Just remember guys, I'm actual trash and update on ao3 but forget about my lovely audience here. I really do love you guys and flail over all of the support you've given me! Love you all so much :*


Time passed in a blur after that. A few drunken nights with the two idiots broke the monotony of being alone all the time aside from work, as did the sporadic texts with the brat. And, seriously, they were beyond sporadic.

A buzzing at five o'clock at night was just as likely as five o'clock in the morning and, while Levi tended to send short responses, Eren's messages were generally mini novellas detailing everything and nothing. But even with as lengthy and numerous blurbs as he shot Levi's way, never once had he pestered for a response.

That was Levi's biggest issue with phones these days. A person could never have a life or time to himself because if he didn't take the two minutes to read and reply to a single text - that could easily turn into an entire conversation - he obviously didn't care and was a terrible person. It was an annoying and needy and overall stupid as fuck concept, so when the kid let hours go by without a reply without those idiotic "Are you there?" "Hellooooo" prods so many were accustomed to sending, Levi was immensely grateful.

In fact, he even felt more inclined to reply within a reasonable amount of time, though, depending on the subject, rarely had much to offer other than an acknowledgment for the text.

Anyway, the point was that he and Eren had been texting quite a bit, but it wasn't until the day before Christmas Eve that it hit him that he didn't have anything for the brat. He knew the kid had been extremely pointed on the fact that Levi didn't need to get him anything, but he felt like he wasn't even living up to the bare minimum giving that was part of any relationship (as in two people knowing each other, not any type ofrelationship relationship).

Which was why he was wandering aimlessly down the streets trying to figure out what the hell to buy this dork. A fly-away thought had him considering enlisting Hanji's help, but was quickly squashed when he took more than a millisecond to realize how fucking stupid of an idea that would be.

If he were a girl he would just go with a piece of jewelry - he had yet to meet a girl who didn't like receiving that shit even if they didn't admit it. And Eren didn't seem like he'd want something macho.

He liked tech and he liked animals. Anything tech-related would Levi feeling stupid because he didn't know shit and would probably get something lame. On the other hand, it wasn't as though he could buy him a pet. They'd already established he may not be able to take care of a cat, and something easier like a goldfish was idiotic.

Something practical, perhaps? Not that anyone but him enjoyed practical gifts - but at least it would be some sort of offering.

This is why it was nice to only have two people he was required to buy for - both of whom generally preferred alcohol over anything else to begin with.

Just then, he came across a novelty shop and decided to pop in. There had to be something to get a twenty-three year old excitable brat.

After looking through about eighteen thousand mildly amusing or just plain dumb mug sayings, he found one that he thought was fitting enough,

"Wanna' go outside? Never mind. The internet's back up."

Eren had mentioned being on the track team when he was in high school, but confessed he wasn't much for that type of thing. And, hey, internet, so it was at least playing up his geeky job.

. . .

Since he was out and about and realized he hadn't gotten anything for anyone else, he picked up some booze for Hanji and Erwin (he was serious; they didn't want much of anything else). Petra he got a dainty necklace, and Rico he got some artsy shit because neither of them expected anything of him, but both did more than they could ever know to keep him sane and deserved at least something.

Christmas shopping complete, he found himself in front of an animal shelter.

Well, not an animal shelter - the animal shelter. At least, he was almost positive this was the one Eren worked at. A quick, curious peek inside showed no one he recognized, but after another beat of awkward loitering he realized what he was doing and all but ran down the street in his haste to get away.

. . .

He was lucky enough to have the day off, and, as much as he appreciated not being alone every second of every day, there were a lot of times he appreciated his solitude just as much, if not more.

Which was why he was particularly irritated to hear two boisterous voices from inside.

"You better start forking out for the rent at this point," he growled as he plowed into the door, finding the two morons draped over his couch and surprisingly sober considering their current giggly state.

"Levi!" Hanji bounced up excitedly. "Tomorrow's the day! The big date! The one that - "

"Shut the fuck up," he cut them off, stalking to his bedroom to drop his things off.

"Soo, did you get him something?" They asked, peering behind him and resting their head on his shoulder.

"No," he lied. Not that he knew why he bothered - they could always tell when he was lying, it was just up to them whether or not they called him on it.

They called him on it.

"You di-id!" They sing-songed, grimy hands pawing the bags and trying to get a peek.

"Oi, your shit is in there too so sto - "

"You got me something? Oh, Levi!" This ended in a bear hug that had his ribs all but cracking.

"Of course I fucking got you something. I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't."

They just ruffled his hair like he was some kind of goddamn puppy then bounded back into the living room. He puttered around in his room for a few minutes; changed into clothes more comfortable and spent a few minutes wrapping the presents to psych himself up for going out there and facing the socialization.

In fact, by the time he was done he was greatly considering not even wandering to the living room at all and had even gone as far as to flop on his bed when there was a polite knock at his door.

Must be Erwin.

Hanji would just barrel in like they owned the goddamn place.

He didn't respond, pretending that he didn't hear it.

"Levi? Are you all right?"

"Yeah?" He questioned the concern.

"You've been in there a while."

"And you've been out there a while. What the hell are you here for anyway?"

"Can I come in."

Why the fuck not. Make it a party. Bring all the cool kids and the hot drugs and maybe a stripper or -

Erwin was pushing the door open and a pair of bushy eyebrows peeked over the edge before stupidly blue eyes followed.

"We're here because we thought you might need support for tomorrow."

"You are not coming," he stated flatly, horrified by the idea of their presence.

"That's not what I was getting at," Erwin replied hastily, going as far as to hold his hands up in defense.

Levi just pushed himself to a sitting position and stared expectantly.

"It's just we thought you might be nervous is all," he was sitting down on the edge of the bed now, everything about his actions light except for the heavy seriousness of his eyes.

"I know you haven't had the best track record with people in the past, and I know you have a lot of baggage that still - "

"For fuck's sake, you're not my shrink. I know I'm a basketcase and I know I have more issues than Sports Illustrated, but I'm not a kid going to his first date. It's not even a date in the first place," he added, though it sounded weak and stupid even to his own ears.

"But you are worried," Erwin pressed, ducking his neck so Levi would meet his eyes, but he wouldn't - he refused - because then this might really turn into some kind of therapy session.

"I mean it would be unnatural to not have at least a little healthy anxiety," he shrugged because he'd shoved any fears down as far down the shitter as he could, and now that they were being exposed they were all swirling out full force and shit, maybe he couldn't do this and -

"You deserve to be happy."

"I am happy," Levi insisted as though it were obvious, gestured loosely around his room to showcase all of the shit he had to keep him that way.

A dubious eyebrow was aimed at him paired with a rueful smile. "You're living. And you have the necessities and even a few friends but I wouldn't say you're happy."

"And you would know, would you? What it is that makes a person happy?"

Actually, if anyone were to know that stuff it would be none other than his Captain fucking America so he couldn't entirely discount what he was saying like he wanted to.

"I know enough. Hanji says they've never seen you as carefree as you are with Eren. Like some heavy weight has been lifted," he added because apparently he was now a goddamn poet.

"Make it sound gay."

Which only got him a 'look' because, yeah, it was kind of gay.

"I just - I know you've been through a lot. And I know you don't want to talk about it," Erwin defended hastily in the next breath. "But I also know that you don't think you deserve to be happy and I want you to know that you do. Isabel and Farlan would want you to be happy, too."

"Just had to fucking bring them the the fuck up, didn't you?" Levi bit out harshly, launching off the bed and twitchily gazing out the window, fingers playing with the blinds.

"I thought it would help make my point."

"You're a manipulative piece of shit, you know that?"

"Only if it's for a good cause," he responded quietly.

. . .

Levi felt pretty okay about his gift.

Right up until the moment he was walking up to the cafe.

Because it was then he noticed the plethora of mugs for sale and it really hit him how fucking stupid a goddamn mug was to get as a gift. Impersonal as shit and cliche as shit and just shit altogether. Maybe he had time to buy something else before Eren -

Ah. No. There the messy brat was, waving him over vigorously then smiling and walking over to him instead.

"I'm surprised you're punctual, brat," Levi commented. It sounded smooth and stable and overall not like he was about to die - which he was, about to keel over right then and there - but there was an edge to it that he hoped wasn't picked up on.

"I beat you, didn't I?"

The kid not only rolled with the punches, he punched back.

"Did you order yet?" Levi asked, nose taking in the seasonal scent of coffee and peppermint and some spice he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"No, I wanted to wait for you," Eren answered, already heading over to the barista anyway.

Levi took one look at the chalkboard menu before realizing he had no idea what the hell any of it meant, so he just requested a plain coffee.

"Noo," Eren bemoaned suddenly, whipping around and looking ready to shake him by the shoulders. "You can't just buy some boring old coffee! We can make that any time!"

Oh, fuck, there was that we again.

"Here, let me choose for you. Do you like a lot of sweet things?"

"No. I like things bitter like my soul," the cashier chuckled more at that than Eren, though he was sure it had more to do with his intense concentration over finding a suitable drink for him more than not finding it humorous.

A sort of whiny groan stretched out from his mouth, lingering in the air so long Levi thought he might pass out due to lack of oxygen, but finally he ended with,

"You're killing me here."

"I'm fine with just a coffee," he tried again. Pointlessly. It went fabulously unnoticed and he decided to spend his time swiveling his head and really taking in the place.

Cozy was the first word that came to mind; it was dimly lit but not uncomfortably so. Light, tasteful music was playing to break up the dullness of silence but was anything but overpowering. And the tables were cramped in an intimate way, but now so much so that it felt crowded to the brim.

It was nice - was maybe considered hipster these days, but that idea sickened him because people liked coffee shops far before the idea of a fucking 'hipster' came about.

"Here," Eren was thrusting something into his hands and gently pulling his wrist along with him in clear invitation to follow.

"I didn't pay - " he was cut off by an eye roll and an, "I invited you, dumbass, of course I'd pay."

Which made it really seem like a date so he halted his tracks and became an immovable object to Eren's unstoppable force.

This mini tug of war lasted a solid ten seconds before Eren realized the problem and turned around to face him. A quick look at Levi's impassive expression and he wrenched away his hand like he was burned and closed the minimal gap between them.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you like that. I'm not trying to force you to do anything or make you - "

"Oi, calm the fuck down, brat," Levi interjected. "I just don't like the idea of owing you. How much was this shit?" His arm raised the drink to help his point.

"No, really, I want to - "

"Well so do I."

Resolution was present in both of them, and he figured if he didn't give they would literally spend the rest of the goddamn day locked in some staring battle, but, to his surprise, Eren caved first and rubbed his neck sheepishly as he stared at the ground.

"How about you pay next time?"

Next time. Aw, shit. Next time.

He really needed to get out of this whole thing before it was too late, before potential got the bright idea to rear its ugly head and sink its teeth into his soul before ripping it to shreds.

But, even with those reservations, he still found himself saying, "Fine. Next time."

That got the kid to flash a dazzling smile, his eyes twinkling somehow brighter and it hit Levi all at once that a tanned, perfect, beautiful motherfucking angel was in front of him.

Levi was known for making regretful choices despite his mantra of not regretting any choices he made because it wouldn't exactly fix them; and he could already feel the regret coming because this was a bad fucking idea and yet here he was, closely following an excitable brat ready to exchange Christmas gifts.

They'd barely sat down before Eren was badgering him about whether or not he liked the drink - and if he liked it a lot? Or if he hated it, they could always buy something else -

"If you shut the hell up for two seconds I could take a sip and let you know," he grumbled with no actual disdain, his tongue burning because it was still a touch too hot.

It was actually, "Decent," he shrugged.

"Decent? Just 'decent'?" Eren echoed incredulously, leaning forward and wrenching it out of his hands only to chug some from the top - which, okay, fucking disgusting-ass brat with his germs.

Almost dropped it because it was fucking hot and loudly complained about how all of his "tastebuds had been burnt off" and he "may never taste anything again".

Once he was done darting up to the counter and asking for some ice water, and once he was seated and breathing like a normal person again, he finally all too casually commented,

"Well. I, for one, think that's the best goddamn drink I've ever had."

"Needs some bourbon," Levi added, taking a larger sip now that it was cooler (seriously; the brat had been carrying on for a solid five minutes, the drama queen). "Sorry, I shouldn't talk about alcohol to those underage."

Eren spluttered for a beat before shooting back, "Being an old man like you I'm surprised you can even have alcohol in the first place!"

He frowned in thought after that, but both knew it didn't make a great deal of sense no matter how you tried to interpret it. Levi knew what he had meant and was feeling uncharacteristically generous so let it drop.

"Well, whatever. It's good and you know it," Eren finally huffed, trying some of his own and moaning in an all too lascivious manner to be decent.

Levi's face felt hot - his whole body felt hot - and he quickly covered that by taking in a mouthful too big and blaming the blush on the 'trauma' of searing off his entire tongue.

"Ha! Now you can't make fun of me for over reacting!" Eren stated triumphantly, pointing at him in a wild gesture and continuing with. "It hurts, doesn't it? Here."

He pushed the ice water over and Levi gratefully took a sip.

"So, anyway," Eren was leaning down and pulling something from his messenger bag and Levi was tomato red all over again because not only was he getting something, he was giving absolute fucking shit.

Seriously. A goddamn, fucking, ugly-ass, unoriginal-ass, stupid-ass -

"Here," a package was thrust at him, and Eren's smile was faltering and nervous but no less shining.

Levi slowly slid his finger between the tape and the wrapping, impressed by how neat it was and realizing that his wasn't even wrapped all that nicely. He liked things neat and clean and people thought he had OCD but he really didn't; at least not with anything crafty because he was literally the most shit person at anything crafty. Like gift wrapping.

So he had a crap gift and a crap package and he thought maybe after this not-date he would play in traffic and get hit by a bus.

He hadn't even peeled back the first slit and Eren was fidgeting and making little noises.

"What?" Levi bit out.

"I know you're old but do you have to be so slow?" Eren lamented theatrically.

"Fine."

And he went even slower.

It was probably a solid five minutes before he had fully unwrapped the box, each square inch of the snowmen decoration in perfect condition, and he was so absorbed in Eren's annoyance that it took him several beats to realize he was actually looking at the gift.

Tea.

But not any tea.

Some of that fancy-ass loose leaf tea he had been specifically eyeing up for the better part of six months but couldn't justify splurging on because,

"This shit's expensive." He commented, staring at it blankly and angling it in different facets of the light as if he would suddenly yield something different.

"I mean, it - "

"No." He said firmly. "No, no, Eren, I can't take this," he added, hastily shoving it towards the kid as though it were toxic.

"Levi, I - !"

"You spent like - like - " he was blanking on actual monetary value but he knew it was " - like a shitton of money on this! These are worth more than my life!"

"Nothing's worth more than your life," Eren told him solemnly but he kept spouting off how much money it was and now he felt even worse because he'd gotten a mug.

"Okay, Levi, wait. I didn't want to seem like an asshole so I wasn't going to tell you, but I didn't buy that."

"Eren, you can't - " Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" He sounded really stupid, but, hey, he was starting to feel pretty stupid so may as well keep up the trend.

"I didn't buy that," Eren repeated with a sheepish smile, starting to rub the back of his neck. "A coworker gave it to me and, I mean tea's all right, but I knew how much you liked it and thought you'd appreciate it a helluva lot more."

So he felt more than stupid. Felt even smaller than he normally was and the idea of the whole 'hit-by-a-bus' thing was just shy of heavenly.

Not only had he acted like an ass, he made Eren feel like an ass by admitting he was re-gifting. Levi sure as hell didn't mind, but he knew a lot of people would and it was probably a hard thing to confess.

Levi gaped openly at the teas, soul crushing and heart pounding and breaths stuttering.

"Well, I'm an ass," he broke the silence only after several seconds' worth.

That earned him a chuckle because, somehow, Eren wasn't actually offended.

"And here I thought that's what I was. I know recycling is the trend and all, but I don't think that applies to gifts," his grin lopsided and his eyes sincere, he gestured loosely to the box in Levi's limp hand.

Levi shook his head, a smile tugging at his own lips and soon he was chuckling along with Eren.

At least they were both idiotic assholes.

Together.

Shut the fuck up, insecurities, he was damn well going to enjoy this.