One week later...

Gibbs had been quiet all week... he let Kayla do her thing, not wanting to invade her personal space. He spent most of his time in Leon's garage... he'd found some leftover wood and sandpaper there, and tried to keep himself busy. Kayla would often join him, bringing coffee and lunch.

On Friday morning, Gibbs awoke late, and made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee. He smiled when he saw that Kayla had already made some. He poured a cup and found his way into the living room. He froze in his tracks when he saw White Christmas playing on the television. Kayla was curled up in a chair, watching. Gibbs stood for a moment, listening to Bing Crosby sing to Rosemary Clooney.

When I worry, and I can't sleep
I count my blessings, instead of sheep;
I fall asleep, counting my blessings...

Gibbs took a step further into the room, and Kayla looked up to greet him. She paused the movie and sat up.

"You like this movie, Uncle Gibbs?"

He came in and sat down on the couch.

"It was my Mother's favorite," he said softly. "We used to sing this song together. When I'd have a nightmare, she'd come into my room, hug me, and we'd sing this song. I always felt better when we did."

"My Mom and I used to watch this, too. She loved it. This was her favorite part of the movie."

Gibbs sipped his coffee.

"Do you... would you mind if I watched it with you?"

Kayla smiled.

"Of course not. Here, let me start it over."

Kayla restarted the film on her Netflix queue, and Gibbs sat back with his coffee and enjoyed a moment of quiet, losing himself in an almost forgotten memory.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Gibbs arrived early that afternoon for his first session with Dr. Connor. He made his way up to the psychiatric wing at Bethesda, and the nurse directed him to a waiting area in the outpatient clinic.

He sat nervously, flipping absently through a Men's Health magazine, but not really reading it. He was almost ready to throw down the magazine and bolt, when a door to his left opened, and Dr. Connor stepped out into the lobby, accompanied by another patient. The doctor bid goodbye to the patient, and turned to Gibbs.

"Jethro, it's good to see you."

Gibbs stood and shook his hand.

"Let's go back to my office, shall we?"

Gibbs nodded nervously and followed him through the doorway Dr. Connor had just come from. They turned down a hallway and stopped at the door to a corner office. Gibbs stepped in behind Dr. Connor. The office was bright, with decorative plants. Dr. Connor also had a bookshelf on the wall by the window, with an assortment of books.

"Sit down, Jethro... make yourself comfortable."

Gibbs took a seat in a comfortable chair, while took another one across from him.

"How was your week off?"

"I'm going to go stir crazy," Gibbs admitted. "I hate to sit at home."

"How did you keep yourself busy?"

"Leon had some wood in his garage. I started a project."

"Building another boat?"

"No... something else."

"Okay. What else did you do?"

Gibbs shrugged.

"Have you enjoyed staying with your friend Leon?"

"At first I felt awkward... Leon has two teenaged kids. I felt like I was intruding into their space, you know?"

Dr. Connor chuckled.

"All too well... I have a teenager of my own."

Gibbs smiled nervously.

"How did you get along with Director Vance's children?"

"Fine. They're good kids... pretty well rounded, considering how they lost their mother."

"Do the children mind that you're there?"

Gibbs smiled.

"They want to show me everything.. help them with their homework all the time."

Gibbs stopped talking as a smile spread across his face.

"Happy memory?" Dr. Connor asked.

Gibbs nodded.

"This morning... Kayla was watching White Christmas. My mother and I used to watch it together. There was a song... about counting your blessings. My mother used to sing it to me when I was a little boy."

"I think I know what song you're talking about," Dr. Connor said. "You seemed, intuitive when you mentioned the movie. Did you sit and watch it this morning?"

Gibbs nodded.

"It reminded me of something... in my life, I have lost a lot of good friends, family, people I love. They may be gone, but I can't forget them, and I can't forget the people who I still have, who care about me."

"That's a good reminder. I want you to try and remind yourself of those things every day, especially when things get really tough or stressful. If you need help, don't forget that your friends are there to help you. Don't shut them out."

Gibbs nodded.

"I'll try."

"How are you feeling since you left the hospital?"

"I still feel like I need to fix something... I just don't know what."

"That's what I'm here for, and we can work on that. For today, we're done with our session."

"Can I go back to work on Monday?" Gibbs said hopefully.

Dr. Connor smiled.

"You're progressing more than I expected in just a week, and I'm proud of you. How about we start you off on desk duty, and go from there?"

"I-okay."

"I'll send the request over to Director Vance. In the meantime, stay with him for the weekend, and after I talk with him on Monday, we can talk about you going home again."

Gibbs wanted to protest, but nodded instead, knowing that he couldn't win an argument with Dr. Connor.

"All righty, Jethro. You're good to go! I'll see you next week. If a case comes up and you can't make it at three, call me directly and we'll reschedule." He gave Gibbs a business card with his direct line on it. "And don't call me to reschedule unless you truly have a conflict. I'll be checking with Director Vance if I think you're lying, and if I find out that you lied to me to miss an appointment, I will put you on medical leave. Are we understood?"

Gibbs was speechless. He nodded slowly.

"Understood."

"All right, Jethro. I'll see you next week."

Dr. Connor walked him out to the waiting area, and Gibbs left without a word.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When he arrived back at Vance's house, there were several cars in the driveway, including Vance's SUV. He parked his car behind Vance's and went inside. He followed the voices to the living room, where he found Vance, Tim, Tony, Ducky and Abby, chatting over coffee.

As soon as she saw him, Abby jumped up and enveloped him in the tightest hug he'd ever given her.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she said into his shoulder. Before he could respond, she pulled away from the hug and promptly slapped him across the face. "Don't you ever scare the hell out of me like that again."

"I deserve that, Abby," Gibbs said. "I owe you all an apology."

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Jethro," Ducky said. "We're all here to tell you that if you need to talk, any of us are willing to listen. You don't need to go through anything alone if you don't want to."

Gibbs came in and sat down in one of the easy chairs.

"I don't deserve friends like you all."

Abby came over and sat on the arm of the chair. She reached out and took his hand.

"We will always be here, Gibbs. Always. We're not going anywhere."

She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"We're your family. Never forget that."

"Thanks, Abbs. And thank you, everyone, for coming here tonight. The night that I - I felt like I had nothing to live for... that I had caused so much pain in this world that it'd be better off without me. Now I know that I was wrong. I-I still have a long road ahead, but I promise you all, here and now, that I'm not going to try and-I'm not going to-"

"You're welcome, Boss," Tim said. "We're all glad you're feeling better."

Vance stood up.

"How about we all go out and get a bite to eat?"

"It's on me," Gibbs said quickly.

"Well if it's on the Boss, I'm in!" Tony said jokingly. Tim reached around and head slapped him.

Everyone laughed and stood up to find their coats. Gibbs got up to follow them outside, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

"What did Dr. Connor say?" Vance asked.

"He says I can go back to work... but I have to stay on desk duty."

"You sound apprehensive about that, Jethro."

"I have no doubts about going back to work... I'm just-" he looked over at the front door, where Tim and Tony were teasing Abby. "I don't want to lose them, Leon. They're all I have left. You and Ducky too."

"No one wants to lose anyone, Jethro. When Jackie died, I thought it was all over, that I couldn't go on without her. You showed me that I had a lot to live for - my children. They need their father." Vance motioned toward the young Agents. "Just like they need theirs. You're a father figure to all of them, Jethro. They need your guidance, just as much as you need them. Be there for them."

Gibbs watched as they laughed and joked as they headed outside. Vance was right. His team needed him, and he wasn't going anywhere.

END