Chapter 7 - Shock

Nokoru sighed, chin in hand, unable to read the book in front of his eyes. He still had no idea how to ascertain Suoh's feelings towards him. What was the use of his famed intellect? Had his brain gone on vacation, too? Had it stayed back in Japan?

Not that he'd been bright concerning Suoh when he was in Japan, either.

Maybe he was a genius concerning academic performances and all that, but not where his favourite Suoh was concerned.

He sighed again.

- Why all the drama, Senpai?" Came Suoh's amused voice.

Nokoru got up and went to where Suoh was just finishing wiping the dishes. He wanted to answer "I can't manage to find out why you are so drop-down handsome" or something. But that would let the cat out of the bag. Great, hiding his feelings even meant letting go of perfect opportunities of making Suoh redden.

But Nokoru's thoughts never went further along that way, because just then, Suoh covered his lips in a soft first kiss. Then smiled at him with serene golden eyes.

Nokoru petrified. If he'd been holding anything he'd have dropped it.

- What… what…" he stuttered.

Suoh loved him. Suoh had just kissed him. What a relief.

He felt dizzy.

Wait. He truly felt dizzy. And not very well.

- Nokoru, what is wrong?" Asked an alarmed Suoh, using his first name for the first time.

Nokoru crumpled to his knees, feeling like his most basic energy was draining out of him fast. A moment later, Suoh was supporting him by the shoulders, holding a glass of cold water to his lips. Not surprisingly, Suoh had been quick to react.

Nokoru drank the water, and felt some life coming back into his body. He wanted to scold himself. This wasn't the moment to feel faint and queasy!

He did feel a bit like throwing up, he realized. What was wrong with him?

- Oh, Suoh," He whined, "I'm so happy I feel siiiiiick!"

At least Suoh would be reassured his reaction wasn't one of disgust at being kissed by a boy.

His head still spinning and his heart in his throat, he felt Suoh lift him gently and drop him on his bed.

Nokoru lay back, wishing he could stop seeing flashes of light and just concentrate on his happiness, all the while knowing it was precisely his attempts at contemplating the truth that made him unable to cope.

- No, on your side, Nokoru, in case you throw up. Here, I am putting the paper basket near the bed.

- Thanks," he groaned.

Suoh then placed cushions under his feet in order to send blood down to his blanched face.

Nokoru sighed philosophically. All this was so unromantic.

- Suoh," He called piteously.

Suoh knelt by his head, caressing his cheek softly.

- I say, Nokoru, next time I declare to someone I will be careful to throw plenty of very obvious hints beforehand. I wanted to surprise you, not make you almost faint.

- Don't declare to someone else!" Nokoru protested in alarm.

- I was joking, Nokoru," Suoh said tenderly.

- Say my name again," Nokoru asked, feeling like a sick kid requesting story after story, all for the sake of feeling spoiled and petted.

- Nokoru. Nokoru. I like your name.

- Because it means "to stay"? Of course I'll stay with you. As long as you want me to.

- That will be a long time, then.

- That suits me. They say "forever is a very long time", don't they?

- Nokoru!" Suoh chided. "You are a caution even on your sickbed."

- When there's no risk of me throwing up all over you, you'll kiss me again?

- Yes.

- And again?

- Yes.

- And I can kiss you, too?

- Yes, again and again.

- 'M sleepy.

- Do not fall asleep," Suoh warned. "You could lose consciousness."

- Then you can kiss me awake like Sleeping Beauty. Or was it Snow White?

- No way. If the first kiss made you faint, the second might give you a heart attack.

Nokoru stuck out his tongue at him.

- That is right. Stay awake.

- How many nurses flirt with their patient to keep them conscious?

- Do not start imagining me in a nurse's uniform, anyway. I may be gay but I am not into cross-dressing.

- Really? And what about that time you saved me from the pool?

- That was to help you out. I'd parade as a drag queen to help you out.

- Oh? I'd like to see that.

- Do not get your hopes up. There is little risk that kidnappers would be mollified by my rendition of a drag queen.

- Hey," Nokoru realized. "I feel better."

- I should hope so. Nonsense always perks you up. But stay like that for a while, or you will make your head dizzy again.

- Say, Suoh," Nokoru asked, serious now, "do you truly love me?"

- Of course. I thought you understood that. I am not the kind to kiss without love.

- I love you, too.

Suoh's features softened in a smile. Nokoru went on:

- How long have you known you loved me?

- Since I was about ten, I think.

- WHAAAAT?

Nokoru would have sat up suddenly hadn't Suoh held him down.

- Nokoru, be reasonable!

- But that's outrageous. I only realized just before we left for the trip! And since when have you guessed I loved you?

- Well, that came progressively, but you are easy enough to read. I think what gave me the first big clue was your sudden question about what gender I was attracted to.

- I tried and tried to guess your feelings, and couldn't! It's not fair!

- That could be because I loved you constantly, Nokoru, so there was nothing new for you to detect. Whereas you changed. You used to place most of your attention on women, so I felt sure enough you could not care for me. But here we have been living together in this flat, and I realized your attention was on me.

Nokoru sat up slowly, careful not to make himself dizzy. He seemed to be okay. He looked seriously into his friend's eyes.

- Suoh, even before I came to understand I loved you, I did care about you and Akira. I'm sorry I didn't show it better, letting you be trampled by the fangirls and solve their cases. I never thought it'd give you the idea you didn't matter at least as much as them in my eyes.

He took Suoh's hand and kissed it the way a gentleman kisses a lady's, making his friend squirm in embarrassment:

- And you, Suoh, are special. There is no one like you. If I lost you my life would seem empty…

Great, he was almost making himself cry by imagining things. But he was feeling well, now.

- There seems to be nothing but crappy clichés to express one's love with, does it?" He concluded half-dejectedly, yet feeling so elated and relieved he didn't care much how crappy a cliché could be.

Suoh smiled.

- Say it with a kiss, then.

And Nokoru did.