Writer: Keep the ball rolling!

What, do you think I won't or something? Like, do you honestly think that I want to push back the beginning of ACTUAL STUFF, and therefore force myself to continue slaving over these mildly annoying, shitty introductions for longer than is absolutely necessary?

Fuck no. Of course I'll keep the ball rolling, there's no stopping this spherical device!

So behold my shit as I shove it in front of your eyeholes.

Don't blame me, It's your fault you clicked on this fic in the first place.

Now, go ahead and behold, I have to go fix the Fourth Wall, and all I have is masking tape and glitter glue. Wish me luck.

Uhh... behold?

Your name is KAEKER FELAYE. You are a MALE troll of exactly six sweeps and kajilian elevendy seventh point ninety percent and a half days old. OK, maybe that's not it, but you are a FAILURE at ANY AND ALL THINGS INVOLVING NUMBERS. You hate numbers. Your HORNS are a bit SMALL, but they're really POINTY and still bigger than your KISMEISIS'S. Your SIGN is Lynx. You, similar to both your MATESPRIT and KISMEISIS, are interested in both SPARRING and ROLEPLAYING, but significantly more interested in the LATTER. You really like MEOWBEASTS, but not those lame ones often kept as PETS. You like the WILD ONES. You wear a GREY SHIRT with your SIGN on it in a DARKER GREY. Your pants are BLACK and your SHOES are WHITE. You also wear a FANCY WHITE CAPE with a HOOD and WHITE FINGERLESS GLOVES. You aren't trying to hide your BLOOD COLOR or anything, but you do have a reason for wearing NEUTRAL COLORS, and that REASON will be explained LATER ON IN THIS INTRODUCTION THAT WILL PROBABLY BE LONGER THAN THE PREVIOUS ONES. PROBABLY. Your HAIR is a mess.

Your HIVE is nothing special. From the OUTSIDE, anyways. From the OUTSIDE, your HIVE is a simple SHACK that looks big enough for maybe ONE or TWO BLOCKS. The INSIDE, however, is a GIANT UNDERGROUND LABYRINTH of expansions even you have not yet discovered. Your HIVE is filled with RANDOM ITEMS AND ARTIFACTS, and is a DISORGANIZED MESS. No two BLOCKS are alike, and you gave up COUNTING how many BLOCKS there are after it got into the double digits, but you know there's A LOT OF THEM. Your MAIN RESPITE BLOCK is basically the only BLOCK contained in the ABOVEGROUND PORTION of your HIVE, only because of CONVENIENCE. That BLOCK has a bunch of PILES OF ANIMAL BONES due to your LUSUS. You don't know why, but basically any TROLL with a carnivorous LUSUS has a bunch of PILES OF ANIMAL BONES. Well, in your HIVE, it's because your LUSUS has a habit of bringing DEAD CREATURES into your BLOCK. You think it might be some kind of PRESENT, at least in the eyes of your CUSTODIAN, so you can't bring yourself to moving them.

Your CUSTODIAN is some kind of LARGE WILD MEOWBEAST. His full name is BOBCATDAD, but that's way too long. CATDAD, however, makes him sound WEAK, and BOBDAD just sounds WRONG, so you usually just call him BOB. BOB is the kind of LUSUS who almost always stays by your side. He may be SMALL, but he's REALLY FIERCE and STRONG, and could easily beat up ANY PATHETIC BARKBEAST. But he's also FLUFFY, and that can be good, too.

You don't have many FRIENDS, and the ones you do have you met only through your MATESPRIT and KISMEISIS. Many TROLLS find you ODD because you cannot tell COLORS apart. At all. You have ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF COLORS WHATSOEVER. Most TROLLS who find that out think you're COLORBLIND, and they're RIGHT. Most assume that you were BORN COLORBLIND, so you let them think that. The only two TROLLS you've ever trusted with your SECRET are your MATESPRIT and KISMEISIS. So basically only FOUR LIVING BEINGS know about your SECRET, and that's including both YOURSELF and BOB. Well, five, but you don't like to talk about HER.

When you speak, you rea¿y don? care wha? you sound ¿ike, and you have absolutely no idea what color you type in. Others claim you type in a really light grey, but you aren't sure you believe them. You aren't sure what your blood color is either. Your MATESPRIT claims that you're a Cerulian, but your KISMEISIS insists that your blood is ORANGE with PINK FLECKS. You're more inclined to believe the former. You have two strife specibi, staffkind and swordkind. Your weapons are a simple six-foot staff and two shortswords that you dual wield. You prefer to use the staff while SPARRING, and prefer the shortswords while ROLE-PLAYING. Your fetch-modus is scratch and sniff. Your trolltag is felinicSightfall.

So, now that you're done beholding, what are you going to do?

Stuff.

You do stuff. This Stuff includes exploring your hive, because you felt like it, and why the fuck not?

Nothing exciting happens.

Why not? Because this is still an introduction chapter, dumbass. Nothing ever happens in these.

You return to your respiteblock and locate your husktop. Due to your boredom, you decide to troll one of your more... Unusual acquaintance who never fails to give you a really exiting conversation and/or role-playing session. You don't even know her actual name, just her trolltag and role-playing character's name. She doesn't know your name, either. To you, she is Zeatya the Wise, a skilled huntress who never actually kills anything, just sort of tracks stuff, and to her, you are Koryan the Swift, a fierce and noble member of a fierce race of wildcats that can talk and stuff.

felinicSightfall [FS] began trolling indisputablyUnavalible [IU]

FS: (|) -» /koryan the swif? dar?ed ?hrough ?he shadows, his ?ai¿ ¿ashing and brigh? eyes g¿eaming\

IU: Zeatya the Wise pro-o-owled thro-o-ough the undergro-o-owth, stalking her prey. O-o-on this particular day, she was hunting a fairly large ho-o-ofbeast, no-o-othing to-o-o adventuro-o-ous.

FS: (|) -» /?he wi¿d and fierce meowbeas? koryan ¿eaped from ?he shadows and knocked over ?he wise and migh?y hun?ress.\ gree?ings friend /he meowed fierce¿y\ wha? goes ?hings wi?h you /he asked\

FS: (|) -» /fierce¿y\

IU: Zeatya the Wise pushed the silly wildcat o-o-off her. She sto-o-od up and gave him a little pet befo-o-ore replying, "Well, I was tracking so-o-omething, but it's no-o-ot very impo-o-ortant. Just a ho-o-ofbeast that angered a small drago-o-on because it was in his territo-o-ory. Serio-o-ously, yo-o-ou'd think a drago-o-on wo-o-ould be able to-o-o track a simple ho-o-ofbeast himself, but no-o-o, make the tracker do-o-o it."

FS: (|) -» /koryan ¿aughed before saying\ dragons are s?upid, ?hey wou¿dn'? know a horse from a i?s own shi?

IU: Zeatya fro-o-owned. "Have you ever even met a drago-o-on befo-o-ore?"

FS: (|) -» we¿ no bu? a s?upid dog i know me? one, and she said i? was dumber ?han a cho¿erbear we me? once, and i had doub?ed ?ha? ?hings sen?ience

FS: (|) -» oops /he rep¿ied fierce¿y\

IU: Zeatya's fro-o-own slipped into-o-o a grin o-o-once mo-o-ore when she said, "And yo-o-ou actually believed him? I tho-o-ought yo-o-our mo-o-otto-o-o was never trust a do-o-og because they're all liars and have fleas."

FS: (|) -» /koryan nodded and his norma¿y fierce face had a ¿ook of ?hough?fu¿ness on i? when he said\ ?rue, she was probab¿y jus? being ?he ¿ying skum she usua¿y is.

IU: ((O-o-oh, so-o-orry, I have to-o-o put a quick pause in the ro-o-oleplay. I go-o-otta po-o-of, so-o-omeo-o-one else is tro-o-olling me.))

FS: (|) -» ?ha?s ok, seeya soon!

felinicSightfall [FS] ceased trolling indisputablyUnavalible [IU]

You wonder who would be trolling IU. She had told you many times that she didn't really talk to many trolls, and that you are really one of the only ones she talks to on a regular basis. When you first heard that, it made you feel kinda bad for her. But once you expressed your concern, she had insisted that she used to have a few friends, but there was this incident or something that made her despise them, and now she's perfectly fine with just having you as a rp buddy. You chose to believe her, because you have no reason not to.

You are about to say something along the lines of "Kaeker: Waste Some Time," but before you can, your husktop lets out a fairly loud chime, signalling that someone wants to contact you.

At first, you expect it to be IU, but quickly dismiss the idea. It has been mere seconds since she said that she would be chatting with another mystery troll, and IU, the kind of troll who'd use twenty words where two would suffice, would never be done that quickly.

You open trollian, and are immediately frustrated. Not this dickface again.

hypoCritic [HC] began pestering felinicSightfall [FS]

HC: hey

HC: kittykaet

HC: kaeker

HC: you going to answer me or what

HC: helloooooo

FS: (|) -» oh, no? you again

FS: (|) -» wha? ?he fuck do you wan? from me ?his ?ime

FS: (|) -» and i s?i¿ have no idea why you know my fucking name

HC: wow

HC: i thought you were cat themed

HC: shouldnt that make you all soft and cuddly and other fluffy shit like that

FS: (|) -» how many ?imes do i have ?o say ?his

FS: (|) -» i?s no? some ¿ame house?ame meowbeas?

FS: (|) -» i?s a fucking wi¿dca?

HC: really

HC: thats not what rb described

HC: but then again she usually thinks that ferocious things are cute and that gross things are awesome so maybe thats what she ment

FS: (|) -» who ?he fuck is rb

HC: oh i guess she didnt talk to you yet

HC: she will probably soon though dont worry

HC: she never told me how it went but i bet you two will be awesome friends

HC: seriously you two are just like goddamn perfect for each other

FC: (|) -» if shes any?hing ¿ike you i doub? i?

FS: (|) -» and why wou¿d she know any?hing abou? me if she never me? me

FS: (|) -» and why ?he fuck were you talking ¿ike she a¿ready me? me or some weird shi? ¿ike ?hat

HC: sorry dude cant tell you that

HC: youll find out later

FS: (|) -» we¿ if you aren? going ?o ?e¿ me abou? ?ha? why ?he fuck are you bo?hering me

HC: oh right

HC: got off track there

HC: like some fucking train or something

HC: but anyways

HC: in your future

HC: yours not mine

HC: theres going to be a pop-up on your computer/husktop thingy

HC: and itll have a button-looking thing in the center

HC: whatever you do

HC: DONT CLICK IT

HC: no matter how tempting

HC: or how much your troll friends brother you about it

HC: dont do it

HC: you have been warned.

FS: (|) -» wai? wha?

hypoCritic [HC] ceased pestering felinicSightfall [FS]

You fucking hate that guy. He always bothers you at the worst possible times, and he never tells you anything. And he doesn't even use a quick! Who the fuck even does that? And then there's the whole thing where he acts like he's some kind of goddamn time traveler. He's just a stupid whining wriggler begging for attention. Certainly not worth your time.

Well, at least that consumed some time, and now IU is trolling you again!

indisputablyUnavalible [IU] began trolling felinicSightfall [FS]

IU: ((Alright, I'm back!))

FS: (|) -» grea?

FS: (|) -» whi¿e you were gone some quirk¿ess idio? decided ?o bo?her me

FS: (|) -» again

IU: ((O-o-oh, really? So-o-omeo-o-one like that has been chatting with me fo-o-or a while no-o-ow.))

FS: (|) -» rea¿y

FS: (|) -» is i? ?he doucesack hc

IU: ((No-o-o, I have never talked to anyo-o-one called hc.))

FS: (|) -» oh good, because hcs a s?upid idio?

FS: (|) -» were you ?a¿king ?o your quirk¿ess jus? now

IU: ((No-o-ope, just a tro-o-oll who-o-o wanted me to jo-o-oin their game.))

FS: (|) -» did you say yes

IU: ((I said that I wo-o-ould think abo-o-out it and tell them when I make my decisio-o-on.))

FS: (|) -» quick before ?hey find someone e¿se ?o fi¿ your spo? say you wi¿

IU: ((Why?))

FS: (|) -» because i'm in ?he game ?oo!

FS: (|) -» bu? i go? on a ?eam wi?h my kismeisis so ?hat sucks

FS: (|) -» bu? you can provide emo?iona¿ suppor?

IU: ((O-o-okay, I was just wo-o-orried that I wo-o-ouldn't kno-o-ow anyo-o-one if I played.))

IU: ((But no-o-ow that yo-o-ou're playing, I think it'll be really fun!))

IU: ((I'll be back in a bit, I'm go-o-oing to-o-o go-o-o tell WN that I'm planning o-o-on playing! :) ))

indisputablyUnavalible [IU] ceased trolling felinicSightfall [FS]

And now, the chapter ends, and the Writer cheers in the corner because these shitty introductions are almost finished. Yay.