Kelly: O.K. Shepard, I've scheduled Samara for 1.00, Tali for 2.00, Jack for 3.00, Miranda for 4.00, Kasumi for 6.00 and if you could fit me in at 7.00 I'd appreciate it.
Shepard: Sounds good, but you better schedule Tali the extra half an hour, you know how long it takes with her, all those extra things to deal with. Just move Jack back a half hour, she doesn't waste time with chit chat.
Kelly: Certainly Commander. Pardon me for asking, but isn't it difficult trying to deal with so many in such a short time?
Shepard: I won't lie Kelly, it's a tough gig, dealing with all their strange quirks, their special needs and wants, but what choice do I have? I won't let little things like the fate of the cosmos interfere with doing my duty. Performance Reviews need to be completed monthly and I'm just the man for the job.
Garrus: I must say, I'm disappointed Shepard. Given the title of this chapter, I expected a saucier opening salvo.
Shepard: Garrus, there can be no greater sin than not achieving your K.P.I's.
Jack: You know where you can stick your K.P.I's?
Shepard: We'll discuss this later Jack, maybe with some nice engine rhythms for background music.
Jack: Hey… do I look like a firefly engineer?
Shepard: 'Bout as much as you look like an Atlantis base doctor.
Jack: Whatever.
EDI: If you're finished referencing Jewel Staite, you may note that we are approaching the Omega 4 relay.
Thane: Remind me again Shepard, why are we once again risking total oblivion traversing this dodgy relay system and exposing ourselves to unknown reaper attacks….again?
Shepard: Two questions Thane: Number one, you're dying, why would you care. Number two: You're a Drell, why do you need reminding of anything?
Samara: Shepard, why is SHE here?
Liara: Worried the Commander might prefer to get it on with a younger Asari?
Samara: You've got nothing on me; check these out!
Garrus: Ooh! Nice implants, very natural looking.
Liara: Yeah right, like any Asari should need implants.
Samara: Let's see if you're still in such fine working order when you turn one thousand, princess.
Liara: But seriously, biotic implants? In an Asari? It's just not right.
Zaeed: Leave Grandma alone, I'd still get it on with her.
Samara: Uugh. Despite having eight thousand, seven hundred and ninety-six lovers, I have standards.
Legion: Samara-Justicar…
Samara: Forget it, you bucket of bolts.
Grunt: Grunt?
Samara: What are you, three months old? Come see me after you reach puberty.
Shepard: Moving right along.
Garrus: Shepard, what is this all about?
Joker: Yeah, what's the plan boss?
Shepard: Plan? You think I ever work from a plan?
Kasumi: Please? Just a teensy-weensy one.
Shepard: Fine, here's the plan then: take two people with me, pull out big gun, shoot anything that moves, get out alive. Any questions?
Zaeed: Works for me!
Shepard: Thought it might.
Garrus: Love it when a plan comes together.
Shepard: Hey that's my line, I'm the boss!
EDI: Ahh, A Team, television series and movie remake.
Joker: Hey, wasn't this chapter supposed to be about the seven deadly sins?
Shepard: No, not seven. Just one. Deadliest sin of the science fiction world: a series where the captain DOESN'T get it on with a female from every alien species. Can't stand for that.
