"Some nights are brighter than some days, let's go out and walk around."
1937
Someone was cooing into his ear. He jolted from his place. He was gasping for air and his forehead was shining from sweating. It was middle of the night. His head ached. He touched his head and felt a fabric against his skin. Ludwig was safely asleep beside him. He ran his hand over his pale hair.
It was dark outside. The lights were off and the silence was not pleasant. Gilbert slowly put steps over the ground. His head hurt a lot. He went to the kitchen and drank water. There was a half cooked food on the table; he knew that it was Francis'.
He was drinking water, when Ludwig came inside the kitchen and yawned. "You are awake," Ludwig rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, my head hurts," Gilbert answered. Ludwig sat at the table and locked his gaze with him. This gesture of Ludwig made him nervous.
"So, what happened?" Both of them asked together. Gilbert thought Ludwig would smile or even laugh, because they used to laugh...
But now, Ludwig faced him with a serious gaze and it made him feel small.
"You were hit on your head." Ludwig pointed at his head. "Who did that?" He continued. "I don't know." Gilbert said with a sigh. In all honesty, Gilbert knew who had done that, but it was out of his power to take revenge or arrest them. If he wanted, he couldn't. "Gilbert, please don't think of me as a fool. I want to know." Ludwig pleaded. Gilbert didn't say a word about the man. He didn't mention about his fight with a group of drunken, Russian men. He knew it was his fault on the first hand for bothering them. He shouldn't have stepped out of his line of safety. One thing was proven to him that he would never mix himself with Russians. They were powerful, and they would destroy anyone or anything that was going to block them. He could've died. The thought sent chills down to his spine.
Gilbert only told him that his head hurt and it must've been the effect of the strike. He was a good liar. At least, good enough to convince Ludwig. He didn't want to lie and felt guilty for hiding everything from his brother.
"You should be careful. Just be careful for me. I don't want to lose you." Ludwig hugged him and tightened his arms around his waist. Gilbert returned the hug and drew circles on his back.
Knowing Francis was there, he couldn't speak with Ludwig like before.
It was by time when they went back to sleep. But, Ludwig remained restless. He rolled to his sides and tried to sleep, but he couldn't. Something came up to his mind, and he knew it was for his best to ignore it, but he could risk it. He quietly wore his coat and took his keys. He went out of the house and locked it door. He went to Feliciano's house. He looked around and took a small rock and threw it at Feli's window. After several attempts, Feli's head appeared from his window. He waved his hand and gestured Ludwig to wait. After a moment, Feli was standing before him with a cow licked hair and puffy eyes.
"What brings you here, now?" He rasped. Ludwig shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I cannot sleep." He said. Feliciano looked at him for a moment longer. "Come in." Ludwig chained his bicycle before the door and went in.
"I think you should sleep here." Feliciano tried to hide a muffled yawn but it escaped anyway halfway through his sentence. Ludwig shifted his place and sat on the ground. "It is cold, you'll get cold. Let's sleep." Feliciano patted the couch. "I cannot sleep. I think too much." He pointed at his head with his finger. "Don't think."
"Genius, as if it is that easy. If it was that easy, I wouldn't have come here." Feliciano nodded because he didn't want to continue the argument. "Ludwig, it is literally the middle of the night. Why don't we sleep?" Ludwig sighed loudly and sat on the couch beside Feliciano. He slowly lay down and Feli followed him.
"Where are Romano and Papa?" Ludwig asked. Feli's eyes were closed. "I don't know. Somewhere, but they aren't at home." He said lazily. They were so close to each other. They were snuggling against each other. Ludwig moved a little low to bring a space between them. Feliciano was already asleep. He couldn't sleep. Instead he sat up and just stared at Feliciano and wondered; was Gilbert aware of him? Was he awake? Was Ludwig doing the right thing now?
Feliciano changed his side and faced Ludwig. "Can't sleep?" He mumbled. The younger was playing with Feli's hair. It was something they did occasionally. It began when Feli thought Ludwig had softer hair than his, because Ludwig's platinum blond hair looked soft.
So he touched his hair to prove it.
Ludwig sensed that Feliciano was tired because he had some beers; he smelled like a drunken old man.
"Ludwig I have an idea." Feliciano sat up and looked at him. A strand of hair fell to his face. He below it away before Ludwig could tuck it behind his ear.
Ludwig listened to Feliciano.
"Let me see if the sky is clear or not." To his luck, the sky was clear. No clouds.
Feliciano moved the couch beside the window and lay down. He made Ludwig lie beside him and both of them looked at the starry sky. They knew none of the cosmological patterns, they just pointed at the brightest stars.
"Look at that that is my star, Ludwig. Why? Well I have no explanation. I made it mine right now. Maybe I can give it a name. How about, Ludwig?" Ludwig shrugged his shoulders again. Feliciano turned his face towards the sky. "Yeah, Ludwig is good." He whispered to himself.
Ludwig didn't know what was going on in his home. Gilbert. Francis. Gilbert. Gilbert. Couldn't keep him out. He was injured! He should've returned back.
Feliciano wanted to hold his hand. It was easier for him to do so than to think about the reason. He simply felt like holding his hands. His hands fit perfectly with his own, because Ludwig's hands were meant to be masculine and appear strong to hold on to his slender hands. The thought made him feel warm. Ludwig was his only best friend, and one of the few people, that didn't look at him or his family as foreigners. Gilbert and Ludwig were different. They never pointed at a foreigner like others did. They were kind. Feliciano liked them for that quality.
Ludwig was staring at the stars and Feliciano stared at him. He secretly admired his aristocratic features. He liked his blond hair, which shone blue in the night time. Ludwig was growing and it kept on amusing Feliciano more and more. "Stop staring." Ludwig shut his eyes. A blush flashed on his face. Feliciano chuckled and hugged the younger. "Come on! You know..." maybe it wasn't how Germans expressed their feelings to their friends. Feliciano hesitated on choice of his words. Better be careful than sorry. He was still learning the cultural appropriations. So he simply left the end out. "Tonight is strangely bright." It had been raining for a week.
"Yeah. I look at sky at night time when I cannot sleep. After raining, you can see them better." Feliciano said. "I love them. I have heard that they are balls of fire. Like sun." He muttered.
Ludwig stood up and held his hand out for Feli.
"Let's go out and walk." Ludwig held his hand out. Feli accepted.
...
When he woke up, he couldn't deny the aching guilt he felt. And the first thing he saw that day was a piercing pale eye.
"Where were you?" Gilbert asked. Ludwig froze suddenly. "I said, where were you last night?!" Gilbert repeated in a serious tone. "I couldn't sleep, so I went out." Ludwig said curtly. Gilbert didn't drift his gaze from him. Ludwig shifted uneasily under his gaze.
"Were you out with a girl?" Ludwig wished it was true.
"No. I was with Feliciano." Gilbert huffed his lungs and sighed.
Ludwig wished it was true, he wished he had a girlfriend. He wished that Gilbert had a girlfriend; so that way they could match the norm of the society.
"Don't go out like that. I cannot lose you, you know." Gilbert caressed his cheek affectionately, but his eyes said that he was serious.
"You have to be careful." Gilbert hugged him. Ludwig knew he had to be careful. He knew everything, but in reality, Ludwig was the person who should've warned the latter, earlier. Ludwig felt like warning Gilbert about his habits. Some of them were unhealthy.
"Where is Francis?" Ludwig whispered. Gilbert pulled back and said that Francis was making breakfast. As always. Ludwig wondered how boring their food was going to get, after Francis went back to France.
When he went to the kitchen, the elder greeted him with a heart-warming smile. Ludwig really liked him. As much as he wanted to shut his eyes and deny it, he wanted Gilbert to act a little like Francis. Francis was older. He knew more. But, Ludwig wasn't sure enough about the reason that Gilbert told him: that Francis was living with them, because he had fought with some people.
It didn't seem logically acceptable. It had been over four months now. Gilbert was hiding something again, and when he hid something, it wasn't good.
"Rebelling?" Francis said in a sing song voice. "Huh?" Ludwig didn't hear him. "I mean, you leave at night time. You are rebelling against Gilbert." Francis winked with a charming smirk.
Ludwig had tried to make his smiles more gentle and soft.
"Stop it Francis. You know it is dangerous. Ludwig, don't listen to the old frog." Gilbert shooed a non-existent fly from the sky. Francis frowned his eyebrows together and mimicked Gilbert. Well, he wasn't that old mentally, yet. Ludwig watched both of them go childish. "I am going." He stood up to use the opportunity for his benefit and run away. "I am going to school." Ludwig said, as soon as a familiar hand landed on his shoulder. It was Gilbert's hand. "Stay smart." Gilbert squeezed his shoulder. Crimson eyes met ocean blues, and Ludwig knew what Gilbert was trying to say.
Stay out of danger.
...
Gilbert wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life. Ludwig was running out of his control. He wasn't the mighty supervisor Ludwig trusted once years ago. According to Francis' expectations, Ludwig was smarter than he showed. Smartness scared Gilbert. Smart people ran away from him. Ludwig was the only smart person he knew.
"You are too strict!" Francis complained. He had his reasons. "You know nothing Francis. I just wan-" Gilbert didn't finish his sentence.
"You just want the best for him." Francis completed. Gilbert nodded. "He is the nicest teenager I've seen. Give him some freedom. He is honest and loyal. He reminds me of roman aristocrats."
"You don't know him." Gilbert stressed each word in a way to convince Francis. "Some nights are brighter than days, Gilbert. And that is how I see through you and him." Francis bored Gilbert with his poetic words. Sometimes, Gilbert's body was there, but his mind was outside. The words were blurry to his ears. The background.
The wooden table cracked slowly under his elbows as his head sank lower and lower. "He is a good kid. And I think he looks up to you a lot ." Francis repeated. Gilbert was asleep.
