Sweet Deception

Witch-Mistress-Animaru

A/N: This is the first time I was not depressed with a handful of reviews for the story. And that is an honest fact. I believe that writing this story is priceless, and since I have so much fun writing it, why should I set store on the feedback? Nonetheless, I loved the reviews of the readers of this fiction. I am eternally grateful to all of you.

Can I have your opinion after you read this chapter? Chapter 6: Desires is a full-length lemon, and I'm wondering if it will be premature or not. I still have time to revise it, so let me know after you read this one.

(A/N finished May 25, 2007)

I felt the need to redeem Nadeshiko here. Pardon me.

5: Mothers

"Mama, just killed a man — put a gun against his head, pulled the trigger now he's dead… Mama, life has just begun, but now I've thrown it all away…"

- Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

Mothers know best.

Nadeshiko sighed as she swept the lawn. It was not her duty anymore, not since she became the lord's mistress, but she can't stand doing nothing. And that was exactly what she had been doing for the past decade or so, since she became Fujitaka's mistress.

It was the turning point of her monotonous life, she noted listlessly.

Mistress? Or was whore a more apt word? She thought bitterly, for that was what she felt better described her after all that had happened.

After what has been said and done, she never felt so little. She never felt so used. Or so betrayed. It was always Fujitaka. It always came back to him.

Everything always came back to him in the end. All her life can be summed up to pleasing him, trying to catch his attention.

Which she did. Only, such affection was not meant to last. She was only a means to an end — an end nobody could have predicted. And certainly did not please him.

All that was in the past now, though. She was way better from that silly little girl who pined after her sister's husband. She knew a lot more. She was no longer that naïve, innocent girl who believed the sweet promises and lies fed to her.

She did not love the man anymore, though once, long ago, she admits having cherished him in her heart. But not anymore. She knew better than that. That love died after what he did to her — promised her the world then left her when she could not give him what he wanted: an heir.

She figured after the many years she spent watching him, but particularly these last few years, that everything he did was calculated. She could not blame him for that — Fujitaka was what circumstances made him to be. But that did not excuse his hideous scheming to get back what he believed was his by birthright.

Waking up from the dream-turned-nightmare was the hardest part. After she recognized his too-many shortcomings, there came anger — for herself and her gullibility, for him and his manipulations. Then came disgust and doubt — did he not feel anything for her at all? Was she just a plaything to him and his tyrannical mind? Then, when one would expect her to explode, to self-destruct, she just stopped feeling. Emptiness filled her, eating up her thoughts, her heart — until it felt like there was nothing left to feel. Numb to the core, that was what she was.

It took a while for reality to sink in. Then there came regret and guilt — a bitterness that laced her person until recently, until she has lost everything she has neglected.

Now she realized her actions were unforgivable. She had hurt her sister beyond words when she agreed to be used by the cruel man who was master of this household. She spited her daughter for being what she was. She neglected his elder son, who might have been a result of violation on her person, but was still her son nonetheless.

If she could only turn back time, she would have done so. She felt like there were so many mistakes in her life, too many wrong turns. She was uncertain for what reasons she lived for — everyone was gone.

She was alone.

Sometimes, when the loneliness became unbearable, she thought of her elder sister — how lucky she was to have a proper family — an acceptable, bourgeoisie life. Though it was a long time since she went to bed with Fujitaka, but she was still tagged as his concubine.

Yes, Sonomi was luckier than she in most ways, she always thought. Lucky to have escaped those bastards who violated her, lucky to have escaped slavery by marrying Fujitaka.

Yet sometimes, when she contemplated the despicable creature that was Sonomi's husband, she pitied her sister. Maybe Sonomi was not as lucky as she thought. What worst punishment could there be compared to having such a man for a husband?

Maybe it was what turned Sonomi to a bloodless bitch — what caused such cold personality to surface.

She wiped the sweat from her face, pausing as she gazed at the pile of leaves before her.

Ah, they were the richest red and brown, tainted with gold. It was not yet autumn, and yet, she has at her feet the wonders of nature.

She was glad, for once, to be able to enjoy life's simple pleasures. It had been a long time since she has looked at something with contentment.

But as she gazed at them longer, she noted how the rich red leaves were so much alike her daughter's hair, a fiery, shining auburn.

As her thoughts turned to her children, she can't help but smile bitterly. She was always a greedy woman, wasn't she? Always wanting more than what life had given her and losing what little she had in the process.

Touya and Sakura…whatever became of them? Sakura had been gone from the household a good few days which seemed like an eternity to her. And eternity it will be, too. She has resigned to the fact that she might just never see her daughter again…might never get the chance to rectify her mistakes.

Touya, on the other hand, was another story. It has been five years since she last saw her son. He was the seed of a rapist, but Nadeshiko did not hate him, no. In fact, she believed she might have loved him, in her own abstract way. Truth be told, she loved both her children, but by the time she realized she neglected them, it was too late.

At the time of Touya's birth, she was still under a state of shock and immense trauma. There were nights she woke up screaming, remembering the unspeakable terror of her violation.

But the sum of it all was, she had been selfish. She was too self-centered, too focused on what had happened, refusing to move on and start anew. In the end, her son chose to bail out and ran away. Nadeshiko never blamed him for that. In fact, it deemed the only sensible choice at the time, for his mother never woke up from her past's nightmares for a long time.

That had been Sakura's case, as well. The siblings were three years apart. Sakura might have been the perfect daughter, but Nadeshiko was too busy blaming her for being a girl — she wanted a son badly to relinquish her hold on Fujitaka. She was busy feeling sorry for herself, too busy feeling angry at the world to care for her growing-up daughter.

How Sakura must hate her.

And now, Sakura — her Sakura was now Sonomi's daughter to the eyes of the world. She can never claim her daughter as hers proudly, can never try and be a mother to her in the true sense of the word. The chance was long gone, and that was the end of that. Her jibe on her wedding day hurt Nadeshiko in a way that pierced her soul.

And it was all her fault. No one else was to blame. If only she cared a bit more, if her obsession had not blinded her…

…ah, the endless possibilities of the 'if only' and 'could have been.'

But they all remained an unattainable dream for her.

Now, Fujitaka had used Sakura as he had used her. That was what angered her, for he had no right to assert his claims when he has never been a father to her.

Sakura, what have I done?

She was still lost in her thoughts when a voice penetrated her dreamlike stupor.

"Pardon me, madam," a male voice said from beyond the wooden fence. She turned, startled, to see a young man with brown hair and eyes of rich golden amber. He was very comely, she decided. As for character, she is yet to know. But she was certain he was a man of rank — his easy gait and confident manner ensured that.

"Yes?" She asked politely, turning towards him cautiously.

"Is this the Kinomoto household?"

"Indeed it is," she answered back, nodding her head lightly. She frowned, wondering who this man was. "But the master of the house is away at present. As for…" She paused, letting her curiosity get the better of her. "Who are you?"

"Ah, how very rude of me," he said, nodding vigorously. "I am Li Xiao Lang, madam; I do believe you know of me."

Nadeshiko stared disbelievingly at Syaoran for a full minute. Her heart beat fast as she realized who he was.

"Oh, yes, indeed…How rude of me to keep you standing there. You should not be going about without protection, Xiao Lang-sama. Rebels abound the place…" She opened the fence separating them. "Do come in, sir." She felt her excitement at the thought of meeting the man who now was her son-in-law, no less. "If you should know, I am Amamiya Nadeshiko, Sakura's mo — aunt."

"Ah…the very one I seek." He said, causing her to turn and stare questioningly at him.

"You came for me?" Did he know something he should not?

"Yes…well, I…uh…I came to ask about your son…Amamiya Touya."

Clank. The dustpan Nadeshiko carried fell on the grass as she stared at Syaoran dumbly.

"W-what…I do not understand why you should ask that, my dear."

"Nadeshiko-san…I may call you Nadeshiko-san, may I not?" When she nodded, Syaoran went on. "I…let us say…Well, you see, your son has paid us a visit…unexpectedly. I only wish to ask about him."

"Why, has your wife not told you anything?"

"She will not say exactly…I mean…"

"I understand. Well, if you must know, I have little information to offer you, as Touya ran off when he was fifteen, and I have not heard from him since." Nadeshiko's voice broke. "You see, I cannot say I have been a good mother to th — him."

"I…I am sorry to hear that." Syaoran offered, at a loss of what to say.

"You need not be. It happened a long time ago." Nadeshiko shrugged, gesturing to the silk-draped seat in the receiving room. "Have a seat while I prepare some tea."

"There's no need, Nadeshiko-san. I won't be long anyway."

"If you say so." All her excitement was drained at the thought of Touya. The old emptiness, the numbness, was creeping back to her veins "What of his unexpected visit, you were saying?"

"He barged in to the palace, bearing a Minamoto crest on his ninja's clothing." He said hurriedly, then regretting it upon the flash of sadness in the woman's eyes.

"I…see. He must have found his father, then."

"What do you mean, madam?"

"Touya…" Nadeshiko smiled mirthlessly, her eyes bearing all her sorrow and pain. "…was the result when the Minamotos came here to pillage like common thieves and outlaws and found me…violated me. Don't look so shocked," she added with a grim smile. "I'm afraid you don't know even half of it."

"I'm sorry," he said, this time truly meaning it. "But if only you'd enlighten me, ma'am."

"I am in no place to do that," Nadeshiko said, her eyes softening. "I am sorry to be of no help at all, but that is how it is."

"Why?"

"Well…I am only protecting those I hold dear in my heart."

"I…I see. What do you know about your son?"

"I'm afraid I can't be much help on that, either. You see, he did not bother to contact us. I doubt if even Sakura knew his whereabouts until now."

"Are they truly that close?"

"Truly, they are…as close as brother and sister could be."

"Then —"

"I cannot help you try and understand them both. But should your paths cross my son's again, you must tell him that…that I love him, truly. And that…he should come home some time."

Syaoran did not know what to say. If he saw the man again it would inevitably be in a battlefield, but he could not say no to this woman. She was…a seemingly strong but broken person, he noted. He found himself nodding mutely.

"I can see you are a good man," she said with a tight smile. She placed a gloved hand against his cheek, eyeing him with gentleness he never saw before. "You will take care of our Sakura." The last sentence was not imposing or requesting, but one of certain assertion.

"You will not let her be hurt, be a pawn of this game, will you?" Nadeshiko stood up abruptly, bowed at him, before turning away. He stared at her for a while until he thought he should leave.

Amamiya Nadeshiko is a bit strange, but I find her… a beautiful person all in all, he thought with an amused shake of the head.

He had wheedled all the information he could garner, and it was pointless to push the matter further.

---

Imperial Palace

Li Yelan studied the girl before her. She had to be in her late teens in years, she conceded, but her eyes, imperturbed and aloof, told of much more wisdom than her age allowed. She refused to be coddled, refused to show any warmth. Yelan had tried and failed many attempts at conversation. Every smile she gave was tiny and strained, every reaction minimal. It was rather like dining with a statue.

Yet she was not deterred. She knew the girl was tense; she could sense it in the airs around her. In fact, the girl amused her — she noted how much she was like her Syaoran. Cold, distant, but fiery in some ways. This was a girl he could not dominate, a girl who could argue with him without backing down. Here was a girl obviously toughened by circumstances, a girl who lived inside her protective shell.

If they will only give it a chance, they could have a chance to love.

By the looks of it, though, the two have not given the match a chance before condemning it.

"How old are you, my dear?"

"Eighteen this april first, Yelan-san." Was it her imagination, or did the girl refuse to meet her eyes? Was she lying?

"Please call me mother, Sakura."

"Yes, Yela — Mother," she answered automatically, almost absently.

"Tell me, how are you relating to my son?"

"We relate well enough." She said blankly, her face passive, that Yelan felt so frustrated.

"I see," Yelan wiped her face with a table cloth before continuing. "I don't understand that son of mine, leaving his wife alone to dine."

"It's all right, Ye — Mother. We rarely lunch together."

"Listen, my dear. I know this was a mere arrangement, but do you not think it deserves a chance?"

"I don't really see it that way, Yelan-san. If you…if you'll excuse me."

Yelan's eyes followed Sakura as she retreated to her shell further.

She knew the girl was intending to shut her out. She was unsure how she knew, she just felt it. It was almost as if the girl feared to get too close to anyone. It did not anger her, only aroused her curiosity more.

Something was definitely amiss, she decided. And whatever was wrong, she will find out. Syaoran deserved something better — way better, after what he has been through.

Somehow, despite this problem she foresaw, Yelan found the girl a good choice. She was strong and wily, someone who will not take to manipulation all too kindly.

Aside from that, Yelan saw in Sakura what she was years and years ago.

She only hoped that her son will have the sense to realize what he had in his hands. She hoped they will complement each other — complete the emptiness within, find their haven in the forced, trapping relationship.

No, she disagreed. She knew it will happen one way or the other.

The two are destined for each other, she was sure of it.

She only hoped they realize it early enough.

She will be good forhim, I know it in my heart…for he doesn't deserve anything less.

A/N: Wait for 6: Desires.