Scene opens at a meeting at Blow-dryer Incorporated.
Boss: Me and my assistant Dan have some troubling news to tell you. Apparently the finances are off and we're in a debt meaning some of you will have to be laid off. Whoever messed up the finances will be fired immediately. Dan was getting a number he thought was odd but didn't think anything was off (Think of when things look off but it's normal) and was presenting them to me that way and I never thought anything was odd either until I found out we were loosing money at a fast rate. The people laid off will be as follow; Rachel Green, Tom Apple, Courtney Devoulder and Tom Schilling.
Rachel: WHAT?! I'm being laid off because of some other persons mistake? When will I be able to come back.
Boss: I'm not sure but rest assured you will be coming back but we're not sure when.
Rachel: Ok.
Scene opens in Monica and Chandler's apartment with Monica on the couch.
Rachel: Hey Monica? Can I tell you something
Monica: Yeah, what's up?
Rachel: Well, I just got laid off of my job at Blow-dryer Incorporated.
Monica: How? you were always a hard worker there.
Rachel: Apparently some guy was messing up the finances and then giving them to Dan who would give them to the boss without noticing anything was off (Dan did think the number was off but compared it to those situations where it seems off but it's normal) and now the company is in a debt because of it.
Monica: That's terrible. Hopefully it doesn't last too terribly long.
Rachel: I know, but I plan on getting a new job as a customer support agency, something I've always wanted to do but got sidetracked with jobs pouring coffee or fashion.
Monica: Good for you! Didn't you also have a job where you made sassy salsa and sassy salsa flavored chips? I'm sure they'd welcome you back.
Rachel: Not after what I did though.
Monica: Oh yeah! What did you do again?
Rachel: It wasn't my fault an apple ended up in the sassy salsa and sickened five people who had apple allergies.
Monica: You're the one who made the salsa! How did you not see it?
Rachel then blushes knowing that she did in fact know it went into the sassy salsa.
Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment.
Rachel: Hey Ross!
Ross: Oh Hey Rach! How did your work day go?
Rachel: Well, I got laid off because someone made a finance mistake that cost the company thousands.
Ross: And the boss didn't catch it?
Rachel: Dan (Who helps with the finances before they head off to the boss) thought something was off but didn't think anything of it (Think of when things look odd but it's normal) and neither did my Boss until he noticed we were out some money.
Ross: So, what are you gonna do? I'm sure that sassy salsa place will welcome you back.
Rachel: Not after the apple incident.
Ross: Oh right, forgot about that.
Rachel: And besides, I really want to be a customer support agent which is something i've always wanted to do but got sidetracked with jobs such as pouring coffee, fashion and the sassy salsa job.
Ross: That's great. Who are you gonna work for?
Rachel: Probably the cable company which is New York Cable.
Ross: That's great. If you need any resume help, just let me know. Preparing a resume for a job that's not in a field you've worked in before can be somewhat tough so I'll be here if you need any help.
Rachel: Ok thanks.
Ross: How does a milkshake sound for dinner and how about steak for dessert?
Rachel: Ummmmm Ross? How about steak for dinner and a milkshake for dessert.
Ross: That works too. And we can do it at steak n shake if you'd like.
Rachel: That sounds lovely.
Scene opens at steak n shake.
Waiter: What sounds good to drink?
Rachel: I'll have some h2o please. And can we get a plate of milkshake fries please?
Ross: And i'll have h4o please.
Waiter: Coming right up.
Rachel: Ross, did chemistry not teach you anything? It's that h4o can kill you.
Ross: Relax Rachel. I'll be fine.
Waiter: Does anybody know where I can get h4o? One of my customers asked for that as a drink.
Waitress: Follow me, I know where we can get some.
A few minutes later.
Waiter: One water for you and one h4o for you.
Rachel: Ummmm, waiter? I requested h2o, not water. Could you take it back and get me h2o please?
Ross: H2o is water so it's right.
Rachel: I know, i'm messing with him.
After a couple sips of h4o, Ross collapses and nearly dies on the way to the hospital. Ross spent a month in a coma due to drinking the h4o but now knows not to drink it again. Ross then pressured steak n shake to remove h4o from their drink list and they listened and he even got his money back on just the h4o drink he ordered a month ago. Rachel also got the job as a customer service agent for New York cable.
Scene opens at Rachel's desk at New York cable.
Briiiing Briiiing.
Rachel: Hello, My name is Rachel Green. How may I serve you today.
Customer: Well, my cable box is not turning on. I accidentally cut the power cord for it but didn't think much of it thinking it would still work but it wasn't until my wife wanted to watch TV that the cable box wouldn't turn on. Any solutions?
Rachel: Ummmmmmmm, have you tried taping it back together?
Customer: Good idea, i'll try that now.
Moments later.
Customer: That unfortunately did not work.
Rachel: Have you tried super gluing it back on?
Customer: I'll try that.
Moments later.
Customer: I am here to report that did not work either.
Rachel: Hmmmmmmm? Lets try this; Grab a drain plug, fill your sink with hot water, put the cable box in the water, wait five minutes and then try plugging it back in and that should solve the issue.
Customer: Ok.
Five minutes later.
Customer: That did not work either. I also got electrocuted but nothing serious.
Rachel: All right, i'll go ahead and order you a new cable box free of charge then. What's the address?
Customer: Blah Blah Blah, Blah street New York city.
Rachel: You're all set. If you have any other issues please do not hesitate to call us again.
Customer: Will do. Also, make cable great again.
After the phone is hung up.
Rachel: Oh my god he was such an idiot.
Jen: Who was?
Rachel: My first customer! He cut his power supply for the cable box by accident but thought it would still be usable so when he told me that I told him if he tried taping it back on and then told him to super glue it when tape failed. When super glue failed, I told him to find a drain plug, then fill the sink with hot water and then put the cable box in, wait five minutes, take it out and try plugging it in again and see if that works but it didn't and he also suffered from small electrocution. After that I ordered him a new cable box.
Jen: Wow, he is stupid.
Briiiing Briiiing
Rachel: Hello, my name is Rachel Green. How can I serve you?
Customer: Ummm yeah? I just smashed my cable box into tiny pieces so is it possible for my cable box to work again if I find all the pieces and put them back together?
Rachel: I'll just order you a new one. What's the address?
Customer: Blah Blah Blah, Blah street New York.
Rachel: All right, it should arrive within a week. If it doesn't call me back and chew me out as if I made out with your mother while married to you.
Customer: Actually, I had a guy do that to me while I worked at Ralph Lauren technical support. I told him the exact same words you did.
Rachel: What a small world.
Rachel then hands up the phone and heads home hours later.
Rachel: Ross I'm home... What's with the 100 inch TV in the living room?
Ross: It's our new HHD TV.
Rachel: HHD TV? I've heard of HD TV but not an HHD TV.
Ross: HHD is better than HD TV. Our old TV cut off while watching HHD TV which is why I spent $1000 on a 100 inch HHD TV. HHD stands for High High Definition. How did your day go at your new job?
Rachel: Interesting. And good. I had two stupid people call in as well. One who thought his cable box would still work even with the power cord cut off and one who thought he could male his cable box usable again if he was able to find all the paces after smashing it. For the first guy I eventually told him to fill his sink with hot water and put the cable box in there for five minutes which did electrocute him very lightly and then ordered him a new cable box. For the second guy, I didn't even say anything and just told him to expect a new cable box within a week and that if it did not show up within a week then to chew me out as if I married his mother while we were married.
Ross: Wow! You said that to him?
Rachel: He told me that while he worked at Ralph Lauren technical support he told that to a women he was helping and she called back a week later and chewed him out as if he married her mom while they were married.
Ross: Wow, just wow.
Rachel then heads to the bathroom with Chandler walking in.
Chandler: Did your excuse of saying HHD was the reason for getting a new 100 inch $1000 TV?
Ross: Yes it did.
Chandler: Good.
