Me Fortress 2, Part 7: Listen What I Say, Ohhh...

".....Hello? Heeelllllooooo?!?!...Is this thing on? My word, this is quite the complicated contraption..."

"Yeeeee-ahhhhh...", thought the Scout, "...this guy's definitely the Boss." Judging by the way he spoke, it wasn't too hard to miss. However, his appearance was certainly surprising. On the monitor he had a very grimacing look about him, even while he was speaking, and the total darkness in the screen's background only added to his menacing glare. The only part of the Boss, however, that could actually be seen was the outline of his shoulders, neck, and head...and a strange, bright glow coming from his eyes...likely due to a pair of glasses.

"Yes, sir! We can hear you loud and clear!", replied the Soldier.

"Ah, yes...jolly good then! Men...it is good to see that you are all in one piece," he stated. His voice turned to a more serious tone as he glanced around the table. "...Though in all honestly, I am actually quite surprised to see that some of you are still here..." he admitted as he turned his attention to the Demoman. The Demoman rolled his eye at his boss's "caring" statement.

"...However, I suppose the fact that you are all alive is simply a testament to your survival skills, which proves we have most certainly made the correct decision in placing you men as the protectors of the most vital base we have as of now."

It was then that he finally noticed the Scout and Pyro seated at the table. "Ah! I see that your recent additions to the team have arrived safely."

"Yes, sir! All of our new recruits are present and accounted for!"

...The Boss looked around the room a second time. Obviously, he had noticed that something was amiss.

"Ahem...Soldier?"

"...Yes, sir?"

"...Correct me if I'm wrong...but were you not to recieve three new recruits? For I only see two new individuals sitting at your table...and, if I am not mistaken, you were also to recieve a professional sharpshooter as well..."

"Errr...yes, sir, we were..."

".....Then, may I ask you, Soldier...where he might be located?"

"Umm...you see, sir..."

The Heavy quickly interrupted with a response: "Sniper is in restroom!"

The rest of the team looked at the Heavy, puzzled by his chosen excuse for the missing recruit. The Soldier cupped his hands over his face as he listened to the Heavy develop on his fake reason for the missing team member.

"He has terrible tummy-ache...rations not agree with him. Is horrible sight...he vomits, is constipated heavily, explosive dia-"

"Ick!", the Boss commented back. "Ugh...that is quite enough, Heavy. You did not need to go into such great...*shudder*...detail. I will gladly take your word for it."

The Soldier's mouth was hanging open in disbelief. He couldn't believe how gullible their overheading manager was. Several of the members quietly sighed, also relieved at the Boss's reaction. "Well then, team...I suppose that we must continue on without him...for I am a very busy man, after all, what with paperwork, meetings, and what not..."

The Boss leaned over to the side of the monitor for a few seconds, as the noise of ruffled papers sounded across the monitor. "Hmmm...let us see what is on the agenda for today...ah, yes!" He straightened himself in his chair as he brought a large envelope in front of the monitor. "...It would seem that RED Command has sent us further instructions for your current objective: that being the rocket you are all hopefully assembling as we speak."

"Yes, sir!" responded the Soldier. "Construction on the missile is over 24 hours ahead of schedule."

"Ah, most excellent! You are all stupendous, hard-working employees, I must say." Each member of the team grinned a bit from the compliment, except for the Soldier, who was keeping himself together in front of his men and the Boss (but he was smiling on the inside). "Now, let us see what Command has sent to us...", the Boss continued as he began to open the large envelope. "It must be of great importance, for my assistant told me that it was sent urgently."

The Engineer quickly leaned over to the Scout, tapped his shoulder, and whispered to him, "That was the gal the Soldier was speakin' to: his assistant."

The Scout replied, "Ohhh, I see what's goin' on.....is she hot?"

The Engineer frowned, then settled back into his chair.

"Heh...guess not."

"Hmmm..." said the Boss, as he finally managed to pull the papers from the envelope, "...Now, let's take a look at what Command has to say..."

Each of the men leaned forward in anticipation of the message. The Boss placed the sheet of paper in front of him, it covering the bottom half of the screen as he read its instructions.

"Hmm...to *mumble grumble*.....mmhmm...mhm, mhm...hm?...Oh...hmph...*sigh*..." The Boss set the sheet of paper down, the team becoming more and more eager to hear what the message had said. Finally, after a quiet moment, he spoke the news to the men. "....Soldiers...it would seem that the rocket's launch has been pushed back by another week..."

The Soldier was completely surprised by the recent revelation. "Wwwhaaat?!?", he yelled at the overhead. "But we are ahead of schedule, sir! We can't just sit here and do nothing! The BLUs could attack us at any time! Waiting any longer than we need to would just give the BLUs a greater chance of-"

"Quiet, Soldier!" interrupted the Boss, his tone much more serious than before. "I understand that you wish to make your voice heard, but what you believe is right and what command believes is right are two entirely different things." The Soldier became quiet, knowing he had crossed the line with his tone towards the Boss.

"I am sorry to say, my 'compadres,' but your opinions on this matter is not all that important to our superiors. You can not change Command's opinion of what is best for the army, let alone the war, regardless of why they have made their decision in the first place. Even my thoughts on this matter would be of little importance to them..."

The Boss stopped to shuffle the sheet of paper back into the envelope, then continued on with his speech. "Now, Soldier...unless you are willing to get both you and your entire team court-marshalled, simply because you disagree with Command and its methods of making decisions, you will need to simply follow orders and not ask why you are given them...am I clear, Soldier?"

The Soldier frowned, with an enraged look slowly growing across his face.

".....Yes...sir.....", he stated painfully.

"Hmmm...very good, then. You and your men are dismissed. This meeting is adjourned." The Boss leaned forward, and the monitor suddenly went blank, turning the monitor's screen to a bluish hue.

The Soldier reached for the remote, and turned off the monitor. All eyes were on him as he began growling through his teeth. He set the remote on the floor, took out his entrenchment tool (or shovel, to you non-military types), and began to scream.

"Grrrrr...AAAAAHHH!!!!!!" The Soldier became enraged as he turned to face the wall. He flipped up the spade part of his shovel and began beating his helmet, knocking and spinning it around his head. The Scout became a tad frightened, seeing how insane the Soldier appeared in his crazed madness. What was worse, when the Soldier turned back to the team the Scout could see the Soldier's eyes while he was paddling his helmet. They gave off an evil glare, sending a shiver down the spine of anyone who looked into them. But, after a minute or two, the Soldier finally stopped. He breathed heavily from screaming at the top of his lungs as he dropped his shovel, and began walking towards the table. Strangely, the other members began to push themselves away and moved as far from the table as possible, stepping to the side walls and the doorway.

"Errr...", said the Engineer to the Pyro and Scout, "...You boys might wanna get up..." Right away, the Pyro and Scout jumped from their seats and headed towards the door.

The Soldier bent over, and began to growl once again. He lifted the edge of the table up about a foot, and then..."RRRRRAAAUUUGH!!!!!"

Whoosh! The table flew into the air, and...BAM! The table slammed against the wall, then crashed back down to the floor. Slowly, the men opened their eyes and peeked around the doorway, seeing that the Soldier's tantrum was over. He began to finally calm down, panting as he walked back to his chair. The other men quietly walked over to the table, flipped it right-side up, and placed it back in the middle of the room. Then, they all sat down at he started to catch his breath.

"*Pant*...*pant*...urgh.....alright, men...I'm fine, I'm fine." The Soldier adjusted his helmet, and looked towards the Scout and Pyro, who were both still in shock at his tremendous tantrum. "Urgh...sorry you boys had to see that...but the Boss...he just really knows how to piss me off. Aggravates the hell outta me..."

He sat for a moment, while the rest of the men waited patiently for what he had to say. "...Alright, men. I know a few of us have some news for the rest of us...you said you had something to say, Engy?"

The Engineer stood up from his seat, and grabbed a stack of papers from under his chair. "Yeee-ep. Sure do." As he held the papers in front of him, he took a quick glance at the first page, then instantly turned it, looked for another second at the next one, and repeated. After he finished looking at them all, he tossed the papers behind him. "Ahem...boys, I just went and added an update to my sentry, and y'all are gonna need to know what I did. Now...normally, when my turret sees an object that's in range, it first checks fer its appearance, like its size, shape, things it's holdin'-"

"In other words, anything that a disguise can easily make it misinterpret for a teammate," the Spy rudely interrupted.

"Hmmm...rrriiight...but, as we all know, that's only 'cause my sentry can't magically get a person's god-durn DNA from a distance, and then be able to tell if it's a god-durn spy!", the Engineer sarcastically remarked back to him. The Spy gave a stuck-up laugh as he rotated his chair to another angle. He then averted his attention to his next cigarette as the Engineer continued on.

"Now...as I was sayin'...my sentry normally looks up a person's physical characteristics to see who's a friendly and who's an enemy. But, I just found a much better way to do that, makin' the sentry's reflexes twice as fast as before! What I've done...is gone and made the sentry take its first look at what colors a person is wearin'."

The team seemed interested, not to mention impressed at the idea. "Now, why I'm tellin' y'all this...is 'cause if none of y'all wanna be shot by friendly fire, then yer gonna have to avoid anythin'...and I mean anythin'...with blue in it. The sentry'll start shootin' at the slightest bit a' blue, so from now on y'all better be god-damn sure that yer not wearin' anythin' even close to it. That means no purple, no green...nothin' but good ol' red."

The group gave a small round of applause as the Engineer sat back down. However, soon after he finished, a figure appeared around the doorway, quietly glancing around the corner to the team. The Soldier, having noticed the figure, looked up, the rest of the team doing the same as they saw him turning his attention elsewhere. The man approached, stepping slowly into the room.

He was wearing a large hat, with one of its sides pinned at the top, suggesting he had recently been to the outback (...no, not the restaurant). His clothing was fairly plain, with a small jacket, boots, and a pair of sunglasses. "Errr...", spoke the man, looking at the group, "Well...this is a fine piece a' piss..."

"Grrr...", groaned the Soldier, "where have you been, maggot?!? We turned this place upside-down looking for you!"

"Heh...don't get yer fannies tied up in a knot, boss. I was just fixin' up my rifle. You want me to be able to shoot somethin', don't ya?" The man stepped over to an available seat and made himself comfortable. "Whoo...didn't know I was so bloody late...so, what've you blokes been up to? I've been hearin' some loud noises comin' from up here..."

"We've been workin'," the Engineer said angrily. "How many times did I tell ya 'bout the meetin', partner?"

"*Sigh*...I said that I was sorry about that, mate...must've just slipped my mind." The man, turning out to be the missing Sniper, seemed unmoved by his mistake and forgetfulness.

"Urgh...well, now that we're all here," added the Soldier, "let's get on with it. As all of you know, these three new men here are our new recruits. I assume each of you have met the rest of our team?"

"Yep."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Mm mmm."

"Good. Then we can skip the introductions. Now, unless anyone else around here has something they would like to share..." the Soldier looked around the room, but saw no noticable movement or gestures, "...then we'll be moving on to my news for the group."

"Men...since the launch of our rocket has been pushed back by several days, you can be damn well sure that the BLUs'll find us before we get a chance to launch it. As most of you know, our base is well hidden by the canyon walls, but it's only a matter of time until one of the BLU's scouting parties manages to find the entrance to our base." The Soldier then turned his attention to the Scout, Pyro, and Sniper.

"Of course...they wouldn't dare attack us from the air, seeing as how we still have our anti-aircraft weaponry laying around in here. No vehicles could make their way in here, either, since the only way in is that miniscule mineshaft...but if just a few of their men walk by this canyon, find the entrance, and make it through an opening...then all of our stealthiness is gone. Then...it will be time to quit hiding, and start fighting!"

The Soldier paused for a moment. "...But just because we have more a few extra members in our group, now, does not mean that you can just lean back and slack off! I need all of you to be at your best, giving me everything you got!" Each of the men nodded back to the Soldier. "Make me proud, men!"

The Soldier looked over to the Engineer. "Engy, I want you to show the 'less tardy' of our recruits to the armory. Show them where they can keep their weapons, and give 'em some new ones, while you're at it." The Engineer nodded at the Soldier's every word.

"Take them to the practice range, and be sure to take 'em to the frontlines before the BLUs begin to show their ugly faces. Give 'em all of our basic strategies, and let them know what they should be doing during a battle."

The Heavy rose from his chair. "Ahem...Soldier? I wish to teach men ways to gain victory in battle. I am allowed to assist Engineer?"

The Soldier looked back at the Heavy, pondering. "Hmmm...we are ahead of schedule...and having its deadline pushed back will just give us even more extra time for the rocket's construction...alright, Heavy! You got plenty of experience: you go with 'em."

"Ah...good, good!" He looked at the recruits, and said, "Experience is best thing men can have on battlefield."

The Soldier chuckled, and said, "Alright, men: you heard 'em! Get back to work! Let's get that rocket finished!"

As they were walking out of the room, the Soldier stopped the Heavy. "Hey, Heavy..." The large man turned to his leader.

"...You need to work on your storytelling, son."

The Heavy laughed, knowing what the Soldier was trying to say. "Ha ha...you are most welcome."