In Case of Emergency
Disclaimer: When being chased by a pack of wild animals, a strategically thrown
yugioh will often distract them.

A/N: If you're looking for something great, well-written and fulfilling, you've come to the wrong chapter. This is stupid. It was just a break from the rest of the story for a little bit. I'm near ashamed of it. Thank you (a HUGE thank you) to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters. Seeing a review in my in-box really makes my day! Hee. This sets up some stuff, and it was supposed to be funny. The humor sort of falls flat. I think I was tired when I wrote most of this. Hopefully, my loyal readers shall forgive me and I'll make it up to all of you with chapter eight. Enjoy if you can, but prepare to be disappointed.


Yugi's Machine:

Hi, this is Yugi's answering machine! He's not in right now, so if you'd please leave your name and number he'll get back to you as soon as he can!

(from Honda) Hey Yugi, it's Honda. You remember that bitching ceramic monkey I bought? Well I can't find it! Man... I bet Jounouchi took it, y'know? If you talk to him, ask him if he's got it. It's either him, or else Arisa threw it out. And I swear I begged her not to! Anyway, talk to you later kid.

(from Mokuba) Yugi-boy! It's Kaiba the younger calling. Look, I wanted to talk to you about Rebecca. I... Well hot damn I think the girl is some kind of fine. Seriously, have you ever seen a hotter piece of ass? She's blown me off, but I'd really like to get to know her. Maybe you could help me out? I know she's a genius and all, but I'm the brother of a genius and not too shabby myself. I'd really appreciate it man. Tell her again what a great guy I am! Alright, thanks. Mokuba out.

(from Anzu) Hey Yugi, it's Anzu. We haven't talked in a while. Let's do something soon to catch up, okay? Call me when you have a minute. I just need an objective ear. Thanks, Yugi. Bye!


Mokuba's Machine:

Hey there– Mokuba here. Sorry I couldn't take your call; I'm probably busy or just screwing around the house. So... leave a message. I'll return your call as soon as I can. Probably. Whatever– good bye.

(from Seto) Mokuba... This is your brother. (silence) We haven't had a chance to talk much the past two days, so I... I just... I need you to contact Anzu and give her the details concerning your class's trip to the museum. Goodbye.

(from Riku) Hey Mokuba! You know, we never got to make up the date that silly girl ruined when she spilled her drink on my new dress. I'd really like to do something with you soon. Wouldn't that be fun? Oh, I know you must be looking forward to it as much as I am. But anyway, if you'll just call me as soon as you get this message, we can fix an afternoon for a nice trip out. Maybe dinner or a movie later, too. Thanks, cutie! Bye bye now.

(from school) Mr. Kaiba, this is your counselor from school. You've missed more days. Now unless you have some rare disease that makes you look absolutely healthy even when you're deathly ill, I think you've been skipping again. Your education is important young man, and I don't think you should throw the opportunity away. I'm also fairly certain that your brother wouldn't be happy to learn of your truancy. Please don't make me get him involved. Come to school, Mokuba; I mean it.


Jounouchi's Machine:

Uh... This is Jounouchi. I'm not here right now, or maybe I just don't want to talk to you. Leave a, um... message. Yeah. I'll get back to you later.

(from Mai) Hey baby. Keep the bed warm for me; I'm back in Domino in a week. See you then, big boy.

(from Honda) Give me back my damn monkey. And isn't your birthday coming up? Or is it Anzu's? I don't remember. Call me back– and I mean it!


Anzu's Machine:

Hi, Anzu's not here right now! Leave a message, please, and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Bye!

(from Shizuka) Hello, Anzu. I'm going to be out of town soon, so I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Have a good special day, and hopefully I'll see you soon. Love you, girl! Goodbye.

(from Mokuba) Hey, Anzu baby. I know you're glad to hear from me! Well, big brother kindly informed me that you'll be my lovely chaperone for the class's upcoming field trip. Won't that just be the best? It's in a week, so don't forget. Meet the class at the Domino museum at eight. Early in the morning– I know how much you love that! Oh, and while you're at it, please pull that stick out of Seto's ass. I don't know what the hell his problem is, but I know you can fix it. He needs to get laid! Anyway, talk to you la– BEEP!


Seto's Machine:

Hello. This is the hotline for Seto's house of sensual massage. We're very sorry that someone couldn't take your call, but if you'll leave a message we'll schedule an appointment for you right away. The rates are reasonable and for a limited time Seto himself will be more than happy to service you– especially if you're a strong, virile young man. Select a short session or the full body package. And for very little extra, he'll even be your bi– (in background) Mokuba, I... Mokuba! What the hell do you think you're doing! Come back here! Get your sorry ass back here right now! I– BEEP!

(from Yugi) Um... H-hello Kaiba. (Laughter) I just wanted to make sure that you'll help us with Anzu's party for her birthday. It's coming up really soon, you know. I... (Laughter) You did agree to let us host it in your mansion, remember, and I promise everyone will be behave. Thanks again! Goodbye. Oh, from Yugi.

(from Jounouchi) Dude! (Laughter) Yugi told me about your message, but I didn't believe him. I can't believe it's true! (More laughter) Just don't let Anzu find out about this little side job, alright? After all, you're her bitch first. See you later, assface!


End A/N: I'M SORRY! This was short, stupid, and too long in coming. (sigh) I'm just as disappointed as you are, trust me. Oh well; life happens. I'm working on chapter eight, so HOPEFULLY it'll be up soon. Hopefully. Actually, if I can get it done tonight I will. I haven't been home a lot the past few days, so I haven't had many opportunities to sit down and write. Thanks for reading everyone, and I'd appreciate reviews. I'm not expecting a lot for this chapter, but if you're confused or have any questions drop me a line and I'd be glad to help you out. I LOVE talking about my stories, so if you ever wanna have a discussion I'm totally game. Thanks again! (sigh) I know this sucked. And, as I said, I'm sorry.

ILB