This is an extra long chapter to make up for sadly short chapter last week.

I own a Naruto game for the Nintendo DS but it doesn't even have Itachi in it so I don't think that counts.

This chapter brought to you by Tropical Storm Fay; it liked me so much that it decided to sit over Melbourne, Florida where I live. It also received the memo that I wasn't in Tampa (Where I go to school) so it avoided going there even though everyone thought it would go there.


The First Exam: Issues With Itachi Chapter 7

Stupid Itachi and Kisame leaving alone once we got to Konoha. Who knows what dastardly deeds they are committing without me. Well they do but that's besides the point. Don't they realize that if I am left alone too long that I will get in trouble? Happens all the time, like clockwork. If I die I blame them.

The fun thing is that I got to see Itachi and Kisame's masks. They are like hunter-nin masks, but the difference is that they aren't. Plus they are black instead of white. Then the two of them are wearing black. Maybe they want to become a shadow. I however get to also wear all black but I do not require a mask, it's kind of hot in the sun though. Maybe I should go stand in the shade?

You know what I am hungry, and I stole Itachi's wallet, so I am going to go eat. The question now is where. Oh look the boy we are supposed to be spying on, Naruto, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone and spy on him while I eat. Then I can call it a mission expense and ask the leader for compensation.

"Hello." I say to the ramen seller dude. "I want some Ramen." capitalized for flavor.

"What type of ramen?"

"There are types?"

"You don't know that there are types of ramen!?" Naruto asks yelling at me while pointing his finger rudely. How rude of him.

"I lived a very sad life I know."

"How do you not know about ramen?"

"I never had ramen from a stand before I always made it myself."

"Well Ichiraku's ramen is the best ramen ever."

"Really well then I will try it," Yeah because that wasn't my plan in the first place. I wasn't here at the ramen stand to eat ramen or anything. Nope not my plan not at all.

"You're going to love it."

"I hope so."


"Wow, that ramen was good." I announce after I finish my Ramen.

"I told you." Naruto said between bites, he is still eating. Poor Itachi's wallet.

"Hey I have an idea let's give each other nicknames."

"Why?"

"Because it's more fun, and it will solidify our friendship."

"Okay."

"I'll call you Kit."

"I'll call you, nice lady."

"At least I am nice and a lady."

"Why do you call me Kit?"

"Someday I'll explain but right now I can't, I'd get in trouble."

"Oh, I wouldn't want you to get in trouble."

"Yeah, man it's kind of late now. I wonder where my teammates are?" I wonder out loud.

"Were they supposed to meet you here?"

"Well not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"I lost them several hours ago, and I think they said something about me staying put, I wasn't listening to them."

"And that is why we couldn't find you." said Itachi's voice from directly behind me. I wonder if he noticed his lack of wallet.

"Are these guys your teammates?"

"Yup."

"Aw man, I was having fun talking to you." More like at me. Hokage this, ramen that, Sasuke is a bastard. The Sasuke part amused me so I listened to it.

"Come Akira." Itachi ordered.

"Fine, fine. Maybe I'll see you around tomorrow."

"That would be great, believe it!"


I really wonder what those S-class criminals keep thinking leaving me alone all the time. I mean I went to sleep last night, same room and bed as Itachi as usual, possessive bastard, and when I woke up they both were gone. What really annoyed me is that the inn place had plenty of rooms but Itachi wanted to share and then he requested that there be only one bed. So to get back at him I used him as a pillow. Take that Itachi.

I guess he was so upset about me sleeping on him that he had to leave. They did leave me a note saying to come to a certain place for dinner and to prepare myself for the exam, just to make sure that I don't do what I did yesterday and not show up until like 11 at night. Plus how can I prepare myself for the exam when I know nothing about it? Oh look Naruto, and a box that's trying to be a rock following him.

"I want a box rock like yours Kit." I comment shouting out at Naruto from across the street. How cool is that a box rock that follows you around, I mean you would always have a convenient footrest.

"Konohamaru." Naruto yelled at the box.

"Who's she, and why does she call you Kit?" the pink haired girl next to him asked.

"Yeah who are these girls boss?" Konohamaru asked. (I shall now call him little kid because his name is too long)

"Why is she wearing a sound forehead protector?" Sakura asked. Why didn't Naruto notice the sound forehead protector? Maybe he did and just didn't care.

"Because I am a sound ninja?" I ask stated, yay return of the paradox intonation.

"You are?" Naruto asked. Apparently he is that oblivious.

"Maybe." I answered trying to sound all cool and mysterious like. "I am Akira."

"I call her nice lady." Naruto offered wanting to show off his close friendship with me. Why? Maybe to make Sakura jealous or to make himself feel better, those are my guesses anyway.

"So boss which one of them is your girlfriend?" the little kid asked.

"What!" Sakura overreacted then they got into an argument that I didn't listen to and they started to run so I followed them. I mean I have nothing better to do. They ran into some and ninja and he grabbed the little kid whose name is too long.

"I hate kids." Kankuro said.

"Really, I thought that you loved them to pieces." I guess being with evil ninja for too long took away my fear and made me bold.

"Who are you?" Kankuro asked seemingly offended by my presence, I wonder why? Maybe the fact that I talked back and mocked him. Nah!

"Kankuro, Gaara will be mad." Temari said randomly.

"This girl here does not even have chakra."

"Picking on me just because I do not have chakra," I started then mumbled sneakily so that they could still understand me, "That you can sense."

"Are you threatening me?"

"What part of that sentence was a threat?" I asked Sakura since she seems smart.

"The mumbled part." Temari answered for Sakura.

"Thanks, next time I'll just think it and not say it out loud." Maybe I am getting to practice for the exams. What not to say.

"You should already know not to say that out loud." Sakura yelled at me. She's a little loud.

"Maybe." I answered honestly, but she doesn't know that I have lived alone in a cabin for most of my life. Having to walk far to get to town, only being visited by bathrobe towel merchants and ninja, or just ninja I still think that he was a ninja.

"Stop ignoring me." Naruto shouted wanting attention. Then he tried to free the little kid but failed. Then Sasuke showed up and threw a rock. Why throw a rock? Oh wait no it was more like a pebble, even worse. I mean isn't that what Kunai's are for? At least the little kid got free.

"He's cool boss."

"He reminds me of someone." I ponder. Staring that the guy in the tree that looked oddly similar to some possessive guy that I know.

Then some red head shows up and calls Kankuro a failure or something I was too distracted staring at him. I want to stand upside down on a tree. That is so cool. Then the red head jumps down and looks at me.

"Who are you?" He asks, why he wants to know is a mystery to us all.

"Akira." I answer staring back. I will not lose a random staring contest.

"Akira who?" Kankuro asks.

"No known family name." I answer looking away suddenly not interested in a staring contest. Then Sasuke jumps down.

"Who are you?" He asks the red head.

"Subaku no Gaara. I am interested in knowing who you are also."

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"That's why you look familiar." I announce stupidly.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asks me.

"Nothing." Itachi's going to have a fit if I tell him I blurted that out to his brother. Now both Gaara and Sasuke were staring at me. "Is there something on my face?" I ask Naruto. I would have asked Sakura but she was glaring at me and it was scary so I decided not to.

"Don't you want to know who I am?" Naruto asked as the sand ninja decided to start walking away. Then some yelling happened and some name exchanges I wasn't paying attention because I felt like I was being watched.

"Why are you sand ninja here?"

"The Chunin exams." Gaara answered.

"Hey that's why I am here." I announce causing the guys to look at me once more. "What is it that shocking?" I asked them and they just ignored me. I guess I look really weak, or do have something on my face. So I decided to look around and I didn't even notice when they all left. I never claimed to be an observant person. Then I noticed the other sound ninja in a tree and I waved to them and walked away. Take that other sound ninja.


"So the Chunin exams are in this building on the third floor or the second?" I ask Itachi noticing that we had gone past a large group of younger people crowding around a mis-marked room.

"Yes. The mis-marked door is a part of the test." Itachi answered.

"I see."

"How did you notice it was false?" Kisame asked me curiously.

"We only went up one flight of stairs, who wouldn't notice that?" I asked both of them wondering what idiot would go up one flight of stairs and think oh I guess I really went up two.

"Some ninja apparently." Kisame said disappointedly.

"Stupid ninja." I said right as we walked into a large room with a bunch of ninja. "Maybe I shouldn't have said that right then." I whispered to Kisame because he was more fun to talk to than Itachi.

"Bad timing." Kisame commented as I scanned the room. I noticed the three sound ninja and waved to them again. I don't know why I keep waving to them. I didn't even like them when I lived at Orochimaru's place. But I guess it's just second nature to wave to people I know. Oh look it's Kabuto.

"You!" I exclaim as I point to Kabuto, shocked that he is there posing as a leaf ninja.

"You!" He said back before he could stop himself. Me doing it is one thing him doing it is silly "Why are you here?"

"One can ask you the same question." I said smartly, take that one Kabuto.

"My sensei will be thrilled to see that you are here, Akira, who are you're companions?" Kabuto said obviously meaning Orochimaru and also hinting that Orochimaru will probably attack me. All for the stupid faintly lemon smelling ring.

"They are my teammates, It and Kiss." I said secretly snickering inside at the code names that the leader chose for them. That is until I remembered why they had to get those names. According to the leader it was so that if I started to say their real name they could stop me and still keep being incognito. Like I would mess up something this important, oh wait I might. Never mind, good job leader.

"It and Kiss, pleasure to meet you." Kabuto said while pushing up his glasses then nodding to them. "I'll be sure to stay out of their way."

"Good." Itachi stated probably looking at Kabuto but with the mask on I don't really know.

"I'm going to go say hi to some people." I announce as I skip over to where the other sound ninja are. It and Kiss follow me and we all ignore the crowd of kids that gather. How did we ignore Naruto shouting stuff, I don't know? I also ignored the staring of the red head, Gaara from before. Well I ignored it but I think Itachi glared back from behind his mask at him.

"Akira." Zaku said as I came near.

"Hi, Dosu, Kin, and Zaku." I said greeting them happily.

"Why are you all dressed as sound ninja?" Dosu asked eying Itachi's mask that has a gray music note on it.

"It's part of a mission." I told them honestly.

"Last I checked you didn't go out on missions, Akira." Kin noticed.

"I heard that you were kidnapped by the Akatsuki." Zaku offered. This entire conversation, by the way, was done in a very low whisper.

"Maybe that was part of my mission." I answered causing It and Kiss to turn towards me in shock because they didn't realize my sneakiness honestly I didn't either. Who knew that I could lie that good. Oh yeah, the whole keeping the book secret thing probably helped me make up lies.

"We have to do part of our mission also." Dosu said right before he fake sound punched Kabuto. Then this dude in a forehead protector hat, I want a forehead protector hat, came and told us he was the proctor and that it was a written exam. I'm saved! Oh wait, I don't know ninja stuff. I'm screwed.


So we got assigned seats guess where luck me ended up, right in front of the staring red head. Well at least it's good for him, easier for him to stare and all. Itachi is in front of me. It makes me want to throw a paper airplane at his head. I won't but I really want to. Kisame is on the other side of the room somewhere near Naruto.

They just told us the rules of the test, but I wasn't listening. I was zoning. Since everyone has turned over their tests I guess that means I should start. Let's begin question one: If a ninja is traveling a speed of 20km/hr across ten acres of land is intercepted by a enemy ninja who is going 30km/hr but is 12 acres away which ninja reaches the point first? OK. The answer to this one is...the one who is alive after they fight.

Question two: there are 12 scrolls located in one room. One scroll is the real one. There are no genjutsu's in place. Which scroll is the real one? Why doesn't the ninja just take all the scrolls? Why are there no guards? The answer I will put down is five, yeah it must be five.

On to question three: the temperature outside is 45 degrees Celsius and there are four ninja fighting. If one ninja is taller than the others, and another ninja has a coat, what ninja will survive? What kind of question is that? The one that wins the fight again. Oh look at all this workspace; I know I will draw a picture. For some reason I drew a picture of a stick figure, in a hat. It's a top hat. Oh he needs a cane. I shall call you Sir Sticky. I know I'll write that above his head with an arrow pointing to him.

Question four: a tree in the forest casts a 12-foot shadow. A kunai with a string attached is thrown from the top of the tree and to the ground. The string is 25 feet long. How tall is the tree? Oh, how nice they even drew the picture for us. The answer is...umm...oh look a bug.

"What are you doing there?" I whisper to the bug on my paper, "You're not supposed to be here." the bug looks at me in response. "I know I shall call you Steve and you shall be my friend. Hey why are you looking at my paper and shaking your head? Oh so you think my answers are wrong?" the bug seemed to nod it's head in an answer. "Fine then what do you think is the answer?" the bug just stared at me and then started to walk away. "No don't leave me Steve, I'll be forced to go back to the test."

So the answer to number four is now 10.9 feet. Oh look the proctor is going to say something now. So there is a tenth question and if you fail you never become a ninja. Well since I am not a ninja nor will I ever be one then I will try the question. But before that I feel like I'm being watched. I look around and I should have known, who else would it be but Gaara, once again staring at me. Well since the test is basically over I suppose that I can turn around. Staring contest time. So I look him directly in the eyes and try not to blink. It's a bit awkward because I have to look up since his table is higher than mine. Stupid high tables.

Oh great now I feel like I am being watched from behind also. So I make the universal symbol for time out, making a "T" shape with both hands, which caused him to blink at me, and I turn around to investigate. Oh yeah, Itachi. He dose not look happy. I'm just going to turn around and pretend I didn't see him. Back to the contest. When I meet Gaara's eyes once more I notice that he is no longer staring at me but smirking at Itachi. I guess they are playing now. I would so have won. Speaking of winning the proctor dude just said that we all passed. Man I really should pay attention more often.


Wow the length of this chapter shocks me. It just went on and on.

When I was re-reading it was like, why did they leave Akira alone so much? Then I was like because you wrote it like that. And then I was like but why? Then I remembered why I did it: it followed the plot in my head so I had to.

Preview from next chapter: Do Snakes like Sammiches?

"Where are you going?" Itachi asked me as I tried to sneak away while I was on the way to the next exam.

"I left my Sammiches in the fridge."

"I'll get them." Kisame offered thinking about eat one on the way since they are that good, I know that's what he's thinking.

"Hurry." Itachi said causing me to be happy because of my Sammiches.

"Yay!" I say then hug Itachi since he allowed me food. "Sammiches!"