Auhtor's Note: Sorry for the delay! In exchange there's a rather long chapter for you. Enjoy!


James was tucked in and Seska had made sure that he was already fast asleep as he sat down on the table in his brother's room, staring out into the great dark world that lay before him.
The window was open a crack and he was sure he hardly even noticed the sounds of the night.

Neither the sounds of an accelerating sports cart called attention to him; nor the sound of the humans living around him in general.

Seska hissed and clutched at his temples as the buzzing noise increased.
Humans... why would he even think like that? Wasn't he human after all?
He drew in a sharp breath and tried to concentrate on the dark shapes on the outside, secretly wishing to drown out the hurting sounds.

By the time Seska stood beside the cot James was gurgling in his sleep.
Seska sighed quietly in order not to wake his brother.

He moved over to the spot where he'd sat down before; it was cold by now.

Time.
He seemed to have lost his sense of time. The universe passed him by without being ever noticed.
Time didn't pass for Seska; he could feel it.
He couldn't hear the quiet hissing of Infinity's sand as it poured down in its hourglass, wresting innumerable seconds from humanity.

And it was driving him insane.
In the blink of an eye an hour could have passed as well as a microsecond.
He didn't feel it.
It...

Seska's fingers drummed quietly on the windowsill.
Most of the time he didn't even know what was happening to him.
But he'd heard at least that was human.

He hissed at the inrushing pain and scolded himself.
Whenever he dared to think those... thoughts, those little flashing sparkles of... ideas... he couldn't even label it, couldn't even call them anything just...
Small lights flashing. And sounds. Noises that haunted him in his nightmares.
And whenever he wasn't paying attention he'd stumble over one of them.
And they put pictures in his head... and made his world an endless sea of fear...
Thinking that he wasn't... just wasn't what he thought to be...

And he'd try to shrug it off, those flashing lightning inside of his head, those barriers that stopped his brain from encountering thoughts that would probably fry it within a minute.
He assumed it to be normal.
And he tried convincing himself into actually believing it.

So, he corrected himself:
Normal. Never knowing what was going on was accepted normal.

At least, he added mentally, it happened to his father all the time.
And after all he was human, wasn't he?
Of course he was. He could only be human.
Any other species would be ashamed of him.

James had turned in his sleep and Seska cursed himself for already standing beside his bed before his brain had even given the command "move".
But nevertheless, at least he was quick...

James had been woken but not as it seemed due to Seska's presence (Seska had the suspicion that James did feel his presence sometimes) but by someone else's.
Something moved among the sheets and as Seska had grabbed the blanket James's hand had already lashed out, proving that his reaction time was probably even better than his brother's.

His small fingers closed around the furry ball in his hand.
It gave a faint squeak.

Seska moved closer, his forehead in wrinkles.

"A rat?"

-ΘΣ-

Jack stared down at the wriggly diagrams and sketches the Doctor had produced.
"So this is some kind of..." Jack drummed his fingers on the desk as he tried to digest what had just been explained to him,
"So... time is in some kind of... relapse?

"It's rewritten" groaned the Doctor, his elbows resting on the table while his hands clutched at his forehead "Really, Jack, I don't know what's making this headache worse: the destruction of the space-time continuum or your stupidity."

The Doctor moaned as he pulled himself upright again only to collapse back into his chair.
"Dear Defective Dalek, why are you stupid apes so thick?"

"Have you listened to yourself recently?" snapped Jack "All you do is complaining and carpeting others, you even deliberately blew a fuses in your husband's head..."

The Doctor growled at the word "husband" but Jack went on unimpressed

"...you're a growling and moaning nightmare, Doctor, you make our lives a living hell and I'm the only one daring to say this because I'm sure you still haven't figured out how to kill me."

The Doctor darted a death-glare at Jack; as a precaution Jack moved back .
"Properly killing, is what I meant to say..."

The Doctor snarled and closed his eyes; Jack hardly even noticed the tremor spreading through the Doctor's body.

"A living hell?" he repeated with a level voice.
Jack hesitated "Well, not technically, just a..."

"Do you want to know about hell?"

Jack looked up into the Doctor's face. Apparently the Doctor had managed to pick him up by his collar and lift him several inches off the ground. He was staring into to gleaming orbs of icy blue fire where his eyes had used to be.

"A living hell, Jack? I can tell you about it... I've been through it time and again and again in my life! You don't even want to know what you're talking about. Do you know what pain is, Jack? Do you really want to know? It's not like dying and taking a breath of fresh air again with your lungs still feeling a bit stiff.
You don't know what pain is, Jack, because you always die before it hasn't even started.

No, hell is knowing that you won't die, that the pain and the endless torture of life never ends, that you're outliving each of them, every single of your beloved ones; hell is knowing that you're doomed to fail, that you're doomed to disappoint others, that you won't ever be able to save them.

I don't even know how many kids I've outlived or even how many of them didn't even make it to their first birthday. I've stopped counting, Jack. Because hell is knowing how many beloved ones you have lost. And a nightmare is trying to forget it all."

There was a hissing noise from the TARDIS and then the opposite of sound; a deafness you could have cut with a knife.
The Doctor lowered Jack down to his seat again and held his breath as the blue shimmer in his eyes disappeared.

"Hell..." he mumbled quietly before shaking his head.

Jack panted, his heart picking up the pace again as the sounds of the world around them seemed to rush in again.
"I'm not even going to ask you what that just was."

"This" said the Doctor quietly "could have been a relapse."

Jack folded his arms, aware that the Doctor was back to normal again.
"But you just said..."

"Time can't have a relapse, Jack" explained the Doctor; he spoke with a heart-warming kindness Jack had started to miss.

"Time can only be rewritten and altered - in both directions. You can't change the past without changing the future. But what most don't know is that you can't even change the future without changing the past. The universe is all a matter of... proper balance."

He smiled mildly at Jack:
"As for the relapse: it was nothing but a microcosmic disturbance augmenting while resonating in the macrocosm and eventually culminating in individual parts of the mesocosm. In other words you've just made the acquaintance of another part of me during its attempted escape."

"Escape?" mouthed Jack disbelievingly before saying "I'm not even going to ask whom or what you're referring to. But whatever it is: Where can it escape to?"

"Oh, it's not even a proper personality, not anymore. You see Jack, as you grow older you encounter so many selfs of yourself, you know, the adorable childhood self, the rebellious teenage self and so on... and each of them is neither forgotten nor lost, it's just stored somewhere safe and sound inside your head. And due to the time collisions the world is currently experiencing some of my former personalities may try to break through..."

"And where can they escape to?" repeated Jack.
"There's no escaping to, there's just escaping from. And you can imagine it as some kind of giant commode with not one drawer that isn't stuck."

Jack looked disbelieving at the Doctor who retorted a weak smile.

"All a matter of balance and counterbalance, Jack. You see, I keep those tiny personalities locked away while my current self is in constant struggle to maintain its position.
And it's the same with the universe."

Jack sighed. He knew that there was some hard-to-believe-but-I'm-a-Time-Lord,-I-know-about-these-kind-of-things explanation ahead.

"So this is one of your former... regenerations?" said Jack.
"Well, kind of... well, not really... well,..."
"It's part of your personality" Jack tried again.
"Exactly" replied the Doctor "and it all belongs to me. In the same way as this reality belongs to the universe. But the point is: it doesn't belong here and now; it shouldn't be there, and we shouldn't be living in it and this conversation shouldn't have happened. Do you get it now, Jack? This reality probably shouldn't even exist..."

"Is it like talking to your former regenerations?" asked Jack, who couldn't get his head around the idea that he was actually dealing with a conglomeration of Time Lords stuffed together in only one body.
"Jack, you've got a one-track mind" hissed the Doctor.
Jack cracked a smile: "Then this reality isn't too different from the one we all know."

The Doctor stared at him for a moment. Jack could have sworn that his eyes were changing colour several times before they went with a deep hazel tone. And eventually the Doctor smiled.

"So, what will you do?"
Jack had followed the Doctor into Torchwood's hub and helped him into his coat.
"Trying to stop him" said the Doctor.
Jack sighed.
"Could you try to be more specific?" he asked pleadingly.
"There's nothing more specific than stopping him" replied the Doctor "That's all I need to do."
"Yeah, but how?" Jack went on.
"First, I need to find out what the Master is planning. There's no sense in trying to mess up plans if your don't know what plan has been planned, right?" explained the Doctor, all of a sudden in a good temper. But that was probably a different personality speaking.
Jack didn't care about it. As long as the Doctor kept a straight face (and hopefully his face) it was fine by him.

"Any instructions?" asked Jack wearily.
"Possibly... as soon as I'm back" said the Doctor as the giant cogwheel-shaped door moved aside and he stepped through it.
Jack hurried after him: "Where are you going?"
"Ash is going to pick me up. Probably dinner and a movie afterwards. Or just dinner." The Doctor wrapped a shawl around his neck.

"Why?" asked Jack.
The Doctor sighed. "It's a routine, Jack. In this universe it's a routine, I can feel those things. We do that every... Tuesday?"
"It's Thursday" said Jack and put his hands akimbo.
"Whatever" replied the Doctor.
"At least you're enjoying your marriage" said Jack, with a smile on his face, though the Doctor didn't fail to notice the hidden accusation.
"Oh, I get it" chuckled the Doctor "Different dimension, alternate reality and you're jealous because I married Ash and not you."
Jack was still smiling and shook his head.

The Doctor had wished him a good night before disappearing; and Jack had kept on smiling.
He was, in fact, still smiling after the hub had fallen silent again.
Aggrieved, he was smiling to himself.
Eventually he found a dubious bottle, labelled in an alien language with a warning that this polish was highly corrosive, and poured it down like water.

And he tried to forget how much the Doctor's words had hurt.

-ΘΣ-

The door to James' room got pushed open noisily as Ash entered.
"I'm going to pick up your father from work..."
"And you're going to treat to him to dinner and you should be glad that James was already awake otherwise you would have senselessly disturbed his sleep" completed Seska coldly, cradling James in his arms.
Ash stared at him for a moment before asking more quietly:
"I'll take James if this is alright with you."
"You don't have to" Seska nearly cut him off; his tone of voice held a sharpness you could have cut ice with "I shall look after him."

Ash sighed.
"Seska, you don't have to look after your brother all the time."
"Father wants me to" retorted Seska in an instant, tilting his head a bit to the side "And you're going to arrive late."

Ash sighed again, this time unable to hide both his concern and his bafflement, and rushed down the stairs.
Seska sighed as James jolted in his arms at the sound of the front door slamming.

"And now..." Seska put James back into his cot "let's take a look at this little intruder, shan't we?"
Seska carefully lifted the oddly shaped blanket inside of James' cot, revealing a furry ball trapped underneath a small laundry basket.

Seska had been carrying it while stashing the laundry; and apparently it had been more than useful to trap the small animal.
Seska had decided that Ash needn't know about this. Or just anything that happened to James.
He felt somewhat responsible for his little brother; in fact, he felt that he was responsible for both of his brothers. With his father being regularly absent-minded and his spouse...

Seska sighed as he tried not to think about Ash. Or his father being with Ash.
Somehow it didn't seem right. Something about the two of them being together seemed fundamentally wrong.
But Seska assumed his feelings for Ash to be completely normal. Step-parents were probably supposed to be treated as doormats.

There was a squeak.
Seska stared at his brother who had lifted the basket with one hand and was pressing down hard on the small furry creature with the other hand.
"Be careful, don't hurt it."

James had grabbed the squirming creature with both hands, twisting and squeezing it this way and that way and keeping it out of Seska's reach with an agility that actually impressed him.
Still, Seska managed to place a hand on his brother's small fingers.
"Let go off it. Don't do that" he said firmly.

There was a cracking sound.
James was strong. Stronger than Seska had given him credit for. He'd managed to twist the furry ball's back so hard its head had snapped off.
Seska carefully removed the pitiful creature from James' hands. He stroked it absent-minded, the conviction that his constant inattention had lead to the rat's death gnawing on his conscience.

Seska patted the small legs, apparently the creature's six small legs and nearly winced as they gave a jerk.
He dropped the small creature, which righted itself, turned its head and let it snap back into its previous position.
James gurgled and reached for the creature again.

Seska watched with fascination as James squeezed and bounced the small rat-shaped animal around; the thing wasn't putting up any resistance and didn't seemed impressed by being held upside down by its tail or even being smashed against a wall.

It didn't seem to harm it at all.

Eventually, the little thing yawned quietly, giving the first sound so far, and curled up into a ball.
Seska carefully picked it up, ignoring his protesting brother.

As he listened closely to its breathing he could have sworn that he heard the sounds of thousands of cogwheels turning.

He swayed it in its hands.
Furry, indulgent and nearly indestructible:
The thing seemed to be the perfect toy. At least for his brother.

James kept whining until Seska returned the small and fluffy creature; he snuggled it and lay down, his big eyes still staring at the amazing animal in fascination.
Seska caressed his little brother until he'd eventually fall asleep, promising as he left the room:

"That's gonna remain our little secret."

-ΘΣ-

An old bell was ringing as Green left the small grocer's shop. Lost in thought, as she always was, she dropped her paper bag, sending the freshly bought red apples rolling across the square.
She sighed and blamed herself for her own clumsiness as she picked up an apple; as she lifted her gaze a young boy was holding them out to her.
She smiled as she met the boy's childish smirk; but her face froze as she realized that he was dressed in a bed sheet.
The boy dropped the apples into her bag before being scolded for dashing away by his mother; who was also dressed in what looked like a sheet.

Green arose slowly, tried not to stare at the two figures that disappeared among the crowd in the same way as both the mother and his son tried not to gape at her.

Green turned on her heel and ran.
Later on, after she had slammed the door shut in her little flat she couldn't recall what had scared her.
Maybe it was because of the others, the other sheet wearers who managed to mingle inconspicuously with the crowd.
Maybe it was because of the strange silence that had fallen upon the streets that seemed to be deafening.

Or, maybe, it was because the little red souvenir phone box that had been standing over her fireplace for more than three years was apparently labelled 'NOVA AUGUSTA TRINOBANTIUM'.
Which was strange.

Because she could have sworn that it had been labelled 'London' until today.

-ΘΣ-

[May father guide you through your dreams

Of golden threads and silver streams

Of times unknown and future's past

And wars that may forever last...]