollo whined.
"Shut up, prissy!" Artemis snapped, pinging an arrow at him.
"Hey! Y'know, I have Archery Skill-"
"And mine's better!" They started shooting at each other.
"STOP IT!" Zeus shouted.
"Ooooh…CEO's angry…" Apollo and Artemis said simultaneously.
"DID WE JUST AGREE ON SOMETHING?" Artemis screamed.
"YEP!" Apollo responded.
"AAAAAAAAAH!" They both shrieked.
"This-mail-is-very-heavy-" The Hades robot, who everyone had forgotten about for a few lines, said.
"OK! Mail reading! Go!" Zeus said.
"You can't tell us what to do!" put in everyone.
"Yeah, CEO!" Apollo yelled.
"Shut up!"
"Peace, guys!"
"Hestia? Where did you come from?" asked everyone incredulously.
"I have turned. I obey Morpheus and I'm totally helping to pwn you! I'm just here to tell you that! Cheers!"
"Pwn! Again!" Athena muttered angrily.
"OK, after that really long introduction, let's ACTUALLY read the mail!" Hera said.
Dear some of the Gods- not bothered to write anymore,
Hey, I am now called Angel. Anyways, here is my un-asked for advice
Hephaestus, would you dare attack Persephone's favorite kid, who by the way is female, and if you are annoyed by Aphrodite's slutty ways ask Hera for a divorce!
Hera-I so wish I was the goddess of marriage! I could help so many people! Also all the flowers and butterflies at weddings! :)
Aphrodite- don't be a slut! You ruined every relationship I have ever had! So stop being a brat and help people find their perfect matches.
Ares, I thought you were a god of WAR not weaklings! Stand up and end your dating of Aphro-brate I hope you find someone more your style, like Eros goddess of strife!
Artemis, can I make Apollo fade he tried to kill me with poetry! I wish I could join the hunt but I don't think that I've experiencedlove yet...
Zeus DO NOT HURT HERA ANYMORE UNLESS YOU WANT TO FADE...
Dear Artemis and Apollo
Apollo, you suck. Do you know we created an Anti- Fangirls of Apollo group? 20million and counting! Ha! Soon we will beat the Fangirls of Apollo group!
Artemis, I bet you're happy! I have a twin sister called Luna and we would love to be your penpal. The only reason I didn't write last time is that Deedee stole all the paper!
Stella and Luna, co-presidents of the Anti-Fangirls of Apollo.
"This is the best day of my life!" Artemis shrieked.
"And mine! They used beat and not pwn!" Athena shrieked.
"An anti-Apollo group? Noooooooo!" Apollo complained, sinking to his knees in a very dramatic way.
"He-will-fade. I-will-make-him-fade. Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha." said the Hades robot.
"I like this robot!" Artemis said.
"Will-destroy-all-poetry-of-Apollo. Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha."
"Yes!" said everyone.
Dear Apollo
DECENT BEACHES WITH DECENT FUCKING WEATHER!? We can't get decent weather if you don't give us sun! We have LONDON, for Zeus's sake! And tons of ART! In tons of galleries. We have artistic stuff! We are awesome and we need some SUN!
Brits
P.S.- Your poetry sucked so much that we just can't post good reviews, even if it will get us sun.
Dear Apollo
Thanks for the lyre book. I'm progressing fast, on grade 4. But your poetry SUCKED! Sayonara to Olympians, I'll just find an ancient Roman instrument to bother with. I will never annoy you again.
Trudi
Dear Gods
I love your distress. It's very funny. It's so funny that I gave Hades a free holiday to my peaceful, non-letter-bombarded palace! I might give him more credit. And I posted that video of Dionysus to Youtube. 100 million hits, dude!
Poseidon
"Poseidon is a dead one. I will drown him in wine!" Dionysus said
"He's immortal, smartass!" Demeter said. "And I will smother him with cereal to torture him!"
"Are you kidding? Wine is better!" The argument shouted.
"Yo, Morpheus obsessed!" Athena yelled.
"I AM ZEUS!" Zeus shouted in anger, raising the master bolt. "Ow! Electric shock."
"Well, anyway, Morphobsessed, I think I-"
Crackle. Fizzle. BANG!
"NOOOOOOOOO! The solution to the Hades thing has died along with the power!" Athena screamed.
"HEPHAESTUS! FIX THE FUCKING POWER!" Hera yelled.
Dear Gods
I'M BAAACK! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHTROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!
FUNNY CLOWN (Hey wait, it was on Auto Caps-Lock?)
Dear Hephaestus
Hi I'm Manja, the total stereotype of an Indian girl. PLEEEAAASSE help us. My mini replica of the Taj Mahal is wrecked (told you I'm a stereotype). I think Miley payed us a visit! Anyways, help all of my friends!
Manja
P.S.: I still don't get what we're paying for. I thought you were a nice god and would do gratuity service.
P.P.S.: You're the fricking god of repairs! Isn't it easier to just wave your ugly hands and fix our stuff then argue?
P.P.P.S.:We are gonna pwn you no matter what! Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha.
P.P.P.P.S.: The Hades robot has gone viral all over YouTube. YouTubeus is ecstatic. 500 million views, bitches!
P.P.P.P.P.S.: Have I done too many postscripts?
"I-am-here-forever. At-least-until-the-mortals-plague-you-with-more-mail. But-I-will-always-come-back. Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha." The Hades robot started bumping against Zeus's feet, so he kicked it.
"I WILL MASTER BOLT YOU! Wait, what in the name of me? How-HEPHAESTUS! FIX THE POWER OR GET MASTER BOLTED! PLUS 500000000 MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS!" Zeus yelled.
"You-aren't-scary. Your-bolt-sucks. You-cannot-bolt-me. I-have-insulted-king-of-gods. Can-tick-number-7-off-bucket-list. Hoor-ray. Hoor-ray."
"Writing back would be a good idea." Artemis said.
"Yeah…." Apollo murmured.
"DID WE JUST AGREE ON THE SECOND THING IN ONE CHAPTER?" Artemis yelled.
"YEP!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE HADES ROBOT IS HAPPENING TO US?" they screamed simultaneously.
"Wait, isn't it supposed to be 'in the name of Zeus'?" Athena put in.
"Yeah…." Apollo and Artemis said at the same time.
"What?" Artemis asked.
"Third thing." Apollo said, with a terrified look on his face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"After the really long bridge from letter-reading to writing back, let's write back!" Demeter cheered.
Dear Angel
Who in the name of the Hades robot is the daughter of Persephone? Deb, Valerie, Ying or Manja? Hephaestus. P.S.: I DID ASK FOR A DIVORCE YOU KNOW. BUT HERA WON'T LET ME. SHE THINKS THAT THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT FOR NOT LOOKING ON THE INSIDE. Wait, what in the name of the Hades robot? This system is full of glitches. I've got to get a new one? I hate auto Caps-Lock!
Thanks. But I am THE goddess of marriage. But if you are a demigod, you can train with me. But I will still be supreme. Hera.
I'm not a slut. Looked in the mirror recently? (Actually, I don't know what you look like, I just thought that was a good comeback) And I don't ruin relationships. All I do is instruct Cupid to do it. Aphrodite.
Fantastic idea! I'll go on GodlyDating right now! Aphrodite, we are done! Ares
"Um, no way!" Aphrodite said.
"Hey, no dialogue in the middle of letters!" Athena shouted.
"Shut up, The-The!" Ares snapped. "Aphrodite, I'm done!"
"No, we're not!"
"I can fight you!"
"I've got your weapons."
"Dinner tonight at eight?"
"Good."
YES! MAKE APOLLO FADE! No, Hephaestus, it's not on auto Caps-Lock. I just do it that way! AND DESTROY ALL OF THE POETRY! I MEAN, IT GOT 10000000 BAD REVIEWS ON ! Artemis
You can't make me fade, mortal. Zeus.
Dear Stella and Luna
Really? You think I'm not absolutely awesome? There's something wrong with you! And let's see you play a LYRE (not a mini harp, or lyra) and write poetry up to the standard of Apollo the Awesomes! Apollo
"I think she'll do a good job!" Artemis said.
"Sure." Apollo scoffed.
"Seriously guys, no bridges in the middle of letters!" Athena protested.
Hey girls. I hate the fact that I have to share a letter with Apollo, but just saying, I love your idea. And write us some poetry. Please. Our eyes are damaged from the aeons of reading Apollo the Awesomes! Artemis, your new best friend.
Dear Brits
You see, before I existed and the world wasn't so awesome, weather was awful. But because I still don't know where you guys are in the world, I can't help. Later dudes! And, anyways, I definitely won't help you if you diss my poetry so! HURT!
Apollo
Dear Trudi
THANK YOU!
Gods
Dear Poseidon
FUCK YOU!
Everyone.
Dear Funnny Clown
That was your funniest. But only because of the Auto Caps-Lock bit. Go to clown college.
Gods
Dear Manja
You are a stereotype. And you will pay with your happiness. HA! And that was way too many postscripts. And I am not a nice god. That's like saying Apollo is modest! And I had to underline, italic and bold that because it is so untrue! And I am stubborn, and I won't help you.
Hephaestus
"Have you got a solution yet?" Zeus asked.
"Nope. The new system Hephaestus put in is causing the program to be a screw-up."
"Hephaestus, you cause SO MANY of the problems around here! Master bolt ti- CHARGING NEEDED?" Zeus plugged in his bolt.
"Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha." The Hades robot laughed.
"This is all your fault." Athena said menacingly.
"Because of you, my electric spear is not working." Ares said even more menacingly.
"Ha, you copied your daught-aah!" Hephaestus scarpered.
"And this dude is still working?" Hera looked incredulously at the Hades robot.
"Mwa-ha. Mwa-ha."
