Never insult Alice

Jacob's POV

Great. Dad just informed me that I have to baby-sit Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Edward and Nessie. Bella was away with Charlie to see Renee. Her mum. Edward will be upset, they're never apart. Ah well. Won't know til I get there, I can't tell the future. I arrived as Carlisle, Billy and Harry drove off. Shouting things to me from their car.

"Edward is pretty upset, try to keep him amused!" shouted Carlisle.

"Emmett has Sassy, he won't be much trouble!" Shouted Billy. I just waved, and drove on. Edward would be upset, Bella was gone. His Bella, his best friend. Emmett had Sassy; he won't be much trouble, great. One down, four to go.

Emmett was sitting on the sofa with Jasper. Alice was upstairs, probably trying to put make-up on. Nessie was sitting on the floor, playing with a spoon, and Edward was sitting in the corner, rocking and whispering to himself,

"She'll be back, she'll be back, she'll be back," over and over to himself. It was sorta funny, but I held back my laughs. I sat down and watched the game with the boys.

After a while Edward moved. HE MOVED! WOW! Anyway he moved and came to sit on the sofa. He curled up, hugging his knees. He watched the game for a while, but got bored and let his eyes wander. So far no-one was winning, it was a tie.

Alice came bouncing into the room.

"Hey short stuff," I said. She glared at me, her face turning red.

"Excuse me?" she said, her voice rising to a note that was off the scale.

"I called you short stuff, cause you're short, cute, but short," I replied. Smiling to myself, I thought of that, I'm proud. She glared at me some more and left. I had a bad feeling about this.

Alice POV

Jake did NOT just say that! Oh she was going to get it, and he was going to get it good. All I need is Emmett, a frying pan, face-paints, and a evil cat, willing to kill. Ok, maybe not the cat, but I've always wanted a cat. Keep your head in the game Alice! Lol, high school musical. Alice! Back to my plan. Hehe.

Ok, face-paints, Emmett, Frying pan, got them all. Let the fun begin.

"Oh Jakie..." I began. I walked into the living room, where Jacob, Emmett, Jasper and Edward were sitting, watching the game. He grunted.

"I have something for you," I said sweetly, walking towards him, winking to Emmett and Jasper. They caught on and went into the kitchen. Edward looked up, but made no signs of moving. Ah well, he'll miss out on the fun. I grabbed Jake's hand and pulled him into the kitchen. I sat him down on a chair and Jasper tied him up. He looked at us confused, but he was tired, so he didn't really care.

Emmett had a frying pan in his hand; he was looking at Jake, waiting. He would get his chance.

"Jasper, get the drugs," I said, smiling evilly. Jasper smiled back and ran off to Carlisle's study. He came back with a syringe and a gooey liquid inside. I smiled. Jake was starting to wake up slightly, watching the game always makes him tired. Hehe.

"Alice, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" he screamed. He began to struggle, trying to get away. No way was he ruining my fun. He would get it, and get it good. And it was going to happen MY way.

"Jazz," I said looking up at him, trying to hold Jake down. Jasper moved forward and stuck the syringe into Jake's arm. He cried out in pain, but it was worth it. We were only giving him sleeping drugs, he'd be fine. Or at least I think it was sleeping drugs. Ah well, he'll be fine.

Jake kept struggling, it wasn't working. Emmett looked at me and I nodded. Emmett came right up to Jake and smacked him on the head with the frying pan. He fell unconscious. Now...Let the fun begin.

Jacob's POV

Uhhhhh. My head hurts so much. What did they do to me? I opened my eyes to see Alice giggling, Jasper laughing so hard he was on the floor, Emmett sitting on the ground pointing at me, with Sassy on his lap, and Edward staring at me, trying to hold back a smile. He mouth twitched and he smiled. Then he began to laugh, and was soon on the floor laughing along with Jasper. What was so funny?

There was a syringe in my arm. I pulled it out. THEY DRUGGED ME?!

WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?!

I glared at them. Alice stopped giggling, Jasper and Edward got up, and Emmett stopped pointing. I stood up and when to look in the nearest mirror. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward followed me.

I stared at my reflection. I had lipstick sprawled all over my face, eye shadow on my cheeks, Blush on my eyes, mascara on my eye-brows, Foundation all over my face and eye liner across my forehead, spelling out "Loswer". It's supposed to be Loser, I think.

"ALICE!" I shouted and they ran in different directions. I ran after Alice just as the phone rang. I'll get her later. I picked up the phone. It was Carlisle.

"Hello?" I said down the phone.

"Jacob, listen, I'm sorry, but could you take care of the kids overnight? We're stuck in traffic up at lake crescent, so we're stopping here for the night, and we can't call a babysitter at this late hour, and you're there already," said Carlisle, a little hope in his voice.

"So you want me, to stay here, overnight, with a bunch of kids," I said.

"Yes, if you don't mind," he said. I took a deep breath. Stay calm Jake, don't lose your temper.

"HELL NO," I shouted, so much for keeping calm, "I'VE GOT MAKE-UP ALL OVER MY FACE, I'VE BEEN DRUGGED, AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING NEXT. NO WAY WILL I STAY HERE WITH A BUNCH OF MENTAL KIDS THAT KNOW HOW TO DRUG PEOPLE!"

There was a silence. Carlisle took a deep breath.

"What do you mean they drugged you?" he asked calmly. Oh yeah, he was a doctor, he must have drugs in the house somewhere.

"I MEAN I WOKE UP WITH A SYRINGE IN MY ARM," I shouted. Carlisle took another deep breath.

"Put Alice on the phone please," he said, his voice shaking. I gave the phone to a shaking Alice.

"Yes daddy?" she asked quietly. I heard him screaming at her from the other end of the phone. Her eyes were watering, at the brink of crying. I felt sorry for her.

She handed me back the phone, and giggled. What was up with these kids? First they cry, and then giggle. Weird.

"Hello?" I said. Carlisle was trying to calm down.

"Jacob, I know I'm asking a lot, but could you please take care of them tonight," he said, his voice still shook.

"Sure," I said, out of fear. I've never seen, or heard, him out of control like that, it freaked me out. He sighed, thanked me, and hung up.

Alice was in a fit of giggles beside me.

"What's so funny?" I ask her, playfully. I picked her up and swung her round. She giggled even more, and pointed to the door. I carried her to the door and opened it. There was a man with a camera standing there. He took a picture and ran away. Alice giggled even harder. I glared after him. I had to get these guys back for that. Now my picture would be either on the internet, or in the newspaper, depending on where that guy was from.

Great, just great. I closed the door and walked into the living room, setting Slice down on the sofa. She was giggling so much that she fell off and onto the floor. I began to laugh then. She suddenly stopped giggling and gave me a look which made me stop laughing, and make sure I never laughed at her again. I saw a glint of black/red in her eyes then; it freaked me out so I moved away from her and went upstairs to find Edward, Jasper and Emmett. Nessie was at the foot of the stairs, sleeping. I picked her up, carried her upstairs, and set her in her crib to sleep.

I walked into Emmett's room.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I heard someone ask. I saw Emmett sitting on the bed with Sassy on his lap. She was asleep, purring, and clawing his knee. He stroked her, not noticing the tear in his jeans. He was staring at me, on eyebrow raised. For the first time in his life, he actually was acting like a nine year old. Wow. Normally he would act like a three year old and Edward and Bella would act like nine year olds.

"Hey kid," I said, knocking on the door, and peeking in. He smiled a little. I sat down on the bed, he looked down at Sassy.

"What's up?" I asked, he seemed down.

He laughed, and said, "the sky," I laughed along with him.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the sky is up," I said, still laughing, "Seriously, though, what's up?"

He frowned a little, and looked down at Sassy before he answered me.

"You know they way me, Edward and Jasper are brothers?" he asked, I nodded, wondering where this was going, "Well, we aren't really brothers. You see, Carlisle adopted us, so we aren't related, but the others don't know, only me and rose."

"What's the problem with that?" I asked. I didn't understand, I never knew they were adopted, but then again they don't tell me much. I still didn't see the problem.

"I think I like Rose," he said, "not as a sister though."

Oh. He liked her.

"There's no problem there buddy, she's not related to you. It's perfectly normal to like girls, even in that way, why you so down kiddo?" I asked. He smiled a little and said,

"Carlisle and Esme don't know," he said, looking down again.

"Are none of you guys related?" I asked.

He sighed, "Yeah, me and Edward are cousins, Jasper is my brother, Rose and Alice are third cousins and Nessie is Edward's sister." He said.

Oh.

After a while we went back downstairs. I gathered them up into the living room, so I could keep an eye on them. Nessie was awake and now sitting on the floor trying to bend a spoon.

"When papa coming home?" asked Alice, looking over at me while she and Jasper were trying to figure out how to work the wii.

"Tomorrow," I replied.

"But what bout overnight?" she asked, a look of confusion on her face.

"I gotta stay here kid," I replied, not that I wanted to stay here, no, I'm sure loads of 17 year old kids would simply love to stay here overnight and take care of a bunch of mental kids how tend to blow things up.

"YAY, SLEEPOVER!" screamed Alice. Rose looked up from the books she was reading and sighed. Jasper finally got it to work and joined in Alice's sleepover dance. Emmett was cradling Sassy, and Nessie began to cry. I jumped up and cradled her. Emmett came over, took Nessie off me, sat he down on the sofa and set the sleeping Sassy beside her. She stopped crying at once and began to giggle at the sleeping cat. Why couldn't I have thought of that? And what's so funny about a sleeping cat?

I got up and started to make the dinner for the kids, and myself. Jasper came in and said,

"The wii doesn't like me." I wonder why?

"What did you do?" I said, sighing.

"Nothing but it won't work for me, but it works for Nessie, look," he said, pointing to the sleeping Nessie. I went closer. They were playing the Wii fit, and had gained enough points for that weird balance game where you had to sit still. Emmett had put Nessie onto the board and won, mostly because Nessie never moved when she was asleep. Then Jasper had a turn, but couldn't keep still.

"SEE!" he screamed.

"Jazz, you're supposed to stay still," I said, laughing.

"Oh," he said.

Uhh, this was going to be a long night.

Ok, I know I haven't updated for a long, long time, and I'm sorry. But I've been very busy, you see, I'm writing a book and it takes up a lot of my time, so again, I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry I left it there, this chapter was supposed to be the whole night, but I'm stuck, any suggestions on what they could do overnight?

I haven't had any reviews in ages, so I'll finish the sleepover, but if I don't get at least five reviews for this one, and the other one, I'll only do one more chapter. It will be them all grown up, along with some memories. I'll probably get the next chapter up next week. I think I may have lost my readers, and I need to know if I have or not.

Again sorry this chapter took so long, and please, please review, it would make my day. (Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please review) *sad face, and puppy dog eyes*

Thanks a million (remember *sad face, puppy dog eyes* review)