A/N: Ever done that thing where you write a whole chapter and then forget to save it and have to rewrite the whole thing? That's what happened to me!

Thank you EVERYONE who reviewed! You are the absolute best. Keep comments and ideas coming. This chapter was no as angsty as I thought it would be but I hope you all still enjoy.

The night of December 12th Izzie did not sleep. She spent hours tossing and turning in bed trying desperately hard to sleep but she couldn't get tomorrow out of her head. It was the day of her operation. The day a surgeon would strip her, expose her on a surgical table, then, probably with an audience of interns, he will cut her up, stitch her back together and sent her back to her home where she still hadn't worked out how she could avoid telling her friends.

Izzie lay awake staring at the ceiling wondering what was going to happen to her. A lumpectomy was a straightforward procedure but it was undeniably major surgery and Izzie knew there were risks. Even if the operation went well she would have months of chemotherapy, radiotherapy, hormone replacement therapy and still be left with the chance of infertility.

People were beginning to notice her anxiety at work. Izzie was screwing up frequently and found herself confusing treatments and sometimes even patients. She was struggling to get through the day without breaking down or crying and the fact that Mark Sloan was constantly offering to do her surgery for her was slowly driving Izzie crazy. More irritating then Sloan was Cristina who kept berating Izzie for her lies and clearly didn't understand where Izzie was coming from. In an attempt to steer Cristina off track she lied about her surgery date:

"It's the 18th December," Izzie replied to Cristina's question after she stopped her outside the hospital. "I'll be on the 18th."

"The 18th? Are you serious? You cannot wait that long!"

"It's the first available date they have!"

"If you just stopped worrying about what everyone thought of you then you could have the operation in Seattle Grace today. You wouldn't have to wait till the 18th. You would have the best surgeons here, the best treatment and best after care."

Izzie frowned at her, angrily, "The only reason why you want me to have the surgery here is so that you can have another opportunity to scrub in!"

Cristina raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm sorry, what? I do not want to scrub in on your surgery and I would never ask you to have your Op here so that I could cut you open. I want you to have it here so you can get the best treatment and the best support so you can recover from this and move on with your wife. So that you can live. The way you're going it's as if you don't even care about your life."

Izzie shook her head at her. "You don't understand…"

"So you keep saying. What am I suppose to do when I'm with Meredith and she starts talking about how concerned she is about you? Do you know what it's like for me trying to lie to her? She's worried. Alex is worried. Everyone is worried. Even Bailey was asking about you. She thinks you've gone crazy like this because of George!" Cristina paused for a second. "If you don't tell them before the 18th, I will!"

"Cristina!"

"No, Izzie. I am not going to let you do this to yourself. If you try to do this alone you won't make it through. I'm going to tell Meredith."

"You can't! You're a doctor! Everything's suppose to be confidential!"

"You didn't tell me as a doctor…you told me as a… as a co-worker."

"I told you as a friend!" Izzie corrected. "As a friend, you have to do this for me!"

"As a friend, I have to make sure you live. People come into this hospital everyday with cancer and most of them walk out again. They don't lie and tell their boss they are taking four days off to see family, they don't hide the illness from their friends and the people that they live with and they don't try and return to work amid chemotherapy – they rest, they recover and then they get on with their lives. Now if you don't tell her by the 18th then I will. End of conversation."

Izzie grabbed Cristina roughly and looked at her in the eye. "You think I wanted my life to become like this? You think I want to have cancer? That I want to go through this alone?" She asked fiercely. "I don't have a choice."

"We always have a choice. And you are choosing wrong. Even if I didn't tell them, it would come out. I'm just saving you the trouble. You have until the 18th."

"Cristina! You lied to save Burke when he had a tremor. You could have put so many patients at risk. Why can't you do this one thing for me?"

"Ok, firstly I told you not to mention him. And secondly, that was different. I thought I was helping but seeing you ruin your own life is not helping. What has happened to you? Since when did you care of what people thought of you? What happened to the girl who held her head high when Alex plastered the walls with pictures of you? What happened to the girl who dated a patient despite what everyone was saying about you? What happened to the girl who survived surgical probation and all the whispering, talking and judging? God, what has happened to you?"

Izzie didn't answer. She didn't know.

"You don't want people to think you're weak. I get that. But you're acting weak. You don't even have the guts to tell anyone or ask for help. I'll tell them on the 18th unless you do. Don't be weak."

On reflection Izzie was glad she had lied to Cristina about the date. She had at least five days to recover and come up with a new plan to steer everyone off. A part of Izzie was deluded – hoping the surgery would be so successful she wouldn't need any other treatment. Another part of her was scared – she knew she had months of fighting the illness.

As Izzie stared up at the ceiling she had never felt so alone. Her thoughts turned to George and wondered where he was. What he would do if he knew how she was suffering? Would he be there for her? Would he put his arms around her and promise to be there for her? It was in that split moment that Izzie decided to go and talk to Meredith. She needed someone. She was vulnerable, fragile and terrified. She really needed someone. Someone to hold her and make her feel strong. To convince her that it would all be ok. She stood behind Meredith's bedroom door and paused before knocking. What was she supposed to say? And what did she expect Meredith to do? How would she react? Would she really care? Would she think she deserved it? Would she think she was weak?

She heard Meredith snore from inside the room. Within a second Izzie changed her mind. She couldn't tell Meredith. She just couldn't. Izzie learnt against the door and fell to the floor a tear falling down her face. More then anything she just wanted to walk in, curl up in her bed and tell her. But she just couldn't. Meredith's mum had died. She was having problems with Derek. Izzie had already asked too much of her over the Denny situation, she couldn't just wake her up and ask this of her. Izzie closed her eyes and leant against the door. As alone as she felt she knew what she was doing was or the best.

A few hours later…

"Izzie…Izzie!"

Izzie could feel someone shaking her lightly and opened her eyes. Meredith was gazing up looking worried and concerned.

"Izzie are you ok?"

Izzie looked around and found herself still on the floor outsides Meredith's room. She must've fallen asleep there. "Oh… Hi. Sorry," Izzie mumbled quietly as she pulled herself up from the floor.

"Are you ok?" Meredith repeated. She looked at Izzie searchingly. "Why were you out here? Did you faint? Did you need me? Izzie?"

Izzie looked away from Meredith and started muttering excuses about coming home late and it being very dark. "I'm sorry, just ignore me," she added.

Meredith just stared at her. "I can't Iz, you've been acting so weird. Not just today but for a while now."

"I'm fine!" Izzie insisted walking away from her friend quickly.

"Izzie you're not. Everyone has been wondering. Since that Callie incident, everyone has been wondering. You haven't talked to anyone – you're constantly quiet and evasive! You seem so distant lately."

"I'm really fine!" Izzie replied, anxiously. "I'm just fine!"

"I don't think you are…"

"Well you don't know anything, do you?" Izzie snapped angrily. "Just stop judging me!"

Meredith looked taken aback. "I'm not judging you Iz! I'm worried about you!"

"Well don't be! Just don't!"

Izzie avoided the confused gaze of Meredith and moved into the hallway away from her. "Izzie! How can I not worry? You've been totally distant lately. You haven't been talking. You've been struggling at work. Is this because of George?"

"Not everything is about George!" Izzie shouted at her. "Get out of my way!"

Derek walked into the hallway. "Is everything ok?" He asked, tiredly.

Izzie answered yes and Meredith answered no in unison. Izzie ignored Meredith and turned to Derek. "What time is it?" she asked.

"It's quarter to ten!"

Izzie's eyes widened in shock. "What? I have to go!"

Izzie bounced out of the door at such as speed Meredith or Derek didn't have the time to say anything.

She raced towards her car and drove towards the hospital. Izzie's surgery was scheduled for ten. She was already late. She knew what surgeons were like when people were late.

Dr. Lock was her surgeon and was very polite when she finally arrived although he was very cold and obvious didn't like being kept waiting.

As he went over the procedure with Izzie it suddenly became real. When Izzie was told she had cancer she just remembered seeing images in her head. But this was real. This was happening to her. Within minutes she would be lying on a surgical table being sliced and diced by a man she had only met for 5 minutes. She couldn't concentrate on what Lock was saying. She was too terrified to take anything in. She didn't know him. She didn't know this hospital. And no one knew she was here. What if something happened? What if she died? What if this man wasn't good at his job?

For the first time Izzie was beginning to wish she was having her surgery done at Seattle so much that her eyes welled up in tears. She felt more alone then she had ever felt in her life and although she was trying to be strong and brave about this she, like Cristina said, just felt weak. As Dr Lock explained her treatment plan her mind turned to Mark.

"Izzie! I can do the surgery for you. I would do it well. You'd be in the best hands," he pleaded to her.

"No! You're not even an oncologist. You're a plastic surgeon. What do you know about lumpectomies? And don't call me Izzie. I'm Dr. Stevens."

"Izzie," he repeated again pointedly. " I can do it better then anyone at Presbyterian. I'm serious. Let me do it!"

"Why do you want to it," Izzie asked suspiciously.

"I care about you!" Mark blurted out. "I mean… and…" he felt embarrassed for saying it and the look on Izzie's face didn't help. "And I've already seen you topless so it would avoid any of that if you went somewhere else."

Izzie's look of surprised turned to a look of disgust. She walked away from him and Mark felt mad at himself.

"Izzie! I didn't mean that! Please!"

"Call me Dr. Stevens!" Izzie replied, angrily. "And go away."

Izzie closed her eyes as she recalled that conversation in her head. Dr Lock was cold and robotic. Even Marks annoying charm and wit was slightly more comforting then Lock work.

She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to do this. Why had she got cancer? She was 28? What had she done to deserve this? These were her last thoughts as the anesthetist put her under general anesthetic and she was hoping, praying and begging that they weren't her last ever thoughts.

Izzie lay awake after the surgery. She had been awake for around 20 minutes and although she was relieved to still be alive, a fresh wave of worries began. She was in serious pain and her whole body felt sore on a level that Izzie had never experienced. She was still exhausted from the anesthetic but she guessed evening without it she would still be weak.

Dr, Lock walked over to her when he saw that she was awake. "Dr. Stevens, nice to see you're awake. I'm glad to tell you that surgery was a success and we have removed the mass of tumor and the surrounding lymph glands. However you did lose some significant blood during the lymph removal so we will be monitoring your progress over the next few days." He waited to see if she responded but she didn't. "Izzie, you just had major surgery which was successful – you should be happy."

Izzie nodded slightly. She had little to be happy about. She still had further treatment which would disfigure her body in ways she had never experienced. She felt worse then she ever had in her life. She had no idea how she was going to go home without anyone noticing her physical state and she was in an unfamiliar hospital with no one to comfort her.

"Do you have any visitors coming tonight?"

Izzie shook her head. "No," she muttered quietly.

"Oh well. Never mind. We have a good intern on call for once. He's retaken the year so he's very at what he does. More then the other duds. Watch out for him – Dr. O'Malley."

"George?" Izzie responded in shock. She tried to pull herself up but it hurt so much.

Dr Lock nodded, "You know him? He was from your hospital. Yes. Looks like you may have a visitor after all." He smiled at her, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Izzie watched him he left, her heart pumping at super speed. George couldn't see her here. He couldn't know. Throwing aside all her pain Izzie reached over and grabbed her chart. She had to get out of here. Maybe she could get a cab back home? Or to a hotel? She pulled herself out of bed and although she could barely keep her balance and moved slowly and unstably she began her exit strategy.

Alex walked through Seattle Grace smugly. Cristina, who was sitting with a pile of lab results glance over at him suspicious. "What are you so happy about?" she asked.

"I'm going over to Presbyterian to pick up my donor organs," he explained, smiling irritatingly. "I have a transplant surgery."

"You have a transplant surgery?" Cristina repeated, excitedly. "Seriously?"

"Yep, a heart and lung transplant and I get to carry out some of the procedure!"

"You have a cardio transplant? I want in."

Alex laughed. "You want in? I don't think so."

"Cardio is my thing. I want in. How do I get it?"

"Get in what?" Meredith asked, walking over intrigued.

"Evil Spawn has a transplant surgery," Cristina explained.

"Oh, I want in," Meredith said quickly. "Come on Alex, I need a surgery. I haven't had one as a resident yet."

"Neither have I," Cristina added.

"Yeah, well what can you give me?" Alex asked, slowly.

"Oh, I can give you lot's of stuff. Wedding presents, wedding flowers, wedding everything," Cristina argued desperately.

"I don't need to give you anything! You live in my house," Meredith tried.

Alex looked between the two. "I'll take Cristina's offer!"

"What?" Meredith asked, outraged. "Wedding gifts trump house? Wedding gifts trump house?"

"Wedding gifts trump house!" Cristina repeated, laughing.

Alex grinned, "Well I don't even know if the organs are suitable donors. That's why I am going down there. See you later."

With that in mind Alex left and headed towards the hospital. Seattle Presbyterian wasn't too far and he arrived quickly. It was a big hospital but without the quality and excellence that Seattle Grace had to offer. It took him over five minutes just to find the surgical floor and even then it was a mess.

As he approached down the hallway he saw a figure slumped across the floor. He was in a rush to get the heart so he ignored it and walked on. A few minutes later when he couldn't find the correct hospital wing he turned around and walked back towards the figure. He was a doctor – maybe not in this hospital but it was his duty to help. He walked towards the body which he identified as a girl. She was tall and thin with thick blonde hair. It took Alex just seconds to realise who it was. "Izzie?"

His heart skipped a beat before he dropped to his knees in front of her. "Oh shit. Izzie."

He turned her over and realized his friend had collapsed and was barely conscious.

"Izzie can you hear me? Damn it. Izzie?" He pulled her body into his lap and started to shake her gently. "Izzie, can you hear me? SOMEONE QUICK! I NEED SOME HELP OVER HERE!" He shouted, hoping someone on call would here him. "Come on Izzie, come on."

His heart was beating faster then his brain could function. What was Izzie doing here? How did she end up collapsed and alone in the middle of a hallway? He noticed she was dressed in surgical gowns and had a Seattle Presbyterian identity tag around her wrist. Why didn't he know she was ill? He hadn't talked to her in so long, he was so mad, and although he would hate to admit it, so jealous over the George situation he had just ignored her. "Izzie wake up. HELLO? I NEED A DOCTOR!" He screamed again.

He stared down at Izzie worriedly. She looked weak, vulnerable and seriously ill. He felt scared for her and confused. He looked around for a second to see if anyone arrived to help but he couldn't see anyone.

Fearing the worse, Alex scoped Izzie into his arms and started to run towards the stairs. "Don't worry," he said to Izzie determinedly. "I'm going to find help. You're gonna be ok." He completely forgot about the transplant surgery as he ran down the stairs to the accident and emergency department. Helping Izzie was the one and only preoccupation in his mind.

He burst through the doors of A and E and shouted for help. A crowd of doctors rushed towards him and beckoned him into a room.

"This is Izzie Stevens," Alex explained breathlessly. "Dr. Izzie Stevens."

The doctors placed her on a bed and began to monitor and measure her output.

A doctor turned to Alex. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know, I just found her collapsed upstairs."

"What is she being treated for?"

"I…I don't know," he stuttered, looking over at the monitor at her vitals.

"How long has she been admitted?"

"I don't know!" he repeated again, feeling like a complete idiot. "I don't know anything. I just know her." As he watched the doctors rush around Izzie he realise that he couldn't remember the last conversation they had. But how could she not tell him that she was being admitted to hospital? And why Seattle Presbyterian? Meredith hadn't said anything.

"Is she going to be ok?" he asked, moving towards the table feeling helpless. "Izzie? Are you ok?" he asked, hoping and praying she would find the strength to answer.

Another doctor looked up as he inserted an IV into her blood vessel. "We're not sure. She seems weak, her stats are unstable but she doesn't seem to have suffered any additional major injuries."

"Izzie," he muttered affectionately. Alex moved towards her bedside watching as the doctors inserted medicine through the IV. "What's happened to you?" He looked at her pale face and could tell if she was awake she would be in pain. He looked at the monitor as saw her heart rate was low. "What's happened to her?" he asked the doctor.

The door opened and an intern walked in. "I found Dr. Stevens notes in the surgical wing hallway." He handed them to the main doctor who glanced over the recent pages before quickly. He responded quickly and anxiously. "Page Dr. Lock. He should be here."

"What is it?" Alex asked. "Seriously? Give that to me." He grabbed Izzie's notes out of the doctors hands and flicked to the last page. "Invasive surgery. Wide Lumpectomy and Gland removal," he read aloud. He looked up, "I don't understand. Why would she need a lumpectomy? She doesn't have cancer!"

The intern shrugged and nodded towards the notes, "Well apparently she has."

"But… How?" Alex stumbled. "She was… she was fine… You're saying… that she… she has…"

"Breast Cancer," the main doctor replied finishing Alex's fragmented sentence. He pulled the top of her gown. "Obvious signs of very recent breast surgery."

Alex froze with shock. "I… I don't understand…" He pushed through the doctors till he was at Izzie's bedside. "Izzie?"

This time he got a reply. "Alex?" Izzie uttered so weakly she was barely audible. Her eyes flicked and she groaned with pain.

"Oh my god, Izzie. You're awake!" He took her hand in his and told her reassuringly, "I'm here. Don't worry. I'm here."

She was still barely conscious and it took her a long time to realise that doctors were rushing around her. "Alex…" She suddenly became aware of where she was. She must've collapsed when trying to leave. But how did Alex find her? She tried to speak but he couldn't hear her.

"What was that? Izzie?"

"Call… M…"

"Meredith. Sure. I'll call her," he responded eagerly.

Meredith wasn't what Izzie was trying to say. She still didn't want anyone to know but obviously it was too late. She actually wanted to tell him to call Mark. But right now she wasn't strong enough to correct him.

A/N: So there you go. What do you think? I always wanted Alex to find Izzie after Figgiesbabe mentioned it in her review of Chap 1. Ok well thanks for reading and please review. Will try and update asap! X