Ichigo-baachan (Grandma Strawberry)

Summary: NarutoXHarryPotter crossover. Orochimaru joining forces with Voldemort? Naruto at Hogwarts? Harry Potter-sama? Wtf happened?

Title: Harry Potter-sama! Wtf?

Chapter 7

Ichigo: GAH!! I'm such a terrible person. I keep procrastinating, and I forgot to say happy birthday to two of my friends on their birthdays!! Sorry for making some of you readers think that I abandoned this story...guess it's because I haven't updated for a long time, huh? I have no excuse. Sorry everybody. I'll try my best to NOT procrastinate. And look at me procrastinate. I am such a liar. Please enjoy reading this chapter though!! I shall try to fight against the procrastination...fight-o...OH!!!

Harry Potter-sama! Wtf?

By: Ichigo-baachan

Chapter 7

"Blah", -Talking

'Blah', -Thinking

"Blah", -Inner Sakura

"Blah",- Scroll Talk

A.N.-It's a good thing I do not own Naruto, for I procrastinate a lot, and all the Naruto fans out there (which is quite a lot, as people should know) would all wither up at the end of their lives and I would have not gone past episode 2.

...?(Chapter 7 START!!!)...?

"Good evening," the chilling voice repeated, their hand gripping onto Sakura's shoulder even harder.

Sakura turned around to face the voice's owner, and almost automatically, cried out,"Oh dear god! Mother--"

Hearing all the commotion, Naruto turned, and his eyes widened, and cried,"S-Sakura-chan!! This person cannot be your mother!"

Silence overtook the room. "Naruto...How stupid can you get?" Ino questioned the Kyuubi-holder.

"B-But...Sakura-chan just said 'mother'...", Naruto mumbled, offended on being called an idiot.

"Are you serious, baka? She obviously didn't finish what she was going to say," she replied.

Kiba snorted, and said, "I mean come on, I'm so sure that Jiraiya-san would be Sakura's mom. I'm not even that--". Kiba abruptly stopped talking.

Naruto smirked. "Come on, why did you suddenly stop talking? Did you suddenly become so dumb that you forgot how to talk?"

Ino sweatdropped.

Rock Lee stared at the fighting that was going on between Naruto and Kiba, then sighed sadly. "Naruto-kun, Kiba-kun...it is so un-youthful to fight!!!"

"Rock Lee...isn't that saying something? Because we are...you know...'Japanese wizards", Ino whispered to Rock Lee.

"Wait...ERO-SENIN?!?!" Naruto shouted, ending the fight between himself and Kiba. "What are you doing here? And get your hand off Sakura-chan!!"

Sakura sweatdropped. "Naruto...you're too loud..."

Jiraiya grumbled, and put his hand off of Sakura's shoulder. "It's not like I did anything.", he muttered to Naruto.

Sakura twitched at this. "Ano...Jiraiya-san...what are you doing here, may I ask?"

Jiraiya winked at her, and simply replied with,"Research."

Naruto glared at him. "So staying at Konoha and researching there, isn't enough, huh? Or should I say, the hot springs?"

Jiraiya was clearly flustered at this point.

"And staying back home in Konoha which has Tsunade-baachan's knockers isn't enough?"

Sakura's anger level was growing rapidly.

'No one ever gets away with talking about Tsunade-shishou like that!'

"Well, Sakura...you have to admit. Tsunade-shishou has some big knockers."

'Still! It came from-"

"Naruto? Well...not that unexpected."

'STILL.'

Sakura stormed over to Naruto. "NARUTO NO BAKA! DON'T TALK ABOUT TSUNADE-SHISHOU LIKE THAT!" she yelled, repeatedly punching Naruto on the head.

Jiraiya backed away slowly. 'Can tell where she got that strength and temper from...', he thought.

After beating Naruto up, Sakura sighed, and cracked her knuckles, now calmed down from the beating she gave.

"Jeez...imagine being the victim of those punches. I pity Naruto.", Ron muttered to Harry, who nodded, awed by the pink hair kunoichi.

Sakura turned to face Jiraiya again. "So...Jiraiya-san. What brings you here?"

"Here. Take these.", Jiraiya replied, handing her and the others a scroll each.

With a questioning glance at Jiraiya, Sakura stared at the empty parchment on her hand.

"Ne ne, ero-senin...nothing is written on it," Naruto said, scratching his head in confusion.

"Communication scrolls. For the mission, everybody including your senseis were handed these scrolls. Write on them, and everybody else receives it.", Jiraiya stated.

Seeing the look of confusion on Naruto's face, he sighed and took back Naruto's scroll.

"Hey! Give it-"

Sakura shushed him.

"Look." Jiraiya said. With a quill pen, he wrote on Naruto's scroll, "Jiraiya-sama is the best."

"That is so not true.", Naruto whispered to Sakura, who replied by nodding.

Ignoring Naruto's comment, Jiraiya said,"Now look at your scrolls."

On each of their scrolls, it said, "Naruto: Jiraiya-sama is the best."

Jiraiya grinned at his work, and said,"See? It shows who's scroll was written on, which was clearly Naruto's, so it shows who wrote the message, so the sending of the message is easier, and won't become all messed up. The person the scroll is on will receive a tingle from the scroll whenever there is a new message that has been written."

"But what happens when the parchment is filled up?" Sakura asked.

"Ah. This is why it's important that this does not get lost. The messages on the scroll can only be erased by sending your chakra into the scroll.", Jiraiya replied, and with that, he send in a trickle of his chakra, and the message on Naruto's scroll disappeared.

"Although I made the message disappeared on the main source of the message, the message will not disappear on the other scrolls, until the person it's on inserts their own chakra into their own scroll.", Jiraiya explained to the shinobi.

The toad hermit then added, "Naruto might have some trouble with this easy communication system-"

Naruto glared at Jiraiya. "Are you done, ero-senin?"

With a cheeky grin, Jiraiya bounded out of the room, after saying,"Good luck on the mission, and stay out of trouble!"

Naruto let out a sigh, and dropped back down into his seat. "Damn that ero-senin."

Sakura giggled and stared at the parchment.

'I have to be careful not to lose this.'

A tingle raced through Sakura's body, and with a questioning glance, she looked at the communication scroll she had just received moments before.

Sasuke: What the hell? Why'd you just write that the toad hermit sensei of yours is the best, dobe?

Sakura: Ah, so you received the scrolls too?

Kankurou: Yeah, Jiraiya-san just bounded in and threw the scrolls at us after yelling the directions at us.

Sakura: Did anybody else hear him?

Gaara: No.

Naruto: Ero-senin was the one who wrote it, not me!! Like I would write something like that...seriously. Why write 'Jiraiya-sama is the best', when I could write the truth?

"Good day."

'Kami, another chilling voice?'

"But now it's the sensei of this class."

Sakura looked up, and had to bite her lips to prevent herself from giggling at the wondrous sight in front of her.

In front of the room, where the misty voice came from, stood Professor Trelawney.

"She looks the same as always, huh Harry," Ron muttered to his companion, who sighed and drooped down more into his seat.

Professor Trelawney was a very thin woman with huge glasses that made her eyes appear enormous, too large for her face, in fact. She was also wearing a large amount of beads, chains, and bangles, which glittered painfully in the firelight.

The strange professor then spotted Naruto and Harry, and almost immediately, a tragic expression replaced the misty look.

"You are preoccupied, my dears. My inner eye sees past your youthful and brave faces to the troubled and mournful souls within. And, although I regret to say, both your worries are not over. I see extremely difficult times ahead of you both...alas..incredibly difficult. I fear that the thing you both dread will indeed come pass...and perhaps sooner than you think..."

Naruto stared at the professor, and said,"So I'm going to die of boredom from this class, professor?"

Professor Trelawney stared at Naruto. She let out a chuckle, and said,"You obviously have some twisted sense of humor, boy."

"No, I don't think so."

Professor Trelawney stared at the blond boy seated in front of her. With a sweep of her cloaks, she swept pass him and seated herself in a large winged armchair before the fire, and faced the class.

"Naruto, that was very rude of you, to say that to a sensei," Sakura hissed.

"Well it was pretty rude of her to say that to me. It's like she doesn't know about first impressions."

Rock Lee cried,"Gai-sensei would not be proud of her at all!"

Harry whispered,"You'll get used to it, sooner or later. She does it to be all the time."

Sakura elbowed him as Professor Trelawney started to talk.

"My dears, it is time for cus to consider the stars," she began. "The movements of the planets and the mysterious portents they reveal only to those who understand the steps of the celestial dance. Human destiny may be deciphered by the planetary rays, which intermingle..."

'Jeez what a load of crap,' Sakura thought. Even she could tell that this woman was a fraud.

She turned around and saw Harry dozing off, with a troubled expression on his face.

Sakura leant over and nudged him awake.

"Harry!" she muttered.

With a bolt, the boy awoke, the whole class now staring at him.

"You were, yes?" Professor Trelawney asked Harry.

"Huh?"

With a sigh, Professor Trelawney said,"I was saying, my dear, that you were clearly born under the baleful influence of Saturn."

"Wait..born under-what?" Harry questioned.

A look of irritation crossed the face of the professor.

"Born under Saturn, the planet Saturn! I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth..your dark hair...your mean stature...tragic losses so young in life..I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?"

"Uh...no. I was born in July," was Harry's response.

Kiba snorted, and quickly managed to turn his laugh into a cough.

"Bullshit," Naruto 'sneezed' out.

Professor Trelawney most likely heard this, which most likely made her give them so much homwork at the end of class.

"A detailed analysis of the way the planetary movements in the coming month will affect you, with reference to your personal chart. I want it ready to hand in next Monday, and no excuses!"

As they left the Divination classroom, Ino punched Naruto.

"Baka! Now look at what you did! Now we have a crap-load of homework to do for the stupid class!" Ino said.

"What a miserable old bat she is...That'll take all weekend, that will...", Ron muttered darkly under his breath.

"All you have to do is feed her some bull-shit story though. Not that hard, if you think about it," Sakura said.

As they went to the Great Hall for dinner, they met up with Hermione, who noticed how miserable the group was.

"Lots of homework? Professor Vector didn't give us any at all!"

Just as Sakura was about to reply, an extremely familiar voice rang out.

"Weasley, hey Weasley!"

The group turned, and immediately came face to face with Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, who had a pleased look upon their faces.

Malfoy laughed rudely, and thrust a copy of the Daily Prophet into Ron's face, saying,"Your father's in the paper, Weasley, aren't you proud?"

As Malfoy read the paper quite loudly, and they noticed that instead of saying Arthur Weasley, he was saying Arnold.

Ron grabbed the paper out of Malfoy's hands, and scanned the paper, his face reddening to the color of his hair.

Malfoy sneered at him, and crowed,"Imagine them not even getting his name right. It's as if he's a complete nobody, isn't it?"

"And look! There's a picture of your parents outside a dump! Or is that your house? Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she? Being overweight like that isn't that good for your health, you know," he continued.

Sakura grabbed the back of Ron's robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy, as Harry said,"You know your mother, Malfoy? That expression she's got always, you know how she looks like she has dung under her nose? Is it because that's her natural look or is it because you're her son?"

As Harry turned away, Malfoy's face turned a slight shade of pink.

"Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter."

"Then keep your crap-spewing mouth shut then", Kiba said, sending the boy a glare, Akamaru growling in agreement.

BANG!

Something white-hot grazed the side of Harry's face, and just as he was about to grasp his wand from his robes, he heard a second explosion, and the ground beneath him trembled.

"What's all this commotion?"

Professor Moody limped down from a staircase, staring at the students in the hall.

As the dust cleared away, the hall was engulfed in silence.

On the floor, an unconscious Malfoy lay on the floor, more like the remains of the floor.

Professor Moody's eyes hardened. "What happened here?", he asked, his electric blue eye swiveling, stopping on Harry's face.

Sakura, thinking that Harry was about to be accused quickly replied.

"That boy was insulting Weasley here-", at this, she nodded to Ron.

"So you decided to get back at him?" Professor Moody cut in.

"Er yes-"

"What kind of spell did you use? To cause this kind of destruction...", asked Professor Moody, looking around at the enormous crater in the floor.

Confused, Sakura said,"I didn't use a spell, Professor."

Moody turned to look at her and said with sarcasm dripping from his voice,"So now you're going to tell me that you caused this mess without the use of your wand? So you perhaps caused this crater with your fists?"

"Yes", was Sakura's answer.

Just as Moody was about to reply, Rock Lee cut in.

"You, my dear professor, do not know the inhuman strength of Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan is so full of youth and power!"

A shriek was heard, and Sakura turned to face where it had come from.

Descending from the marble staircase was Professor McGonagall.

"Professor Moody! What has happened here?"

"Ah. Hello, Professor McGonagall."

"What-what happened here?"

"Nothing, Professor. Peeves just passed by," Professor Moody lied.

Professor McGonagall let out a tiresome sigh, and said,"I'll be sure to punish Peeves and make sure that the hall is repaired."

The students started drifting away towards the Great Hall, and Professor McGonagall walked away to inform Dumbledore, and Professor Moody seemed to vanish out of thin air.

Hinata: D-did something happen? I just heard a big commotion...

Sakura: Nothing just-

Naruto: Just Sakura-chan destroying a hall, as per usual, Hinata-chan. Nothing to worry about!

Neji: Destroying a hall? What's this about?

Sakura: Nothing of importance, Neji.

Shikamaru: It'll become troublesome if you brought some unwanted attention to us, Sakura.

Ino: As if forehead-girl's overly large forehead didn't bring attention?

Sakura: It's a wonder that people aren't talking about a certain pig named Ino roaming around in the corriders.

Ino: Well at least my forehead doesn't take up room.

Kiba: Well you just give it a rest?

Ino: Stay out of this, dog-boy!

Kiba:...be quiet pig-girl.

Ino: YOU-!

Sakura: Let's not bring unwanted attention to ourselves, shall we?

Rock Lee: Yes! It is quite un-youthful to fight!

Gai: Your flame of youth will burn out!

Rock Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: Rock Lee!

Rock Lee: Gai-sensei!

Tenten: Oh Kami...and I thought we could at least escape them in the scrolls...

A hand tapped Sakura's shoulder, and she looked up from the scroll, and saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione peering curiously at her.

"Yes?"

"Eh...onwards to the Great Hall then?" Harry said.

As Hermione was piling beef casserole onto her plate, Ron looked at Sakura with an un-blinking stare.

Sakura paused from eating her casserole, and gave Ron a questioning look. "Do I have something on my face?"

"It's because of your overly large forehead, Sakura," Ino said, plopping down into the seat next to her rival.

Ron's eyes widened. "O-of course not! I was just wondering.."

"Wondering about how her forehead became so large?" Ino interrupted, earning a push from Sakura.

"N-no..I was just wondering...was that really you, who caused all that destruction back in the hall?"

Sakura nodded, and Ron's eyes widened even more.

"Trust me...that wasn't even half or her strength," Naruto muttered, pausing from gulping down his lunch.

Harry looked up at this, and asked Sakura,"Why'd you hold yourself back from beating Malfoy into pulp?"

Naruto sighed, and shook his head.

"Because," he started. "Then nothing would be left of this place."

Sakura glared at him, and Hermione stood up, knocking Naruto into the floor.

"Thank you," Sakura said.

Hermione gave the kunoichi a confused look.

"You knocked Naruto to the floor, doing my job for me," she explained.

"So Hermione, off to the library this evening again?" Harry said, watching his friend pull the blond, Japanese-wizard off the floor.

Hermione nodded. "Go to. I have loads to do."

"But didn't you just say that Professor Vector-"

Hermione shook her head. "It's not schoolwork.", and with that, the girl was gone.

Fred Weasley took her place, and shook his head to his twin, who seated himself besides Harry.

"How cool is he?" Fred said.

Lee Jordan, who slid into the seat besides George, answered. "Beyond cool."

"Who's cool?" Sakura asked.

"Obviously, Gai-sensei-", Rock Lee started.

The twins and Lee Jordan shook their heads in what appeared to be pure amazement.

"Professor Moody and Professor Ibiki," Fred answered.

"They know, man," George said, Lee Jordan nodding.

A look of excitement crossed Ron's face as he leaned forward. "Knows what?"

"Knows what it's like to be out there doing it," Lee Jordan said, his head bobbing up and down.

With a bit of irritation in her voice, Sakura asked,"Doing what?"

Fred turned to her and replied. "Fighting the Dark Arts."

"It was amazing," George said.

Ron dived into his bag, and pulled out his schedule. With a moan, he said,"We haven't got them until Thursday!"

With a look of sympathy, George Weasley patted his younger brother's shoulder.

...?(Chapter 7...end!)..?

Ichigo: Alas! Chapter 7 is done! I'm not very proud of it though...I look forward to writing the next chapter though! I mean it has Morino Ibiki in it! He could scare all the Hogwarts students!

Sakura: And Professor Moody..?

Ichigo: Him too.

Naruto: -to Sasuke- Hah! Sasuke-teme wasn't in this chapter at all!

Sasuke: Yes I was.

Naruto: Psh. Yeah right! When, then?

Sasuke: -recalls- "Sasuke: What the hell? Why'd you just write that the toad hermit sensei of yours is the best, dobe?"

Naruto: That was only one line!

Sasuke: So what? I was still included in this chapter.

Naruto: But I appeared more than you! Take that, teme!

Ichigo: It's not his fault. It's not like he's in Gryffindor.

Naruto: So?

Ichigo: Sakura's the main character, and she's in Gryffindor, Naruto. Common sense? The story revolves around Sakura-chan.

Naruto: Yeah! Sakura-chan is special!

Ichigo: Yes, she is.

Ino: Yes, with her overly large forehead.

Sakura: Must you rant on about that, Ino-pig? I know that you sent a picture of yourself for the 'Best-looking Pig' contest last year.

Ichigo: Oh...this is going to be a big fight, eh? Review, my dear readers, review!!!