A/N: Own NOTHING! Here ya go! Chapter 7!
I really didn't want to see Edward right now. Even though I participated in the idea but no. I'm not ready. I called Alice and told her and she understood and told Edward. He was mad but said another time. I need time on my own and he wasn't going to help if I saw him anytime soon.
I was having an inner battle about the whole Edward situation and guess what? You have tickets! Yay! NOT!
(Bella's thoughts are bold and herself talking to her thoughts are italics)
So, what's on our topic today, InSide Bella?
I have an idea. How about your hot ex?
Are you trying to ruin my life?
Oh honey, you know me so well. ~Chuckles evily~
Of course I do. You are me. I have to.
Yeah, I guess. So back to Edward. Why aren't you with him right now?
Maybe because I don't want to. I need time alone, I guess. ~Shrugs~
It's funny. We are the same people and yet, have totally different thoughts. Impossible.
Well, maybe.. Um, I don't know. He doesn't love me anymore. He pushes me a way all the time.
Maybe he can't control his lust. It happens.
That was always his excuse. Then he left me a day later.
Bella, ask him. He probably just wanted to protect you from what he is.
And look where that leaves us.
Bella! Listen to me! He wanted to protect you from getting hurt. So he left.
But I wasn't even changed a day later. Like an hour later.
You're not getting the point here.
Yeah, I think I am. I mean, hello! He didn't protect me for to long. An hour and then it was like he got bored so left me there to be in torture for three days.
You wanted to be one. You are! Why aren't you getting things through your head?
Maybe I wasn't good enough. ~Bites lip~
You are perfect for him! Too perfect! He doesn't deserve you!
It's me who doesn't deserve him. He had a bunch of beautiful girls over him for atleast a 100 years and he choose me.
What's that suppose to mean? ~Looks angrily at the wall~
Well, I'm boring looking. Not now. But brown hair and eyes. Talk about dull!
You're getting too into it. ~Rolls eyes~
But, I'm right. ~Nods~
Nope. Ya know what?
What?
I'm starving! Go hunt! I'm in the mood for some mountain lion.
~Mumbles~ Fat ass.
I heard that. ~Glares~
Suppose to!
So that was the show! Nothing special. I mean, my thoughts were telling me to be possitive but I can't. I was once but not anymore. I can't. It's just not the same without your lover with you by your side.
I didn't know a thing I was going to do.
Jacob is out of the picture. He found this girl at the club we went to. Her name is Vanessa. Perfect for him. They hung out twice since then.
Riley is my best friend and I don't want to ruin that. I mean, he's all I have now. I don't want a stupid relationship to ruin that.
Edward is my past love. I still love him, not gonna lie about that but how can I trust him not leaving again?
I had no idea what I was in for but no one will ever know, unless Alice. Stupid short Pixie.
But get this? I love Riley. I love Edward. I love a future with the right someone. Not just someone to make me happy. So does that mean I should pick Riley?
If I pick Riley, Edward would hate me and I want him in my life. For whatever he wants to be. And whatever I want.
If I pick Edward, Riley will think I'm giving everything up to just be with Edward. Did that once. Not gonna happen again.
I need them both in my life. For whatever I choose them to be. Even if I end up single for the rest of my life, I could be content with them in my life.
I wish Renee was here so she could help me out. Emily doesn't understand this situation. She has her life already planed out. I don't even know if I'm going to school as a student anymore.
If I could cry, I would be in tears. I can't decide what I should end up doing?
With Edward, I was obsessed and didn't want to leave his side. That kind of love.
With Riley, I can be away from but still miss him. I don't want to leave his side but I know I don't want to get attached again. Look what happened last time!
HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME!
I've never had this feeling before. Well, before Edward left him and Jacob hated each other.
Edward and Riley seem to get along pretty well. Which is a bad thing. I don't wanna ruin that. I mess things up so badly now.
Maybe I should ask Carlisle to hook me up with a therapy class for me. This is just so weird.
HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME!
A/N: Alright so some help me here people? Give me some ideas for the next chapter! And the most important question: Edward or Riley? Or do you want her to be single? Ideas people! REVIEW if YOU WANT MORE!
