I walked past Savannah. I saw her head follow me and saw her dumbfounded expression out of the corner of my eye. I dropped my bag onto the floor, sat my supplies on the nightstand. I kicked off my shoes and sat cross-legged on my bed.
"Marti?"
I raised my hand to silence her, "Don't ask."
I filled my glass halfway with the gin and then topped it off with the Sprite. I didn't have my computer, so what the fuck was I supposed to do while I sat here and drank? I took a big sip and then reached down into my bag to pull out my econ book. I would read and I would make it into a drinking game. If anyone could make an economics book into a drinking game, it was Marti fucking Perkins. My mom taught me that everything was more fun with a drink. Dammit, Wanda. God, maybe I was more like her than I realized? The thought made me shutter and I took another drink.
"Marti?" She tried again.
"Drink to goods and services!" I did a toast with no one and swallowed another huge gulp with a cringe. Should've mixed it a little better…
"You shouldn't drink alone."
"I'm not. You're in the room. Plus, this book in my friend." Another drink.
She put her pencil down and put her hands on her hips, "I'm going to get a glass and I will join you."
Before I could protest, she was out the door. Shit, she was fast. Another drink. Whatever. I skimmed a few pages, drank to some capitalism, drank to more goods.
Savannah came back in a poured a similar mixture to mine in her glass. "Gin tastes like bathroom cleaner."
"What?"
"Bathroom cleaner. Gin." She sat down.
"It does not."
"I didn't say it was bad. It just tastes…clean."
I laughed and took another sip. I closed my book and shoved it onto the floor then sat on the edge of my bed and faced her, "So my bike got stolen."
"Oh…"
"And my professor totally touched my leg in the car when he gave me a ride home."
"Oh dear…"
"And Morgan keeps awkwardly hitting on me and asked me out and then denied it and was generally being annoying. Mostly, my fucking bike is stolen, so I'm going to have to leave even earlier to make it to class on time."
"I see…"
"And…" My voice trailed off. I had started to mention those dreams of mine and all of the little dirty thoughts that popped into my head in the shower and in the middle of the day.
"And?"
"Dan still won't talk to me."
"I gave up on him."
"That's good. I think I'm about to." Another big sip. I reached over and grabbed the gin, pouring a bit extra into my glass.
Savannah watched me quietly then drank a substantial amount of her drink and did the same.
"What're you doing?" I asked.
"I'm empathizing?"
"You know you're going to end up more drunk than me if you keep drinking the same amount as me, right?"
She shrugged.
"What were you working on?" I then asked her to get the conversation going again.
"Homework."
"Homework?" I exclaimed, "You never do homework!"
"Yeah, but I have to now. I have to write a paper."
"On what?"
"Oh some book."
"Fun…"
A little later I finished off the drink and ventured out into the common area to get an ice refill. I tried to be quiet and move slowly so no one would notice me. I guess they saw my reflection in the TV.
Alice turned and asked, "What are you two doing in there?"
"Nothing."
"There's suspicious laughter and you're looking a little wasted-faced."
"I'm not."
"Therapeutic alcohol consumption." Lewis put in his two cents.
"Whatever, you guys." I got my ice and returned, filled my glass three-fourths with gin and then added the now room temperature Sprite.
When I came back in, Savannah decided it was time for her to talk about herself, "My family makes me feel like crap."
"Your family makes me feel like crap too," I raised my glass and we did a bit of a half-hearted cheer.
"My sister is pregnant, my mom is crazy, my dad just lets my mom push him around…" She sighed and slouched a little, moping.
Nothing she was saying was really registering. I nodded appropriately, drank my drink, and just kept thinking about how much I wanted to kiss her and rip her clothes off. I think it was the whole conservative Christian thing. I don't even know why. The idea of corruption? Was it something to do with power? Was this some fucked up thing in my head that had to do with Dan? Was I actually in love with Dan and this was my twisted way of expressing it? Shit. Savannah was pretty much the only female friend I'd ever had. Was I misinterpreting the whole female friendship thing? Fuck…
"Hey, Savannah…" I jiggled the ice around in my glass and looked into it instead of at her, "Can I ask you a question? It's totally random."
"Go for it. You can ask me anything."
"How many boys have you kissed?"
"Just two…and you?"
"I don't even know, but that's not important."
"Oh."
"So…" I jiggled my ice some more and then imagined how annoying it must be, so I stopped, "You've never kissed a girl, have you?"
"Ew! No!" She looked aghast, and responded like a first-grader who thought boys were yucky and had cooties.
I laughed. I couldn't help it.
"Why is that funny?"
"You haven't even had a few drinks too many and kissed Alice?"
"No!"
I laughed again before becoming incredibly self-aware and shutting up abruptly.
"Have you? I heard about the whole college experimentation thing, but I thought it was a myth."
I stifled a snicker, "Yeah."
Savannah's eye widened, "What was it like?"
I could hold my laughter in no longer and I flopped back onto my bed, being careful to keep my drink upright, "You are ridiculous!"
"What? Why?"
"It's just like kissing a boy, Savannah," I told her and looked up.
"Really? Why would you kiss a girl then?" Her naivety blew my mind, and just made me want to touch her more.
"Shit happens." I shrugged and propped myself up to take another drink. At that moment, I wished Dan were talking to me, so I could ask him if she was actually any good at making out, or if she were as awkward as I imagined.
"I don't get it…"
"Don't get what?"
"Why people just kiss people."
I raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, like, isn't it supposed to be intimate?"
"It's fucking adorable how you think everything is supposed to be special and meaningful." She looked sad, but I had meant it as a compliment. I frowned. "Hey, you…it's a good thing."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I'm just bitter and cynical like most everyone else our age. I dive right into shit and make dumbass decisions…like with Dan."
"I'm in love with him." She blurted out.
I sat up completely, "You…do what now?"
